Thanks for all your encouraging feedback on the prologue, you guys!

Breaking Insanity

Chapter 2 – The Unforgiven

People say that time heals all wounds. Looking down at a very familiar grave, Kakashi could only think about how false that saying was.

The pain never disappeared. Sure; the sharp, cutting agony ebbed away and left an aching emptiness behind, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Kakashi knew.

He had never been through a war of any form, never starvation and he had only known peace all his life. Yet for someone only eighteen years old, he knew losses far too well. It wasn't comparable though, not comparable to any of the real problems in this world – Kakashi didn't like pitying himself and whenever the urge hit him he felt guilty. He had lost, sure, but death reached every soul sooner or later. It was inevitable, and he could only accept it and move on.

His grey eyes looked down at the flowers he held in his hand and accidentally swept over his watch, realizing that he had already been here for more than two hours. If he wanted to catch his bus he needed to get going.

"I'm leaving," he said as he put down the flowers. "I'm going to the same college my dad went to, so I'm moving back to the city. I promise I will visit every once a while, though. Maybe if I can patch things up with Obito we could visit together. I wish I had more time, but I have to go. Goodbye, Rin."

Kakashi turned around and followed the small path that led out from the countryside graveyard. After closing the rusty gate behind him, he walked back to his grandfather's house. Autumn was near. The leaves were still green, but the air was cooler and the sun not as warm anymore. It wouldn't take long for the landscape to turn in to a pallet of yellow, orange and red shades. Kakashi wished he could stay to see the change in season. The birches along the roadside were yellowing; fallen leaves already decorated the road and rustled under his feet.

He had always liked this time of the year. The air was fresh and clear and he didn't get his pale skin burned. Autumn seemed more solemn than summer. It didn't have the delicate prettiness of the winter or the lush, rich beauty of summer, but to Kakashi it had its own charm. To think about the grey, washed-out city felt at the moment rather depressing.

Many saw fall as the time of death and ironically that seemed to match up with Kakashi as well. After all, death followed him like a dark shadow wherever he went.

No. He shouldn't think like that. All teenagers, all adults went through highs and lows in their lives, and if Kakashi had gotten many valleys, it must only mean that things were soon to turn upwards.

He had a good life and a lot of things to be happy about.

Kakashi turned to the right of the brown dirt-road, stopping at his neighbor's place – Obito's old home – on his way back. Even since Obito left, Kakashi still visited his parents every now and then. He hoped maybe Obito would be back one day, or if nothing else that there would be news about how he was doing.

Unfortunately, Obito was never home and what little news there were not good ones.

Obito had started hanging out with 'bad kids' or so his parents told him. By the end of high school he had been arrested several times for illegal driving, drug dealing, violence, abuse and treats. Though Kakashi hardly believed half of what Obito was accused for, it was obvious he had gotten in bad company. He wanted to help him, but there was only so much he could do when Obito had cut off all contact with him and they lived miles away from each other. He hoped that now that he was going to Amegakure he could fix what had been broken and help Obito to find the right path in life again. He didn't think Obito wanted to see him but he couldn't help but to try. It was clear that Obito could use some help. Perhaps after all these years, Obito would find it in him to forgive his childhood friend.

Maybe this would be the turning point for both of them.

Kakashi knocked on the wooden door and shortly after it opened, revealing a dark-haired woman in her late thirties. She lit up in a way that strongly resembled the bright smiles Obito used to have when she recognized Kakashi.

"Hello again, Kakashi."

"Mrs. Uchiha?"

The woman shook her head gently. "I really wish you'd stop calling me that," she said as she walked into the house again, leaving the door open. "I've got it, Kakashi. Just wait a minute." The warm air from inside the house hit him, a smell both familiar and foreign. He heard sounds of walking on creaky planks, a drawer being pulled open. She returned.

"Here you go." Obito's mother gave him a note. "Sorry for the time it took to get his address. As his mother I feel like I should know where he lives but… You know how it's been. He hasn't wanted to keep in touch and his great granduncle isn't exactly the easiest person to contact either."

"No, thank you. I understand. I didn't mean to be a bother. How is Madara doing?"

"Oh, no such thing. You're never a bother, child. Old Madara is doing well for his age. He just likes to keep to his own. I think both could have done each other some good if they only had given each other a chance, but Madara is a stubborn old geezer and Obito moved to his own apartment as soon as he had an opportunity to do so."

"Still no success in contacting him? Is he going to college?"

"No. You know how it is. Almost the only time we get in touch is when the police contact us. We sent him money to go, but seeing how he barely made it through high school, honestly, I…"

"…don't know anything," Kakashi finished for her. "It's okay. Thank you for helping me."

"No problem, Kakashi. Perhaps he will take to you better than to me and my husband." She glanced away, a hint of guilt in her dark eyes. "I wish we were there for him more when he was younger. Maybe then it would never have gotten this bad. Now it seems to be too late to change anything." Mrs. Uchiha shook her head gently as if to clear her thoughts and then smiled at Kakashi again. "Please give my love to him if you meet him, will you?"

"Of course. Goodbye."

"Have a safe journey and be sure to come back and see us when you visit Jiraiya!" she called after him.

"I will!"

What Mrs. Uchiha said was sadly true. Obito's parents had neglected him for the family business, and Obito had been forced to spend much of his childhood alone – often walking up to an empty house and coming home to one as well, even at a very young age. Still, Kakashi knew that their hearts were in the right place. They loved Obito more than anything else. They had believed they were doing what was best for him by giving priority to their jobs in hope to be able to afford the best education and the finest toys for him, not understanding that what he really needed was their time.

Kakashi hurried to his house, cursing himself for taking far too long at Rin's grave. He always ended up forgetting time completely when he was there, letting his thoughts wander without any awareness of time. He should have expected it by now, but it almost always caught him off guard how the clock could run when he wasn't really doing anything.

His grandfather was already waiting for him at the door and quickly handed him his baggage and backpack. Kakashi hugged him goodbye, burying his face in the white-haired man's board shoulder. When he came here, he remembered, he could barely reach his chest. He had been so small, and yet it didn't really feel as if he had gotten that much older. Everything else had just… well, shrunk. He was taller than Jiraiya now. If felt weird leaving him. Konoha was his childhood home, where he had grown up. When he came here it had taken months before he had opened up to the old man and years before could hug him like this.

However, he didn't have much time for farewells and there was not much to say anyway. After promising to give a call when he had settled in his new apartment, Jiraiya ruffled his hair with a laugh and wished him a good journey. He reminded him to visit as often as he could and said that he would always have a home and his old room waiting for him.

Kakashi raised his hand in goodbye as he left and took his bag and hurried to the bus-stop a mile down the road. He had almost reached it when he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi's eyebrows rose in surprise as he looked up – the color green was reflected back at him.

"Hey Gai! What are you doing here? Weren't we supposed to meet in central?"

Gai laughed and run to meet him. Despite the fact that he already had luggage of his own, Gai automatically reached and took Kakashi's. Kakashi let him. Who was he to resist dragging around extra weight? Gai probably saw it as a training exercise, all the same.

"It is utmost unyouthful to travel alone, so I will accompany you, my rival!"

"Then how did you get here?"

"After helping me settle in my dad and I ran from Amegakure to Konoha the day before yesterday. We wanted to push in one more last long run before the school year started."

"Isn't that over 60 miles?" Kakashi said as the bus pulled to a stop and Gai helped him carry in one of his bags.

"62 miles."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly in surprise though one would think he'd be used to Gai breaking his old records all the time by now. His friend was simply inhuman in his training methods. "Impressive."

Gai's face lit up. "Hey, what do you say we-"

"No thanks. I think that distance is a bit long for me."

Gai smiled, giving him a 'nice-guy' pose before sitting down by the window as Kakashi moved in to sit beside him. Except for them, the driver and an old lady, the bus was empty. "Then promise me you'll join my pre-school run!"

"Uh… I…" Kakashi sighed. "I'll think about it."

o o o

After a ten minute bus ride, they reached the small train-station in Konoha. They got off their bus and the train that would take them straight to Amegakure arrived twenty minutes later. The locomotive pulled to a stop, sighing wearily as it opened its doors. Kakashi and Gai got on. After walking a few yards, they found some empty places by a table and sat down next to each other.

The train started moving and Kakashi settled into a comfortable silence as Gai talked about the wonders of youth and training. Kakashi, having already heard it all many times more than he would have liked to, found it pretty easy to filter him out.

He picked up an orange book most people wouldn't be seen in public with.

Kakashi wasn't most people.

Actually, Kakashi was rather proud to casually mention that it was his grandfather that had written the Icha Icha series whenever the topic was brought up. But today he couldn't concentrate on reading and stared blankly at the page. His mind was pulled to one person.

Obito.

He might finally get to see Obito again. It had been four years. Four years and almost two months since the day that changed everything. It had been the beginning of summer, and they had just ended their last year in middle-school. Their summer vacation had only just started and they had so many plans on what they were going to do. It was like any other summer – until one day everything changed.

He had been sleeping.

Something had tickled his nose, and he sneezed. He remembered the thick smell of smoke, but how his sleepy mind failed to register it. He heard his dog barking outside. He had turned around in his bed, falling back to sleep when he suddenly sat up in a jerk – maybe because of a nightmare. But once he opened his eyes he had forgotten all about his dream.

He coughed. Smoke burned his lungs. Disorientated for a minute he rubbed his eyes before he suddenly flew up from the bed. Low blood pressure made him stumble and fall. Kakashi managed to catch himself on his desk.

Smoke. Heat. The house… it was on fire.

Suddenly it felt so real. Kakashi wasn't sitting in the train anymore. He wasn't on his way to Amegakure. He was in his old house. In his old bedroom. He was in that fire.

Why hadn't he noticed earlier? He needed to get out fast. But he felt so lightheaded, dizzy. He remembered something about smoke and fires he had learned in school but he couldn't think. The air… it was supposed to be better further down, by the floor. Or was it higher up? How much smoke had he inhaled? If he hadn't woken up… Kakashi shook his head, he didn't have time to think about that now. He decided to just hurry. He needed to get out.

Now.

A bit unsteady, he tried to walk out of his room, but when he opened the door; the corridor was aflame. A new cloud of dark smoke flowed over him, now unhindered by the open door. Kakashi tried to hold his breath but he accidentally stumbled on something and gasped, inhaling the thick, black-colored air. His headache ten-folded and he fell to the floor with a groan.

He had to get out. Fast. There was no way he'd be able to get through the corridors unless he could run. He thought he heard voices outside, but he wasn't sure. His head spun. Why couldn't he move? The door no longer held the fire back and bright, orange flames crept into his room, spreading quickly. The heat on his face was unbearable. The air was hot and it burned his lungs to inhale it. Kakashi coughed again and tried to use his shirt to breathe through, but it didn't help much. A loud creak made him glanced up. The roof… it was going to collapse soon.

Everything was hot. His head was still spinning. Kakashi realized that unless he got out fast, he would either be burned alive or get crushed when the house gave in. He tried to crawl, but his hands and knees shook and wouldn't hold to do even that much. The window. It was closer. He should try to jump out of it. It wasn't that far away. He managed to force himself a few feet, but his muscles refused to work and he was almost paralyzed. He couldn't think. His thoughts were all slurry and jammed and he couldn't make sense of them anymore. The room seemed to be darkening. No – he was slowly falling unconscious.

He heard screaming outside now. Somebody called his name. He tried to speak, shout back that he was here, that he was alive, that he needed help. But no word managed to get out. His eyelids fell shut. The bright flames hurt his eyes too much for him to keep them open. The air hurt to inhale… it was so hot. Perhaps it was better if no one did come after him. Any person coming in would only end up getting caught, too.

Somebody called his name, now closer. It was familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint the voice. Kakashi couldn't make himself move. He wanted to tell the person to stay away. Nobody should come after him, he couldn't risk the life of someone else.

"Kakashi!"

This time the voice was just next to him. Kakashi managed to open his eyes. Dark, worried eyes and black hair shielded him from the worst of the flames that had started to catch up to him.

"Obito… get out of here," he choked out, voice barely a hoarse whisper. "Hurry."

"Idiot. I won't leave you." Obito pulled him up and started half carrying, half dragging him towards the window. When they got there and opened it, cool air rushed in, but the second after the fire roared even harder, strengthened by the new oxygen. Obito put himself between the fire and Kakashi, winced when the flames licked him.

"Here! Somebody help!" Obito shouted, but his voice was almost completely drowned by the fire's roars. Gritting his teeth together hard, his eyebrows furrowed in determination, Obito helped Kakashi up on the windowsill. He started coughing, but didn't stop.

Outside, a moving silhouette caught his eyes. She stopped when she saw them.

"Oh God," she breathed, face full of worry as she ran towards them.

It took a minute before Kakashi realized that it was Rin.

"Take him," Obito said as he pushed Kakashi out before he managed to climb out himself. Rin caught him as he fell to the ground, his weight knocking her over. Obito fell down beside him, panting hard. He tried to get up but his arms and legs couldn't carry him. Seeing Obito's struggle, Rin tried to drag both boys away from the burning house, but they were too heavy for her to manage on her own.

"They're here! Help!" she shouted desperately as she pulled them, inch by inch further away from the hot flames. The roof suddenly cracked loudly, the house started to give in. Rin pulled harder. A drop of sweat ran down her forehead, a few strands of hair were sticking to her skin. The fire roared.

"HELP!"

People rushed forward now. Kakashi's vision was clouded with dark spots and he couldn't think clearly, but he thought he recognized Obito's parents as they dragged Obito and him away from the burning building.

Kakashi felt lightheaded. Sounds of an ambulance from a distance slowly grew louder. Somebody touched his cheek. Tiredly, Kakashi turned his face towards the person.

"Kakashi?" Obito's hand stroked some silver hair away from his face. "Are you alright?"

"Obito, you're hurt." Obito's clothes were badly burned and had on some places been completely burned off. Sweat ran down his face, and he was covered in black ash. He smelled of burnt flesh.

Obito smiled, tired, but genuine. "I'm happy you are alright…" Obito's voice drifted off as he fainted.

"Obito!" Kakashi tried to sit up, but Rin pushed him down again.

"Take it easy." Her voice was calm and soothing, but her eyes were filled with worry. "Help is on its way."

It seemed forever before the ambulance came, even though it only was a matter of minutes. Kakashi could only make out a few things among the many murmurs, shouts and voices speaking.

"Help him, please! Somebody help my son!"

"He has third level burning injuries."

"Inhaled a lot of smoke."

"…could be life-threatening."

Kakashi already felt a little bit better after resting in the clean air, but when he tried to get up he was forced back down. Two doctors put him on a stretcher and carried him into the truck. People were suddenly everywhere and he lost sight of Obito.

"Obito!" Kakashi called out, "How's Obito!? Where is he!?"

"Shh. We will take care of your friend. For now, rest."

But Kakashi couldn't calm down. Why did they bother with him? Couldn't they see Obito needed their help more? "Will he be alright?" he asked, frantically.

The doctor hesitated a moment before she nodded. "Yes. He will be fine. Go to sleep."

Kakashi knew she was probably lying to calm him down, but he told himself that she did speak the truth. She had to.

Somebody grasped his hand – Rin.

"You've got to calm down, Kakashi," she said. "They're doing everything they can for him." Seeing how upset Rin was, Kakashi forced himself to recompose himself. Her steady gaze eased him, if only a little bit. He was–

A hand touched his shoulder, and Kakashi flinched. For a moment, he felt confused to where he was.

"Earth to Kakashi?"

Kakashi followed the arm to Gai's eyes.

"Hey. You dropped your book."

"…what?"

"Icha Icha."

"Thanks," he said, accepting the book, still slightly dazzled. The memory had felt so real for a moment that he'd really lost sense of present reality.

"You mentioned that Obito lived in Amegakure," Gai said, probably suspecting what – or rather whom – that occupied his mind. "Are you planning on searching him out?"

"Yes. I need to." Kakashi's hand clenched the small note in his pocket. "Not just because I miss the guy… but if I can't fix thing between us it feels as if I can never move on."

"I'm sure he has forgiven you. It's been years. Don't forget he was just fourteen. He was hurt and took his anger out on you, but it doesn't mean he still blames you."

"I know."

Kakashi had befriended Gai in Konoha High after Obito had left. More correctly, Gai was the one who befriended him. They both went to the same dojo and were acquainted even before they met in high school – actually, they were already friends by then. But they grew closer during high school. Even though Gai had a horrible fashion-sense (or lack thereof) and a really unflattering haircut (let's not even get started on those eyebrows!) the unlikely pair got along better than Kakashi would have thought when he first laid eyes on the hyper-athletic kid. Gai became his new training partner, and when times were tough Gai's constant challenges seemed to be the only thing that could keep him going.

Gai had really been a great friend to him. It had taken a while, but eventually he had made his way into Kakashi's life until Kakashi couldn't dismiss him anymore. Now afterwards, Kakashi admitted he would have very likely fallen into depression the first year in high school without him.

As much as Gai irritated him at times, he wasn't half as bothered by his presence as he made out to be or as most people would assume he was.

"Now…" said Gai. Kakashi didn't like the glint he got in his eyes when he fished up a card game and slammed the pile down on the table in front of them. "I challenge you!"

Kakashi looked tiredly at Gai before letting his head drop down and hit the surface of the table with a groan. "Fine."

To be honest, he didn't really have anything better to do anyway, and it was still a long way to Amegakure.

Gai gave him a blinding smile as he mixed the cards and started to divide them between them, Kakashi stuffed the book he had dropped earlier back into his backpack for another time.

"If I win more rounds than you do, you've got to pay your own lunch-bill," said Gai.

A smile tugged at his lips. "You're on."

o o o

Kakashi and Gai reached their destination an hour later and since Kakashi had won two more times than his friend, he didn't have to sneak out on the bill this time. They ate lunch at a restaurant in the area before they took a bus to Kakashi's new apartment.

Kakashi hadn't been in Amegakure since he last lived here. In fact, he hadn't even seen where he was going to live. Gai had offered to help him find a place since he already moved there earlier this summer and had contacts. Kakashi had taken him up on his offer, trusting Gai to pick out a place for him. His only requirements had been a low rent and central enough to easily get to school in the mornings. So when Gai had found a little place rented with furniture close to training grounds, gym, a judo club and of course not too long away from where Gai himself lived, he wasn't too surprised. This was just so Gai-like. Kakashi had no idea how he found these kinds of places for such a low price, but it was better than anything Kakashi could have found on his own.

He wasn't youthful enough to do as much digging and barging at Gai did. Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that Gai's smile might be a reason why he did so well in his search for apartments as well. After a blinding smile and a most youthful speech, most people were pretty much ready to agree with him if only to get him out of their hair. Kakashi felt slightly guilty for having been one of those people himself. Gai really was too good for him.

The apartment was very small, but he liked it and it wasn't like he needed any bigger place. It consisted of a narrow hall, a tight but cozy kitchen, a small bathroom with a shower and a medium-sized bedroom that served as living room as well. Gai offered to help Kakashi unpack, but he declined. He had other plans.

"I'm going to see Obito now."

To be honest, he couldn't really wait any longer. He almost felt impatient, and that was a very alien feeling for him. He hadn't seen Obito for years and wanted to find out if the address Obito's mother had gotten for him would do him any good as soon as possible.

"Okay. I'll be back tomorrow and show you where the dojo is and when practices are, then?"

"Sounds good. Thanks for helping me getting settled in."

"No problem!" Gai shouted as he left the room. "Oh, and I'm dropping by at six am to show you the jogging round!"

"Wait! That really isn't– "

Kakashi was interrupted by the door slamming shut. He had better get to bed early, then. And tomorrow he would make sure to speak to Gai of the importance of rest and a proper amount of sleep to a training person.

But that was for another time. Now he needed to see Obito. Kakashi put on his jacket as he read the directions of the note for the second time.

His heart beat a little harder as he left his new apartment and locked the door. It almost felt surreal. He was finally going to see him. He got off at the bus stop closest to his address and walked the last bit by foot until he reached the place he had been looking for.

Kakashi hesitated to walk inside the building. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but that was how he felt as he stood a few yards away from the door that lead to Obito's apartment. After a minute, he finally walked inside and found the right flat two levels up.

There was no name, so he couldn't be sure, but the number was the same as the one written on his note. There was only one way to find out. Hands sweaty, Kakashi knocked. Shortly after, he saw the door had a bell and used that one instead. But nobody answered and he felt his hope drop. He was disappointed, but honestly, not surprised. They hadn't parted on good terms. With a sigh, he took the stairs down. He would try another time.

As he left the building someone speeded in on a motorcycle at the parking lot.

Kakashi froze when a dark-haired young man got off from it. Even though he wasn't wearing a helmet, it took a few seconds before he was sure it was Obito. Immediately Kakashi felt stupid for not considering the possibility that Obito wouldn't be home. Of course he had another life besides watching the doorbell.

Kakashi noted Obito had grown taller and his shoulders broader. There was not a trace of the once trademark color orange on him. His jacket had been left open and was made of black leather, and he wore black jeans. As a matter of fact; he was all dressed in black.

Obito walked closer and Kakashi felt his heart pick up speed. It had been easy telling himself that he had to go here, but now that they finally met, what was he going to say? Kakashi noted that his jaw was a lot more masculine-looking and he had lost all boyish features. The scars left behind by a particular caressing flame had faded, but there were still obvious markings on the right side of his face and neck. They gave him a rough look, but not an unbecoming one. His hair was short and unkempt, and Obito absentmindedly pulled a tanned hand through wild spikes – it too, marked by scars where fire had melted skin.

Kakashi took half a step back.

There was something else different too, though it took a few seconds before Kakashi realized it on a higher level than subconsciousness.

Obito's demeanor had changed.

It was… darker.

Obito passed him without as much as a glance, their shoulders almost brushing as he waked by.

With Kakashi's silver-hair it wasn't likely that he had missed him or didn't recognize him. He was ignoring him deliberately. Kakashi walked after him and grabbed his arm.

"Obito."

Obito didn't spare him a look. He pulled out of his grip like he wasn't there. It felt like a stab to his heart. Kakashi took a few more steps after him. "Obito, please."

The door shut in his face.

Ouch.

Now that really hurt.

Next update probably won't be until after New Year. Thank you for reading and please review! :)