Fandom: FMA
Title: A Second Chance

Pairings: Elricest, OC/Al

Rating: NC 17
Warnings: Incest, angst, violence, yaoi, lemon

Author's Notes: AU, OC

Word Count: 21, 554
Status: Incomplete

Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad. Not mine, so sad.

Summary: When Al smiled the same smile he used to give him, when he reached out to Sam the way he used to reach out to him, when his lips met the other man's, Ed felt a shock of jealousy that gave way to nausea.

A Second Chance

Chapter 2

Ed did not return to work the following day, nor the next one. Five days later, Mustang finally came down to his house, and found a pale young man wandering a dirty, smelly house with nothing to eat in it. Scattered around the house were fresh fast food wrappers. At least he hadn't been starving himself.

"When do you plan to return to work, Fullmetal?" Unfortunately, Ed's assets were great enough that the boy wouldn't have to work for years if he didn't want to. Only by threatening him with sanctions would Mustang be able to force him back, and he knew that was not a good idea at all.

Ed shrugged silently, a battered stuffed toy under his arm.

Mustang sighed. "Look. I'll put you in for a leave of absence, so you can get your head together. And, while you've been… wallowing in angst… I've had a little detective work done." Truthfully, Mustang had known all along where Al was and how he was doing. He'd kept a very close eye on the boy, for his own peace of mind. But he hadn't told Ed that. "Al's alive and well. As far as I can ascertain, he's completely severed all contacts with people from your shared life. He has not seen fit to contact the Rockbells, nor anyone the two of you knew in the military. He did stay for about a week with the Tringhams, but then left, and they have not heard from him since." Mustang took an envelope out of his pocket and slid it across the table towards the boy. "I want you to think long and hard about what you plan to do with this information. I know you are going to do what you are going to do, but I would like to remind you that I tried to warn you about abandoning your brother the way you did. And so I am going to warn you again. Leave him alone. He has a nice job, a nice home, and a nice boyfriend. If he wanted you to find him, he would have contacted us here at HQ, or anyone the two of you used to know. The fact that he has not, shows he has no desire to take up the old threads of life. Leave him be. He's happy. Well, as happy as he can be right now. Resign yourself to the fact your little family is no more. Make new friends. Find a lover. Make a life for yourself. Make a new family. You're young, gorgeous, and rich. It shouldn't be too hard. You know where you stand with your brother now. You know he's not wasting away in this house waiting for you to come home. Leave him be. Start over."

Ed sat at the table for a long time after Mustang finally left. He stared at the envelope like it was either a snake that would bite him, or his salvation. Mustang was wrong. It wouldn't be easy. Not making friends, for the friends he'd made with Al had been because of his brother, not him. It had been Al that always smoothed over his brother's abrasive personality and forged bonds of friendship. Nor finding a lover. He'd tried that, for months, and it had been a bust. The kisses never felt right, the sex hadn't been satisfying, the relationship had always left much to be desired, on both sides. And he'd tried to make a life for himself without Al. And had been miserable the whole time, both because what he'd done to Al had grown on him day by day, week by week, and month by month since Al hung up on him in tears, agony in his sweet and vulnerable voice, and because he missed him. He missed Al. All those years, they'd always been together, always worked side by side, always had each other's back. Oh, if only he'd gently let his brother down when Al had turned to him for intimacy. But he'd been weak. His brother's mouth had been hot and sweet, his brother's hands had been warm and pleasurable. It was his own growing sense of dissatisfaction that had made him rethink what he and Al had begun since Al's restoration. He hadn't wanted to settle down in a little house with a brother that loved him more than he should have. He'd wanted adventure, travel, excitement. Not until long after he'd burned his bridges with his brother did he realize that the adventure had been satisfying because it had been with Al. That travel alone was very different then a shared journey with Al. That the excitement had been lost when he'd broken his brother's spirit so callously.

Was Mustang right? Did Al no longer want to be beside him? Would Al want to at least stay his brother, even if it meant not being his lover? Did Al really not want anything to do with anything they had once shared; places, people, each other? He was vaguely uneasy that Mustang was right. He'd treated his brother abominably. Once he'd fixed his first mistake, he went and made another, somehow of even more titanic proportions. Yeah, Al had died, then been condemned to live life as a hollow unfeeling shell, but at least he'd had a brother that loved him, or at least professed to. Would Al want to have a brother that would do all that, then abandon him like he did? Would Al want anything to do with the brother that stole his heart, then threw it away so cruelly? And the fact that Al had a nice boyfriend, well, that was a good sign, wasn't it? He wasn't wasting away for want of him, as Mustang had said. Maybe it would be possible to be his brother once more, now that he wouldn't have to be Al's lover anymore. No matter how lovely it had been in the beginning. But not if his actions had made Al never want to see him again.

But Ed was miserable without his brother. He had to know if he'd lost everything by what he'd done to his brother. He had to know if he had a chance at a life with him again. At the very least, he had to see for himself that Al was safe and happy. Maybe then, Ed wouldn't sit miserable and alone in a house he'd taught himself to hate because of his brother's kisses.

It had come as a dismaying shock to find that Al really was happy. Or, as Mustang said, as happy as a slain, condemned, and rejected young man could possibly be. Oh, he did not want to Al to be unhappy or miserable, but it came as a shock to him after how close they'd always been. Hell, he'd wanted nothing more than to be free of Al's kisses and caresses, and still couldn't get over the loss of his brother. He would never forget his first sight of Al. He'd just come from his job at a repair shop, walking through the strange streets with ease, finding a little outdoor café where he'd ordered a hot chocolate. Al had looked around, tapping long fingers on the tabletop. He'd grown in the year since Ed had seen him. His luxurious honey blond hair was longer, still tied back in a ponytail. His face had filled out some, and he was more beautiful than ever, somehow maintaining that delicate angelic face without losing any masculinity. He was dressed casually, not in the sort of jumpsuit most repairmen wore. And he was looking around with an air of expectation.

And in a short while, he found out why. A handsome young man, with dark hair and a dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose hurried up. Al stood up with a soft smile, reaching out a hand. This then must be the boyfriend he'd read about. Samuel James was his name. When Sam took Al's hand, leaned up slightly and kissed his brother, Ed felt something shift inside him. He had been relieved to hear Al found someone else. Thought it would make their coming back together easier. He wouldn't have to worry about rebuffing Al's advances anymore and risk hurting him more. But when Al smiled the same smile he used to give him, when he reached out to Sam the way he used to reach out to him, when his lips met the other man's he felt a shock of jealousy that gave way to nausea. He managed to control himself and move closer, the better to hear what they were talking about.

"Hey, baby," Al said gently, lacing his fingers with Sam's, sitting down and waving confidently to a waitress. "Liquid candy, right?" With a laugh, Al ordered a large coffee, lots of cream, lots of caramel, and a generous dollop of whipped cream.

He turned to smile at his boyfriend, then frowned. "What's wrong, Sam? Is Nick bothering you again? If so…"

"No, Al…" Sam ducked his head. "He's here. Here in town. Not only did I catch the rumors down at the bar, I saw him. He walked right past the window."

"Who?" Al's brow ruffled. "Do you need me to straighten someone out?"

Sam gave an affectionate sneer. "Not a chance. You may be an almighty alchemist and deadly fighter, but I hold my own. No… The Fullmetal Alchemist."

Ed swore silently. He should have ditched his coat, come incognito.

Al froze. "Fuck!"

Ed winced. So often he'd used profanity around Al, and never thought anything about it. But Al had never indulged in that particular vice before. It was horrible to hear that word coming from that sweet mouth.

"Do you think he's looking for you?" There was a thread of anger in Sam's voice.

Al shook his head. "No, trust me, I am the very last person Ed would want to see. No, more likely he's here on some mission. Or just passing through." He looked thoughtful. "Look, I know we were supposed to meet for lunch, but I think I'd better go back to work. It would never do for him to run into me here on the streets. He might think I was looking for him." Al got up with a sigh. "Dammit. I was so looking forward to today. Our dates off, baby. Come by my place tonight. We'll just stay in tonight. The play will still be on by the time he leaves, hopefully."

"I don't care," there was a touch of wildness in Sam's eyes and voice. "I think you're wrong. I think he's finally come for you. I knew he would. I don't want to lose you, baby."

Al leaned down, and pulled Sam to his feet, and put his arms around him. "Don't be silly. I told you, Ed and I are not brothers anymore. Because he wanted it that way. Trust me, he's not here for me. I just don't want to see him. It… will hurt."

Al's words did not reassure his lover. Sam watched him with sad eyes. "Can I come to work with you? We can finish our lunch there. I have a feeling…." But he did not go on.

"Sam, honey, you are worrying for nothing. Trust me on this. The Fullmetal Alchemist has more important things on his mind than me, trust me. You'll see. And of course you can finish lunch with me at the shop. Look, I'm gonna head back." He dug money out of his pocket. "Get me my usual, and meet me back there. And if you like, you can come pick me up. We can go to my place together. I…" Al blushed. "I'd planned to ask you to stay the night again."

"Put your money away, goofball. Lunch is on me today. And you don't have to ask. I love you. I'd move in with you, if you'd let me." Sam reached up to cup Al's face tenderly.

Al looked away uncomfortably.

"Listen, baby," Sam went on, his voice low but intense. "I'd never leave you like he did. You don't have to be afraid. I'm here for the duration. I'm not ashamed of our love. I'm proud of it. I'm… honored. I love you."

Al's face twisted for a moment, then smoothed out in a smile. "I love you too, Sam. I'm… I'm…"

"You're not ready. Okay. I can wait. Like I said, I'm here for the duration." Sam kissed him fast but hard. "Go back to the shop. I'll be there before you have a chance to miss me."

Al smiled and then kissed Sam this time, long and slow and sweet. "I do love you, baby. Please know that. If you hadn't come along when you did…." Al touched noses.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam grinned, rubbing noses back. "You'd have been fine. Now go, before he sees you."

Al just shook his head, and dived back into the crowd. Sam turned, hailed the waitress again, but Ed was already moving away, following his brother feeling shaken.

He realized with a shock that he hated Sam. Hated him with a passion. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn't help it. And that shocked him. He'd almost destroyed his brother because he didn't want to be his lover anymore. But seeing Sam kiss his brother, heard his words of love, he'd been enraged. Al was his! Al had been his first! What the hell was wrong with him? And what Sam had said had lanced right through his heart. Sam wouldn't leave him like he did. Sam wasn't ashamed of his love. He was proud of it. And Ed… Ed had left him. Abandoned him for over a year. Ed had been ashamed of their incestuous love. Ashamed of his lover. Ashamed of his brother. Ashamed of Al. Oh, he felt ashamed now, but not for Al. For himself. What a hypocrite he was. What a fool. He'd taken the honor of Al's love, threw it back in his face, and walked away. Only now did he realize that magnitude of his folly. He couldn't make friends, he couldn't find a lover, couldn't make a life for himself, because he'd been in love with Al all along. He'd just let the silly dictates of society overrule him. Let the stupid notion that loving Al, being loved by him, was wrong, dirty, shameful. When all along, it had been something beautiful, something wonderful, something to be proud of. Sam, damn his miserable hide, was in the right of it. And Ed grieved for what he'd thrown away, what he'd hurt, what he'd lost through his foolish pride and arrogance. As if anyone was better than Al, more worthy, more wonderful. What had he done??