Author's Notes (Best not to be skipped):
Ever felt like no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough?
Ever read someone's work, only to find it to be prefect? Making you realize just how ugly your own work is?
I will occasionally re-upload old chapters along with new ones, however don't worry, there won't be any significant differences. I will mainly do so to correct any spelling, grammatical or phraseological mistakes. I might add some sentences once in a while, but there really won't be any significant changes.
Take Notice:
This is an Alternative Universe (AU) story set in our Earth – modern day world. Take this into consideration, especially when you are thinking/"frowning" about the reactions/choices or the general personality of the Characters that will be depicted.
This story is a Yaoi (male x male). This means that the homosexual relationship(s) between males is (are) illustrated.
If you're particularly young or aren't familiar/comfortable with this topic then I suggest you do not proceed to read this story/chapter.
Interesting Facts – Did you know? :
The cherry blossom is the national flower of Japan.
Known as Sakura in Japanese, cherry blossoms are ceremonial symbols and are used for receptions such as the traditional Hanami ("flower viewing"). The meaning of the Sakura tree in Japan is "transient of life", as it is very fragile and has a very short blooming period. The Sakura tree has also been closely tied with the cycle of life and death, and is often used to describe the purity of a woman's virginity and the explosive suicidal action of Hara-kiri.
There are many legends and myths tied with the Sakura tree, including the tale of the Samurai of committed Hara-kiri, and my personal favourite, the story of Konohanasakuya-hime, the blossom-princess in Japanese Mythology.
In the game Ōkami, the wood sprite Sakuya is the tree spirit found in the tree called Konohana planted in Kamiki Village, which is a Sakura. In the game, she is the one to summon the goddess Amaterasu, and is also the one to protect Kamiki village. Sakuya, and the Guardian Sapling Konohana trees all over Nippon, are a symbol of life, rejuvenation and purity.
We can safely assume that her character was based on Konohanasakuya-hime, in terms of meaning rather than story. The choice to name her tree "Konohana" was an intended reference to the legend of Konohanasakuya-hime.
Today, cherry blossom trees are found all over the world.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Anime or the Characters!This work is for entertaining purposes only; I obviously make no profit from this.
All rights go to the creator: Masashi Kishimoto.
The only thing(s) that I DO OWN are the Idea (behind the story) and the story itself.
PS: The rating may change, as well as the title.
You, my friend(s), have been both informed and warned.
Chapter II
"What else was there in his life to make it worthwhile? What was there to give a meaning in his mundane existence? Was there anything in this world worth living for?"
...
Itachi knocked on the door a couple of times before searching for his keys. He was already gone for 4 hours so it was natural to think Shisui was asleep. He took them out and opened the door, thinking of cuddling a little bit with Shisui in their bed.
So seeing Shisui lying at the floor and clawing his way to the door made his heart nearly stop.
"Shisui!", he hurried to help him, only to have Shisui push him away.
"Don't touch me..." he averted his gaze. "I didn't want you to see me like this..."
"What...What are you talking about?", he stuttered confused, his mind in a halt, not knowing whether he should ignore Shisui and reach out for him or back off.
"I'm...", he paused. Why were the words so difficult? "I'm dirty", he said in one breath, his voice a low tone.
Itachi frowned. 'Dirty'? He scratched his head awkwardly, his mouth tensed up, becoming a something resembling a grin, only, while trembling nervously.
"What do you..." he tried to ask but his eyes finally caught up to the scene. Noticing that Shisui was naked from the waist down, seeing the blood smirked all over, watching as Shisui was trying to close his legs even as it hurt him... all these; they drove him mad.
Frozen still, he stared intensely at the sight. His eyes were burning cold, shimmering with a silent intent.
And as he turned around to call the cops, Shisui grabbed his pants, stopping him, "Wait! Don't call the police!"
"Are you nuts!? Give me one reason not too!" he cried.
"T-that's..." he panicked. What was he supposed to say?
"An ambulance- call an ambulance instead."
He stood confused, frowning as his mind run.
"He...stabbed me...in the back."
"AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS NOW!?" he shouted over his lungs while calling the ambulance, if Shisui wasn't injured he would have beaten the crap out of him.
"Who was it!?" he howled, waiting for the hospital to answer. "Did you see his face!?"
He didn't answer. Shisui tried to stand but as his body remembered the pain he was nailed to the floor. His powers were leaving him. He tried to breathe, but it only made him cough more.
He felt his eyes heavy, his vision slowly disappearing.
"Shisui, don't close your eyes!"
...
After the ambulance arrived, everything moved in fast pace.
The only thing Itachi remembered clearly was waiting outside of the surgical room... AGAIN.
But this time was different. This time there was a foreboding feeling towering tall above him. He could feel it creep its way up his spine and invade even the tiniest corners of his mind.
He cuddled up his knees as he sat the floor and gripped his hands together on top of his forehead, and pleaded, rocking his entire body back and forth.
Then something snapped.
Should he pray?
He felt he should. But he didn't know where. Buddha? Or maybe God?
He wasn't a believer like his parents were. He was more spiritual than religious. And, as such, he didn't feel like whoever was out there would listen to him.
It's just that... he felt so helpless. He was just a measly human, unable to even protect the person he loved.
That's why; he hoped that, if there's someone out there, they would help. It's not like he thought it would work, but he needed to believe that everything would turn out fine.
Please God, please. My heart will not take it... Please. Save him. Just him. I just need him. Everything I have, everything I am- it means nothing without him.
You don't need to save him for my sake either. He... is a wonderful person. A wonderful, kind, loving, free spirited...beautiful person.
And it's not just him. It's everything about him. His voice, his eyes, his character.
The way he looks at me and tells me that he loves me. The way he sometimes combs my hair when he thinks I'm asleep.
His very soul is beautiful.
The time Itachi waited outside was tormenting. Every minute, every second felt like years to him.
Only he knew how torturously slow those minutes passed. Only he knew the anguish they served him. He would have welcomed a lifetime in hell anytime if it would mean that this agony would end.
And yet...he could only wait...
Then, after around fifteen minutes had passed, one of the surgeons walked out of the surgical room. He needn't ask anything, he felt it. He could see it on the doctor's expression. But most of all, he could feel it in his heart. It had stopped beating.
Shisui was dead.
His vision became blurred by the tears.
He didn't want to believe it.
...
After the proclamation of his death, the police had to be contacted- it was a homicide after all.
Dr. Yamashita didn't allow him enter the room in fear of 'spoiling' any evidence that would have been left, but he was allowed a few minutes of privacy with him.
He didn't know what to do with them though.
What should he do? He didn't feel anything.
He stepped closer to the window, resting his hand on the glass.
Looking at his lover's carcass through it, it struck him. He would never see him again.
No...
He would never caress his short, unkempt, dark-coloured hair.
No...Nnn...
He would never kiss his lips, or hear his voice.
No...! No... I- I!
He would never be able to tell him how much he loved him again.
The more the realization dawned on him, the more apparent his whimpers became. He tried covering his mouth, but now, instead of whimpers, it was tears that came out.
Oh, how much he wished this wasn't real. How much he wished this was a nightmare. How much he wanted to believe his own lies.
And had this been a dream, a joke, a hoax, he would have screamed, shouted... he would have rejoiced with every part of his petite human soul. He would have danced with delight; taking Shisui into his arms he would adorn him with kisses.
Alas, this was not a dream. It was his reality.
A reality that now demanded of him to be questioned of the conditions he found Shisui in.
It would force him to remember how he had found him lay on the floor, not only beaten to death with bruises on either side of his arms and the outline of his killer's hands clearly imprinted on his frail neck, but stabbed in the stomach as well. He had to remember how he was unable to help him.
But there was more.
He had to tell them of the moment he realized blood and semen were gushing out of his lover's insides and of how Shisui had shut his legs, looking away in shame- in shame! -, as though it had been his fault!
He had to remember Shisui's coughing voice.
Over and over, going around in an endless loop, he had to repeat the same information until the detectives were satisfied with his 'story'.
He was wrong before... When he said that he would endure any form of torture, even hell itself- he was wrong.
How can there be anything worse than this?
And it wasn't even over yet.
Once the medical examination had been completed by the police, it fell on Itachi to claim his lover's body, since Shisui was an orphan and had no relatives or some legal guardian.
After that, he had to contact a funeral home and take care of the details of his burial.
The funeral was held around a week later and was attended only by a handful of people.
...
Itachi's head was bowing down deeply, so much so that his bangs had fallen loose, overshadowing his forehead and eyes. The drops of rain fell to his jet-black hair and, following down his centre-parted bangs which now covered his face, finally dropped on the lifeless ground.
He stood there, motionless as a statue, in utter silence, his charcoal-coloured eyes gazing off to the horizon, lost in the darkness.
Even among so many others he felt alone.
He turned his head around, his eyes wandering through the umbrella-holding individuals. He really was there, among so many others, attending Shisui's funeral...his lover's funeral.
Even after all he had been through, it was still hard to stomach.
He turned back to the front and stared at Shisui's coffin as it was being placed into the ground. His eyes were misty, maybe from the nights he had spent crying and despairing at Shisui's death, unable to understand it.
Have you ever felt that time was either slowing down, or running forward?
Sometimes, it comes to mind that our lives are some kind of movie and that someone is watching it in a videotape, slowing down some scenes and moving forward others.
For him, all the worst scenes played out again and again and again, whereas the good ones simply faded in the background.
For Itachi, Shisui had died, and the funeral took place. And then, the funeral finished, and he still hadn't even begun to realize what exactly had happened.
He got it. Shisui had been...murdered. He was then questioned by the police. Once the medical examination of his body was completed, he claimed it and called a funeral home. Then days passed, and the funeral had ended minutes ago.
He got it.
Everything was clear to him- the facts, the events. But there was something amiss. His emotions stood in stagnation.
There were times when the sorrow took him in her arms and shook him amongst the darkness like a baby, and he sobbed and cried like a child, but most of the times he was... empty.
There are no words that can describe how it feels to bury the person you love under the ground. To know that they'll rot, and turn to ashes. To know that the memory of them will fade, and their very existence will be forgotten.
There are not, and will never be, any words that can describe the grief and the sorrow of seeing your beloved buried away.
There are just no words to describe something like that- there shouldn't be words able to describe that.
...
Though Shisui's funeral had ended a couple of hours ago and everyone else had left, Itachi couldn't get his legs to move from that spot. They were cemented. He kept staring at Shisui's gravestone with a blank expression in his eyes, almost lifeless.
The storm had subdued, leaving behind it a sense of freshness in the air and silence had prevailed over sound. The only thing to be heard was the cawing of crows which had gathered around, and Itachi found consolation in that stillness.
A kind of solace he was certain he wouldn't be able to find elsewhere, even among relatives and friends.
He was just confused. What was he supposed to be feeling right now?
Sorrow? Pain? Anger?
So many things had happened. All a bit too quickly to comprehend.
He looked at the flowers friends had brought for Shisui's funeral- most of them were white-coloured, rose-type flowers.
Then he looked down at his hand, at the Sakura branch he had brought, and a brief smile popped up on his face before disappearing seconds later.
It was around the time they had started living together that Itachi learned of Shisui's favourite flower. Albeit four years ago, he remembered it as though it had happened the other day. Even though he had pretended not to care, he had paid absolute attention to Shisui's every word.
What Shisui loved the most about these flowers was their meaning.
"There is an old story attached to the Sakura tree that values sacrifice... It is said that there is a Cherry tree of the sixteenth day in the Iyo district of Japan.
This tree grew on the hands of an honourable Samurai for over a hundred years and when the Samurai became old, the tree began to die. The Samurai, understanding the tree's slow death by the continuous falling of its petals, leaves and wilting flowers, thought of a way to save the tree's life.
He was a brave and praiseworthy man and, in order to save the Sakura tree, committed a ritual sacrifice while resting on its roots.
This act gave the essence of the Samurai's life to the tree.
Within an hour of the Samurai's death, on the 16th day of the month, the tree began to blossom once again, and it is said to continue to blossom to life even today... Hence, the cherry blossom tree harbours many spiritual beliefs. These beliefs are set deep within the fundamental teachings of the Buddha.
A fallen cherry blossom flower is a symbolic representation of a fallen samurai who lost his life in battle."
Shisui had told him this tale numerous times, like a kid repeating his favourite tale, each time with even more wonder and excitement in his voice.
Just remembering those moments triggered a throbbing sensation in his chest.
How was he supposed to live on?
This was where his heart was buried.
Surely, he still had his family- his father Fugaku and mother Mikito- and then, there was his cherished little brother- Sasuke. However, their parents didn't need him. Yes, they loved him, and they would be forced to cope with an unbearable sorrow would he die, but as they were his parents they would understand.
They would understand, exactly because they loved him, because they were the ones who had raised him, just how valuable- how necessary- Shisui was for his survival and his existence.
And what about Sasuke?
Sasuke didn't need him either. For three to four years now, ever since Itachi moved to England and Sasuke with Hinata to the Netherlands, they had only been talking over the phone. Sasuke was a fully grown adult. He was the little child that followed him around no longer.
Even though so young, he was already accustomed to leaving alone, with what he considered his family. Even if he was to be saddened by his brother's death, he would still have Hinata by his side. He would still have the person he loved and, in the near future, they would luckily have another addition in their lives.
His best friends too, no matter how distressing his death would be for them, they were both strong, respectful individuals...both Kakashi and Kisame would go on with their lives just fine after a while- not to mention that Kakashi would be able to focus in his screenwriting career better.
It seemed a lot better this way.
Had it been anyone else then Itachi would most definitely not even think about taking his life. There were only two people that could make him think this way: Sasuke and Shisui.
After all, without Shisui, every day would be a mundane, devoid of life, routine.
Shisui was for him...everything. He was the reason his lungs kept working- the reason his heart kept on beating. That's what Itachi thought.
He kneeled down and placed the cherry blossoms branch amidst the whiteness that was the rest of the flowers.
He wanted to mourn. He wanted to go where Shisui was.
He didn't want to stay in this world.
But wait. Could he do that? Take his life like that? Especially when Shisui had been murdered? And furthermore, raped?
No. He didn't have that kind of luxury.
Not until Shisui's murder was caught.
Sobbing, Itachi didn't notice the sound of the approaching footsteps.
The distant silhouette run towards him, holding an umbrella in one hand and a dark, pink-coloured rose on the other. Panting for air, he stopped, bending over with his hands on his knees.
"Shit! Did I miss the funeral!? To think I would be this late... That damn traffic! It took me hours to get here! I had to leave the cub and run! Dattebayo!" He cried, easing his frustration before taking notice of Itachi.
"Wha-?! Itachi-san? What's wrong?"
It was hard for Itachi to look at him, as the sun had emerged behind him, but he was able to tell.
He had sun-kissed blond hair and cerulean blue eyes- there was only one person Itachi knew, or even had ever met, with such features. From way back to elementary school and on to Junior High School and High School, the little prankster that would often manage to rile Sasuke up, the one on whom Sasuke's girlfriend- Hinata- used to have a major crush on...
Uzumaki Naruto.
Naruto shouted Itachi's name, without receiving a reply.
Although the blond boy had only met him a couple times, he had never before seen him in this bad shape – he had never seen him look so... ghastly.
Frowning, Naruto stretched out his hand towards Itachi and, though hesitating for a moment, pulled him up by his arm. Supporting him with his own body, he escorted him away from the grimness of the cemetery.
...
"We are bound to see light after darkness.
Just like after the storm comes the sun.
One cannot exist without the other. They grow strong, or weak, together.
You do not know there is darkness until you have lost the light,
Similarly, you could never have known there was light, had there not been for the existence of darkness.
Those two, any two, are interchangeably equal"
Chapter II: the end
«To be continued»
Afterword:
(I don't know about you guys, but this felt disappointing...)
Did you like this chapter? Do you have a complaint?
Do you think I could improve something?
I'd love some constructive criticism... or some encouragement.
Even the tiniest bit counts! Please help me improve.