The Great Plot Bunny Caper
Part 2 – Those are not Jelly Beans!
Carter burst through the barracks door, panting. "Colonel Hogan," he said breathlessly. "They are clearing out all the prisoners from barracks 15. It looks like Hochstetter is going to be putting something in there."
Hogan sighed. "Oh great, just what we need," he said. "It probably has something to do with the Plot Bunnies he was ranting about in Part 1."
"Plot Bunnies?" Carter asked quizzically. "What's a Plot Bunny?"
"Oh come on Carter," Newkirk said. "You don't know about the Plot Bunny? How old are you?"
Carter looked indignant. "Well I think that's a rather personal question Newkirk!" he said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Take it easy Carter," Newkirk said. "I'll tell you about the Plot Bunny."
Carter relaxed. "That's better," he said.
"You've heard of the Easter Bunny, right?" Newkirk asked. Carter nodded. "Well, the Plot Bunny is the same, only he visits fan fiction writers, like this joker over there," he said, pointing to the outside of the computer screen.
"Oh him," Carter said. "I've always wondered about him."
"Me too, but sometimes it's a her rather than a him," Newkirk said.
"Leave it to you to notice that Newkirk," Hogan said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Thank you sir, I do my best," Newkirk replied. "Anyway, the Plot Bunny comes in the middle of the night and leaves presents for the writer."
"You mean like jelly beans?" Carter asked.
"Almost, but I don't think you want to be eating them," Newkirk said, laughing.
Hogan choked on his coffee. He tried not to laugh, but was unsuccessful, and coffee went flying in all directions.
Carter looked at the mess that Hogan had made. "I guess that writer sure got you boy!" he said. "Um, I mean sir."
"Newkirk, quit teasing him," Hogan said, having recovered amazingly fast from the coughing fit. "You know as well as I do what Plot Bunnies are."
"Well I don't know," Carter said. "Why doesn't someone tell me?"
"Simmer down Carter, I'll tell you," Hogan said. And he told Carter about Plot Bunnies.
The room was silent after he finished. Hogan looked around wondering why. Then he looked at the reader. "What, you don't expect me to tell YOU do you?" he asked, shaking his head. "These readers are almost as demanding as the writers!"
"But Colonel, what about Hochstetter," Kinch asked.
"Oh yes, thank you Kinch for getting us back to the point of this chapter," Hogan said. "We have to find out what's going on there. And how do we find out?"
"Schultz!" came the chorus of everyone in the room.
At that moment, Schultz walked into the barracks. "Schultz, what a coincidence. We were just talking about you," Hogan said.
"Colonel Hogan, you know as well as I do that it was no coincidence," Schultz said, gesturing towards the writer.
LeBeau walked up to Schultz and handed him a piece of paper. Schultz opened up the paper and read the words "Apfel Strudel" from it. "What is this?" he asked.
"Well Schultz, we always bribe you with strudel to get information from you, but the props department on this story isn't very good," Hogan said. "So we don't have any strudel. This is the best we can do today."
"Ah, I see, I'm on a diet in this story," Schultz said. "And since I have also been told that this chapter is running a little long Colonel, let's bypass the normal give and take," he said, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.
"What's that?" Hogan asked.
"It is the information that you would eventually get from me," Schultz replied. "I'm going to read it to you so that you can hurry up and talk about your devious plan to foil Major Hochstetter's not-so-devious plan, as usual."
"Foil? Devious?" echoed Newkirk. "Schultz, you never use words like that."
"I know Newkirk," Schultz said. "It's this writer again. I think he got a thesaurus or something. But please don't distract me. I have to read this information."
Schultz read from the paper. "Major Hochstetter, tired of the heavy Plot Bunny activity around Stalag 13, has come up with a plan. He has had several writers from the third Harry Potter movie hard at work to come up with a modified Marauders' Map that will show him the location of any Plot Bunny in this area. Once finished, the map will can be used to finally outsmart Colonel Hogan and maybe even steal a scene from him without having to resort to acting like Yosemite Sam."
"Who's Yosemite Sam Schultz?" Carter asked.
"He's a cartoon character from Warner Bothers that won't be introduced until 1945," Schultz replied.
"But we haven't yet reached 1945 in our timeline," Hogan said.
"I know Colonel," Schultz replied. "But the writer included it because, well, he's a writer and not necessarily concerned with historical accuracy."
"Oh brother, what's next?" Hogan said rolling his eyes.
"Maybe that," Schultz said, pointing to Kinch and LeBeau. Hogan turned to look.
"Oh no," he said. "Kinch, take those headphones out of your ears and put away that Walkman. LeBeau, I told you, no more GameBoy for you!" Both men complied, but didn't look to happy about it.
"But Colonel, the writer said we could play with them," LeBeau said. "We never get to have any fun."
"Colonel, I do think I have to go," Schultz said. "This chapter is over. You'll have to do your planning in the next chapter."
Part 2 – Those are not Jelly Beans!
Carter burst through the barracks door, panting. "Colonel Hogan," he said breathlessly. "They are clearing out all the prisoners from barracks 15. It looks like Hochstetter is going to be putting something in there."
Hogan sighed. "Oh great, just what we need," he said. "It probably has something to do with the Plot Bunnies he was ranting about in Part 1."
"Plot Bunnies?" Carter asked quizzically. "What's a Plot Bunny?"
"Oh come on Carter," Newkirk said. "You don't know about the Plot Bunny? How old are you?"
Carter looked indignant. "Well I think that's a rather personal question Newkirk!" he said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Take it easy Carter," Newkirk said. "I'll tell you about the Plot Bunny."
Carter relaxed. "That's better," he said.
"You've heard of the Easter Bunny, right?" Newkirk asked. Carter nodded. "Well, the Plot Bunny is the same, only he visits fan fiction writers, like this joker over there," he said, pointing to the outside of the computer screen.
"Oh him," Carter said. "I've always wondered about him."
"Me too, but sometimes it's a her rather than a him," Newkirk said.
"Leave it to you to notice that Newkirk," Hogan said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Thank you sir, I do my best," Newkirk replied. "Anyway, the Plot Bunny comes in the middle of the night and leaves presents for the writer."
"You mean like jelly beans?" Carter asked.
"Almost, but I don't think you want to be eating them," Newkirk said, laughing.
Hogan choked on his coffee. He tried not to laugh, but was unsuccessful, and coffee went flying in all directions.
Carter looked at the mess that Hogan had made. "I guess that writer sure got you boy!" he said. "Um, I mean sir."
"Newkirk, quit teasing him," Hogan said, having recovered amazingly fast from the coughing fit. "You know as well as I do what Plot Bunnies are."
"Well I don't know," Carter said. "Why doesn't someone tell me?"
"Simmer down Carter, I'll tell you," Hogan said. And he told Carter about Plot Bunnies.
The room was silent after he finished. Hogan looked around wondering why. Then he looked at the reader. "What, you don't expect me to tell YOU do you?" he asked, shaking his head. "These readers are almost as demanding as the writers!"
"But Colonel, what about Hochstetter," Kinch asked.
"Oh yes, thank you Kinch for getting us back to the point of this chapter," Hogan said. "We have to find out what's going on there. And how do we find out?"
"Schultz!" came the chorus of everyone in the room.
At that moment, Schultz walked into the barracks. "Schultz, what a coincidence. We were just talking about you," Hogan said.
"Colonel Hogan, you know as well as I do that it was no coincidence," Schultz said, gesturing towards the writer.
LeBeau walked up to Schultz and handed him a piece of paper. Schultz opened up the paper and read the words "Apfel Strudel" from it. "What is this?" he asked.
"Well Schultz, we always bribe you with strudel to get information from you, but the props department on this story isn't very good," Hogan said. "So we don't have any strudel. This is the best we can do today."
"Ah, I see, I'm on a diet in this story," Schultz said. "And since I have also been told that this chapter is running a little long Colonel, let's bypass the normal give and take," he said, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.
"What's that?" Hogan asked.
"It is the information that you would eventually get from me," Schultz replied. "I'm going to read it to you so that you can hurry up and talk about your devious plan to foil Major Hochstetter's not-so-devious plan, as usual."
"Foil? Devious?" echoed Newkirk. "Schultz, you never use words like that."
"I know Newkirk," Schultz said. "It's this writer again. I think he got a thesaurus or something. But please don't distract me. I have to read this information."
Schultz read from the paper. "Major Hochstetter, tired of the heavy Plot Bunny activity around Stalag 13, has come up with a plan. He has had several writers from the third Harry Potter movie hard at work to come up with a modified Marauders' Map that will show him the location of any Plot Bunny in this area. Once finished, the map will can be used to finally outsmart Colonel Hogan and maybe even steal a scene from him without having to resort to acting like Yosemite Sam."
"Who's Yosemite Sam Schultz?" Carter asked.
"He's a cartoon character from Warner Bothers that won't be introduced until 1945," Schultz replied.
"But we haven't yet reached 1945 in our timeline," Hogan said.
"I know Colonel," Schultz replied. "But the writer included it because, well, he's a writer and not necessarily concerned with historical accuracy."
"Oh brother, what's next?" Hogan said rolling his eyes.
"Maybe that," Schultz said, pointing to Kinch and LeBeau. Hogan turned to look.
"Oh no," he said. "Kinch, take those headphones out of your ears and put away that Walkman. LeBeau, I told you, no more GameBoy for you!" Both men complied, but didn't look to happy about it.
"But Colonel, the writer said we could play with them," LeBeau said. "We never get to have any fun."
"Colonel, I do think I have to go," Schultz said. "This chapter is over. You'll have to do your planning in the next chapter."