Chapter 2: Azrael and Lacus- The Grim Reaper vs. The Pink Princess
Disclaimer: Still no ownage…except for the insanity…that's all me.
"I'm so glad you seem to be getting along with the haros. Shinn hated them because Athrun made them and he hates Athrun. I didn't think Athrun would ever do any harm with them, but apparently he snuck cameras into everyone's house and then made them attack Shinn. Oh well." Lacus sighed.
"They don't seem that bad, they're just little balls of joy trying to take over the world just like me. We actually have a lot in common." Azrael replied.
"Excuse me?" she asked, thinking she heard something out of place in his sentence.
"Oh, nothing dear." He replied. "Just the effects of the brainwashing."
"Brainwashing? Who? Where?" she asked, looking around nervously.
"Oh you silly girl, nobody is getting brainwashed! Now go back to whatever it was you were doing while I tell the haros of my evil plan." He said and shooed her away.
Lacus had a strange expression on her face as she was trying to understand why Azrael kept saying weird things.
"Hehehe, she had fun brainwashing Shinn, but she should have known better than to mess with the master! I can slip any time I want and she'll never know what I'm talking about!" Azrael said and laughed.
"Destruction. Haro want destruction." The pink haro in front of him said and jumped around.
"Later! First we have to spring your creator out of jail, since I can't figure out how to command you."
"Creator is Athrun. Must free Athrun!" Mr. Pink replied and the rest of the haros joined in the chant.
"Now, how to free a geek from jail…hmmm…" Azrael thought.
"I can still hear you, ya know, and I'm not a geek." Athrun's voice resonated from the pink haro.
Azrael fell over after screaming like a girl since Athrun's voice startled him.
"Oh right, sorry. I forgot you were still there. Got any ideas?" Azrael spoke into Mr. Pink.
"Yeah, we're working on it. Bring a few haros to the jail; actually, get Lacus to bring some haros. That would look less suspicious." Athrun replied.
"If we had a car I could crash through the bars!" another voice piped up.
"How would you get a car into this tiny cell? YOU'RE SO STUPID!" another voice yelled and sounds of a struggle were heard.
"ANDY WANT COFFEE!" a man screamed.
Athrun started yelling and telling the guys to shut up as Azrael stared in wonder at the many voices coming from the small haro in front of him. He poked it and asked, "How many people can you fit in this thing? It sure looks small!"
"You retard, we're not actually inside the haro! I have a microphone that's connected to the haro so I can communicate. Jeez, am I the only smart one here?" Athrun said.
"Uh, is that a multiple choice question? If so I choose C. The answer is always C. Unless it isn't. Then it's not. But usually it's C. Is it C?" Azrael asked.
"Nuh uh the answer is always SMASH INTO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR CAR!" Auel yelled.
"WILL YOU QUIT YELLING ABOUT CARS! YOU NEVER HAD YOUR LICENSE ANYWAY!" Rey yelled back.
"ANDY STILL WANT COFFEE! COOOFFFFEEE!" Andy screamed again.
"Ugh, I'm surrounded by idiots." Athrun groaned.
"I'M NOT AN IDIOT! DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT YOUR OTHER LEG?" Rey bellowed.
"YEAH! AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET THROWN IN JAIL FOR PUTTING CAMERAS IN EVERYONE'S HOUSE BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND RATTED ME OUT!" Auel shouted.
"You got thrown in jail because you drive like a little kid playing a video game and sucking badly because he didn't have COFFEE!" Andy yelled.
"GUARD! HE'S GONNA SHOOT MY OTHER LEG! HELP ME!" Athrun screamed.
Mr. Pink started shaking and twitching as sparks flew out. Azrael started backing away slowly as Lacus ran in.
"Okay I know I'm going crazy but I could have sworn I heard Athrun screaming, along with some other guys that sounded familiar." She said as she rushed in.
"RUN AWAY! IT'S GONNA BLOW!" he cried and crashed through the window into the yard.
"Well that was unnecessary." Lacus said and glanced at the door right next to the now smashed window.
"Malfunction. Malfunction. Self-destruct sequence in five, four, three-," Mr. Pink started to say.
Lacus's eyes flew wide. "OH SHIZ!" she screamed and jumped through the window.
They lay on the ground covering their heads with their hands for a few minutes until they realized nothing happened.
"Go see what's going on!" Azrael said and shoved her towards the door.
"No! You go see!" she replied and threw him into the house through the window.
"AHHHHHH!" he screamed as he flew into the house and landed on his face right in front of Mr. Pink.
He scrambled away and then peered at the pink mechanical ball curiously. It wasn't moving or trying to self-destruct, so he got a stick from outside and poked it a few times.
"Haro! Haro! Mr. Pink, reporting for duty!" it said and he screamed again.
"Will you quit screaming like a girl? People are going to think you're beating me up!" Lacus yelled as she walked through the door. "Athrun must have stopped the self-destruct sequence just in time. I can't believe we just smashed our window for no reason! CURSE YOU ATHRUIN ZALA!"
"It's not my fault! These freaks tackled me and I had the remote on me so they kept hitting buttons while trying to kill me!" Athrun yelled.
"WE'RE NOT FREAKS!" all three men yelled.
"I still want my coffee." Andy cried.
"Okay well, we gotta go so bye!" Azrael said quickly and turned the haro off. He looked at his wife with a big sheepish grin, hoping she wouldn't realize what was going on.
The Pink Princess was turning red as she gave him the Death Glare of DOOM.
"Azrael. Were you just speaking with Athrun through Mr. Pink?" she growled.
"Yes." He squeaked.
"Were you plotting to free him from jail in order to go about some evil scheme to take over the world using the haros?" she growled again.
"Yes." He squeaked in an even higher pitched voice.
"And did you brainwash me in order to keep me from knowing?"
"….maybe…"
Lacus raised an eyebrow.
"OKAY YES! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I JUST WANT TO RULE THE WORLD! WAAAAAAA!" he cried and clung to her feet.
"TO THE BASEMENT!" she screamed.
"NO! NOT THE BASEMENT!" he screamed louder and she dragged him into the basement and brainwashed him.
Later on…
Lacus was sitting in a chair humming and knitting when she heard screaming from next door. Azrael was sitting next to her staring out of the broken window.
"I wonder what that could be." Lacus said. "Honey? Would you be a dear and see what's going on next door?"
"Sure thing, sweetie." He said and got up.
They heard cat noises and he stopped. "Oh, it must just be some cats. I'll get a beer bottle to throw at them."
"Try not to hurt them please, I really like cats." Lacus called after him as he went into the kitchen.
He grabbed a bottle then went outside and chucked it at the noise, but then saw that is was Cagalli and Murrue fighting.
"Ooo, me likey." He said and grabbed the hose. He sprayed the dirt around them to create mud and watched in the bushes as they continued to fight. Then he saw a news crew drive up and set up their cameras.
"As you can see, there is a cat-fight-mud-wrestling-contest going on in Destiny Oaks between two wives. The reason for the fight is unknown, but the neighbors are sure getting a treat tonight!" the reporter said into the camera as Cagalli and Murrue continued fighting behind her.
'Hmmm, she looks familiar…that black hair…' he thought as he watched. He laughed when the girls turned on the reporter, then started rolling around clutching his stomach as they attacked the cameraman and started destroying everything.
"What were we fighting about again?" Murrue asked.
"I dunno." Cagalli said and shrugged. They hugged and then started making out.
"Woohoo!" Azrael called from the bushes as he watched.
He saw Murrue grab something and then…
Bam!
"Ow…"
Thud!
"Honey? Are you alright?"
"YEAH TOAST!"
Lacus sighed. "Cagalli and Murrue must be fighting again. Azrael needs to stop watching YouTube videos or what's left of his brain cells will disintegrate."
"Hey! That's a funny video!" I called.
"It's about toast and some construction workers dying! It's stupid!" Lacus called back.
"Exactly! It's hilarious!" I replied and started laughing.
Lacus sighed and continued knitting as the van exploded. Then she heard more screaming.
"Oh my…I skipped a row."
-Author's Note: And so the craziness continues! No one reviewed at all, which makes me sad, but I figure I might as well update something, and since I had already typed this all up after uploading the last chapter, I can update! Yay! NOW GET TO GUESSING AND REVIEW DAMNIT! (coughs) Ahem, sorry about that…please review and tell me what you think. It's winter time so flames are accepted…PEACE OUT!-