[Jayce]
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"No." I whispered. It was eleven a clock at night, I was in my PJs, doing something I wasn't known to do. I was just sitting there waiting for something bad to happen to me. I'd locked my door. I'd prayed that God wouldn't let it happen again. I seriously thought about what would happen if I did turn to the police. I looked up therapists, adoption agencies, and group homes. And found that the same thing could happen to me if I was there, too. My only option, was to turn to Sara Jane Feigl. A Jewish girl who lived near my christian school. My parents told me she was going to hell, and that I should not get caught up with such unsaved people. Not to let myself be influenced by the devil. But I didn't listen, I didn't care that I was going to hell! At least I'd be with my brother, and my friends. And at least I'd be away from them.
Hours upon hours later, I'm finally taken pity on and the man who'd like call himself my father leaves my room with nothing but the words, "Don't fall asleep." repeating in my ears. The sun shined brightly through my window. Yes, it had lasted all night long. I looked at my clock, 6:01am. It was Saturday now. Finally. My only time away from all the biblical shit. Yeah, I'm a Christian. I was baptized and all that, but I want to be Jewish. Hence, my Jewish best friend. We don't even get along well, but she actually tries to be nice to me and doesn't think I'm the devil. And knows that the reason I don't wear a cross is not because it will burn my body to ashes and send my evil spirit back through the gates of hell. These are genuine rumors about me. Go figure. Anyway, back to Saturday. The only day I can do what I want all day long, and the only thing I want to do all day long is skateboard. I walk silently to the bathroom down the hall and take a shower, and get dressed. Board shorts, a slim fit band tee, and a skateboard under my arm. I made a bee line for... my bedroom window. I slipped out the window and trotted around the house to another window. I tapped on the glass three times and waited.
[Novak]
I heard the tapping on the glass and got up to answer it. I opened the window.
"Get your board, let's go." she said.
"Fine, hold on." I grumbled and looked around sleepily at my bedroom floor. Clothes were strewned everywhere and only small sections of the carpet were visible, I stumbled over to my chest of drawers and rummaged through it. I found a slightly wrinkled but at least clean black t-shirt. And I snatched a pair of black jeans off the floor and pulled them on. I shoved my feet in my shoes and climbed out the window with my skateboard in hand and my set of keys dangling from my middle finger. We walked around to the front of the house together. I wanted to ask her if she was alright, since our dad had just raped her, but I couldn't bring up the courage to do so. We got into the family pick up truck and headed for the local skate park.
"I'm not gonna stay along, okay?" I said, glancing at her. She was flipping through radio stations. She looked down and said, "Gonna go get drunk again?" I thought about lying to her, but then figured I at least owed her the truth.
"Yeah, maybe. Just call me when you wanna go home, okay?"
"No, I think I'll walk home, or spend the night at SJs." Well could you tell me either way? I thought harshly. But I couldn't say that, I'd sound too much like mom and seem too much like a wuss. So we got to the skate park, and skated for a while and a few hours in, I got a text from Bam.
Bam: When r u comin ovr?
Me: Now, c ya n a bit
Bam: K
I told Jayce I was rollin' out, and it really got to me when she hugged me goodbye, and asked me not to shoot up at least. I promised her I wasn't gonna do drugs at all and left.
While I was in the car, I couldn't stop thinking about Jayce. And how I let dad do that to her. And how I used her to save myself. And she was still nice to me, and cared about me. I constantly had to wipe my face dry from the tears that just kept flowing. But eventually I had to pull over because I couldn't see or concentrate on the road anymore. I drove into a wal-mart and parked behind the building. I breathed, and cried, and the I looked at Jayce's jacket on the passenger's seat. I knew what she had in her jacket pocket, and I considered going back to it. It used to help before, I thought to myself. I dug through her pocket and found it. I felt the cold metal on my finger tips as I moved it around in my fingers. I let the tears momentarily blur my vision, but then I blinked and wiped my eyes on my sleeve. I thought about Jayce and how ashamed I felt for what I'd done to her, and in that moment I didn't think twice about it. I pressed the blade to my arm and dragged it across my wrist.