Okayyyy, next chapter! After this, I think I'll work on Peace Never Waver…

Yosh: here is the disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I only own this plot and my characters, Kei and…there's only Kei. Poor girl, she's all alone.

"Hey, I'm going to go scout ahead," I told them, jumping down from Itachi's back. I didn't wait for an answer before I began sprinting ahead of them.

Heading back to the base, I kept a vigilant eye out for unknown chakra. I made it back to the base with no trouble, and went to find Pein.

Deciding that at this time of day, he'd probably be in his office, I quickly headed in that direction, only to be stopped by my favorite Jashinist. "Hey, bitch, where are the fucking others? Where's that fucking newbie?" he asked, standing in front of me.

I lowered my head, hiding my smirk. "I…I was just about to go report to leader-sama," I said in a small voice. "Deidara—the one who we were sent to bring into the Akatsuki—he was stronger than we imagined, and…and…" I took a deep shuttering breath. "He didn't want to join, and…when we tried to make him, he…he…"

"What did he fucking do, bitch?" Hidan demanded, impatient.

"He kill them," I whispered, feigning-mortification. "I…I had enough time to get away, but…but he killed Itachi and Sasori and…and Kisame…"

Hidan went unusually quiet before breaking into hysterical laughter. "I knew they'd get their overconfident asses kicked one day," he barked. "I only wish I was there to finish them off."

I hiccupped, hiding my gasp. Jeez, I knew Hidan wasn't particularly fond of any of them, but seriously? He's laughing! "I have to go report to Leader-sama."

I walked by him, my smirk hidden by my straight black hair. Ha, just wait until they come back and I tell them! Oh, I can't wait to see Hidan's face when they come through the door! I thought, smiling deviously.

Knocking on Leader-sama's office door, I waited for permission to enter. Hearing Pein say, "Come in," I walked in, bowing in respect.

"Leader-sama," I greeted.

"Where are the others?" he questioned, not looking up from some papers.

""I went ahead, scouting," I told him. "Oh, and I told Hidan that Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame were killed when, in reality, they should be here within the hour."

He nodded. "Very good. What is the status of the newest member?"

"He was…reluctant to join, to say the least," I said. "So Itachi made him a deal. If he could beat Itachi, then we would leave and not bother him anymore. But he was easily defeated by Itachi and, so he's a member."

"Well, not officially."

"What do you mean, Leader-sama?" I asked, curious.

"He'll have to pass the same test that all the newest members have to pass to become official members."

"You mean the battle?"

He nodded. "But since you said he fought Itachi and lost, I suppose-"

"If you don't mind me saying," I interrupted. "Itachi had an unfair advantage."

"How so?"

"Itachi knew Deidara's moves, styles, attacks and relatively all his information while Deidara only knew his opponent's name," I said. "Besides, I think Itachi kind of cheated. He put Deidara under his genjutsu and then made the deal. I think it was an unfair victory."

"Very well," Pein nodded in agreement. "When they returned, the five of you will rest and tomorrow you will fight Deidara."

"Hmm…"

"What is troubling you?"

"I feel that I can easily defeat him-"

"First, never underestimate your opponent. You will fight him at your fullest potential," Pein told me. "Go rest."

"Yes, Leader-sama," I nodded, bowing once more before exiting the room, passing Konan on my way out.

I went upstairs to take a shower, knowing it would be a while before the rest gets here. Yes! I can finally take a shower without Kisame yelling at me to hurry up!

Instantly in a happier mood, I started to sing while I washed my hair. For people who don't know me, this will take a while. My hair is part of the reason why I take such long showers.

I don't know how much time passes before I heard the door of the base open. I smirked, going into Itachi's mind.

Mind if I chill here for a bit? I asked him.

Hn. Was his reply.

I smirked, same old Itachi.

"Where's Kei?" Sasori demanded of Pein who had met them at the door.

"Kei?" he asked. "I haven't seen her."

Ooooh, Pein you liar!

"She said she was going ahead to scout," Sasori growled.

"Perhaps she didn't go ahead to scout," Itachi said.

"What do you mean?" Sasori demanded. "Are you trying to imply that she's a traitor?"

"No, I'm just saying that she didn't go ahead to scout."

"She went ahead to get to the shower first," Kisame growled. "Damn, guess I'm taking a cold shower…" he sighed in defeat.

I laughed, turning off the water. I began drying myself off. I got dressed and semi-dried my hair.

After I was all perfect, I went downstairs and found my team—and Deidara—waiting for me in the living room. "Hey, what's up?" I grinned at Kisame. "Shower's open."

He groaned. "I have to wait for the hot water now don't I?" he replied, crashing on the couch and spreading out on it.

I nodded. "I guess so," I turned to Deidara. "Hey, guess what?"

He looked at me. "What, un?"

"We're…" I paused. "Hold that thought a sec. Hidan! Hidan, GET YOUR WORTHLESS JASHINIST ASS DOWN HERE!" I yelled.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked in a bored tone.

"Well, see I told him that Deidara killed you three," I shrugged. "And he got all laugh happy, and I want to see his face when he sees you alive."

Itachi nodded while Sasori grunted in annoyance and Kisame had a look of anger on his face. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BITCH!" Hidan shouted, coming down the stairs.

"I have to show you something, you might want to see it!"

He stopped at the base of the stairs, looking around. "IS IT SOME FUCKING NACHOS? BECAUSE IF IT'S NOT, YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!"

He froze, looking around. "What are you fuckers doing here? And…who's the shrimp?"

"Shrimp?" I asked, looking around. "I see no shrimp. Are you talking about Kisame? Because, if you are, I think you need to relearn the differences between Sharks and Shrimps."

"How are you fucking alive?" he demanded.

"What do you mean?" Itachi asked calmly.

"The bitch told me that you three died," he growled. "She fucking said that that newbie killed you off."

"The newbie meaning Deidara?" Kisame asked.

"Who the fuck else? So I take it the blond kid is 'Deidara,'" he asked making air quotations.

The four of us nodded. "Deidara, this is Hidan," I told our newest member. "Hidan, this is Deidara."

"He looks like a fucking wimp," Hidan growled scornfully.

"Hey, don't think lowly of me, un," Deidara growled back. "I'll teach you a lesson with-"

"Deidara," I interrupted. "Ignore Hidan. He's a douchebag-"

"Kei, watch your language," Itachi reprimanded me.

"And you, Hidan, stop picking fights with the newbies," I scolded him. "Jashin-sama came to me last night in my sleep and told me to make you stop being rude to your teammates. He also told me that he wanted you to do my laundry, but that's beside the point…"

Pein cleared his throat. "Deidara, it has come to my attention that you were reluctant to accept our offer?" he asked.

Deidara nodded.

"Well, I am your leader for the time being," he continued. "And due to your reluctance to join, you will fight Kei tomorrow at dawn-"

"Dawn," I interrupted. "Dawn? Why dawn? I want my sleep!"

Pein sighed, shaking his head. "Fine, noon-"

"I eat at noon," I interrupted again, earning a glare from Pein.

"What time would be most convenient for you?" he asked me scowling.

"You're asking me to decide? You know I can't make a decision to save my life…"

"Well, you were contradicting everything I said so…" Pein gestured impatiently.

"Umm…how about four…oh three in the afternoon?"

"Four oh three?" Pein asked. "Why must you pick random numbers?"

"Because it's fun to make your life difficult," I shrugged.

"So it's decided, four oh three pm-"

"Wait, what's at four oh three pm?" I asked, feigning confusion.

Pein sighed. "Your fight with Deidara-"

"Why am I fighting Deidara again?"

"Because he insulted your chibi," Pein lied. My eyes widened in disbelief.

"What?" I turned to the blond. "Is this true? What the hell, man! I thought you were my friend! How could I trust you as a partner if you-"

"Kei," Konan interrupted. "He didn't insult me."

"Oh. Pein, you are a liar!" I accused, glaring at him. "I'm sorry, Deidara," I leaned in whispering in Konan's ear. "Thank god you stopped me, I was about to insult his art."

She nodded in response. "Leader-sama," I said, looking at him. he turned to me. "Would Deidara be sleeping in Sasori and my room?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yes," he replied after a few minutes.

"Oh," I said, my mouth forming an 'o'.

"Is there a problem?"

I shook my head, no. "It's only four thirty," Kisame commented.

"That's less than twenty-four hours before I fight Deidara," I added. "Well, bye."

I didn't wait for anyone to respond as I left to my room. Shilling on Sasori's bed while I read is by far my favorite pastime here. I like reading Sasori's notes about his human puppets, but he usually yells at me when he catches me reading them.

I like rooming with Sasori. He understands me a little, and he knows when I like to be alone. He usually picks up on my moods quite well and doesn't push me to talk about things when I don't want to. The only thing that bugs me is since he doesn't need sleep, he stays up all night, working on his puppets.

I sat in the room alone and reading for a couple hours before the door opened, revealing Sasori and Deidara. "What are you reading, Kei?" Sasori growled out in warning. I flipped over on his bed, hiding the papers underneath his pillow with my mad awesome ninja skillz!

"Nothing!" I grinned. "You know I can't read…"

"You're one of the best readers here," he retorted. I looked down, guiltily.

"Okay, I might've been reading your papers that you always yell at me when I read," I looked up innocently, smiling.

He sighed as he entered the room. "I can't wait to get out of Hiruko," Sasori said. Deidara was looking at him confusedly while I looked at him suspiciously. "Do you mind?" Sasori demanded. "You don't see me looking at the two of you while you change!"

I ducked my head down, embarrassed. "Well, it's not like you're naked in there," I murmured.

"You know what?" he said, putting Hiruko in the corner.

"What?" I looked at him expectantly.

"You and the brat can share a bed," Sasori told me.

"The brat being…Deidara?" Sasori nodded. "Whoa! No! what if he tries something, Sasori? What kind of big brother are you?"

"Better you than me," he said, shrugging.

"I should've let the little kids eat you," I mumbled. "Okay, Deidara, this is your side of the bed and this is mine-"

"Katsu," Sasori addressed me. "That's my bed."

I blushed. "Oh, right. Why can't Deidara take your bed? It's not like you sleep anyway…"

He laughed in response. "If I lose my virginity because of this…" I threatened.

"If you have a child, I'd better be the godfather-"

"Oh, trust me, you won't be! It's be Itachi because he's a better big brother than you!" I stuck my tongue out at him. noticing Deidara standing awkwardly in the corner, I motioned him forward.

"Don't worry, un. I won't try anything, yeah."

"I know," I grinned. "Hey, can you do me a favor? I need you to carry me to our bed."

He tilted his head in confusion. "But it's only two feet away, un?"

"Sasori gets mad at me when I jump on the bed," I shrugged. I lifted my arms up. "Please?"

"I don't think so, un," he shook his head, lying down on my side of the bed.

I made this weird squawking noise. "No! that's my side! Sasori tell him!"

"Why don't you get your favorite big brother to do it?"

"Meanie!" I stuck my tongue out at him, clambering off the bed and pushing Deidara onto the other side. Lying down I pouted, turning to the blond. "My side! Mine!" and poked him.

He rolled his one visible eye and turned over so that his back was to me.

I pouted. "Goodnight, Deidara! Goodnight, Sasori!"

"Goodnight, un…"

"GOODNIGHT, ITACHI!" I yelled to Itachi in the room next door.

I heard a faint "Hn." In reply.

"GOODNIGHT, KISAME! GOODNIGHT, HIDAN! GOODNIGHT-"

"shut up," Sasori growled.

"Tobi!"

I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

Wow! I finished the second chapter! Yosh! I am so excited! Next chapter's the fight scene, and then there's a time skip to when Deidara's inventing his eyepiece or something…

Please review! I like those!

Until next time, friends!

Vee