Later That Night

Sometime in the night, after David had finally dozed off to sleep, he was startled awake. He wasn't sure by what at first until he heard something and sat straight up. He remembered that sound - Maddie. Without a second thought, he ran from the room and right into her office.

He found her just as he'd expected - in the middle of a nightmare. She was lying on her couch with her coat draped over her. As she thrashed, she called to him and his heart leapt in his chest.

Carefully, he shook her. "Maddie, wake up."

"David," she cried.

"You're dreaming, Maddie. Wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open and her crying stopped. For a moment, she just laid there cradled in David's arms and staring up at him.

"You okay?"

She nodded seeming dazed.

"You were screaming," he said looking down at her trembling hands. "Maddie."

She looked into his eyes and she said, "I was so scared."

Without hesitation, David drew her into his arms and she began to cry. He didn't let go of her and wouldn't until she told him to. Feeling her so close to him was like the gates of heaven had opened. Nothing had ever felt so good to him. "What happened," he asked quietly.

She didn't answer him. Instead she said, "Don't let go."

"I won't," and he held her tighter. He ran his hand over her hair and savored the silky feeling of it against his skin.

He was too busy taking advantage of this moment to care how long they stayed in the embrace. Not until his knees began to ache. "Maddie, I…"

"Stay with me," she said in such a whisper he wasn't sure he'd heard her right. "Please, just hold me."

He didn't hesitate as he took a seat on the couch and pulled her to him. She leaned her head against his chest and let out a sigh. "Want to talk about it?" She shook her head. "It might help."

"I can't," she said letting a few more tears fall down her cheek.

David resolved to let the issue go and just be her shoulder to cry on if that's what she needed. So for several minutes, the two sat in silence in Maddie's darkened office. David began to run his fingers through her hair and she loved the feeling of his protective arms so much, she wished the snow would keep on falling. Because as soon as it all melted, they'd have to return to their regular lives and what would that mean for them?

As she lay against his chest, she listened to the beating of his heart. She could hear it pounding and knew he was just as nervous as she was, but perhaps for a different reason. Did he still love her?

The thought terrified her, but she knew she couldn't expect anything more from him until she gave something of herself. As she laid there in the silence, she decided it was what she had to do.

"I've been having this recurring dream," she began. David stopped running his fingers through her hair and looked down at her. He didn't want to stop her if she was ready to talk, so he didn't speak, move or even breathe. "It usually doesn't make sense. Sometimes I'm here. Sometimes I'm at home. And then other times I'm somewhere like at the grocery store or the mall. I'm going about my day when I hear a crying that I can't find. No matter what I do I can't find it." When David didn't reply, she looked up at him. "What do you think that means?"

Psychologically he didn't know what that meant, but he knew it was about the baby. Grief maybe? "I don't know, but you don't have to worry. You're not alone."

Maddie wanted to cry, but she stayed strong. Instead she stretched out onto the couch and hoped David would follow suit. He didn't. He just kept a hold on her to let her know he was still there. She snuggled close to him savoring the smell of his aftershave that still lingered despite his five o'clock shadow. The smell of fabric softener could still be detected on the cotton shirt he wore and she wondered if he did his own laundry or if he sent everything to the cleaners along with his suits.

She hadn't realized it, but she'd been smiling. "What's on your mind, Blondie," David asked catching the smile.

"Nothing."

"That doesn't look like nothing," he said with a hint of smile.

"Just thinking," she said with a hint of a smile.

"About what," he asked and she knew he wasn't going to let up until she told him something. She certainly couldn't tell him what she had been thinking…about him lying in her bed, his aftershave on her sheets, in the early morning, asleep…no, she couldn't tell him that. What could she say instead? She quickly searched for something.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier."

"Which part?"

"The skateboard part," she said with a smile. "I can't quite imagine it."

He grinned and replied, "Different time."

"Did you have the whole look too," she asked teasingly.

He played along, "Yep. I had an earring, spiky hair, the clothes, the whole deal. My father called me a hoodlum," and he chuckled.

"And did you look like this when you drove the delivery truck?"

"No, he made me change. He let me keep the earring as long as it wasn't obvious. I had these tacky blue coveralls as a uniform, so the only thing I had to do was cut my hair."

Maddie tried to imagine him with long hair just as the kids in her school had worn theirs. She just couldn't picture it and she let out a laugh. "Sorry, can't picture that either." He gave her a look of confusion and she answered, "You with long hair."

He gave a cocky grin and said, "I can picture you."

This stopped her dead and she asked, "What do you mean?"

"I bet I can guess what you were like."

"Really?"

"Yep. I bet you wore your hair long, wore the trendy clothes, hung out with the popular kids…cheerleader?"

"Well, you're part right," she answered looking down at his chest.

"Okay, tell me."

She didn't really want to, but she knew she had to tell him something. "Well, appearance-wise just about right. I let my hair grow long my freshman year. Because of my modeling, I got a lot of free clothes, so I was 'in fashion' for every season. Everything else you couldn't have been further than the truth." She paused and then continued, "I wasn't popular. I wasn't a cheerleader. I wasn't even Homecoming Queen."

"Why not?"

"The kids thought I was a snob. And those who did try and be my friend were only in it for themselves…clothes, parties, celebrities…none of which I had access too." David didn't reply to this, so she continued, "I mean I had a small group of friends. Mostly people I'd known since grade school. Some even kindergarten."

"Do you know them now?"

"No, not anymore. We all drifted apart."

David wanted to ask about Sam, but he didn't dare. He didn't want to spoil the moment and things were going so well. He'd even pulled himself up onto the couch next to her and now he was holding her against him.

"What about you? Do you still know anyone from high school?"

"No. Most are still in Philly. I run into them sometimes when I visit my father."

The question lingered on the tip of Maddie's tongue, but she dared not ask it. How often do you visit your father? From the last time he'd visited, she guessed not often since he hadn't seen him in almost three years then.

"That was a crazy time," Maddie replied absently. "Protests, sit-ins, picketing…hard to believe we ever got through it."

David laid there in thought and then asked, "You ever joined in on a sit-in?"

Maddie snickered and replied, "No way. My father would have killed me. I did participate in a protest, though. It was a peaceful protest. Handing out buttons, fliers, that sort of thing."

"Protesting what," he asked trying to imagine the glamour girl picketing and protesting like the kids he remembered in high school.

"War. What else," she said with a chuckle. "It was the sixties."

It was only times like this that their age different made any difference at all. That five years especially within the four years of high school would have made a difference. As he had entered high school, she had just entering college. His mind had wandered so far that he hadn't even realized how long the pause in conversation had been.

"What are you thinking, David?"

"Nothing. Just imagining you in bell-bottoms," and he grinned at her.

She let herself smile and he marveled at how that simple act still brightened an otherwise dark time. Quickly he switched gears, "So you dodged my question earlier."

"What's that?"

"Did you have a car?" Maddie was silent. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Yeah, I did. She was my pride and joy…"

"She? You gave your car a gender?"

"I named her Betsy," she said with a chuckle.

"You named your car," David asked in astonishment.

"It was the first big thing I ever actually owned. My dad gave it to me for my 16th birthday, but he made me a deal to go with it. I had to keep my grades up and pay for my own gas and insurance. My dad was no pansy. Definitely didn't give me an inch. There's no way I would have made it otherwise."

"What do you mean?"

"In modeling, I saw other girls flounder. They're parents were push-overs or just didn't care and they got into some pretty bad stuff. I may have been given a lot of opportunities, but I also saw a lot of scary things. You know that old line about 'the casting couch?'"

David was silent a moment and then said, "Someone…," he stammered. "…to you…"

"Not me," she was quick to correct. "But I heard about it. 14 and 15 year old girls. Who didn't know any better. Who'd go along with anything if they thought it would get them what they wanted. I know the only reason it didn't happen to me is because one of my parents was always with me."

"You're mom can be intimidating if she wants to be, I bet."

Maddie smiled. "You're not kidding. There was this one particular time. We were in New York for some photo shoot. It was just the photographer, me and my mother. My mom left the room for no more than a minute which was plenty of time for that creep to proposition me. He wanted me to take my clothes off…if I wanted a little extra money. I was 16."

David suddenly felt very protective and tightened his hold on her. "What happened?"

"My mother walked in as he was asking me this. She heard enough to grab me and march me out of there. I don't think I've given them enough credit for all they've done for me."

"I'm sure they know, Maddie."

"I'm not so sure," she replied quietly.

Maddie suddenly cuddled up closer to him and he felt a chill rush over him. "You cold," he asked.

"A little," she replied and he realized the room did feel cooler than it had earlier.

"I'll turn up the thermostat," he said getting up from the couch and crossing the room. He walked to a nearby lamp to turn it on, but found it didn't work. He flicked the switch a couple of times before he gave up. "Uh oh," he said.

He looked out the window and then walked over to where the snow continued to fall. It wasn't as heavy as before. "It looks like at least four blocks blacked out," he said. When he turned back to her, she was sitting on the edge of the couch. "It will probably get a lot colder in here."

"What about those blankets," Maddie asked.

"I think we still have them…," he trailed off in thought.

"I have some candles in my desk," and she headed to her desk while David left to find the blankets.

He returned a few minutes later with a couple of the plaid throws they had stuck at the back of the supply closet years ago. "They're not much, but it couldn't hurt."

Maddie pulled out a box of votive candles in an array of colors. She laid them out on her desk and then said, "Do we have any juice glasses?"

David laid the blankets on an arm of the sofa and said, "Maybe. Why?"

"Well, we have to put the candles in something."

David returned a minute or two later with a few coffee mugs and a couple of glasses cradled in his arms. "Couldn't find anything else," he said setting them carefully on her desk.

Maddie went to work plopping a candle into each cup and replied, "This will work fine."

David watched her for a moment and then said, "You seem to have done this before."

"It seemed whenever there was a thunder storm when I was little, our power would go out. Mom would light some candles and we'd roast marshmallows in front of the fire."

He watched her smiling at the memory and couldn't help but smile too. He also couldn't even express how much he wished they'd been held up in her house in front of that big fireplace of hers…all weekend.

Quickly he shook the thought from his head and offered a memory of his own. "My mom loved s'mores."

Maddie looked up in surprise at the mention of his mother. He never talked about her. "Did you go on camping trips?"

"Not a whole lot, but she loved them. Richie and I hated them, but we could never tell her that. She loved to make them for us after school."

"Never heard of it for an after school snack."

David chuckled and looked down at one of the candles as it burned from where Maddie had lit it from the match she still held. "Neither had I. She used to make them for my friends too and they loved it. 'Come to Dave's house. His mom makes smores!'" He laughed at the memory and Maddie remained quiet just letting him talk.

David looked back up at her now just smiling. His eyes still danced at the memories he shared. "Let me guess…your mom made chocolate chip cookies."

Maddie smiled and said, "You're really close. Snicker doodles."

"A lady after my own heart," he said with an approving smile.

"But everything she made was great. Pies, cakes, cookies, Thanksgiving dinner, even her meatloaf was to die for."

Suddenly David longed to have been invited to one of those Hayes family get-togethers. Sitting next to Maddie, sharing in food and conversation, maybe holding her hand…as if they were together.

"I loved her pot roast," Maddie added with a smile. She started to set up candles around the room. "What was your favorite meal?"

David was reluctant to answer, but the question had come so effortlessly from her, he couldn't disappoint. "Well, like any other Philly boy, I loved cheese steaks. But my mom made a great Thanksgiving dinner. She made the best stuffing. Never could get that recipe quite right."

Maddie thought back to those meals he had cooked for her. He knew his way around a kitchen better than any man she had ever known. She gave him a smile to show she was listening.

"We always had pumpkin pie and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Mom always wanted to please everyone - Dad didn't like pumpkin pie, but Richie and I did. I always had to have both." He smiled at the memories he was sharing - Maddie being the only person he thought he could ever share this with. Then he looked around the room at the soft glow the candles gave off. As she took position next to him, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "You still cold?"

"It is getting colder in here, but the building should hold some of the heat for the night. I'm sure they'll have it fixed tomorrow."

He didn't want it fixed tomorrow. He really didn't care to ever get out of this snow storm. It could fall continuously for all he cared. Being there with Maddie was all that mattered to him.

"Do you have a sweater or anything?"

"Actually, I do. I think," she said retreating to her bathroom.

When she returned, she had a wool cardigan in a deep royal blue hanging over her arm. "I got lucky," she started, but stopped when she noticed David was gone.

The next second, he returned wearing his blue dress shirt which was only slightly dry. He had left it unbuttoned to reveal the t-shirt he wore underneath. "I looked, but this was all I had in my office."

"Found a sweater. Maybe I can find something else…," she replied ready to head back to her bathroom.

"It's okay. We'll survive."

She pulled on the sweater and draped it around herself. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Sure," he replied. He grabbed the blankets from the couch and said, "Besides we can conserve body heat this way." Maddie sent him an uncertain look. "Or I could go back to my office."

"No, please stay."

He looked over at her seeing she meant it and smiled. "Okay." He fluffed out one of the blankets and then turned back to her, "Resume position?"

She smiled and advanced toward him until she was next to him. They both sat on the couch where David took special care to drape one blanket around Maddie's shoulders. "I'm find, David. You need this more than I do."

He stretched out along the couch and said, "Come here," and she laid down against him just as they'd done before. Then he draped the other blanket over both of them. Maddie shifted herself until she was comfortable lying against him with her head resting next to his shoulder. As she settled into a position, he wrapped an arm around her and rested it at the small of her back.

Maddie closed her eyes and just savored the moment. "Comfortable," he asked.

"Uh huh," she said finally feeling relaxed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose," she answered unsure of the question.

"What were we fighting about today?"

She was silent as she mulled over the day's events. "You mean what were we REALLY fighting about?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I knew."

"I mean, I understand you were upset. I shouldn't have gone about that undercover job the way I did. I admit that…"

"You don't have to explain, David. I wasn't completely innocent either. I did make that phone call that tipped off his wife that eventually ended up with him coming into the office. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"So, what happens?"

"He already said he'd only pay for the photos, so we're fine there. I guess we just eat the rest."

"You're really fine. After the screaming match this morning."

"I got over it."

"When?"

She was silent wanting to say why she'd reconsidered her position on this issue. Seeing that snow falling and having no idea where he had gone had terrified her. She imagined him in every possible situation - lying hurt in the car on the side of the road, in a ditch, or even out in the freezing cold. That was ridiculous, but it had crossed her mind. "This afternoon."

"What changed?"

"Me." He gave her a look that questioned her and she said, "I gave it some thought and I overreacted. I know I do that a lot."

David raised his hand and rested it on the top of her head. "I'm used to it," he replied with a smile.

She gave a tentative smile and said, "Why do we argue so much, David?"

"Because we're good at it," he replied with a grin.

"That's not what I mean."

"I don't know," he said. Because we like making up?

"I know it must seem like I'm an incredibly rigid person. Like I enjoy disagreeing. Like I…"

"Maddie," he interrupted. "I don't think that. Maybe at first, but not anymore."

She looked up at him and asked, "What changed?"

"Me. You. Us." They were silent as the conversation set in.

"So, you don't think I'm unreasonable?"

"Sometimes. Don't you ever find me unreasonable?"

"Ridiculous, maybe," she said with a chuckle and continued, "But not necessarily unreasonable."

"What do you base this on," he asked with a grin.

Maddie considered and replied, "You're ideas…an office sauna?"

"Hey, that was a great idea," he defended.

"We need computers."

"They can write instead of type. Won't hurt 'em."

"The answer is still no."

"Awww and the kids were so psyched."

Maddie shook her head and there was silence again. "You warm enough," he asked in a hushed voice. A voice she remembered from those nights they'd spent together. He used to ask her the same question as they'd laid together after making love. She shivered at the memory and he said, "You are cold."

As he shifted the blanket over her, she said, "I'm fine. Really. Just caught a chill."

He smoothed the blankets over her and ran his hand over her hair a few times before resting it on her back. For several long moments they laid there deep in their own thoughts. Maddie couldn't stop thinking about that month they were together. As much as she'd said they only had a physical relationship, she knew now it was more than that. It had been love that had brought them together that night. Maybe they did have incredible chemistry which had led to a moment of fireworks that left them both dazed. The underlying truth was that they had more than that. Much more and it only took five years to figure it out.

She broke the silence with, "Do you think we'll ever be the same?"

The question seemed to come from nowhere and it jarred David. So much so that they sat in silence before he replied. "As in what?"

"The way we used to be?"

"What are you asking, Maddie?"

She raised up on one elbow and looked at him. "Did we ruin everything?"

"How?"

"By sleeping together."

"I like to think it brought us closer," and he ran his fingers through her hair.

She looked down at his chest and said, "But it didn't."

"Okay, so maybe we made a few missteps along the way. Doesn't mean we can't move on."

"Maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's too late to fix it."

"Is that what you want?" She didn't answer him. "Maddie, what do you want?"

I want you. "I want to have what I used to have."

"You want what? Your life before Sawyer stole it…" She shook her head. "…Life when I just mildly tormented you?" She smiled and shook her head. "Then what?"

"I want…I want what we used to have. When it seemed we were going toward something."

She had never spoken these feelings before and she wasn't exactly sure how it was going to come out. All she knew was if nothing was done, they would eventually drift apart. She didn't think she could survive without him.

"Maddie," he began and then began to search for the right words. She looked up at him and he continued, "I've wanted that for so long."

Nothing was said as they stared at each other. Both searching for the sign they both wanted to see. Seeing all she needed to see, Maddie leaned over and pressed her lips to his. Their first kiss in over a year was not the urgent, intensity either had pictured. It wasn't the kiss they both dreamed about - it was gentle and full of the love they both shared. In that moment, they both knew that what they had shared wasn't gone.

When they pulled away from each other, there was a moment of awkwardness. Maddie didn't move and neither did David - both just stared at each other. Both fearing the other would deny it hadn't even happened. Instead David cracked a grin which made Maddie smile. Nothing needed to be said and she laid her head back against his chest. They laid in complete silence for an unknown period of time while they allowed their minds to wander.

Maddie became restless at the continuing questions that ran through her head. She knew there was one more thing they had to straighten out and she'd have to tell him. No matter how he fought her, she had to get it out in the open.

"David, I have to tell you something," Maddie said not looking up at him.

He cupped his hand behind her head and said, "What?" Feeling more than a little nervous at what she so desperately needed to tell him.

"I know it's probably not the greatest time to tell you this, but I have to." She paused as she absently toyed with the buttons on his shirt. And as she did this, David couldn't let his mind rest wondering if he should be reading anything into this act…yearning, longing…he knew he felt those things for her. After the kiss they had just shared, did she want to go further that evening? Could it be she wanted him as much as he wanted her? He shoved the thoughts away as she continued. "I wish I could tell you nothing happened between me and Sam…"

David didn't want to have this conversation and he interrupted, "Maddie, don't…"

"I have to, David." She sat up and met his gaze. Both giving themselves up by the look in their eyes - both were terrified. "Once," was all she said. It was so quiet, he wasn't sure he'd heard it.

"What?"

"Once. It was just once. In a weak moment. After he had taken you home, I gave into him." She ducked her head and he didn't reply. "I thought…I hoped…," she tried to continue. "We were together everyday for a month. I hoped…"

"It only takes one, Maddie," David said evenly. Still feeling regret and uncertainty at why she was telling him this.

"That's why you have to know, it wasn't."

"Wasn't what," he asked confused.

"The baby wasn't Sam's."

The shock registering on his face told Maddie he had had no idea until that moment. She was sure he had known at the hospital and leading up to the impending birth. He had to have known…but there was that look. He had been completely oblivious.

"What?"

"The baby was yours, David."

"How…"

"The sonogram was wrong."

And a period of silence filled the room. Both registering this information. Both digesting. Both figuring out the next step.

"I gave him your name," she said not meeting his gaze.

He lifted her chin so she would look at him and he asked, "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I could barely face it myself. The burial was so simple. No ceremony, no mourners. I wanted it done. I wanted to move on."

"Did you?"

She shook her head before her answer, "No." Tears welled in her eyes. "I want to, David. I want to so badly it hurts. I still hear cries when there aren't any. I remember how it felt to carry him under my heart. I can still smell the paint in the nursery…And I don't want to remember." She broke into sobs.

He drew her closer again and held her as he felt tears of his own shed for the baby. The little boy they'd both lost…their little boy.

"Where's he buried, Maddie?"

The question lingered for a moment and she couldn't believe she'd never told him. "St. Mary's. You said once you attended mass there," and she wiped her tears from her cheek.

"Maddie, how could you do all this alone?"

"I didn't think I had a choice."

"You could have told me," he said in absolute sincerity. "I couldn't figure out why you shut me out."

"I didn't want to. But I did. I shut everyone out." Maddie was silent a moment and then said, "I need to tell you something else too."

"Not more," he replied leaning his head back against the cushion. "I don't think I can take much more."

"I was never with Walter."

The statement startled him and all he did was gape. "What?"

"We never…consummated our marriage."

He continued to gape and then said, "But you shared a house together."

"Barely a week."

"And you shared a bed."

"Barely a week," she repeated. "And that's all we did. Share a bed."

David continued his silence rolling over the words in his head until he asked, "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I just think you should know?"

"Why?"

"Well, the baby is obvious."

"That's not what I mean. Why do you think you have to tell me about the rest of it?"

Because I love you. "Because it felt like a betrayal and I know that's how you felt. Maybe it was all a cop-out. I was terrified of actually carrying Sam's child. I didn't want it to be his. If I married someone else, maybe you'd forget about me. I know it's stupid. I wasn't rational. I blame myself, sleep deprivation and Vegas."

This made David crack a smile. "Vegas I'll give you."

"I want you to know I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry. What we had…"

David stopped her and said, "I wasn't fair to you either. I shouldn't have pushed you so much. I thought that was what you needed."

"David, it was. I was a coward. I was the one who wouldn't commit."

"Listen to me, Maddie. I was a coward too. When you left, I tried to forget you. Erase you from my mind."

"How?"

"Well…," he began not sure he wanted to really tell her, yet knowing he had to. If they were going to give up their secrets tonight, he had to. "Bert and I went to this bar and there was this woman there…" He looked to Maddie to see her reaction, but it hadn't changed. There wasn't shock or disappointment. "The next morning I found out you were pregnant and I felt like a first class jerk. I shouldn't have done it, Maddie. I thought you were gone. I didn't know about you…about the baby…"

"Because I didn't let you know. Look at us. How much more of a mess could we be?"

"Wait. You're not mad?"

"Mad? Not completely. Jealous, sure. Not betrayed. I did it to you too. Making you think I'd run off with this total stranger and that I'd slept with him without even knowing him. Who's the bigger jerk?"

Both looked at each other unsure of the answer.

Before David could stop himself he said, "I've never stopped caring about you, Maddie. Never. Not even when you were in Chicago. Not even when you had married someone else."

She wanted him to say it. Wanted to hear those words again. Those words he'd said during those nights they'd spent together. He'd murmured them into her ear after they'd made love. Before, during, after…while sipping a glass of wine…he'd told her over and over and yet she hadn't really believe him. And she had never said it to him.

"I thought about you every second," she whispered hoping she wouldn't cry again. "I wanted you with me." Just like I want you now.

"I should have gone," he said almost thinking out loud.

"I would have pushed you away," she said sadly.

"Would you have," he asked tilting her head up to look into her eyes.

For a moment, she fought the urge to tell him what was in her heart. Then it all came loose like a dam bursting. "No. That's what I was afraid of."

"What about now," he asked still looking into her eyes.

"I don't want to. Not anymore." He leaned his head down to kiss her cheek and she softened against him. When he brought his mouth down on hers, she felt a million circuits bursting inside her. This wasn't the gentle kiss from before. This was intense, passionate and full of the need they both felt to be together. It was never like this with anyone else. Not with Sam or any of her other boyfriends. No one made her feel as good as David did just by the way he smiled at her or by a peck on the cheek. If he walked out of her life tomorrow, she felt as if a part of her would die. Maybe not, but she knew she would never be the same.

When David broke away from the kiss and started with a cascade of kisses along her neck. Maddie whispered the words she'd longed to tell David since their first night together, "I love you, David."

Immediately upon hearing those words, he stopped. He raised his head and looked at her in hopeful shock. "What did you say?"

"I love you. I have since our first date. Remember that?"

"Yeah. The symphony. It was horrible."

"The first part wasn't," she reminded him. He was still just staring at her and she continued, "I did when we made love. I could never give myself to someone I didn't love. And I did give myself to you. And that's what hurt so much. To knew I still loved you and thought I couldn't do a thing about it."

"Maddie…," he said nearly speechless. "I told you that first night and every night we were together…I've never stopped."

Nothing more needed to be said. Maddie initiated first brining him into a kiss that was deep and passionate. It wasn't long before this escaladed into more than kissing. They had pulled off the extra clothing they had added to keep warm in the chilly room. They were no longer cold and were shedding clothing as fast as they could. Both were in such a foggy state of passion that they hadn't thought of the most important thing. That was until David had a moment of clarity.

"Maddie, hold on a second." She had been trailing kisses along his neck and he hated to interrupt her, but he couldn't put this out of his mind. Not again.

"What," she mumbled.

"Are you…uh…do you have…you know." He swallowed and blurted out, afraid he would lose his nerve to ask, "Are you still on the pill."

This realization flashed across her face into what looked like disappointment. "No. I never went back on," and she looked down at his bare chest knowing the reality. "Do you have…"

"No," he answered quickly.

The room became silent and Maddie said, "I can't believe you of all people wouldn't keep one on hand."

It was meant as a joke to lighten the mood, but David replied with the truth. "Why would I? The only woman I wanted didn't seem to want me."

The comment stung a moment, but Maddie understood. "I didn't think you wanted me."

"How could you think that?"

"Why would you?"

"Baby," he said, "You're all I ever thought about. I couldn't get you out of my mind."

That endearment brought back those memories of that time together. Lying there with him, she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it all before - what they had really shared beyond the physical. She was just too stubborn and blind to see it. She leaned down and kissed his bare chest and whispered, "I was so blind. Can you ever forgive me?"

David grinned down at her and said, "Do you really have to ask," and he gently ran his fingers through her hair as she looked back up at him.

Maddie smiled hopefully and asked, "What now?"

"We could get some sleep."

"I can't believe you don't have any in your office," she said as an afterthought.

"Not since we christened my desk, Sweetheart," he said with a grin. She returned the grin at the memory of that evening. It had been a Friday and the employees had gone home. David had been in his office when Maddie had come in to ask about a receipt. One minute she was asking about a mysterious charge from a gas station outside of town and the next they were locked in an embrace that could be described only as HOT. In one motion, David had cleared the top of his desk. Without hesitation, he'd lifted her onto his desk, but hadn't joined her until he'd grabbed something from a paper sack in his desk drawer. As with everything she'd experienced with David, this was another first. And not just the act and the location. She'd never felt that urgency before. The need to touch him and be touched by him. He was like a drug and she couldn't get enough of him.

David broke her thoughts, "We can wait a day, can't we?"

Maddie snuggled against him and said, "Can you?"

"I'll wait as long as it takes."