Fandom: FMA
Title: Phoenix Rising
Characters: Ed, Al, Roy

Pairings: Elricest
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, slight incest, slight yaoi, attempted suicide, violence

Author's Notes: AU

Word Count: 11,865
Status: Incomplete
Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad. Not mine, so sad.

Summary: Alphonse Elric was dead, Ed had killed him, and from the bitter ashes of that crime, the killing machine known as the Soul Alchemist had been born. The Soul Alchemist; Amestris' deadly secret weapon of war. Alphonse Elric.

PHOENIX RISING

Chapter 2

It was late by the time he reached HQ. The admin was deserted. His watch got him in, but since Mustang had gone home for the day, he would have to go to the man's house. Mustang would tell him… what there was to be told. Ed moved numbly, unable to feel anything. A distant part of him thought it was ironic, that this was how Al must have felt for so long. He stopped, and collapsed in the street, weeping hopelessly. Al had been confused by his new body and all the hormones that came with it. He'd turned to his beloved brother in his confusion, and that brother had rejected him, called him sick and disgusting, and abandoned him. And Al… Al had wept in pain and bewilderment, thinking what Ed had said was true. Thinking he deserved to die for loving his brother too much. Al had… killed himself.

Finally, he picked himself up, dried his eyes wearily, and went to find Mustang. Once he had, and learned all there was to know, he would do the only thing he could. Since he couldn't beg Al's forgiveness in this life, he would follow his little brother into death, and beg it there.

He knocked on the great double doors that served as Mustang's front door. It was a faint, hollow sound, rather like his own heart. It took a moment, then the door opened, and a tall thin balding man opened the door.

The butler stared down at the disheveled travel stained young man, and his lips thinned. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," Ed said with a dull voice. "You can tell General Mustang that the Fullmetal Alchemist is here to see him."

"A moment." The doors closed again.

There was a long silence. Ed, who would normally have fidgeted at the delay, simply stood there, silent and still.

Suddenly the door was flung open, and Ed found himself confronted with an enraged Havoc.

"You little bastard!" The man snarled. "What the hell do you want? Get the fuck out of here."

A white-gloved hand descended on Havoc's shoulder, and the man calmed himself with difficulty. "Jean. Go back inside. See to Al. I will deal with this."

Havoc gave Ed one last venomous glare, and vanished back inside.

"Fullmetal. You're back." Mustang's voice was cool and his face wary. "I'm not so sure it's a good idea for you to see your brother. He's very… fragile right now."

"He's alive?" Ed almost screamed in relief and gratitude. "Al's still alive?"

Mustang looked nonplussed, then his face smoothed out. "I must remember to tell Mrs. Franklin that Alphonse survived," the man said as if to himself.

Ed shoved past him, running into Mustang's palatial home. "Al! Al! Where are you, Al?"

Mustang tried to catch him, but the boy was too agile. He ran into the living room, where he found Havoc leaping up and placing himself before the couch. There was a scrambling behind him, a rusty sob, and suddenly Al leapt out from behind Havoc.

Al was bone thin, his face pale and drawn, his eyes dark and shadowed. Bandages swathed both arms from hand to elbow. He looked at Ed in distress, made a funny little choking noise, and staggered, as fast as he could away from his brother, tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Niisan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please. I'm so sorry… Oh, Niisan, I'm sorry…" It was a faint, hoarse litany as the younger boy stumbled, sick and disoriented into a corner, overturning a delicate table, the vase there smashing to the ground in a thousand pieces. Al stared at it with hollow eyes, and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir," and then was trying to squeeze himself into the corner of the room, bandaged hands pressed against the wall as he tried to escape, his frantic scrabbling leaving smears of blood on the wall. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." The boy was whimpering in fright and agony.

"Al," Ed whispered, stricken at the cringing wraith his brother had become. "Al."

"Get the fuck out!" Snarled Havoc, trying to take the boy into his arms. But Al struggled, crying almost hysterically, and the bandages were leaking red. "Get the fuck out now! Can't you see you're scaring him?"

Al didn't calm down until Mustang moved smoothly past the other man, and took Al into his arms. Al quieted down, clinging to the man. "I'm sorry, sir," he moaned softly. "I broke your vase, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Mustang stroked Al's hair tenderly, tears in his dark eyes. "Shhh, Alphonse, it's fine. I can buy another. Shhh… Calm down, sweetheart. You're hurting yourself again. Please, take a deep breath."

Ed watched Al's hands gripping the back of Mustang's white shirt with desperation. Bright streaks of blood stained the pristine fabric.

"Is he gone? Is he gone?" Al was whimpering softly. "Please say he's gone. I… I can't face him, after what I've done to him. Is he gone?"

Ed was suddenly jerked out of the living room and into a side hall. He'd missed the look Mustang had given Havoc.

"Are you happy now?" Havoc hissed poisonously. "Aren't you pleased by your handiwork? Why did you come back? Al was getting better. He smiled today. Now he'll try to kill himself again. Why couldn't it have been you?"

If Ed was dismayed by Havoc's hatred, he didn't show it. Indeed, the man couldn't possibly hate Ed more than Ed hated himself. He remembered Al's face, shy and vulnerably hopeful as he kissed his brother, just after his delicious laughter had rung out at something Ed had said to him as they lay in the bed together. That day, Al had been strong and tall and confident. And with a look and a word, Ed had utterly destroyed him.

Havoc shoved Ed out of sight when Mustang came out of the living room, carrying a boy weeping so hopelessly it was as if his heart was breaking; but Ed had already broken it a week before. Then Havoc jerked him to follow the two down the hallway, and wait out there when Mustang carried the boy into a bedroom and shut the door. It seemed an eternity before Mustang came out, having changed his shirt and was wiping blood off his hands.

"He only tore a few stitches. I repaired them, and he's sedated now, but I want you to sit with him, Jean. Keep an eye on him. I'm not going to lose him now."

Havoc nodded and slipped quietly into the bedroom.

"Now you see, Fullmetal," Mustang said coldly. "I told you it wasn't a good idea. But once more, your feelings have to come first, no matter what it might cost your brother. I should have let you think he was really dead. It would have been better for Alphonse if you thought that.

"He… he slit his wrists?" Ed's voice was as ashen as his face. "He tried to kill himself."

"Yes. When we took him from the house, we thought he was dead. I rushed… god how I rushed. I was almost too late. I was afraid he would do something like this. When he called me to say goodbye… I knew." Mustang swallowed audibly. "I want you to go away, Fullmetal. You see Alphonse is alive. I will not let the two of you meet until he's stronger. I will fix what you have broken."

"But… he's my brother," Ed said feebly. "I love…"

"Shut your mouth." And Mustang's voice was beyond cold and moving into glacial. "Don't say that to me. Al told me what he did. How he kissed you. How he thought you felt the same for him. To be truthful, I did too. After all these years, I thought you loved him that way too. You certainly acted as if you did. You certainly fooled me, and I am an expert in this field. I am asking you to leave now, Fullmetal. I think it might be better if we transferred you to another CO. I do not think our working together anymore is a good idea."

"But I do love him! Just… just… I never thought…."

"Silence, Fullmetal. This is all your doing. You acted as if you were in love with your brother all these years, and I wasn't the only one to notice either. No wonder Al thought you loved him the way he loved you. He was honest with his feelings when all along you weren't. Have you ever been honest about anything, Edward? Why did you bring his body back, lay in bed with him, when neither of you were the children you used to be? You lay with him like a lover, and then slapped him down like a dog when he took you at face value. Then you walked away from him. Not two weeks after everything the both of you suffered to get where you are." He looked coldly at Ed's mostly restored body. "At least you have been completely restored. I wish you happiness, Fullmetal. But I can't be your Commanding Officer anymore. I can't stand the sight of you. When you brought Al back, I watched… and it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. It restored my faith in humanity, you and your brother's love. I confess I was jealous. I wanted him to look at me the way he did you. That beautiful wild creature you brought back from the gate. I was jealous of you. Well, he's mine now, and I will fix what you tried to destroy. Alphonse is mine now, and I will give him the love you pretended to."

Ed's hands turned to fists at his sides. "He's my brother, you bastard. You can't have him. I won't let you hurt him with your womanizing ways and…"

Mustang laughed mirthlessly. "Me, hurt him? I'm in love with your brother, Fullmetal. I have been since the moment he first opened his beautiful eyes right in that damn living room back there." Mustang's hand trembled as he pointed down the hall. "You lied to your brother when you pretended to love him like you did. You lied to everyone. And I thought… now that he had his body back, you would claim him as you acted as if you wanted to. But since you didn't, since you did everything in your power to destroy the sweetest, most beautiful, purest creature to ever grace this god forsaken planet, I will claim him. He's mine now. Get the hell out of my house, Fullmetal, and never come back. If Al ever wants to see you again, we will discuss it. But until then, get the fuck out and don't come back."