TBH, I've been wanting to rip this apart ever since I re-read it. Anyway, enjoy.

My mom, in short, in one simple word is: wonderful.

(1) Narration. (2) Also, more exposition.

She was super kind, smiled all the time and had to aura of somebody who'd just had a nice nap.

(3) How can 'having had a nice nap' be an aura? What?

How she ended up marrying my dad is a complete mystery to me.

(4) It is, and it's never explained, like everything else in this fic. Damn, thats confusing.

I obviously got my hair color from her; her long silky locks were a bright red color that she wore long and loose all the time.

(5) MORE EXPOSITION

She had a thin and fragile frame; like if she bent the wrong way she would break in two. I obviously got nothing from my dad; I've only seen one picture of my dad

(6) I don't believe that for a second.

- and even if it was fuzzy- I could tell he had slick black hair with spikes for bangs.

(7) Wow, that's a lot to tell when a picture is 'fuzzy'.

Not like me at all, maybe except for the spiky bangs.

Back to my mom. She was an absolute angel. I could ramble on all day about this but I think I'm going to stop now.

(8) Thank god. (9) Also, even more ripping off of Sally Jackson from the Percy Jackson series.

Let's see, where do I begin? Well, I grew up a pretty normal child.

(10) Sure you did, because lots of children have fangs and can't go out in the sun. Now that I think about it, how did you get blood to survive? Did you not die because of your human side, and if so, didn't you at least have some sort of craving for blood in the least? Why don't you ever explain this? PLOT HOLE

For some reason my mom didn't tell me I was half vampire; I'm not sure whether or not she knew my dad was a vampire.

(11) This is never revealed ever.

The only bad things about me where that one, I didn't make many friends. I had a friend named Nikki for a year but it faded away for some stupid reason.

(12) Based off a real person named Nikki from your real life, who you decided to tag and drag because… immaturity.

After that, no friends.

(13) Trying to make people feel sorry for you.

Two, I was a bit of a trouble maker. I always played pranks to get attention. Otherwise, despite my long orange hair I didn't stand out that much.

(14) Naruto rip-off.

I didn't notice I was… different until one day, when I was about seven or eight, I opened my mouth in the mirror to discover small but definitely existent fangs.

(15) Jesus, you didn't realize you had two sharp teeth in your mouth until you were EIGHT? Seven? How? You obviously HAD to have looked in a mirror before then.

It scared me to death but I didn't tell my mom.

(16) I'm calling bullshit here, with how much you described your mom as being kind and accepting, you don't tell her, as a small child without much knowledge on how the world works, ask her why there are sharp teeth in your mouth?

After that, nothing much except one thing that happened when I was twelve.

(17) Ah, the mary-sue-ing age for EVERYBODY!

It was something out of a cartoon.

(18) Not really.

I was walking on a fairly high building top and was pretty close to the edge.

(19) Why? Were you on a trip? If so, why wasn't your mom with you? This is a convenient thing happening only for the sake of the plot, but please explain something here.

Then, someone, to this day I don't know who

(20) I bet it was that Nikki girl that you DEFINITELY don't know in real life.

, bumped into me and sent me sprawling over the edge. I couldn't hear anything over the loud winds but I saw my life flash before my eyes.

(21) "Life-flashing-before-my-eyes" cliche.

And then, I landed on my head before everything went black.

(22) Please tell me there is an alternate universe where this actually ended you. (23) Also, why didn't you burn in the sun? Was it a cloudy day or did you just clutch onto a umbrella to shield yourself as you were sent spiraling towards your death? You're giving us exposition in all the wrong places. (24) This is when you almost got yourself killed. You could've been at least A LITTLE more descriptive, as a favor to us all.

I woke up in a hospital room.

(25) "Waking-up-in-a-hospital-room" cliche. (26) Later in the story you have a nightmare when Phoenix smacks you in the head with a frying-pan, but you don't have one when you almost die?

At first I thought I was dead.

(27) Why? Hospital rooms are usually a sure sign you survived.

When I realized I wasn't I… well, it's hard to explain.

(28) Apparently EVERYTHING is hard for you to explain in this vague-as-hell story.

An weird emotion I can't describe hit me like a pile of bricks. Something in-between nausea and confusion.

(29) Maybe you should be happy that you're not dead.

Thoughts were racing through my head like little NASCARs

(30) NASCARs because apparently you couldn't think of anything else that's fast.

and my I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

Why am I alive? How is this possible? I should be DEAD. There's no blood, no scars, no- What the hell? I don't even have an injuries! Nothing hurts! What the hell is going on?

(31) Well, if you're twelve, then you should probably know that vampires don't go down easily. Why are you confused then? Apparently you noticed the fangs when you were eight, so you must have tried to read up on vampires by now. You should know they're immortal. Maybe you were just too lazy to do any research.

My mom walked in and looked like she was going to cry. Maybe she was overjoyed I was alive. Maybe it was something else.

(32) Most loving and caring moms are overjoyed when their kids aren't dead. Stop wondering.

Either way, we hugged and she just calmed me and made me relax in general. My mom was here; everything was okay.

(33) I don't think so, this is a GMAD story.

And then everything went to hell.

(34) That metaphor doesn't belong here.

Outside the hospital room a spiraling green and white portal formed from nowhere and my mom and I sat their,

(35) Grammar.

Outside the hospital room a spiraling green and white portal formed from nowhere and my mom and I sat their, loudly freaking out over it's sudden occurrence.

(36) If you two are screaming, then why don't any nurses or doctors come to the room and notice what's going on? I'm calling bullshit on this hospital.

Then the window shattered and a force starting lifting me out of my bed and out of the now broken window.

(37) And no nurses or doctors hear THIS?!

I tried to fight it, I really did. I was kicking and screaming with all my might but it was utterly hopeless.

(38) Yep, it's part of the plot and it's utterly hopeless to fight against the force of the plot.

The last thing I saw before being engulfed by the portal was my mom screaming my name and reaching for me.

(39) Why is your mom reaching for you? She should only be screaming your name seeing as now that you're almost fully engulfed by the portal, reaching for you is pointless. Being desperate just makes it more dramatic I guess.

I reached out to her too, but it was too late.

(40) Wow, you're BOTH reaching out? Guess it runs in the family.

After it swallowed me up everything turned black.

(41) "Everything-turning-black" cliche.

Suddenly a shock ran through me, like I was being electrocuted. It hurt like hell but after it was over I felt powerful, like I'd just drank something that would allow me to punch the top off a mountain. Or maybe even the entire mountain.

(42) More bullshit metaphors.

Then the world came back to color but it wasn't my world. The building's were shaped differently, the cars were strangely old fashioned

(43) "Old fashioned" because you're too lazy to look up any old car styles and actually check your history.

and monsters like werewolves, vampires and zombies trailed the sidewalks.

Well, one thing was clear.

(44) You've been transported to a low budget "Nightmare Before Christmas" set?

I wasn't in Kansas anymore.

(45) Referencing a movie you haven't seen. I know you haven't seen it because I'm you, and let me tell you, you will hate that movie.

SIN TALLY: 45

SENTENCE: TRANSPORTED TO HALLOWEEN TOWN

Hope you enjoyed. Review or whatever