Hey there! OMIGOSH I was so happy when I saw how many reviews and favorites and follows this story got! Like, I though it would get 3 at the most for each but NO! There was so much more! Thank you thank you thank you. Anyway, I kinda wanted to clear something up. Tris's and Tobias's lives aren't completely switched. I mean, Tris is abused and Tobias isn't but it's not completely the same. As you keep reading, it will clear up. It's like reading a real book and being confused but then you discover things as you keep reading.
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Fourtris Lover: OMG thanks! I luff your username by the way.
Hi: Hi, here's an update:)
Rosa: Thanks. I always try to write my fanfics well. Fanfics with incorrect grammar and spelling annoy me too. Haha.
mileyismyhorse: Here's an update! I hope it didn't take too long!
brwatson: Thanks! I read your story too. It's amazing.
Divergentfan97: Yay! I did!
46: Thank you thank you thank you! Oh, and Natalie and Caleb will be explained later in the story:)
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Divergent24-7: Aw thanks! And yay I finally updated!
Enjoy!
I'm not sure I'm brave.
But I'm free.
Right after the Choosing Ceremony ends, the Dauntless leap to their feet and take off running. At first, I'm lost in the sea of black as they all push past me, eager to leave the crowded room. By the time I regain my senses, I'm already far behind everyone. I immediately start running, pushing my legs as far and as fast as they will move; I will not do to fail initiation before it has even started. The long skirt of my grey Abnegation robe doesn't do much to help me, though, so I hitch it up to my knees.
When I finally reach the shouting Dauntless, I only have a second to catch my breath before they start jumping on the train. Oh my god, I think.
Panting, I start a steady jog and gradually move faster until I'm running along the quickly moving train. Copying the Dauntless-born, I latch onto a handle and use my arm to pull myself up with a shriek. My wounds from Andrew have not yet healed. I can already feel traces of blood seeping through the fabric of my skirt, and I wince. I have never been through this type of exertion. Usually, I'm forced to grimace in pain as beating upon beating whips my backside, but this? I feel a sharp stinging in my chest and I'm breathless. My hair has come out of its neat bun and flies around my head as I run. But my mind is clear and focused, and I have never felt more alive. My whole body has waken up, like a butterfly flying out of it's cocoon, and I can feel my nerves buzzing as I take in my new surroundings.
I collapse onto the floor of the train, breathing hard as I gasp for air. A layer of sweat lines my forehead, and I use the too-long sleeve of my shirt to wipe it away. Then, while I roll up my sleeves, I stand up.
The train is packed with initiates, the majority dressed in black and the rest a combination of red, blue, and black and white. I'm the only Abnegation initiate.
Everyone is chatting amongst themselves, the loud and soft words blending into incomprehensible sound. I'm relieved to see that nobody has noticed me. I walk in the direction where there is generally no Dauntless-born, as they have gathered into a clump at the front of the train. Near a corner, I spot a Candor standing with her arms crossed, not looking particularly lonely, but rather observing the other initiates.
"I think they want us to die," the Candor girl suddenly says as I sit down at her feet. She raises her eyebrows.
"Huh?" I ask dumbly, unsure whether she was talking to someone else or even just to herself. You never know with the Candor; they tend to blurt out whatever's on there mind at any time.
"Why are you sitting down?" she asks.
"It's a fast train. A fast train means wind. Wind means falling down." She sits down too.
"Hey," she says. "I'm Christina."
Christina has short brown hair that ends just below her shoulders and brown eyes of the same shade. She has chocolaty brown skin and sharp features. She has a good figure, skinny, but curvy at the same time. Unlike me, with my short stature and plain features.
"Hi Christina," I say. She looks at me expectantly, as if waiting for more. But I can't bring myself to tell her my real name. If I tell her, she'll know who I really am: Andrew Prior's daughter. And I don't want her to know that. I refuse to be bound to Andrew in any way, shape, or form, at least not anymore.
I turn away from her, though I can still feel her gaze burning into my back.
"Hey girl," she says after a few silent minutes. "Aren't you going to tell me your name?" Sighing inwardly, I shift my body to face her.
"I don't see why that's relevant." Christina rolls her eyes with a smirk on her face.
"Well, there's a little something called communication, and I'd like to know what to call you whenever I want to talk to you again," she says, nudging my back playfully.
Unfortunately, her elbow bumped one of my largest cuts given to me by Andrew. I wince before I can stop myself, a sharp stab of pain coursing through me. My expression hardens as I stand up and move a few feet away from her. I hear her mutter under her breath in annoyance, most likely calling me a few unflattering things. But I don't care. Who said I even wanted to be her friend?
I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to make friends, I don't want to be friendly. I just want to pass initiation and make it into Dauntless. Who knows what might happen if I become factionless? Andrew, for one, would track me down, because it's the Abnegation that provide necessities to them.
Everyone seems to treat me as if I don't even exist, like they've been so used to looking down on the grey-clothed Abnegation that when one actually transfers to Dauntless - which has only happened once, if I remember clearly. Probably not though - no one actually notices.
I make it out of the train ride alive, so hurray for that. But then I see the Dauntless-born, excitement radiating from them as they line up near the open entrance of the train. Christina and a few other transfers stand up and see what the commotion is all about, as do I. Of course, I'm too short to see over some of the Dauntless-borns' towering heads. In the end, it's Christina who finds out what they're doing.
"They're jumping onto the roof!" she shouts incredulously. Murmurs arise from the crowd of ten or so transfers, some in fear, some amazed, but most disbelieving. They couldn't possibly make us jump twenty feet off of a train, right?
Despite our doubts, one by one they take off into the air. Eventually, the transfers all begin following the Dauntless's examples, and they slowly begin filtering out of the train. And then it's just me.
And Christina.
She holds out her hand to me and says, "Let's jump together." I shake my head, shying away from her outstretched hand.
"I can't."
"But you have to," she insists. "Unless you want to be factionless. Do you?" No, I don't. And she's right. If I never want to see Andrew again, I have to jump. Swallowing hard, I shakily take her hand. She drags me to the very back of the bus, with me stumbling along until my back is pressed against the cool metal. "Are you ready?" I take a breath.
"As I'll ever be."
"One, two, three," she counts slowly. "Go!" We both take off, sprinting the short distance between the back of the train and the exit. I can't help but hesitate when the time to jump onto the roof comes. I barely make it, skidding over the edge of the roof and teetering slightly before I land on my hands and knees on the rough pavement. If I had tilted back instead of forward, I'd have fallen off the roof.
To my utter horror, that's exactly what happened to one initiate. I don't dare to look over the roof and see her body, twisted and bloody, but another girl, a Dauntless-born, sobs, kneeling at the edge of the roof. I shudder as a boy, his face stricken, lightly shakes her shoulder and whispers something in her ear, leading her away. I turn back to Christina.
She was far more successful in her leap than mine; she landed well onto the roof, far from the edge, and she's even laughing a bit.
"That was fun!" Yes, Christina will fit in perfectly with the thrill-seeking Dauntless. I shrug, and then turn away. My arm stings from the impact of the rooftop, and I roll up my sleeve to check the damage. The skin's been scraped off, but at least it's not bleeding.
"Ooh. Scandalous. A Stiff's flashing some skin!" Peter, a Candor, says. 'Stiff' is the slang term for Abnegation that's supposed to be insulting. I redden, knowing that I'm the only Stiff here, and I roll up my sleeve as fast as I can.
"Listen up!," a man yells, his voice loud and deep. He is walking along the ledge of the roof, the very ledge that I almost fell of from. I can only begin to imagine how he got up here. "My name is Max! I'm one of the leaders of your new faction. The member's entrance to our compound is several stories below. If you, for whatever reason, cannot muster of the courage to jump from this ledge, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first." What is it with Dauntless and their love of heights?
"You want us to jump of the ledge?" asks an Erudite girl. Her eyes are wide in shock, though I don't see why.
"That would be the point, yes?" Max says, amusedly.
"Is there water at the bottom or something?"
"Why don't you go see for yourself?" he retorts. The girl hesitates, as if she might say more, but decides to quit speaking.
The crowd of Dauntless-born splits in half, making way for someone to walk through.
This is a scare tactic. They wouldn't have their new initiates jump to their death before initiation even started. It would be a waste of new...material. There must be something at the bottom, waiting to catch me.
I have to jump first. I'm not sure if I'm just too proud, or what, but I have to jump first, despite the heights. They all probably view me ask weak already, since I was the last to get on the train, the last to jump of the train. If I don't jump first, I might as well be factionless.
As I walk to the front of the crowd and step up onto the ledge, I can feel the glares of the other initiates burning on my back. They're expecting me to fail. They're expecting me to run back into the crowd, because they already think I'm a coward.
I stand up, my legs trembling, my heart beating. My hands find the buttons on my shirt, and they shakily undo them. Underneath, I'm wearing a tight grey T-shirt. Besides Andrew, no one has ever seen me with so much skin exposed. I throw the shirt at Peter, who I already hate. I think I hear catcalls and shouts, but every sound is blocked off by the wind in my ears or the pounding in my chest. I look down the gaping hole, hoping that I'll see something, anything. But all I see is seemingly endless black. I have to do it now. But I can't. I can't bring myself to jump of the ledge. I stand there for what could be only a few minutes but it feels like days. My face is burning up in horror that I just embarrassed myself more by trying to do the exact opposite. I will be ridiculed throughout initiation, I know it.
"Anytime now, Stiff," Max says impatiently. I take deep breaths, holding in tears of anger and despair.
Then, a pair of hands pushes me, hard.
I can hear the culprit's laugh echo in my ears as I fall, the sound fading until it disappears. It's Peter's voice.
My body feels weightless, but at the same time, I'm dropping like a rock. I squeeze my eyes shut, my limbs flailing out as I wait to land or maybe to not land at all. Maybe this really is endless. I hear a girl's voice, shrill and high-pitched. Faintly, I realize that it's me.
The wind is knocked out of my lungs as I hit something that's hard but still gives way as my body smashes into it. My whole body hurts as I roll onto my stomach, gasping for air. It's a miracle that my wounds haven't started bleeding again. Or maybe they have. Maybe I just can't feel it through the electricity in my veins
It's a net! I can't hold in a breathy laugh of relief; at least I'm alive.
A pair of slender, calloused hands grabs my elbow and pulls me off the net. While the grip is rough, I feel safe in them, as opposed to Peter's. They hold my shoulders as I steady myself, and then I find myself staring into a pair of entrancing dark blue eyes. They are connected to a man's face, who is undeniably handsome.
"I can't believe it. A Stiff, the first to jump?" It isn't the man who said that, but rather the girl next to him. I shudder; she has three silver rings through her eyebrow. She smirks at me. "Were you pushed?" I swallow and shake my head, not trusting myself to speak.
"There must be a reason why she left them, Lauren," he says, running a hand through his dark brown hair. Then, he turns back to me. "What's your name?"
I freeze. How can I answer this?
"Uh," I say. The guy raises an eyebrow.
"Do you not have a name?" It's all I can do to shake my head. How many times do I have to humiliate myself?
He looks at me skeptically.
Lauren, who seems amused by this says, "So she's Nameless. Make the announcement, Tobias."
"First jumper - Nameless!" Tobias shouts. I expect laughter at the ridiculous name, and there is, but there is also congratulating screams and shouts as a crowd materializes from the darkness. I grin.
Another girl's scream comes from above. It's Christina. The Dauntless reply with louder screams and fist pumping. Tobias, who has been watching this with amusement, turns back to me.
"Welcome to Dauntless."
Yay! She meets Tobias! By the way, you might be wondering why I made her be the first jumper, or at least attempt to be the first, even when she had a fear of heights. This is because she had an Aptitude for Erudite, so she figured out that there was something to catch her. In the end, she was pushed anyway. Thanks!
-Cindy:)