The weight of a soulless body is heavier than the weight of one thousand boulders. The sorrow from losing a loved one runs deeper than a stupid monkey's stomach. And what I did to escape my pain… was dumber than any of the people I have traveled with over the years. But now, I'm lost… and there is no guarantee I will ever feel anything ever again. Koume…

Sanzo awoke from the dream in a cold sweat. He sat up in his bed and heaved as if he had not been breathing at all before. Breath was a luxury, and he wasn't going to waste it. there was no guarantee any of them would wake up in the morning, and if they did, they had to spend the rest of the day fearing when their lives would be snuffed out. At least, that was how Sanzo lived. Though, the nightmare he had was just too much for him to bear. It had been two months since his party had met Koume, Hakkai's daughter. They were separated a long time ago, and Hakkai was happy to have her back. Neither her nor Sanzo had forgotten their encounter a while back, and a relationship grew form that.

Neither of them were very affectionate, but Koume was trying to get Sanzo to open up a little more. Also, they hadn't been on the road for two weeks. They were currently resting at a traditional shrine. Usually, Sanzo wouldn't allow for them to say more than a day before wanting to leave, but for the past 2 weeks, he had not been able to sleep, plagued by that same dream. He was almost ill, and thus, the others decided to stay longer. They hoped the stay at a temple would help to ease his mind, but so far, it has only worked a small bit, and the dreams were getting worse.

At first, it was just a quick dream. He felt it held no realism, and tried to ignore it. But then, it became longer, stretched out, and more real. This last time, he could feel the weight of Koume's empty body and the cold surface of his gun as it slid into his mouth, and…

Sanzo hung his head. The last thing he wanted was to remember it. It was so real, and he hated it. Sanzo thought he had lost her once already, and he didn't want to happen again. If he had only seen the dream once, he would have dismissed it as nothing, but because it had come to him every night for so long, he feared that it might be something more. A premonition, maybe.

Sanzo was all but sobbing as he held his head, willing the images to leave him. his nails dug into his scalp, but even the pain form that could not save him from losing her again. He was lost and in the dark, with no hope of getting out… And then, a small ray of light pierced though the darkness. The door creaked open just slightly, allowing a thin figure entrance into Sanzo's dark room. She seated herself on the edge of his bed and lightly touched his face, turning it to face her.

Koume's golden-red eyes shimmered, even in the dark, and Sanzo could not help but stare deeply into them. She was there with him. every morning, he needed to be reminded of that. He hadn't told her or the others about his dreams, for fear that they would come through. So, every morning, he would wake up, practically in tears and she would come in and comfort him.

She ran her soft hands over his face, and he closed his eyes, feeling calmer, even though tears were now falling freely. She wiped them away and Sanzo would lower his head. His torso was wet with perspiration, and Koume sighed and hugged him. He was a lot thinner than he had been a few weeks ago and he would often stay in one spot all day, too weak to move about. But, Koume wasn't about to give up on him. So, she just sat there, hugging him and rocking him back and forth in her arms. Soon, he stopped crying and hugged her weakly back.

"Sanzo… I'm worried about you. You're not doing yourself any favors by keeping your troubles to yourself. Sanzo, please… Genjyo… please tell me what's wrong?"

Usually, Sanzo wouldn't answer, but that night, he did. He pulled Koume away from him and stared her strait in the eyes. She tilted her head as he stared for a moment, and then she felt one of his hands move up to her shoulder as the other cupped her face. Slowly and wordlessly, he brought her lips to his. This was very new, as he usually wouldn't show such open affection, even in private, but it was also welcome. His lips were soft and hers were the same. It was like a fire was building in between them and their lips had sparked an intense desire. He spoke in between kisses.

"I love you… I love you…"

Sanzo quickly became more brave and kissed her even more deeply. Despite the passion, they both had to break for air, and when they did, both were gasping for air. Koume finally opened her eyes, and her face was visibly red. once again, Sanzo was staring at her sadly. So, when his head went down, her hand went to his chest and she nuzzled his neck. It was kind of a demon instinct, but he enjoyed the contact, anyway. Her hair was soft, and just barely tickled his neck. a small kiss was placed on his throat when her hair tickled him. Then, she looked up and made him look at her.

"Genjyo… what was that-"

A knock came to the door, interrupting her, and then it opened. The light flickered on, and Sanzo had to blink his tired eyes a few times to adjust. It didn't affect Koume. She just stared at Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo as they stood in the doorway, staring at them.

"We heard something. Are you okay, Sanzo?"

He didn't answer; just turned his head away, like he always did. He was always trying to be the tough guy, but it didn't fool any of them. The bags under his eyes and his paling skin didn't lie. Koume shook her head and answered for him.

"I think it was another nightmare."

"I see… did he tell you that?"

"Well, no."

"Did he say anything?"

Koume thought about the kiss, and her head went down as she blushed. Gojyo saw this and pointed a finger at her.

"Hey, you're going red! What did that pervy monk do to you, huh? HMM?"

Sanzo threw Gojyo a glare and reached his hand to the nightstand, where he kept his gun. Gojyo put his hands up and took a step back, hiding behind Hakkai. That's when Goku climbed onto the end of the bed and looked at Sanzo, worriedly.

"Hey… you still don't look too good! What's wrong with you, Sanzo?"

"Nothing."

He reached into the drawer and Gojyo tensed. But, he was only reaching for his smokes. He silently took one out of the pack and placed it between his lips. Then, Hakkai made a noise and Sanzo looked up at him.

"Um, Sanzo, might I remind you of Koume's condition?"

"Yeah, Sanzo!" Goku cut in.

"You can't smoke around Koume! She's got a bad heart!"

Koume was born with an abnormally weak heart, so smoking around her was out of the question. Sighing, he took out the smoke and crushed it. Koume smiled and kissed him on the cheek, and then she hugged his bare torso. Goku tilted his head and Gojyo made a disgusted noise.

"Geeze… get a room, you two."

"We have one, and you just happen to be in it, Gojyo. If you don't want a bullet in what little brain you might have, I suggest you beat it!"

Again, Sanzo reached for his gun, and Gojyo bolted down the hallway. Hakkai laughed and motioned for Goku to follow.

"Since I doubt anyone is going to get any more sleep this morning, we'll go into my room and play some cards."

"Ooh! That sounds like fun! Sanzo, Koume, will you join us?"

Koume looked at Sanzo and turned back to Goku, saying a small 'maybe' before the other two walked out. Once they were gone, Sanzo let out a sigh and leaned back against the pillows and the head board. Koume leaned against him.

"I could leave, you know..." She started.

Sanzo looked down at her, sadly, wondering what she meant. Did she want to leave him alone? She understood the look and shook her head.

"You look like you need a smoke. I feel so bad for depriving you of something that helps keep you calm."

"…No, it's fine. I'll smoke later."

"Genjyo…"

"I'll smoke later."

She smiled, despite the harsh tone, and hugged him again. She wouldn't leave him until he wanted her to.