Jean Innocent, like Elvis, has left the building. She's off shouting at some other hapless cops. But I've had a BALL & I'll miss the gang.

-Rebecca Front's tweet from 8 April 2015; her Twitter profile description includes "wannabe crooner" in addition to actress and writer.

James: I hear Innocent's leaving do was eventful.

Lizzie: I can still see her doing the ABBA karaoke.

Robbie: I can still hear her. Suffolk Constabulary won't know what hit it.

-One for Sorrow

"This is not what I expected at all," commented Sergeant Lizzie Maddox cautiously as she surveyed Jean Innocent's farewell party with the same curiosity that she would a crime scene. Lizzie sat down at a table with Robbie Lewis and Laura Hobson in the dark room lit by various neon lamps. Prior to that night, none of the three had had no idea that a) there was a karaoke bar in the basement of one of their favourite pubs; and b) that Jean Innocent was a wannabe crooner- and an ABBA fan at that. She sang Waterloo with relish, but she herself would never surrender- she was being promoted to Chief Constable of Suffolk Constabulary.

"Agreed. I thought she'd have something more posh," said Laura Hobson. "Does it give you any ideas, Robbie? About our eventual leaving do?" Laura asked with a come-hither smile as she swirled her gin and tonic.

"Yeah, ideas what not to do. But I don't want—"

"I know, I know, you don't want a big fuss when we go. But it might be nice…"

It's not the 'leaving do' I don't want; I don't want to leave policing period. Robbie thought, though he didn't have the heart to tell that to Laura yet.

"In any case, Hathaway doesn't know what he's missing," Lizzie said.

"Yeah, he does. I reckon he planned his holidays around missing this event."

"So, which one of these blokes do you think is the mysterious and fabled Mr. Innocent?" Lizzie wondered aloud.

"Judging from the Innocent's red-sequined stiletto heels and the matching jacket that's been left at that table up near the stage, I'd guess that he's that one right there." Robbie said, indicating a gentleman whose face was glowing in the dark- not beaming with pride as his wife belted out Waterloo, but rather literally reflecting light from the screen of his mobile phone from which he did not look up.

"I do wonder where she got those shoes," Lizzie said. "Maybe she fancies herself Dorothy Gale."

"Or perhaps she's the Wicked Witch of the East, before the fall, of course." Laura responded.

"Now, Laura. She's not so bad." Robbie chided her. Robbie was grateful to Innocent for championing him in the last year whereas Laura still somewhat resented Innocent's role in bringing Robbie back to CID.

"Mr. Innocent looks bored, Robbie," said Laura. "I think that we should go introduce ourselves."

"Laura, I really don't want…" began Robbie, but Laura was already pulling him out of his seat and then pushing him ahead of her. Lizzie wondered how someone so petite could exert such force over the likes of Lewis.

"Mr. Innocent? I'm DI Robbie Lewis, and this is Dr. Laura Hobson our forensic pathologist. We've worked with Chief Super Innocent for a long time now and will certainly miss her. Are you looking forward to Suffolk?"

The man looked up from his mobile for a moment and shrugged. "I spend most of my time in London anyway." He answered noncommittally and looked down again.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your name?" Laura asked.

"Forgive me. I'm…." A waitress dropped a tray of glasses, causing a shattering commotion. "…Innocent. Pleased to meet you."

"What was that?" Laura tried again in vain. On the small raised platform that served as a stage, Jean Innocent was making a segue into Dancing Queen.

"Excuse me, I think that this is getting out of hand." Mr. Innocent brushed past them and approached the stage. "Enough, Jean. You're making a spectacle of yourself and me. Get off the stage."

Jean Innocent made a sour face. "No. This is my night. Take it or leave it." Her husband went to sit back down and immersed himself in the glow of his mobile once more.

Laura and Robbie also retreated back to their table. "So?" asked Lizzie.

Laura shook her head. "He's a cold fish, I'm afraid. He doesn't seem very supportive. Robbie, as the senior detective figure here, I really think that you need to say something on all of our behalf."

"No way. Speech-writing is Hathaway's job." But Laura continued to goad Robbie through a few more songs. Innocent finally decided to take a break and handed the microphone over to Gurdip. Before Robbie knew it, Laura and Lizzie had press-ganged him up onto the stage and he was taking the microphone from Gurdip. Bollocks, thought Robbie as he looked at the substantial crowd that had gathered.

Robbie cleared his throat awkwardly. "Good evening. The people of Oxfordshire are safer because of…"

He was cut off by the crowd chanting "Sing! Sing! Sing!"

"What? No. I'm not going to sing." He looked at Laura for moral support and she made an encouraging 'get on with it' gesture. She had even supplied him with an appropriate pun. "I'm here to 'witness' to you how much we all appreciate Jean Innocent's talents and devotion to…"

But the crowd grew restless and Laura mouthed 'sorry, Robbie' before she buried her head in her hands. Fortunately, Robbie was rescued by DI Alan Peterson who had jumped onto stage with him.

"Robbie Lewis, everyone!" Peterson said as he clapped Lewis on the back. "Now, I'd like to dedicate a special song to Jean Innocent and her lovely police station."

Though he was glad to be off the stage, Robbie was extremely annoyed by Peterson on an existential level. Everyone was impressed by Peterson's rendition of 'Jailhouse Rock.' Even Laura was making her doe-eyes at Peterson as she listened. Robbie glared at Laura.

"What?" She said, catching his glare. "You could sing Elvis too, Robbie. That's your age bracket after all."

"Enough, Laura. I think this old man is ready to call it a night before you get me into any more trouble." Robbie said. Laura conceded and they got their coats. They went to say goodbye to Innocent.

"Robbie," Innocent said as he took her hands. "Thank you. It was a pleasure."

"The pleasure was all mine, ma'am."

"You'll have no excuses not to obey your lovely Laura now."

"Doesn't he know it!" Laura declared triumphantly.

"I always knew." Innocent said. "The two you of you belong together…" she trailed off wistful for the love that she had once shared with Mr. Innocent.

"Best of luck, Jean." Laura said.

"And to you, Laura. Good night, and thanks for all the corpses."

Later on that night, Laura was slathering herself in moisturizing creams before crawling into bed alongside Robbie, who was reading. Or rather, he was pretending to read; Laura recognized all too well the melancholy face that Robbie was making as he pondered his ghosts.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just thinking is all."

"Out with it, Robbie."

"Well I can't help but think that Jean Innocent deserves better."

"I don't know, Chief Constable of Suffolk is a pretty plum promotion."

"No, I mean Mr. Innocent, whatever the hell his name is. He certainly doesn't appreciate her."

"I imagine that she's not the gentle lass that she used to be and he's intimidated by the woman she's become." Robbie detected the voice of experience in Laura's assessment. She had weathered a few relationships before Robbie'd come into her life permanently.

"I promise I'd never do anything so foolish to you," he said.

"No, never, Robbie. You'd never do anything as monumentally insensitive as going back to work without even thinking to consult me."

"Come now, Laura. I still rub your back and make your supper like a good pensioner should, though admittedly I do one better than the other." He reached around her and began to gently knead her shoulders.

"Just promise me that you won't go inquiring if they need any consulting inspectors in Suffolk." Laura's intuition detected that Robbie might yet throw her for a loop.

"I wouldn't dare, Laura."

"I know that you were bored in retirement, but it'll be different when we're both retired. I'll keep you busy; that's a promise. We'll spend time with your kids, travel, garden, and best of all, just lay around the house together."

Robbie was silent, though he continued his back rub.

Laura asked, "well, are you going to say something?"

Instead, Robbie wrapped his arms around Laura and began to hum in her ear. At first, he lingered on a single note, then he raised his voice by a fifth, then returned to the first note.

"What are you doing, Robbie?"

"Will you hush up, love? I'm trying to sing you some Elvis." This was the last thing that Laura had expected Robbie to say. Robbie reprised his three tones, this time adding the lyrics.

"Take… my… hand…" Laura's face burst into a smile that accentuated all the lines of her face. "Take my whole life too."

"Oh Robbie," Laura cooed as she turned to face him.

"For I can't help falling in love with you."

"I know that I don't say it enough, Laura, but I do love you."

"I know you do, Robbie."

She reached over him to put out the light then laid her body on top of his. She gave him a passionate kiss in the dark.

"And I love you too."

Author Note: Sorry, Innocent fans. I tried to write a Jean story, but Robbie and Laura ended up in bed together. Jean Innocent will be back in a later installment. But we have many stepping stones to cross before that chapter. As Robbie and James said in the airport, you have to get there first. My updates will be sporadic as time permits, but each chapter is a stand-alone tale or missing scene. I promise not to leave any of Oxford's finest dangling off a cliff between installments! Well, maybe Peterson. ;)