Author's Note: This will finish the Balmorra Arc.

THE SWORD

"Okay, seriously? I honestly would prefer if you didn't call me that, Doc."

"Come on sweetheart, it's a cute name."

"But it's a short joke also."

"But it's a cute short joke!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, while folding my arms. "Okay, fine. If you call me... that, then I want to give you a dorky name."

"Doc works just fine for me, darlin'."

"Yeah, but everyone calls you that. If you are just going to stick with Doc, then please just stick with Quix, alright?"

"But Quixie the Pixie is just perfect!"

Doc laughed for a good few minutes while I stood trying not to laugh. It was actually quite the ironic name. But I... well, I had a reputation to uphold! I was teased enough as it was by some of the Resistance military here.

"I should have never told you about the Force."

"C'mon, you made it sound really fascinating... for the first few minutes. You made it sound a little less like magic mumbo-jumbo. I think it's perfect. Pixie's use magic. You're small. Small but mighty?"

"Tch." I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. "As I said, if you call me that one more time, I'll have to use some of that magic mumbo-jumbo, you know, to maybe dangle you a little over a cliff."

"I thought Jedi didn't believe in vengeance?"

"I'm more warrior than Jedi, Doc." My lips quirked into a smile. "Kira can be conniving, I hear, according to Ibonar."

"So maybe you're a warrior princess?"

"Just warrior, thank you. I'll save the royalty for the Alderaan Houses."

"What, you've never wanted to be a princess?"

"Of course not. That's probably the dumbest question I've ever heard you ask." I stated firmly. I shrugged and walked over to the med-bay tent's small table. "Let's just get this over with, nicknames and teasing aside, alright? We've got to meet the other two at eighteen-hundred hours."

"Alright then Quixie," he paused to enjoy the slight, momentary quirk of my lips. "Just sit down and I'll take a look at how your shoulder's healing up."

I sat down on top of the med table and began to swing my legs a little. I took off my brown, tattered robe and folded it neatly beside me. I wasn't wearing my heavy armor at the moment, but instead a washed out, worn brown shirt. I reached up and tugged at the shirt and slid it down my left shoulder. Doc walked to the table and moved my hand away in order to look for himself.

"How's it look, Doc?"

"Looks like it's going to heal up just fine. It's starting to scab up. But there's some bruising around the backside of your shoulder." He paused and I turned to look at him. He sighed.

I raised a brow. "What?"

"How come you didn't tell me that you've been hit here in this area recently?"

"I can't prevent getting slammed into a cliff side via the Force, mind you. Some of those Sith aren't the nicest of folks."

"Could've at least put some kolto on it, so you wouldn't have to deal with any extra pain."

"Told you, Quix Fix."

"You can't always do that. As I said, you could cause permanent damage."

"Trust me, Doc, I know my body. I've been hit enough to tell different wounds apart from each other."

"Look, who's the doctor here? You or me?"

"As I said, Doc, I know my body. I know how far it can go. I didn't train for the better half of my childhood and youth to not know."

I saw him fold his arms, but his expression was difficult to discern.

"Are you really mad?" I asked him.

"You know it! You can't do that, Quix. It's my job to look after you soldiers. If all of a sudden you all stop coming in because of your 'Quix Fixes' then I'm out of a job."

"Oh, so this is about your job security?" I raised a brow and my lips twitched into a grin.

"Yeah, I guess it is, a little, but you seriously can't do that. Trust me. I've seen Jedi snap like twigs on the battlefield because they thought they could push their bodies past their limits."

"Alright, fine."

"Next time you get so much as a knee scrape or a sunburn, I want to look at it."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I get it."

Doc and I ended our conversation as he focused on applying a little kolto salve to the bruised and previously wounded areas. He then gave my shoulder a new bandage wrap. I watched him closely and something very different and unexpected happened.

"Why are you blushing, Doc?"

"Eh? I don't know what you're talking about Quixie," he stated as he tightened the bandage, causing me to wince a little.

"I'm not that blind, you know."

"I know you aren't. I've met enough Miraluka to know that."

"And how many have caught you blushing?"

"Only one."

I chuckled briefly. I then folded my legs and arms. I'll admit that in that moment I felt satisfied and proud. But then I began to think about the other time in the med-bay and the only way I could prevent myself from dwelling on it was by reciting Republic military doctrine. Meditating wouldn't help and would be too obvious.

This was ruined, however, when he began to apply the cool, smooth kolto salve on the back of my shoulder, over the bruises. He applied a little pressure and I clenched my hands. I didn't know exactly what he was doing, but all I could think of was Kira's warning: don't let Doc put you under his spell.

Was Doc really somehow Force sensitive? Because his fingers over my skin felt too pleasant to not be connected with the healing powers of the Force. It drew a few shivers down my spine, especially as the pressure increased just enough to create a mixture of pain and pleasure. A low groan slipped from my mouth. I instantly reached up and covered my mouth. My cheeks burned.

Doc started to chuckle. "Well now look who's blushing?"

"I'm not blushing, I'm not. Really, come on, don't kid yourself."

"I know what I heard and I know what I'm seeing."

"Well it wasn't what you thought it was." I told him with a frown. "And even if it was what you think it was...it was wrong of me−" I trailed off and tensed. I slid off the med-table and fixed my shirt and grabbed my robes. "Look, I can't have this conversation right now. It's not appropriate. Whatever you're doing, just stop it, alright? I have to stay focused."

"You'll be more focused if we actually talk about it, you know that, right?"

"Now's not the time. We're taking back the Arms Factory tonight. I can't be distracted... thinking about whatever you're doing. As I said, it's not appropriate, and I don't like being teased. So please just−"

"If that's what you want, then alright, I'll stop, Quix."

I sighed and frowned momentarily. I clutched my robes against my chest and fumbled with a loose strand of hair. "I'm... yes, please, that's what I want. I have to be focused. My mission is too serious."

He nodded and shrugged. "Well, I'll see you out there in a little bit."

I turned and began walking out of the med-bay tent. I glanced only once over my shoulder, to see him already back to his own task of organizing and gathering the necessary supplies we would need for infiltrating the arms factory. Before I left, I turned slightly and added, "Thanks for understanding and looking after me. I-I appreciate it."

"Of course, that's my job," he called out over his own shoulder.

Without saying anything else, I walked out of the tent.

ξ

"Congratulations on a job well done, you four. The Empire won't be settling here any longer. The Resistance has won." Warren Sedoru addressed to Ibonar, Kira, Doc, and I. "Other soldiers are gathering the prisoners of war, and we will negotiate with the Imperial Diplomatic Service to get some of our people back. And we received what we were looking for in regards to our even bigger goal of ending the Empire for good."

"Thank you Master Sedoru. We couldn't have done it without Doc," I admitted while scratching my neck.

"Yeah, maybe Doc has some actual use after all," Kira pointed out, which made me laugh.

"I think you'll be surprised of what ole Doc's capable of."

Ibonar folded his arms and gestured to Doc. "We could use a medic, you know, for our mission. Ever thought about traveling around with three Jedi?"

"That depends, d'ya mind if I wrap things up here?"

"Of course, do what you need to do." He turned to Kira. "We ought to pick up some more supplies while we're here."

Kira hesitated as she saw that I would be left with Doc. I shrugged and glanced very carefully at the outline of Doc, who left the conversation as soon as he received the okay, and busied almost immediately by helping the remaining wounded shoulders.

"Will you be alright, Quix?"

"I think I'm going to practice with the target drone for a little bit. I'll bring Doc to the shuttle when he's ready to go."

Kira and Ibonar nodded and then purchased a speeder to Bug Town. Before they hopped into the smaller version of a shuttle, they waved a temporary goodbye.

Once they were inside and up in the air, I turned and headed out of the small settlement towards the dormant training droids. I activated several of them and stood waiting as they came to life, one by one. I unsheathed my lightsaber and immediately charged towards it, saber blazing with green light. My slashes were direct and precise against the droids, with various parries and dodging on my own behalf, avoiding both blaster fire and the nick of vibro-swords. They certainly were not as violent and dangerous as the real thing, but they served as a decent enough challenge in mass numbers. Still, it didn't take much to be finished with the fight.

The point of a training droid wasn't to simulate battle perfectly, but instead for the individual to practice honing one's technique and aim. Plus, they were easy to reassemble once broken.

I repeatedly rebuilt and reset the training droids several times, till at least an hour or so passed. I switched between Shien and Shii-Cho, the defensive and the balanced, always to find different ways to refine and combine my skills for various situations.

Doc came to me while I was in the middle of battling a set of droids. Even after the small bit of dust settled, I still didn't notice him. I panted and could hardly hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I sensed him through the Force, but I did not address him. He would never know, either way. My canteen rested on top of a nearby jagged rock, and after re-sheathing my lightsaber, I walked over and grabbed the metal container in order to take a long drink. I poured a little water into my palm and then rubbed the cool water over my scorched neck. I was happy that my hair was still up, for the most part, as far as I could tell.

"That's pretty impressive."

I turned and meant to appear and sound surprised, but I sounded more annoyed than anything else. "Well, you have to be more than impressive in battle."

I heard him make a low sound of derision. "Yeah, guess so. Still, it's a pretty decent light show."

"Look," I began with one hand resting on my hip and the other rubbing my neck, "you're about to be traveling the galaxy with three Jedi. Maybe you'll get a taste of what a Jedi does in battle, what kind of decisions they have to make on the spot, and what kind of problems they go through during said battle. You call it a light show, I call it survival."

"You know I was just kidding right?"

"Well, I'm being serious." I sighed and the hand on my neck dropped to my side. "My people were nearly exterminated by the Empire. The Jedi themselves nearly hit the brink, much like the Sith themselves prior to the invasion of Coruscant. I know you don't care much for any of this, the past's the past, I agree, but there's a reason why Jedi always have to be prepared and ready. The Sith will do whatever they can to destroy the Light. Even if there's just only one of us, that's still one saber burning brightly."

"I know, Quix. Anyways," he paused and gestured to the satchel at his side and the backpack slung over his back. "I'm ready whenever you are."

I nodded and I collected the other few items I could consider my own possessions: a satchel, my canteen, my master's lightsaber hilt that I carried with me but never used, a small stash of rations, and a blanket. Without saying anything else, we headed back to town and ordered a shuttle to Bug Town. While we waited, I sat across from him in the small speeder port with my arms folded across my chest, and my gaze leveled with his own, but in a meditative trance. I didn't want to hold a conversation in that moment and time. The sun began to rise over the distant mountain tops and sunrays spilled into the valley. The fight for the Arm's Factory took all afternoon and night, into the early morning.

The awkwardness of the situation began to slowly test my patience. The speeder-port droid announced that the arriving shuttle from Bug Town would be late for us both. I groaned. I rubbed the bridge of my nose and saw that Doc still watched me. A moment later, he burst into laughter. With a heavy, exasperated sigh, I uttered, "What's so funny, huh?"

There was a slight inflection of his lips that grew into a wide grin. "Just thinking, that's all."

"And just what are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to calculate how long it'll take for me to go crazy with the three of you."

"We don't always have a stick up our asses, you know. Sometime's we'll actually crack a few jokes once and a while."

"What, are you trying to tell me that humor isn't against your code? I thought humor could lead to the Dark Side."

"Only if said humor's dark."

"Oh yeah? Give me an example."

"Kira and I may have made a few coarse remarks about how Nal Hutta must have prime real estate. How about a villa right on the edge of the toxic lake, besides the stim factories, with all the riff raff and pond scum of the Hutt cartels..."

"If it's toxic you like, sweetheart, Bug Town has some toxicity issues and the wildlife's just a party and a half."

I smirked and rolled my shoulders against the back of my small seat. Silence fell upon us both, though the air was a little lighter between us. The tide changed faster than either of us could have expected.

"What's the bed-bay like?" Doc asked nonchalantly.

I raised a brow and wasn't sure if he was serious or not.

He cleared his throat. "You know I meant med-bay."

"Apparently you didn't. Your mind seems to be thinking elsewhere."

"C'mon Quixie, you know my door and my 'bed-bay' will always be open for you."

If I had eyes, let alone lashes, I would have blinked in conjunction with my jaw dropping a little. I was stunned by his outright boldness.

"Excuse me?"

"Another slip, that's all." He reassured. I couldn't discern if he was grinning or smirking. "I meant med-bay, seriously."

"Right. I'm sure you did."

He paused and folded his arms across his chest. A low, dark chuckle filled the air. He leaned back in his own chair and stretched his longer legs out. "And what if I didn't? What would you say to that, beautiful?"

"I'd say you're already out of your mind."

"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows. I'm just throwing the offer out there. We don't have to mention it again. I know you don't like talking about that."

I unfolded my arms and leaned over into a hunched position, with one hands on my knee and the other propping up my chin. My robes opened slightly and the silver metal glimmered in the sunlight. It was getting hot with the brightness of the sun burning down on me. My face felt warm. My shoulders slouched and I relaxed a little. I still hesitated and contemplated whether or not I should tempt the idea, let alone his own fire.

"I...I uh, I don't know." I sighed. "Maybe... maybe I ought to talk about that."

"Well what about it?"

"I just... I've just heard some things, Doc, over the years with the Order. Attachment can hurt more than it can help someone, sometimes. The Order says it's a path to the Dark Side. For reproductive purposes, especially, a child can make it even more dangerous."

Doc laughed. For several good minutes. I didn't exactly understand, but he seemed to find something about what I said extremely hilarious. Even when he tried to respond, he kept laughing all over again, and he could hardly finish a sentence in this manner.

"Oh Quixie, no." He stressed the 'o' in no. "I'm not looking to be a father any time soon."

"But that's what coitus is for," I explained, "coitus is for having children, and with coitus comes a bond with the Force. Having coitus means having children, which means being inactive in the Order, which means forming multiple attachments that can potentially ruin said Jedi. It means the Order is down one sword, one shield, one warrior, one healer, one medic, one knowledge-seeker−do you see what I mean? We're already spread so thin. It's our job to protect everyone else."

"No, no, no, on the bit about sex being for kids. Whatever they taught you in your Order, that's wrong. People don't have sex for having kids. It's recreational. For relaxing. Decompressing. De-stressing. Sometimes it can be committal in an actual loving relationship or sometimes it can just be for the reasons I said before. It doesn't have to be this complicated thing that some people make it out to be. It doesn't have to be this deep, complex mess. Sex can just be casual."

"But that's," I wondered what the appropriate word could be, "silly, still. Coitus still creates a bond through the Force."

"Well, for me, there isn't any fancy bond." He paused, chuckled (he was getting a good laugh out of this), and shook his head while grinning. "And don't call it coitus, will you? Sex works just fine."

"Coitus is just the scientific term they used in the Order."

"They actually teach you about that?"

"Well, of course. I told you, attachment is a serious thing for a Jedi. It can't be taken lightly."

"So how do you describe your relationship with Ibonar and Kira?"
"They're fellow Jedi of my Order. There's some bonds you can't avoid. Like the master-padawan bond. You can't prevent that. In a sense, the master is the surrogate parent of the student. Of course, not in every case... But their... relationship, I suppose, is none of my business."

"What did your Order say about casual sex?"

"They never discussed casual coitus."

"Sex. Just call it sex."

"Why don't you use the appropriate scientific term, as a doctor?"

"Because sometimes you have to take off the student of science hat and put on your normal folk hat. I'm a doctor and a man."

"You mean you use different terms in different situations."

"Correct." He paused. "Look, it doesn't have to be this big deal. Just think about it, alright? A noncommittal relationship."

I leaned a little ways away from him in order to sit upright again. I reached out through the Force and looked for the sincerity in his words. He sounded genuine. I knew he wasn't interested in something long term, something that meant commitment.

"I'll admit how I'm attracted to you."

"See? That's the first step towards fixing the problem and finding the solution. Admitting you have said problem."

"But as... ah, stated, I'm not as experienced as you, by far."

Through my Force Sight, I noticed his jaw flex in a manner I recognized and appreciated: a smile, not a grin.

"Sweetheart, beautiful, Quixie, Quix, Rina. Don't you think I've already figured that out and processed that?"

"But I'm... I'm not ready for coit−" I frowned and he placed a hand on my own. "−Sex." I finished.

"No attachments, right?"

"That would be most preferable."

"I understand that you're not there yet. Don't think it would be a good idea anyways for you to jump into that. We'll take it slow, sort of."

I thought about standing up and pacing, but I sat rooted to my chair. I blushed profusely. I reached up and covered the lower half of my face with my palm, whilst rubbing the bridge of my nose with two fingers. I felt the metal strip over my nose that connected the two eye-socket covers. "I just feel ridiculous." I uttered. "I've just never been touched in that way, never been spoken to in this manner. I just... I just can't get distracted."

"Well, honey, Doc'll make sure you're plenty focused. You think on it, alright?"

"I'll...think about it. Maybe meditate on it."

"Don't overanalyze the body. Think of it as two people crossing paths, hitting it off initially, and going from there."

"We've only known each other for a couple of months, I hardly know you, Doc, you hardly know me−We're just," I paused and felt around for something to touch in a moment such as this, where touch sometimes calmed me down, since the other senses could not. I found his forearm. "I don't know anything about this. It feels wrong to be taking something as serious as this so lightly."

"Well, one, the fact that we know so little about each other can be a good thing. Think on it. When you start to get to know someone, you get attached, right?"

"That's usually what happens."

"Well so we'll keep it professional for work, and if you decide to try this out, we'll keep it professional also. Doc'll take care of you, but he knows how to take care of himself, too."

"Alright... I'll think on it."

The shuttle arrived only a few minutes later onto the speeder pad and we boarded it with a couple of other passengers, who arrived last minute. It was a small, cramped room for traveling passengers, but Doc and I managed to find some space beside another Jedi, a male Twi'lek with the outline of long lekku, dressed in heavy, draping robes that I could only imagine were brutal in the Tatooine sun.

"Traveling to Bug Town?" I asked him.

"Yes, yes indeed. Delivering new readings on toxicity levels to headquarters. Need to see how wildlife is responding to the slow decline, hopefully."

"Ah, I see. How long have you been doing your research?"

"Only couple months. Been busy helping the Resistance retake Sobrik. Finally ours." He paused. "You Jedi who helped take Balmorran Arms Factory, yes?"

"My comrades and I did, yes."

"Yes, yes, very good news for Resistance. Make good strides to reclaiming planet after so long. Balmorra be with the Republic soon, you think so?"

"I hope things continue to go in that direction."

We exchanged names at that point.

"Oh! You padawan of Master Solverion, yes, correct? How is she?"

I sobered very quickly. I frowned and shook my head. "My master's no longer with us."

The Twi'lek's jaw clenched. "Oh, my apologies. That's correct. I remember hearing rumors about your promotion to knighthood. From work on Balmorra?"

"Yes." I curtly replied. I folded my legs and leaned back in the shuttle's seat for I was less interested in this conversation at this point. I didn't like talking about my master because I missed her so much. I missed her guidance. "As with all death, my master's intertwined with the Force."

"Yes, yes, very true." The shuttle sharply turned and the Twi'lek made a strangled noise of distaste. "Dislike shuttle rides, make me little queasy. Prefer ground travel."

I nodded. Doc told him to breathe evenly, which he did. He thanked Doc and then looked back towards me.

"Remember when you were young padawan, I do, on Tython. Fought well for someone so young. Balmorra difficult place to be sent as padawan, however."

"Oh yeah?" Doc chimed in. "When were you on Balmorra?"

"Four years ago."

"How old were you?"

"Eighteen."

"So you're twenty-two now?"

"I'll be twenty-two in a month."

"Where did the Order send you next?" The other Jedi asked.

"Alderaan for the other two years."

"Ah, the other war-torn planet."

I grunted a sound of agreement and knowing.

Now, as I look back on my life, after always hearing mention after mention of my time on Balmorra and Alderaan, I think of all the other various padawans who have been or who will be sent to ravaged, destroyed, toxic, war-torn planets like those two. I wonder about whether or not their lives will be sacrificed in the name of stopping the advance of the Sith or if they'll die as playthings in the hands of the Sith Empire's own apprentices and masters. I know that I likely would have died like so many other young padawans had I not had my physical strength on my side as well as my own added power from the Force. I consider myself fortunate. My survival on those front lines humbled me because of this.

I saw students of the Force torn down. Young and bright, but still not a match for the Sith or the other Imperials. I humbled myself before others after that because I realized just how easily life can end and the Force can begin. There may be no 'death' for the Jedi, but as a living creature who can be stripped of the Force, I feel the pain of losing a comrade, a friend, someone who I only recognized, but maybe never knew, someone I've never met before, but have heard of, or someone I'll never know or never meet.

So I didn't like talking about the past. I would have grown bitter ad it not been for Doc in the end.

When the shuttle arrived, we exchanged a quick, quiet goodbye and a "May the Force be with you," to the other Twi'lek Jedi, and we went our separate ways. Doc and I began to head to the other, much larger shuttle the orbital station in silence, which always ultimately unsettled him. Up ahead we saw that the shuttle had no arrived yet. We walked slow in order to let time stop.

"I had no idea you'd been on Balmorra before."

"It was so long ago." I shrugged. "I really don't like talking about it."

"You fought with the Resistance, didn't you?"

"Yes," I said sternly, with a small inflection of a warning. "But I was stationed inside of the Balmorran Arms Factory, with other Republic soldiers. If you knew anything about Grand Marshall Cheketta, you'd know why I don't like talking about it."

"I remember him. He commanded the secret Republic troops here. I was around four years ago on Balmorra too."

"More like troops to the slaughter," my hands tightened into fists. "That man had no idea how to hold off an invading army that was three times the size of his own. He didn't even fight on the frontlines. He had little idea about tactical strategy, offensive and defensive maneuvers, though let's be quite honest, a good defensive plan could have saved the Republic and Empire four years of a stalemate. He relied on the Jedi and his ego too much. We're nothing better or worse than the soldiers who carry a blaster, in my opinion. On the battlefield, a Jedi may have the Force, but I have seen gun-slinging blaster firing men and women who know what they're doing in their own trade and technique, and it's almost thrilling to watch them. My life has been saved by then before, not ust on Balmorra, but on Alderaan as well. We're equals. The Republic army is full of heroes.

"Cheketta ran away with two Jedi protecting him. Can you believe that? He retreated while the rest of us held the front line for the people who needed to be evacuated, soldiers, workers, civilians, families, children, the wounded, the sick, escaped slaves, Force-sensitives − all refugees who wanted to get out while they could, with this one chance. We had a couple of shuttles. You know what happened? He ordered for those shuttles to land with no cover fire, with no protection. They landed in a mine field, essentially. A trap set by Darth Lachris, the old governor of Balmorra, as I'm sure you know. The Empire used orbital strikes from their own cruisers and our own weapons, the ones they turned against us, and destroyed all but one shuttle, the one that was not as full and still grounded. The others were shot down, full, in the air. There was another much smaller shuttle, but guess who's that was?" I couldn't hear myself talking. I was angry and my voice quaked as I spoke, as if I was clenching and unclenching each word desperately. "The people couldn't retreat, but he decided that he would. I don't even know how those two Jedi could stand there protecting him up until a lone Sith found him. That Sith killed Cheketta and the two Jedi."

"I know this story, Quix."

"But do you know the stories of those who died? Do you? The men and women who fought to hold our position against the Empire? The ones who actually tried to save as many lives as possible? What about them? Who tells their story? They wouldn't leave the line. Hold the line, they said. Save as many lives as we can. I stood beside them, the only remaining Jedi in the arms factory. Do you know how hard it was to tell myself to not give into my fear and shove the other remaining soldiers onto the only shuttle that survived the bombardment, to get them out while there was still time? I couldn't. We had a line to hold. So many were shot down by the Sith and the Imperials. Eventually, those of us still standing and fighting knew that we either had to retreat or face death or imprisonment by the Imps. I ordered the four troopers to get out while I covered them while we all ran. We barely made it onto the already crammed shuttle to the orbital station."

"You went back to the Order after that?"

"Well, no, not immediately. I went with the other soldiers to the Republic's smaller satellite station that was about a thousand parsecs away from the planet. There, we received medical aide and I at least helped arrange for civilian refugees to get to another safe planet. I went back to Tython after that, to give a status report as well as receive my reassignment."

"They sent you to Alderaan then."

"Well, my master had joined the Force prior to the battle for the arms factory. I won't go into the specifics of how I know that, but I felt the moment she died and joined the Force, through the Force itself. She died on Alderaan." I paused, a moment or so of silence. I clasped my hands in front of me and exhaled. "The Council was worried about my mental health after losing my master and what had happened on Balmorra. I reassured them with the help of the surviving Republic soldiers whom I had fought besides, for they contacted them for their opinion. The Republic soldiers supported my case enough to get me recognized by the Republic Army. I have a couple of commendations that humble me, but I was just doing my job. The Council promoted me to the rank of knight and they sent me to Alderaan with the encouragement and request of the Republic Army. They wanted me to lead troops. I eventually accepted.

"I understand the Order's worries as a whole though. I meditated for a long time about what happened on Balmorra, because I was trying to reconcile the pain of losing so many lives, civilian and soldier. At first I did want vengeance to a degree, mostly upon the Sith, for taking my master and taking the lives of my comrades. It takes discipline to reign in those feelings, Doc."

"I don't know how you Jedi do it honestly."

"Sometimes I don't know either. It just happens."

"Are emotions really that dangerous for you all?"

"Extremely at times." I frowned. "Jedi aren't emotionless. That's a stereotype. You know we aren't. You've met three of us who can be very expressive." I stared off in the distance, loosening my use of Force Sight, just to fall into a little darkness. "You have to be careful in battle." I quietly added. "You have the adrenaline of combat but also the chance of making blind decisions. Had I ordered for those soldiers to return to the shuttle sooner, more lives would have been lost, as the line would have broken much quicker than it did. I also would have likely died. I owe those soldiers who held the line with me so much."

Doc placed a hand on my shoulder. It was the gesture between two people who had seen war and all its gorey details.

"I understand, Quix."

"I know you do."

"I still owe you one. For saving my own hide."

"Doc, that kiss was more than enough."

"I ought to take you out for dinner and drinks."

"Oh yeah? And when are we going to have the free time to do that?"

"We'll find a time, eventually. Just don't let me forget, alright? And don't you forget about it either."

I shrugged and his hand fell away from my shoulder.

"Alright, there's the shuttle. You ready to head off?"

I nodded and followed him up the ramp leading to the shuttle loading area. Once inside this much roomier shuttle that filled up faster than the other, Doc stretched out his legs and eventually fell asleep while I dozed off. The thrusters ignited with a strong burst of energy and then we were off, zooming through the atmosphere, up and up, until I no longer could see the surface of the planet due to clouds. My head rested against the metal plated wall and watched the sky fade into dark space. Soon enough, my dozing off fell into sleep after seventy-two hours of being awake.