A thief. Of all the people he could have picked up, he'd found a thief. A thief with a gun that was trained on him. A thief that was clutching his beloved coat far too tight in his thieving little thief hands.

"So, you've probably guessed who I am by now." Blaine said, matter-of-factly.

Kurt blinked. "No? I don't know you. I can't tell the police anything. I promise. I... Could you watch the seam on that?"

Blaine looked down at the coat as if he had forgotten it was there. "I'm a little worried about your attachment to this, you know."

"I worked for that! As opposed to, you know, stealing it. And it wasn't cheap!" Kurt gave a gasp. "Wait! Please don't steal it!"

"I'm not going to steal it!Look, I'm sorry. This is how I work. I travel up and down the highway hitching. I rob a few places and then move on before the mark realizes. You weren't the supposed to come into the store, Kurt."

"Oh! Sorry! How rude of me. What was I even thinking, Blaine! Wait? Is that even your real name? Or your criminal mastermind name?"

"The media call me The Dapper Highwayman, actually. But yes. It's Blaine."

"The Dapper Highwayman? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'd prefer something a bit more machismo, of course but..." Blaine shrugged. "I'm terribly polite to those I rob."

"Well, at least there's that. Good to know that while they were having their hard worked money taken you were saying please and thank you," Kurt snapped. "I cannot believe I was going to ask you out."

"You were?" Blaine grinned with delight. "Really?"

"Shut up. Put your tights back on."

"I knew you were the type that liked bad boys. I could just tell."

"Are you even gay? Or was all the flirting to keep me sweet?"

"I was flirting with you because you're cute. Really cute. And if you'd asked I'd have said yes."

"Yes, well. That's hardly a worry right now is it, Bandit?"

"Hmm," Blaine murmured. "Look. I honestly have no idea what to do with you. You know my name. You're the only person who knows my face. You know about my... career."

"Oh, my God? Are you going to kill me?"

"I'm a thief not a murderer but... look, it's getting late. And I'm tired. Let's find a quiet spot and talk about it in the morning. Here, take that turn ahead. It leads to a secluded wooded area."

"You're going to bury me in the woods?"

"I already said I'm not going to kill you!"

"You're going to bury me alive?"

"What? No! You watch too much TV, Kurt, I just want to sleep so I can think on a fresh head. I promise that I will let you go. Provided you behave."

"Sleep in the car?" Kurt's heart hammered as he took the turning. "All night?"

"It's nearly midnight and we've been driving for hours. Youeven longer."

Kurt didn't answer, his mind racing. He could wait until Blaine was asleep and make a run for it. If he just kept pliant and quiet he could make Blaine drop his guard.

"Here will do," Blaine said. Satisfied they were now in the most terrifyingclearing. Kurt pulled over, eyes scanning the woods for the nearest exit to the road. "Do you need to pee?"

"Pee? Sorry?"

Blaine began to ruffle through his bag. "Before we go to sleep." He pulled out a pair of handcuffs with a pink furry trim. "And before I put these on you."

"Before you put...? No! No! You are not putting them on, get off!" Blaine snatched up Kurt's wrists, binding them together as he looped them through the wheel. Uselessly Kurt pulled on the cuffs, clinking against the metal. "Get these off. Now. I mean it, Blaine. I need to pee! I need to pee!"

Blaine leaned forward and stared into his face. "You're a terrible liar, Kurt. I need to make sure you don't take off in the middle of the night. That's all." He laughed. "If you do need to pee, let me know." He sat back in his chair, and then, good God, draped the Vivienne Westwood over himself. "Night, Kurt."

"I can't go to sleep like this!" Kurt cried, panicked. "It's uncomfortable."

"You can do anything you set your mind to." Blaine whispered, snuggling into the coat. "I have faith."

"So much for dapper," Kurt muttered under his breath. Okay, his plan was bust. He'd have to come up with a new one. In the morning. He cringed at the damage that was happening to his pores. This blew his moisturizing routine. He settled back into his seat and tried to pretend he was at his father's. Nestled in his own bed. Warm. Calm. Safe.

"What was that?" he said sitting up with a start. "Did you hear that? I think it was a bear!"

Blaine sighed. "You know bear sounds intimately, do you? Relax. It can't get in the car."

"But I have a Honey Crunch in the trunk."

"Are you concerned that this bear has a crow bar?"

"We should go get a motel!" Kurt said brightly, seeing another way out. The longer he stalled Blaine the better. "We passedloadson way here."

"We are sleeping in the car, Kurt. Believe it or not, but I'm trying to keep a low profile. Now go to sleep. I'm begging you. Don't make me pistol whip you unconscious."

Kurt glared at him, leaning back. Okay. Sleep. He could sleep.

Do do do do, dah-dah dah-dah, do do do do.

Oh, Christ. That was the last thing he needed. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Do do do do, dah-dah dah-dah, do do do do.

He just needed to clear his mind. That's all.

Do do do do, dah-dah dah-dah, do do do do.

No. It was no good.

"Blaine?" Kurt hissed. "Are you asleep?" Blaine gave a fake soft snore snore in reply. "Oi!" Kurt kicked out, his foot connecting with shin. "Blaine."

"What? What?" Blaine shifted in his seat, staring at him in agitation. "What do you want?"

"Are you awake?"

"Am I...? Am I awake? Of course I'm awake!"

"Oh, I'm sorry? Am I botheringyou?" Kurt pulled on his handcuffs rattling the chain. "Am I keeping you up?"

Blaine glared at him, his eyes flashing. He blinked slowly and under his breath Kurt could hear the count up to ten. "Okay, okay. What's the matter, Kurt?" he asked, achingly insincere. "How can I possibly help, Kurt?"

"I can't sleep," Kurt said simply.

"Have you tried? Hmm? Did you even close your eyes?"

"Yes, of course," Kurt hissed. "But being kidnapped and handcuffed to a wheel in the middle of nowhere isn't how I usually lull myself to slumber. Plus..."

"Plus what?"

"I have Roxette in my head."

"I'm... sorry? You have Roxette in your head?"

"Sleeping in my car? Do do do do, dah-dah dah-dah, do do do do. Sleeping in my car, I will caress you. That one? It's like a screensaver. It's driving me mad. I can't sleep."

Blaine opened his mouth and closed it again with a snap. He pressed an index finger to his temple, rubbing in a small circle. "I'm going to go to sleep now. And if you speak again, I am going to tie you to the roof until morning. Do you understand?"

"You put it in there!"

"Do you understand?"

Kurt didn't reply, lest he end up roofed. He gave a sharp nod and shot Blaine what he hoped was the dirtiest look he had ever received.

Fine. Close his eyes. He could do that. Forget he was forcibly attached to a steering wheel. He could do that, too. Forget he'd been kidnapped by a gorgeous designer clothes abusing lunatic. There. Done. Sleep. Sleep. After awhile, to his surprise, Kurt actually couldfeel himself drifting off. He felt heavy and pulled down, his muscles tired and glad of the rest. He let his brain switch off and began to lightly doze.

"That's it!" Blaine suddenly exclaimed. "I give up!"

Kurt jumped and stared at him blearily. "What? What's it?"

"You!" Blaine complained. "I can't sleep!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"We're getting a motel. I'm uncuffing you, and then we are driving to the nearest motel. And if you think of one catchy song, any song, that is to do with motels, keep it to yourself or I swearI will get a knife and fork and eat your ridiculous coat in front of you."

"Here?" Kurt asked. "Are you serious?" Kurt looked around the foyer, his nose wrinkled in distaste. "I just saw a cockroach checking out."

"Will you be quiet? The receptionist is right there," Blaine hissed. He had Kurt tight by the elbow. "Don't try anything, okay," he whispered before approaching the counter. "Hello!" he said brightly. "Do you have a twin room available, please?"

"Twin? Really?" The man barely glanced at them, his eyes glued to the television on his desk. "Got a double, if ya wanting it?"

Blaine shook his head. "Twin is fine, thanks."

The man sighed and shot them an unimpressed look. "Listen, Curly Sue. This ain't no Hilton. Take the trick upstairs. Get it out of ya system and then send ya girl a goodnight text."

"I... I'm sorry?" Blaine stammered, his fingers tightening against Kurt's arm. By accident or in warning, he didn't know.

"I got a double. You want it or what?"

"Fine, fine." Blaine grumbled, shoving the cash on the table. "We'll take it!"

The man gave a gap toothed grin, shoving the keys across the desk. "Enjoy, boys." Kurt gave a shocked little gasp, a blush spreading across his face.

"Did he call me a trick? Isn't that a hooker? Do I look like a hooker?" Kurt asked as Blaine led him to the room.

"I thought I said you were banned from talking." Blaine unlocked the door and pulled Kurt through the doorway. "You're talking."

"Oh, this is a lovel yroom. The bloodstains in the carpet really bring out the cobwebs on the ceiling. Hey! What are you doing," Kurt asked as Blaine took him by the wrists and led him to the bed.

"I'm cuffing you to the headboard." At Kurt's expression he had the good grace to blush. "Not for nefarious purposes." He pushed Kurt down by the shoulders and took him by the left hand. "Stop squirming!"

"This is ridiculous. Just take the car and leave me here, Blaine." Kurt tried to keep the panic out of his voice. "You don't need to do this." He winced at click of the clasp. "Please."

"Will you calm down? I'm not going to eat you! I'm going to have a shower and then go to sleep. You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor." He crossed the room, ignoring Kurt's frantic tugging on the handcuffed hand. "I'll even put the TV on. Here," he picked up the remote. "We have a choice of... Er, two channels. An action movie! That's fun, right?"

"You can't leave this on! It has Mark Wahlberg in it!'

"So? Wahlberg's cute?"

"It's his voice. He says everything like he is explaining something patiently to a six year old."

"I... What?"

"I'm not watching something with him in, unless he is shirtless and mute. You can't cuff me to a bed and force me to watch this. Look! He just fired, like, a million bullets with one gun. This is torture."

"Oh, my God! Fine!" Blaine clicked at the remote. "There! A Vincent Price movie. Do you have any problems with hisvoice?"

"Er..."

"I don't care! I'm showering." Blaine flicked the television off and threw the remote to the floor. He stamped off to the bathroom without looking back muttering all the while about investing in ball gags.

Kurt sat for a moment blinking slowly. How had he got into this? Oh, that's right. He had tried to do a good deed. Of course. Dimly, he heard the shower blast into life. Blaine couldn't take him all over the country, cuffing him to every shiny thing he could find. He had to let him go soon. Didn't he? Did Kurt really want to find out the hard way?

He examined the bracelet tied round his left wrist and gave another tug on the chain. Well, unless he hulked out he was stuck here. Standing up he gave the frame a shake. It seemed firm enough. He leant backwards, and pulled with all his strength.

The bed gave a slight jolt.

Yes!

He could move the bed! Okay, maybe not out of the actual motel, but if he could get to the door he could maybe get someone's attention or even use that phone on the wall.

Wait! Phone on the wall!

If he could just drag this eyesore over there he could call the police! He could call his dad!

Kurt could do this, he could! He began to pull, trying to ignore the pain in his hands. This was too important. Blaine could be out any minute. He gave a tiny cheer as the bed moved again, seeming to grow lighter now it knew he was serious. He continued to tug.

Closer.

Closer.

So close.

If he could just get a little bit further he could almost reach!

"What the hell are you doing?" Blaine asked from behind him. "Are you seriously trying to escape with a bed?"

Kurt cursed himself for not hearing the shower switch off. He gave a desperate pull on the headboard and made a dive for the phone with his fingers. Blaine was on him almost instantly, grabbing at his free hand. Kurt went wild, kicking and struggling as Blaine tried to calm him down.

"You're going to dislocate your… oomph!" Blaine fell backward onto the bed, as Kurt's knee came up into his stomach. Kurt went for the phone again but Blaine caught him by the wrist, bringing Kurt down on top of him. Kurt tried to push himself off but Blaine was so damn slippery and wet and... naked.

"You knocked the towel off," Blaine explained breathlessly as Kurt froze and stared down at him in shock. "When you were fighting me."

Kurt's mouth went dry as he stared down into the other boy's deep brown eyes, his hip pressing into Blaine's groin. He shifted and Blaine gave out a soft moan.

"You need... You need to get off me. Please." Blaine's hand loosened on his wrist. "Now, Kurt, before this gets embarrassing."

Kurt's brain couldn't seem to process further than "Blaine is nude, Blaine is nude."He could feel firm muscles pressed up against his chest, thighs tensing under his, a mouth so close to his.

And then someone began to kiss Blaine, and Kurt was pretty sure it was him.

"No, don't," Blaine said into his mouth, even as his hand snaked around Kurt's waist. Pushing him against his hardness. "Is this a trick? To get me to uncuff you?"

"You don't have to uncuff me," Kurt muttered, kissing along Blaine's neck. At this Blaine gave an even louder groan and brought his hands to Kurt's chest, beginning to unfasten the buttons and fanning the shirt open as he did.

This was insane. Ridiculous. He couldn't do this with his kidnapper!He wasn't Patty Hearst, for goodness sake. But Blaine was thrusting up into him and Kurt was finding it extremely hard to breathe.

Blaine's hands were at his jeans now, slipping in and rubbing against his hardening cock. I am Patty Hearst! I am! I amhe thought inanely as pleasure rushed throughout his body.

"I need to get you out of those," Blaine muttered. "I need to know you're here because you want to be." He slipped out from under Kurt and went to get the key. Kurt felt himself bucking into the mattress and reddened in embarrassment. God, he was shameless. Blaine practically bounded back and leapt onto the bed. Fingers shaking he unlocked the cuff and sat back, legs curled under him. "You're free, Kurt. If you want to go. Go. I won't stop you. I promise."

Kurt rubbed at his wrist, staring at Blaine. He tried to think of something to say but actions spoke louder than words after all. He crawled across the bed slowly and kissed Blaine's bare chest, kissed across his collarbone and to his ear. He pulled away and stared into his face. Blaine smiled slowly and cupped a hand to the back of Kurt's head, fingers entangling in his hair. He brought his lips to Kurt's and kissed him slowly and deeply, teeth nipping at his bottom lip.

"You're overdressed, Kurt," Blaine said. "Let's remedy that."

Quickly Blaine helped Kurt out his clothes, nearly falling from the bed in their haste. It wasn't an elegant affair but they got it done, Blaine rolling a laughing Kurt onto his back.

"Hello," Blaine said, fingers trailing along his bottom lip. Kurt's tongue slipped out and licked at the pads.

"The Dapper Highwayman, I presume?" Kurt said, his hands roaming across Blaine's back, cupping his ass and pushing their groins together. "I see you're standing. Are you ready to deliver?"

"These puns really shouldn't be sexy. It must be the way you're saying them." Blaine trailed a hand gently down Kurt's body, grazing his nipple. Kurt arched up into the touch, biting at his bottom lip. Pleased with the reaction Blaine replaced his fingers with his tongue. Working over the nub he brought his hands down lower and gripped at Kurt's cock, spreading the pre-come from the tip around his palm. He began to jerk roughly and Kurt threw an arm round his neck, moaning and bucking up into his hand. Kurt brought his own palm to his mouth, licking it long and luxuriously as Blaine watched with blown pupils. Grinning Kurt pushed the hand between their bodies and clutched Blaine, flicking his wrist in time with Blaine's ministrations of his own cock.

For awhile the only sounds in the room where the soft sounds of skin against skin, and the strained sighing of each boy. Then Blaine gave an almost pained scream and buried his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, biting with his teeth as his body shuddered out his release. Kurt soon followed, throwing back his head as stars clouded his vision. "Oh, my God," he groaned as he came. "That was… I mean. Oh, my God!"

"I know," Blaine said muffled, his face still buried in Kurt's shoulder. He moved off the top of Kurt and smiled over at him. "Seconded."

Panting, Kurt curled up against Blaine, resting his head on his chest, listening to Blaine's heartbeats coming down. "Well, this beats flying."

Blaine laughed and stroked his hand down Kurt's spine. "I imagine it would."

"What happens in the morning, Blaine?" Kurt looked up into his face. "What are we going to do?"

"I guess… we could carry on? To Lima?"

"And would you be robbing gas stations all the way there?"

"Are you asking me to go straight? So to speak."

"It's a thought." Kurt admitted. "You could just stop. Before you get caught?"

"No, I couldn't, Kurt. Not just like that. Not even after one night with you. Don't look like that! You know what I mean. I've been doing this for so long. I can't stop now."

"But…"

"Shh, Kurt. Okay. How about this. How about I sleep on it? See what the morning brings?"

Kurt felt he was being fobbed off but he nodded, snuggling into the other boy.

"Not yet though." Blaine said, pushing Kurt off and grinning filthily. "Now I think it's yourturn to put those cuffs on me."

Kurt woke to sunlight streaming in through the window. He moaned and rolled over, touching at the space beside him. It was cold. Blaine had been gone sometime.

He wrapped the sheets round himself, sitting up and curling his legs under him. His keys were beside him on the floor. His plastic troll giving him a smug smile. "Shut up," he muttered. At least Blaine had left him the rental car. He noticed that beneath the keys there was a piece of paper. Leaning over he snatched it up, crawling back onto the bed to read it.

Dear Kurt,

Sorry about just running out on you like this, but I need to keep moving. And I don't want to drag you into any more trouble than I already have. Last night was… there are no words for last night. Thank you.

Regards,
The Dapper Highwayman

p.s It must have been love. But it's over now.

p.p.s Actually scratch that. Nothing is ever really over. Plus, I stole your address from your wallet.

Kurt laughed and flopped back down onto the bed, pressing the piece of paper to his chest.

Maybe this trip hadn't been such an error in judgment after all.

The End

A/N- See profile for sequel The Lima Job.