Story: Making Arrangments

Rating: M

Author: CrownsofLaurels

Beta: Eurwen

Chapter One: The Mission

Summary: In which Tsunade and Naruto discuss business. Which means, of course, that Tsunade gets drunk.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I write this for fun and am not paid for it.

Chapter One: The Mission

Naruto knew that something was off when she stepped into the Hokage's office, called out "Hey, Granny, what's shakin'?", and wasn't met with a punch through a wall. She didn't even get a tick of the eyebrow.

Naruto paled. "Oh God, who died?"

The older blonde snorted and rolled her eyes, flicking her fingers toward the empty chair across from her desk. "Sit down, Uzumaki."

Naruto relaxed a bit at the familiar address and slumped into her seat. While lately it wasn't unusual for Naruto to keep Tsunade company in the Hokage's private office, it was unusual for the girl to be summoned there for a mission assignment. Typically assignments were distributed at the main mission desk, mostly manned by chūnin with occasional supervision from the Hokage. It was rare for the Hokage to call a ninja in for a private conference regarding a mission assignment. Generally the Godaime gave out private assignments only to ANBU or to experienced jōnin when missions required more confidentiality than usual and/or the risk of compromise was particularly high.

For Naruto, it was a bizarre experience to report to the mission desk and be told that the Hokage had requested her presence for a private assignment. After the whole Madara mess two years ago, Naruto was regarded as a war hero and Tsunade's unofficial future successor, but Naruto was still only a chūnin in rank. She technically lacked the appropriate clearance for important solo missions…which was why the younger blonde was a little discombobulated as she kicked her feet, waiting for the Hokage to break the odd tension.

"Leave us, Shizune." Tsunade's brisk command startled the dark haired woman sorting through a stack of haphazardly piled papers on the leader's desk. With only a brief, inquisitive look at the pair, she scooped up a happily snuffling Ton-ton and left, closing the door behind her with a quiet wooden click.

The morning sun warmed the highest room of the Hokage Tower and cast a cheery light over the unusually peaceful atmosphere. Tsunade rested her elbows on the desktop, fingertips gently pushed together as she regarded the wary teenager sitting on the opposite side of the desk. Over the past few years, the child had repeatedly proved herself to be more than capable of accomplishing any task that the village set for her. However, she still seemed so young from the Hokage's side of the room. Still a little too young to sit in Tsunade's chair, at least. And perhaps too young for the assignment outlined in the slender scroll that Tsunade retrieved from a locked drawer. She set it down between them. It didn't contain an easy task, and while Tsunade understood the necessity of its contents, it didn't mean that she had to like it. Any of it.

With a groan, the older woman dropped her head onto her fingertips, then took a breath before channeling chakra to her palm and activating the privacy seal underneath her desk. "This calls for a drink!"

The abrupt change of demeanor, from pensive to business (well, what counted as business-like demeanor for Tsunade), set Naruto even more on edge. Tsunade happily pulled out cups and a bottle from her Shizune-proof hiding spot and poured two glasses.

Tsunade downed the entirety of hers in seconds as Naruto regarded the other cup with suspicion. "Trust me," Tsunade gasped as she pushed Naruto's glass forward and poured herself another. "You're going to want more than that in you to have this conversation."

Naruto grimaced and followed the woman's orders. While age had softened some of Naruto's natural boisterous behavior, she still wasn't one to wait patiently for too long.

"Gah—" Naruto sputtered, after attempting to down the concoction in one go, "That tastes like shit, why do you like this?"

"You don't drink this one for the flavor," Tsunade wryly advised. "You drink it for the effect."

"What effect—oh." Naruto stopped mid-sentence, an odd, floating feeling creeping upon the edge of her senses.

"That one." Tsunade refilled their drinks.

"That's really quick, Kurama usually keeps me from feeling drinks like this," Naruto mumbled. "It's kind of nice."

Tsunade's forehead crinkled in slight concern. "I should probably be worried that the fox realizes you're going to need that for this conversation, but I think I'll just be grateful for his foresight and get on with the most awkward talk that the two of us will probably ever have."

Naruto giggled uncharacteristically, and then halted, mildly horrified, looking at the cup in her hands as if it were to blame for the unusually girly response that she'd just exhibited. "Just how strong is this crap?"

"Strong enough," Tsunade replied with a bland tone, fingernails of one hand tapping erratically on her desk. Taking a deep breath, the older woman set her own glass down. Having developed a tolerance for the drink, it took quite a bit more to steady her nerves. It was probably very fortunate that the Kyūbi was apparently keeping his warden from holding her liquor or they would run out of liquid courage before it was truly needed.

Straightening, Tsunade focused on the task at hand. "Look, Naruto." Tsunade paused to make eye contact, making sure that the girl stopped entertaining thoughts about sneaking some of Tsunade's sacred stash and bribing certain ramen-stand owners into spiking the drinks of distracted unnamed teammates.

Naruto blinked in response to Tsunade's use of her first name. Generally, it meant that Tsunade was attempting to beat something into the girl's abnormally thick skull and she only barely stopped her well-conditioned flinch.

"Naruto," Tsunade continued, "before I tell you about this mission, I want you to understand that you have the right to refuse it. You don't have to accept it, and if you choose not to do so there will be absolutely no consequences, for either you or your career. Do you understand?"

Naruto frowned. "I—yes, but, isn't every mission important to the village?"

"If it wasn't important, it wouldn't be a mission," Tsunade replied, "but the primary objective of this mission doesn't have to be accomplished by you, someone else can do it."

"Then why was I asked?"

"Because," Tsunade admitted with a sigh, "certain parties believe that you are the most …suitable person to accomplish this objective and that your participation will… minimize certain unavoidable outcomes."

"Well then I'll do it—" Naruto was cut off by the smack of a scroll to the face. "Ow!"

"Don't commit to something before you even know what it is, Brat!" Tsunade snapped with a scowl on her face. "Haven't you learned that yet? I swear I ought to drag that perverted teammate of mine from his grave and demand an accounting of what he actually taught you on that 'training trip'…And pick that up," she added as an afterthought, nodding to the scroll now rolling about on the floor.

Naruto sheepishly retrieved it, but the expression soon gave way to curiosity as she considered the item in her hands. "So, what's this then?"

Tsunade watched her potential successor carefully. "You need to understand that this isn't a typical mission. Accepting it will have life-long consequences and will affect every single relationship you have in some form or fashion."

Naruto's hands stilled as blue eyes regarded brown gravely. "Sounds serious."

"Yes," Tsunade nodded, "it is, and it's not something I like to ask of any of my shinobi, but sometimes these missions do come up and, for the most part, they tend to work out in the end."

The older blonde leaned back in her chair. "That being said, this mission wasn't commissioned by your typical client. It's from the elders, most notably Homura and Koharu, who have to have their fingers in every cookie jar in the country, and their request is backed by an evaluation from the Psych Division. It is funded by the village itself."

"Eh?" Naruto was now thoroughly confused and Tsunade allowed herself some minor amusement at the expressive young woman's expense. "What the hell do they want me for?"

"It's not necessarily you they want," Tsunade explained patiently, taking the opportunity to reinforce a political lesson. "Remember, the elders look at the village as a whole, and try to determine what is in its best interests both presently and in the long run. Because of that, they take a special interest in identifying what makes our village strong and what will keep that strength for as long as possible. It's that goal, the desire to make sure that the village continues to be strong, that has the elders occasionally sanction missions like this one. They like to refer to them as 'legacy' missions," Tsunade's lips twitched, "but really, that's just a fancy name trying to hide the fact that at its heart this is a village sanctioned and funded seduction mission."

"Oh," Naruto said, eyes unnaturally wide and voice unnaturally small.

"Unfortunately, it's much more complicated, and lasts longer, than the typical seduction mission. It's not necessary for national security and it's not something we would ever accept from a client, which is why you can refuse it."

Naruto squirmed uneasily in her chair. "What…what makes it complicated?"

"Because seducing the target isn't the primary objective; rather, the main goal is conception," the Hokage said bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Naruto's squeak was met with a dry smile from Tsunade who handed the girl her glass and encouraged her to take another drink.

"The elders want to make sure that certain genetic traits stay alive in Konoha's shinobi population."

Naruto's gaze was distant and Tsunade snapped her fingers impatiently. "Naruto, pay attention."

The girl scowled. "I'm sorry, I'm just having a bit of a panic attack over the fact that your freakin' council is trying to buy my - as of yet - unplanned future offspring."

Tsunade pursed her lips. "This isn't about you having a child. Like I said, you can refuse the mission, it's about…the target…siring a child."

Naruto looked at her blankly and Tsunade put a hand to her forehead in aggravation. "Naruto. Think about…think of the Uchiha for a minute."

Instantly on guard, Naruto's entire body froze. "You want me to have the Bastard's baby!," she cried at a volume only Uzumaki women were capable of reaching, making Tsunade quite thankful for the equally unparalleled silencing seals that particular clan had taught the village.

"No! The target isn't the Uchiha, but just…consider him for a moment," the Godaime hissed through clenched teeth. "He's the last of a very powerful bloodline with a dojutsu feared and appreciated by every major power player in our world. In the past, that same dojutsu has been essential in taming out-of-control bijū that have killed thousands. What happens if that boy dies childless?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "No more sharingan?"

"Yes," the older blonde bit out.

"That doesn't seem like that big of a deal…" Naruto offered hesitantly.Or a bad thing, she thought privately.

"At first glance, perhaps not," admitted the Hokage, "But think about it on a larger scale. Think about Yamato…we shouldn't have him, his bloodline limit should have died long ago with my ancestors but due to genetic experimentation, which I certainly don't plan on encouraging and I would strongly advise you to adhere to the same policy, he's here. How essential has Yamato been in helping you maintain control when you had difficulties with the fox? What happens if he dies childless and we lose that ability again? What happens if your friends, the Nara and the Yamanaka and the Hyūga become the last of their clans and they die childless?"

"That's not going to happen." Naruto's firm declaration was met with a roll of Tsunade's eyes.

"Think hypothetically with me Naruto, please. It can take centuries for bloodline limits to develop but it took only one night to wipe out almost all of the Uchiha, didn't it? The only reason that didn't happen was because of what many would consider to be misplaced sentiment."

"That wasn't—" Naruto's eyes flashed in anger.

"I know," Tsunade said firmly, "and I pray every day that the same situation doesn't happen on either of our watches. But the fact is that these unique bloodline abilities, whether they are officially classified as bloodline limits or are just genetically inherited propensities for centuries of clan-developed techniques, are invaluable. And they are part of what makes the ninja in our village so strong," Tsunade finished tiredly.

Naruto twiddled her fingers nervously. "What about the seal and Kurama? Isn't childbirth supposed to weaken that?"

"You know that your seal is different from your mother's. Your father designed that thing to avoid the weaknesses inherent in Kushina's seal. Both Minato and Jiraiya were confident that your seal would hold up well no matter the stress on your body. We'll take precautions anyway, but the potential for an incident isn't so high that it should keep you from having children, if you want them." Tsunade stopped and looked to be considering her words for a moment before choosing to continue. "I'll go ahead and tell you that the elders are in favor of you having children sooner rather than later. They'd like to preserve the Uzumaki traits you inherited."

Naruto snorted, "That's just silly…I don't think I got half the cool stuff my Mom could do. I can't even make my hair go all scary like hers."

Tsunade's flat stare put an end to the girl's mutterings. "You inherited longevity, not immortality, brat. One day you won't be the jinchuriki any longer and hopefully we'll be able to transfer the fox…like the situation with Mito-sama and Kushina. It will be easier, and more likely to be successful, if you have direct descendants at the time who have inherited some of your Uzumaki traits."

"Huh, hadn't thought of that." Naruto blinked and Tsunade turned her eyes heavenward, although whether this was in supplication for patience or for her drink to kick in more quickly was up for debate.

The two sat in silence, each lost in their own separate thoughts, until it was broken with a sulky, "Youdon't have any children."

Tsunade graced her with a hard laugh. "That is very much on purpose…and is a private, personal matter."

Naruto looked at the woman in disbelief.

Tsunade glared back, stubbornly refusing to give ground for all of thirty seconds before she diplomatically conceded, "But as this entire conversation is private and personal I'll tell you that once upon a time I very much wanted children. I thought about them and dreamt about what they would be like…" She trailed off, then gathered herself to continue. "But when Dan died, I didn't want them anymore. I couldn't…no child I had then would live up to expectations…I would constantly be comparing…it wouldn't be fair. To anybody. So," she cleared her throat, "I have very purposefully avoided having children much to the dismay of the entire village council. And if you decide to go that route," Tsunade added with a lighter voice, "I will, of course, respect your decision, but you should be aware that even menopause won't stop the village council from getting on your case about propagating your bloodline."

Naruto winced, "That's ok…I think I want kids, someday, that is." She accompanied her words with an awkward shrug. "Did Ero-sennin have kids?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "No, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I'm sure he would have loved children, but as his doctor, and I'm only saying this because the dead don't really care about medical privileges and he probably would have told you himself if you'd asked, he couldn't. There was a mission that went badly, we were fed false information about our opponent and expected different strategies and techniques than what we wound up facing. Jiraiya took a blow that was meant for me actually and…well, I could determine the blade was poisoned, but I couldn't identify the substance and couldn't detect any immediate damage. We weren't in a place that we could stop and analyze what he'd been hit with and by the time we were the damage was irreversible."

Naruto grimaced and inspected her empty cup.

Tsunade rolled her shoulders. "That happens in our line of business, couple those kinds of circumstances with serious battle wounds for kunoichi and the short life expectancy…well, the council tends to get nervous when certain people don't reproduce at a young age. But typically," Tsunade said thoughtfully, "they don't intervene unless someone is at high risk and hits thirty with no signs of slowing down."

Naruto choked. "Thirty? Who the hell do they want me to sleep with?" she asked in a high, breathy squeak.

Tsunade pursed her lips and studied the capable young woman sitting in the chair across her desk. "Normally, I'd ask you to accept or refuse without knowing the identity of the target as this is a fairly private matter. If you refuse we'd like to preserve the mission and offer it to another without potential interference on your part."

Naruto turned a rather interesting shade of purple.

"However," Tsunade continued, leaning forward and gesturing for Naruto's empty cup so that she could refill it. "Considering that you already have a relationship with this person, I believe that it's best for you to know what you might be getting into, before you make a decision that will have permanent consequences for the rest of your life. Don't tell the elders," Tsunade added, although neither of them was sure if that last sentence was said in jest.

"So, whose kid do they want me to have then?" Naruto demanded, before taking a big gulp of liquor in preparation for the announcement.

Konoha's Godaime Hokage leaned back in her chair and intertwined her fingers, the perfect picture of serenity.

"Hatake Kakashi."

This was the first, and only time, Naruto ever actually spewed out a drink on a person in shock.