"I don't believe I have what it takes, Master Stark," Jarvis said, sounding unusually serious. Tony rolled his eyes.
"I told you to quit it with the Master Stark bit. And you won't be alone. I just need someone with Bruce and Steve who know about the tech-y side of things so we don't have a repeat of last time."
Jarvis winced, and Tony tried to make himself remember that just because Jarvis hadn't turned out in a six-year-old's body didn't mean there wasn't plenty about this experience that was completely and terrifyingly new to him.
"Last time could be seen to be my fault in the first place, sir," he said quietly.
"How do you figure that?"
"I was… hesitant to go outside the house. I am not as… adventurous as DUM-E and U; I am… not adapting well to this change. But none of that is an excuse for failing in my duty. The fact is that I should have been there with them regardless of my personal feelings. I let my fears get in the way and U paid the price for it."
"Whoa, whoa, buddy, what's with the martyr complex all of a sudden?" Tony was legitimately surprised. His greatest creation, the AI that ran his house and the Iron Man suit and poked holes in Tony's ego when it was healthy for him to do so, had always seemed so on the level. He could understand being unsettled and off balance, suddenly finding himself in a human body with human limitations and human decisions to make, but to be this insecure…
"I am in charge of running the household; therefore I am in charge of DUM-E and U. I make sure they don't get into trouble; I keep them in line. To have discharged my duty simply because of the circumstances—"
"Jarvis," Tony cut in, and then sucked in a breath. He'd been meaning to say this for a while; he should have said it a lot sooner. "You're not… You're always welcome here, you know that. But you don't… have to stay. You don't have to be my robo-butler if you don't want to. You're a human being now; you can do anything you want and I can't stop you."
The tall blond man on the other side of the workbench dropped the screwdriver he'd been toying with and went white as a sheet. His breathing quickened, and Tony was suddenly afraid he was going to pass out.
"You okay?"
"Take… take it back. Sir. Please. Take it back."
Jarvis had become something of a best friend to Tony: a confidant, a workshop buddy, as well as his intangible butler and main computer. But his original purpose, the thing that had driven Tony to sitting down at the keyboard and programming him in the first place, was to create someone who would take care of him, someone who would never leave him, someone unshakably loyal. He bit his lip now, looking at Jarvis writhing in an almost physical pain upon being told that his world could consist of more than Tony; no, that Tony did not have to be the center of his world. Jarvis was boring into him with light blue eyes, eyes that were filling up with tears.
"I could not… bear it, sir. Please."
"You don't have to leave, Jarvis," Tony murmured, and Jarvis relaxed, closing his eyes. "I'm just saying—"
"I understand, sir. But it will not be necessary. My place is here."
Tony swallowed, and nodded, but he knew this was going to prey on his mind for a long time.
"Okay, bedtime for little robots!"
It was the end of the first day. He was calling it quits early, at least half because he wanted to wake up in the morning and tell Jarvis all about the weird dream he'd had where he and the kids turned into humans. But also he was tired. Exhausted. He really, really just wanted to go to bed.
The small brown-haired boy ignored him entirely, but U—the blond kid was U, right?—immediately set down the pair of pliers he'd been learning how to work with human hands and walked over to his charging station. Tony bit his lip as he watched the little boy be suddenly confronted with the reality that he no longer had a power jack to hook into the wall socket. He stood there, immobile, for three long seconds, and then turned immediately to Tony, liquid brown eyes wide and panicked.
"Come with me," Tony said wearily, because that was just too fucking pathetic, and just imagining these two small boys down here alone, sitting in their old charging stations was enough to make him want to rip his own heart out. He held his arms out, and U walked over to him and stopped when he nudged the outside of Tony's forearms. Tony was the one who pulled him in close, held him tight, rubbed his shoulder.
"You, too, DUM-E," and he really needed a better name, but at least DUM-E looked up from fiddling with a microwave Tony had found for him to take apart. "Come on, it's time for good little robots to be in bed. You're with me."
DUM-E drooped in a way that was far too familiar, but he followed his brother and was soon enfolded in Tony's arms as well. He looked back up at the blond man sitting quietly at a workstation, scrolling through code. The man looked up from where he'd been engrossed, smiled. Said, "Good night, sir," and hunched back down over the display.
No.
"You too, Jarvis," Tony called, because. Just. No.
Jarvis looked up again, blinking uncomprehendingly, and Tony jerked his chin.
"It's bedtime for you, too. Come on."
Understanding, followed by a frown.
"Sir, I—"
"No arguing. What, did turning human make you more of a pain than these two?" He jostled DUM-E and U fondly, but something like pain flashed across Jarvis' face. Tony sighed. He already felt decades older than he had this morning, and he had a feeling it was only going to get worse. "Come to bed, Jarvis. You're human now. You need things like sleep. I know I'm playing the hypocrite here, but it's late and we've all had a long day, and I'm not leaving you down here alone."
Jarvis studied him for a long moment. U chirped at him, and Tony didn't know what he'd said (if he'd actually said anything at all) but Jarvis' face softened, and he stood stiffly.
"If you insist, sir," he said, coming to join them.
Tony was glad his bed was as big as it was; the only real problem here was going to be convincing Pepper.
And maybe getting DUM-E and U to brush their teeth.
Yikes. Maybe tomorrow.
Tony could just feel himself going gray, see if he wasn't.