WARNING: A few Cybertronian curses and sensitive subject. Eeer... that's all.

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II.

Arcee looked down guiltily as she knocked on the door of Ratchet's quarters. Everybody except for June and Optimus stood behind her and waited for a response from inside. When She and Bulkhead arrived back successfully from the energon hunt, June told them and the children what happened, and even though she told them Ratchet was better now, they all wanted to see how he was doing. Arcee couldn't calm down until she saw with her own optics that their medic was really alright - she couldn't get away with the guilt and needed to speak to him.

She felt like a sparkling who needed reassurance that she didn't do anything bad. No response came for a while and the 'bots thought Ratchet was still in recharge when he finally called out for them to come in. Arcee opened the door, but neither of them dared take a step inside just yet; Ratchet was slowly sitting up on his berth, his optics were a little dim as it seemed he had just come out of recharge. When he saw the bunch of Autobots and humans at his door, Ratchet let out a small chuckle.

"You can all come in." he said, his voice sounded a bit tired still, "I know you're all dying to ask how I feel."

Arcee was the first to go inside and she was followed by the others. No one said anything for a while until the small femme spoke up.

"Ratchet, we are sorry." she began, and surprise ran along the medic's features.

"Why?"

"We should have taken better care." she answered and looked down again, "We shouldn't have made you drink that high-grade."

"Yes, Ratchet," spoke up Jack and stepped beside Arcee, "We didn't want this. If only I knew-"

Ratchet raised a servo to stop him. He sighed deeply before he looked up to the group, "I shouldn't have accepted." he said, "It's not your fault. Believe me, the high-grade had nothing to do with this. Maybe I... didn't even have a hangover, those were all just forerunners of the seizure."

The others came closer, Bulkhead and Bumblebee sat down on the floor with Miko and Raf in their hands while Arcee sat down on the berth beside Ratchet. "So..." she began uncertainly, as if she didn't want to say the words, "it's an illness?"

The medic nodded slowly. "Most likely." he replied, "Something was malfunctioning in my processor. I'll... have to make examinations to find out what."

"Is it serious?" Bulkhead asked, earning another sigh from Ratchet. The mech knew it would be no use keeping secrets from his comrades - after all, if it really meant a severe illness, he needed them to know what was happening and needed their help.

"Maybe." Ratchet finally answered, but raised a servo, "But there's a chance that it's nothing, that I was merely... exhausted. I need to make a diagnosis. I can't say anything until then. I just need a little more recharge, and I'll be alright. Would somebody get me energon? My tanks are almost empty."

Bumblebee got up immediately, almost dropping Raf with the sudden movement. He beeped an apology and hurried out of the room to get a fresh cube of energon for Ratchet. The others got up as well and slowly exited the medic's quarters to let him have some rest - only Miko stayed. Throughout the visit, she was strangely quiet, too quiet for Ratchet's liking. He knew her enough and this silence meant something was very wrong, but he didn't know if it was because she was scared like the others or ill like him.

Primus, no! Ratchet didn't need anyone else to worry about right now.

"Ratchet?" the Japanese girl's voice snapped him back to reality. Miko stood in front of him and Ratchet reached down to pick her up and the mech placed her on the berth besides himself.

"I can reassure you, Miko, that I am fine now. Just a bit low on energy." the medic stated before Miko could say or asked anything. That was when Bumblebee knocked on the door and stepped in to give Ratchet the cube of energon he requested and went out again.

Miko just nodded and looked down. Ratchet frowned; there was definitely something wrong with her. "Is there something else?"

"Yeah." the girl answered and finally looked up to meet the Autobot's optics. Ratchet took a sip from the cube and looked at her expectantly. Miko continued, "You know that on Jack's birthday, a month ago... we held a party then with some of our friends and all... and on that party, we got a little... drunk."

Ratchet stayed silent and waited for her to continue. She did, "And, you know... me and Jack just... well, it just happened." she threw up her arms in despair, "I... I missed my period and for the past few days I felt strange. I made a pregnancy test and it's... positive."

The medic almost spat out the energon from his mouth. He was by then somewhat familiar with human biology and for one, he knew what that meant. It was the human equivalent of being sparked, which meant that the girl sitting next to him, the loud and brash, barely sixteen-year-old girl was having a sparkling - a baby, as the humans called it.

"Aren't you too young to be a carrier?" Ratchet asked, he couldn't hide his confusion.

"I am." Miko nodded and looked down again, "That's why I told you..."

"You want me to terminate it?" the mech asked softly. He knew it was a painful subject for femmes, and he got many requests to abort unborn sparklings during the war - no one wanted to bring a new life into a dying world. It was almost natural, and he didn't feel remorse over it anymore. Just an everyday procedure, though there were some who couldn't bring themselves to abort their sparkling even in times like those.

The way Miko looked up at him didn't clear anything. The girl's eyes were teary, but she didn't look angry. Just desperate.

"I thought about that, too." she finally answered, "but no... I can't bring myself to do that. I told you this because you are the best doctor in the world and... today, before all this seizure-thing started I wanted to ask you... to be my doctor."

Ratchet just starred at her for a long moment. "Miko," he started quietly and slowly, "you do realize that I am not a human doctor. I'm a Cybertronian medic and not an expert on human biology. Especially not human pregnancies. June would be a better choice to ask-"

"She's just a nurse!" Miko exclaimed, "And you are the best, Ratchet! I mean, I know you're not a human doctor, but... I guess I shouldn't ask you something like this when you're ill, right?"

"It's not that," Ratchet's voice suddenly grew gentle, "I would help you through it, but it's not that simple. It's been eons since the last time I helped to deliver a sparkling and... you'll have to tell June anyway. If what you said is true, then it's the child of her son. Have you told Jack?"

Miko shook her head, "You're the first. I... I know you wouldn't want another human at the base, especially not a crying baby, and now you have bigger problems than me. But I don't trust any doctor as much as you."

"I appreciate that, but..." he sighed. "I'll have to talk to June. But you have to... talk to her... first."

Miko frowned in confusion as Ratchet's servo that was holding the energon cube froze in midair and he starred at a point on the wall. His optics were wide and mouth slightly open as if he had just seen a ghost.

Maybe he did.

"Ratchet?" Miko asked, her heart was beating fast in fear the mech would get another seizure, "Ratchet, are you alright?"

The medic almost jumped when the girl spoke. "Fine, fine, I'm just... fine." he picked Miko up in a hurry and placed her carefully on the floor, "I need to rest." he said and looked back up at the empty point on the wall. Miko followed his gaze, but she couldn't see anything extraordinary. She figured it was really for the better to leave the doc alone for a while and she hurried out of the room.

Yes, she couldn't have seen what he saw. Ratchet, in fact, wasn't starring at the wall, but at what - or who - stood before him. The femme was tall, almost the same height as him, her chassis was silver and dark blue, like her name. The lack of insignia indicated she was a Neutral and the body style gave away her Paradronian origins. Her optics glowed a light blue and a playful smile rested on her lips. A smile Ratchet hadn't seen for many eons, because the one it belonged to was dead.

"Nightfall..." Ratchet whispered as he stood up carefully. He was now sure something was really wrong with his processor, but he couldn't care less at the moment. His spark fluttered in his chamber as the femme took a step forward to stand in front of him. "You're a hallucination, aren't you?"

The image of his long-dead mate chuckled a little. "I'm as real as you want me to be." and with that, she touched her lips to Ratchet's in a gentle kiss.

Miko knew Ratchet was right, but she truly didn't know what to expect. There was no way she was going to tell her host parents, they would contact her real parents and they would want her to go home - or worse, they would never allow her to go home anymore. But she didn't know what to expect from June. The woman would definitely freak out, but she came to accept the Autobots; maybe she could accept this, too, after a while.

And Jack...

Miko knocked on the door of Darbys' house and squeezed the little box she was holding in her hand. She had never felt so nervous in her life and wished this all - her pregnancy, Ratchet's illness - hadn't happened at all. Jack opened the door and smiled when he saw her.

"Hy, Miko! Come in."

Miko stepped inside the house and looked around. "Is your mom home?"

"No, but she'll come home soon." Jack replied, "Why?"

"I need to talk to you." Miko said quietly. Jack just nodded and led her to his room. He could see something was wrong.

"So? What is it?"

The Japanese girl shifted from one leg to the other. "Do you remember your birthday party? The first one."

Jack blushed and simply nodded. They had talked about that before and settled things. They knew it was just a drunk action, after all, they didn't love each other more than friends. Jack always considered Miko a great friend, but nothing more, and it was alright like that. Miko felt the same - she knew she could trust Jack and didn't feel anything more, not even now as she gave the little box to the boy.

Jack looked surprised, but took the box and opened it - and got the shock of his life when he picked up the positive pregnancy test. Miko watched his reaction and it was just like hers. Jack's face went white as he looked up at her then back to the test; sweat formed on his brow and his hand trembled when he finally looked up again at Miko.

"So, now... I'm going to be a father?"

Miko nodded, her face had gone pale as well. Jack's gaze travelled to her still-flat lower abdomen.

"Are you... angry?" she asked quietly, and Jack seemed to snap back to reality.

"What? Angry?" he asked with a confused frown, "Why would I be angry? I mean... yeah, it was kinda... unexpected, but I'm not angry at all."

At that moment, the front door opened and soon after that, June's voice could be heard as she said hello to her son. Jack stood up, still holding the positive test in his hand tightly. He imagined there was an equally scared expression on his face like the one he saw on Miko's, but he grabbed the Japanese girl's arm gently.

"She has to know. She's a nurse, she can help you."

"Are you sure you want this?"

Jack sighed, "I kept a secret from her once and it almost resulted in her being killed. I swore on that day that I won't keep secrets from her anymore."

"What secret?"

June stood at the door of Jack's room. She held a thick book in her hand titled 'Neurological diseases with seizures' and she looked quite tired. Jack sighed and glanced at Miko - the girl nodded and Jack gave the test to his mother.

Just one glance at it told June everything - she buried her face in her palm and turned away. The nurse collapsed on a chair in the kitchen and the two teenagers followed her. Jack could tell from the little tremors that ran through her body that she was crying. He put a hand on his mother's shoulder, though he knew nothing would calm her down now.

"Did you really need this?!" she finally exclaimed and looked up at the children, "You think I needed this now?! You are just teenagers! You are both so immature and irresponsible! What were you thinking?!"

Neither of them could say anything for a while and June forced herself to calm down. She felt just like back when she got to know Jack spent time with giant robots, that his motorcycle was in fact an intelligent female robot - the total loss of control gripped her heart. First Ratchet, now this... she wasn't ready for this. But she needed to be collected, after all these children must have been even more scared than her, but it didn't help her anger. She wiped the tears from her face and gestured to the teenagers to sit down as well.

"What do you want to do now?" she asked, her voice was still hoarse and low, "Abortion? Adoption?"

Miko looked down. "I... thought about abortion, but... No, I can't do that."

"I wouldn't forgive myself either." Jack joined in. His mother's face was still red and she looked more tired than ever.

"No, I guess you're right." she whispered and looked down at the test again, "So, you say I'm going to be a grandmother. Great, really. Just great. My ever mature and heroic son... I can't tell you how disappointed I am."

It took a while before she turned to Miko and continued, "I'll get you a doctor, Miko, and I'll take you to the hospital for an examination."

"I..." Miko began, "I already asked Ratchet. And he agreed."

She recieved the same stare from June Ratchet gave her earlier. "Miko," June sighed, "Ratchet is Cybertronian. And sick right now. He's not capable of handling a human pregnancy."

"But it's not a bad idea." Jack spoke up, "You could provide Ratchet with books. After all, if something happens to Miko while we're at the base, he has to know what to do."

June sighed. Yes, that one was right, but still... All June wanted was to wake up and see that it was all just a bad dream, all that happened that day. It just couldn't be real.

It was well in the evening, but Ratchet still couldn't recharge. He locked his door and turned back to the femme who was now sitting on his berth. Nightfall didn't look like a ghost, in fact, Ratchet was shocked to discover that he could even touch her and he walked back to her immediately. He felt a strange numbness in his legs, and almost fell on the berth. He pushed Nightfall down with himself and kissed her again forcefully, earning a soft moan from his mate. He then broke the kiss and started laughing almost histerically.

"I can't believe it." he said and shook his head, "I can even taste you! You're dead! Frag it, you're dead!"

"Yet I'm here." Nightfall whispered gently. She made no attempt to get the bigger mech off her fragile chassis, didn't even try to get more comfortable.

"But why?!" asked Ratchet angrily.

"Maybe because you want me to be here." came the answer and Ratchet snorted.

"No." he said darkly, "I didn't want this. You are a hallucination... image, sound and senses that my processor wants me to believe I really feel, but you're not real. My slagging processor generates you. There must be something... something really wrong with me."

His voice softened by the time he finished talking. Nightfall put a gentle hand on his face. "You are the greatest medic in Cybertron's history. I am sure you can figure it out."

"You were a medic, too. That's why you're here? To help me figure it out? Or just to confuse me?"

"Or to make you happy."

The silver and blue femme raised her helm to kiss Ratchet again, much gentlier than he did earlier. Ratchet felt a pleasent shiver run down his backstrut and he let his servos travel down his lost mate's body, all the smooth curves of her chassis. It was just as he remembered and Ratchet felt a lustful heat fill his mind. He planted kisses on Nightfall's face and neck cables and travelled further down to her spark chamber. He felt an instant, intense need in his spark to join with hers and he let his chestplates slide open. The room lit up with the brighteness of his spark and was soon joined with the light of his mate's spark.

Ratchet threw back his helm and bit his lips to force back a loud groan - his spark reached out to the image of Nightfall and heavenly joy filled his every joint. He had never felt such a thing for eons and now that he could feel it again, he didn't want to let it go. Even if it was just his faulty processor playing with him, he grasped his sparkmate's arms and pulled her closer to himself. With a giant burst of light it ended and left Ratchet trembling in exhaustion.

Nightfall kissed him again after their chestplates slid back to place and Ratchet felt her small hand caress his lower abdomen, sending a new wave of arousal down to that part of his body. Ratchet pressed himself more against her and let her do whatever she wanted with him. He kissed her hungrily and slid his own servo down to her thighs. He felt the heat collecting at his lower abdomen and he wanted to have her, wanted her badly, more than anything...

Ratchet broke the kiss and sighed. "No." he whispered, "It won't work."

"If you want it, it will." Nightfall asked him, "I love you."

"No, I mean... literally." Ratchet sighed again and looked down at his legs. "I can't get an erection."

Nightfall pulled her servo up to his face and caressed it softly. "I know."

"Is it... another symptom?"

"Maybe."

Ratchet noted his whole body was trembling and he felt strange numbness in his pedes and servos. Weakness washed over him, but he didn't want to collapse on Nightfall, even if she was just a hallucination. He felt his mate's thin fingers travel down his chin and she raised her head up to whisper in his audio.

"Do you remember a girl named Starshadow?"

"Starshadow?"

Suddenly, Nightfall was gone and Ratchet let himself collapse on the berth. He curled and uncurled his fingers to get back some sensitivity and looked around in search for his mate. She was standing beside the berth and looked down at him, her optics glowed like ghost lamps in the dark, like two little stars in the night. Ratchet reached out his servo to touch her, but found that he couldn't hold his arm up far enough, like something was blocking his joint to move any more. The medic let his arm fall back on the berth and the moment it touched the surface, sharp pain shot through the limb.

Ratchet winced, but his features softened when he felt Nightfall's hand on his face again. He looked up at her to see her smile back.

"Search your memory banks." she said quietly, "You will know."

"Why did you have to die?"

"It wasn't your fault, Ratchet. I always loved you."

"Don't go away." the medic whispered pitifully, but Nightfall was gone once more.

And the warmth was gone as well - all that remained was the numbness and pain, and the emptiness of the night.