Strange Day At Class
by Goddessa39
Naruto is not mine.
Rated: T for Teen, for no reason.
Naruto/Hinata, possible Sakura/Sasuke, implied Neji/Tenten.
Genre: Humor/Parody...imagine that.
Timeline: Spoilers unsure, but they are about to have the Gennin test that begins it all.
Summary: It is with a remarkable poise that Umino Iruka addressed his class who were all looking slightly off. He has no idea that they are back in time to change the world, and the destiny of Konohagakure, for the better. All he knows is that this is a strange day, indeed. This is just a scene.
Note: This is what I think may happen if a version of the Rookie 12 who had been close went back in time.
The day dawned bright and early over the Village Hidden in the Leaves within the country of Fire. Birds flew in flocks upon the sky that shined with morning dew and the yellow ball of flames that began to creep over the edges of far off mountains and the occasional canopy seemed to smile over the people.
Up in his white tower in the center of the village-though at the edge of the populated town, the Sandaime Hokage sat upon his comfortable chair and glowered over at his paperwork. "You will be defeated," he mumbled angrily. "For I am the Hokage of this village and I will not be beaten by the likes of you." His eyes were hard and the lines upon his face seemed to be tuned in edge to give him the appearance of sharp features.
There was no other sound in reply but the silence was deafening. In his quiet hatred, the old man rubbed at the bottom of one of his aching knees and glowered. This is not going to be a good day, he thought, but there was also no way he would let it go undefeated. With a tired sigh coming from a man who knew he was too old to be 'doing this shit,' he sat up and reached forward to the carefully piled paperwork.
It would not do to let it get larger.
But maybe, he thought, it would be okay if he called Naruto for some ramen. He would rather his wallet lighter than the pile to remain, and Naruto always managed to lose him a few papers.
Umino Iruka stepped into his class the minute the clock struck the appropriate time. He had one of his favorite jutsus primed, but to his surprise there was no use call for.
He did not have to call out loudly to a misbehaving knucklehead or get some of the girls to shut up their squalling.
The class was mostly quiet.
Huh, he thought dumbly, will wonders never cease. And indeed it was something to be looked at and savored because classes of children-civilian or ninja alike-are packs of misbehaving enemies. The students were all in their usual seats though a few were a touch at odds with their normal routines.
Given, Nara Shikamaru was snoring lightly at his seat, and Akimichi Choji was snacking from a large back of potato chips that were taboo within the school, but generally ignored for that clans sake.
"Good morning, class." He greeted them like usual and got an unusual unusual reply.
Hyuuga, Yamanaka and one of the girls that was there as 'support' gave a half-hearted and echoing "Good morning sensei," but others were silent. Oh, Iruka knew better than to expect an answer from the sleeping Nara or the silent Shino from one of the clans that dealt in bugs, but others were strange.
The pink headed girl who was usually screeching along with Ino at brain-bleeding levels gave a low groan like a steam engine.
Iruka had to stop a moment and think of where that simile came from. What was a steam engine, he thought, before shrugging it away. The world of ninjas was fraught with death and terror and a strange level of 'what the fuck was that' that one had to learn to let the weird things, giant chakra beasts, and green spandex go.
A light shudder spread over the man at the half-thought-conscious of Konoha's Green Beast because the Green Beast Clone was one of the two boys that were there for 'support.' Something about their sensei having a 'competition' with his 'greatest rival' for their 'precious students.' He shuddered again. And that is why, Iruka told himself, I went into classroom teaching.
The 'clone' himself had his mouth in a seemingly permanent smile. His open mouth showed very white teeth that seemed to 'ping' in the light of the early sun. Iruka had to look away less he blind himself, though he did not wish to ask about it. The badly drawn curves of a smile over closed eyes were curious but Iruka thought to himself, you are too much a sane man and low class ninja to bother with other's oddities. Just let it go, and he did.
"What's wrong with Naruto?" he asked the class instead, because they did not seem to be bothered that the usually lighted up boy was quiet and seemed to tossed atop his desk like an old piece of driftwood. His chest was face up and his eyes were large and blank staring forward at nothing. He was dragging his hand in front of his face and his lips moved but even for a lip reader, the words were random and too insane to contemplate by a man of Iruka's sort who would rather keep his sanity than to understand a deranged child.
Most of the class seemed to look at the boy, look at Iruka, and shrug. The odd synchronous attitude was shocking and the teacher had to resist the temptation to call in a platoon of ANBU to test for infiltrators, though he knew no one could ever make themselves stand in for Naruto. No one would dare.
There were only two people who seemed untouched by the group mind of the class, though they too were in odds of their usual attitudes. Uchiha Sasuke had his head flat on the desk and was snoring louder than the Nara. This was in contrast to his usual stoic and unaffected airs. He must be catching a rest from his fan girls, Umino thought, before looking up to the two most loudly fawning of the previous fan girls. Yamanaka was blonde and bubbly but she had a new and more appropriate outfit that consisted of a weapons pouch, a leather whip, and a set of fishnet underclothing to go beneath her dress.
Iruka had heard about her mother so dismissed the whip lest he get a nosebleed.
Haruno Sakura had her head on the desk as well, and her eyes were half open. Through the slitted lids, Iruka could see bloodshot veins running through her eyes. A large blue ice pack was pressed around and under her head, doubling as a pillow.
"Are," he began slowly and unsurely, "are they drunk?" The class was silent and not meeting his eyes, as if they actually knew. Iruka closed his eyes and pursed his lips, tracing over the large scar that ran the length of his nose almost to his eye before taking a deep breath that all teachers of adolescents seemed to learn.
"Why," he lamented loudly and towards his favored student, "why are you drunk?"
Naruto said nothing but his giggling was enough to make them all shiver as he ran his hand up and down over his eyes in fast motions. It was a deranged laugh though not deep enough to cause Iruka to think of his tenant. Instead, the teacher made a few hand signs and was confused and astounded when his 'Kai' did nothing. He tried again to dismiss a major illusion and gave it some extra power, but nothing was dismantled.
Iruka's big-head-no-jutsu activated unconsciously as a headache began to build behind his eyes; His mouth opened with a firm frown line and his question of "Uzumaki, Uchiha, Haruno!" sounded more like a shouted "UzuChiHaruno!"
Haruno Sakura gave a yelp and started whining lowly as she clutched her head. Uchiha had shot up, failed to stand, fallen and hit his head on the desk, successfully knocking himself back out. Bastard-that was probably to his luck. Naruto looked up at his beloved 'Iruka-sensei' before looking back at his hand. His eyes went wide in almost fear before he shouted "But I am in the service of the Orange!" and attempting to bite his own digits off like a wild animal that had come to realize that yes, fingers should not be green and purple.
Nara poked his head up, took a look at the strange scene, actually had the force of strength to role his eyes before going back to his nap with an unheeded murmur of, "Troublesome."
Iruka had to ignore his own urge to run from the room and find someone else who would 'Kai' him or at least make sure he was not sleeping. I don't know if I should trust anyone here to pinch me, he thought. He was about to intervene when his view was taken up by the shy Hyuuga heiress.
"Ano," she said quietly, touching Naruto on the head where he let go of his hand and fell unconscious on the floor. "Sensei, please do not mind them," she began with more words said aloud that made her face go redder and redder as she caught the attention of the class. "Lee-kun challenged Naruto-kun to an eating contest." She did not look at Choji who had already returned home when curfew came.
In response, Tenten held the boy up by the scruff of his neck and Umino had the image of a wet dog covered in some sort of green substance that began to crawl like old dishes left in the sink for a few months too many.
"Unfortunately, things got a little out of hand, and someone got hold of some other ingredients," for this, Iruka told himself the girl did not actually glare [because Hinata did not know how to of course] at Kiba's furry master.
At this point, Mizuki walked in, took one strange look on the floor where Naruto had collapsed. The man did not grin but he did have to withhold the urge to kick the downed demon. "I have the test ready," he said before turning around and walking out. No way am I going to ask about this, he murmered to himself. He did not want to be involved.
Iruka followed him then because he was not sure he wanted to know any more, either.
When he left, Hinata took the time to reattach Naruto's hand and two of his fingers seamlessly. With a hand motion the blood cleaned itself and disappeared. "Naruto-kun, you should have known better than to inhabit class-S narcotics," she murmured but it held no ill will. Part of this was because she loved him, part of it was because she was not really mad. After all, he needed some way to fail the exam and by now, every time someone said 'bunshin' he had his favorite jutsu so ingrained that a Kage bunshin appeared somewhere near him automatically.
Besides, it was not her orange-loving-boyfriend's fault. It was her teammate's. Nearby, Kiba shivered. Nearby him, and behind a cloth, Shino-of-bugs gave a malicious smirk. "Kiba is in trouble," he murmered to himself. The others heard him but ignored it. There were ninja of more troubling and wierd characteristics than Shino's occasional occupation of kicking a dog [Kiba, not Akamura] when it was down. "How do I know this?" Nobody responded though the class heard him. "Because women are evil."
A kunia wrapped in thick paper flew across the room, hit Shino in the head, and the bug boy fell off his seat with a groan. Nobody saw the female of Team 8 do this-or at least they did not say anything. She did, after all, have control of her teammates now. After Kiba's master's little... indescretion, she had to of course root out the misbehavior while she could.
In contrast, Tenten smacked Lee on the back of the head. The boy squealed like a pig strapped to a pit before passing out in pain. Neji just looked up at his teammate. Nobody needed to call him on it but Kiba whispered "whipped" into the room in which he got a kunai stuck very close to his 'other friend.' It stayed lodged into the replaceable wood of the chair so the mut had to stand slowly and get a new chair.
Hey, this is a ninja classroom. There were always a stack or chairs nearby when new seats were needed.
Akamura, the very perverted and devious one of the pair just grinned unnaturally like what no one in the Naruto verse would identify with 'Cheshire.' Even if they did, they would not say it because Akamura hated cats.
Eventually, all of them passed, except for Naruto, because he would not wake from his forced slumber. Umino Iruka in comparison, said nothing more than was required before going to get a drink and forgetting what he could of the class after the day was done with. The alcohol would do nothing to change the even that would occur later that night.
END?
Okay, that's all I have for that. Basically, the four Gennin team students came back in time en masse. Naruto needed a way to get his favorite move [Kage Bunshin of course] so he needed to not pass immediately because he could not just fail to show up. Hence, he and Lee had an eating contest of curry or something, but Naruto just turned it into ramen until Akamura slipped something else in which made the orange knucklehead pretty unresponsive.
Tenten is there for support. Plus she just wants to watch. Pup-err, I mean Neji just does whatever his girlfriend says.
And Sakura and Sasuke may be together or not. Either way, Sakura could not be allowed to drink alone, but while drunk she cannot make herself sober so she and Sasuke are suffering for it. Though why someone from the other teams did not help them out, I do not know.