A/N: haven't written on here in forever clearly, and I don't plan to continue, but I found this on my computer and wanted to put it up before I delete it. Thanks for reading!

o0o

Day 2

Not much went on today. I fell asleep at work again, luckily nobody caught me this time. The paperwork is so dreary sometimes, I can't help it! What put me off more was the dream I had but, and I'm a bit scared to admit this, I wouldn't mind reliving it or "redreaming" it rather. I wouldn't mind living it either though. I'd fallen asleep on the couch back at the flat (yeah, I'm just sleeping everywhere) and I woke up (in the dream) to Sherlock laying on top of me. I was a bit confused by that but then he began putting his arms around me, and he just rubbed my back and it felt really nice. God, I really need someone. I'm getting so lonely.

Day 16

We solved a case today and it was rather mad but I'll save the details of that for my blog. What I want to write here is something I was struggling a bit with…I had a few deductions of my own today (ha, Sherlock isn't the only brilliant one) but I'm not sure what to make of what I noticed happen from my doing them. I suppose hanging around Sherlock has allowed him to rub off on me (not as much as I'd like sometimes...)

So, I was doing those deductions in a bit of a rapid-fire like Sherlock often does (though I still can't deduce where someone works from the stain on their tie) and afterwards, he was just looking at me. Staring at me, I should say. I'll admit, I often go looking for signs that would benefit me but this definitely happened. His eyes were dilated and his breathing pattern changed to one like he was out of breath, he was even sweating some and it was pretty cold today. Now, I'm a doctor and I can tell the basic signs of lust but I just can't see them coming from Sherlock. Has something changed and I haven't noticed?

Day 20

Sherlock's signs of – well, I still don't know what else to call them and they seem to be growing more obvious – lust have continued. I don't want to think it's just me and it's all in my head but it's a very real possibility isn't it? I don't want to get ahead of myself…I'm just waiting for some sort of sign. Something that'll prove to me that he does feel something for me as more than a friend because I can't tell anymore. Sometimes I catch him staring at me for more than a couple seconds or trying to be helpful around the house after noticing the lack of help bothers me (which, regardless, is great and I want to continue) or even brushing against me more.

I just need a definite sign…

Day 21

All day today Sherlock seems to have been in an extraordinarily good mood, not really sure why. I asked him if he was alright (yeah, him being happy without a murder is actually a cause for concern) and he said, "Absolutely." I'm glad to see him so happy but I'm just wondering what it could be. From what I can tell, nothing unusual occurred today. As I said, no cases, Mycroft came 'round (or rather, I was told to) for one of our usual "meetings," and he continued working on his skull decay experiments.

I actually had a kip today, always enjoy when I get the time for that, and I had the oddest dream. Sherlock and I were working on various cases and we were going 'round London working on them and halfway through he took me by the hand and didn't stop. I really liked that. And then suddenly we were flying and I almost plummeted to my death, nothing to worry about of course. But then we somehow came back to life (don't ask me how) and had to escape a legion of turtles (I did say it was odd!) and then we stopped in an alleyway when I got tired. We both were standing there, gasping for breath and then…I pushed him against the wall and we kissed yeah really strange as I said no clue what my brain's doing.