The next day, Thorin woke up with a start. It was nothing new to him, for it always seemed to happen every time the anniversary of the Battle was nearing. Dreams of laughter, golden hair, and dragon tattoos haunt his dreams, and it always leaves him feeling cold, despite the warm body of his wife. He cannot bring himself to look upon his wife's face, let alone continue to lay with her to produce an heir, for it reminded him too much of Helga. He knew that it was unfair for his wife, but he cannot bring himself to share it with his wife, yet. Despite it being five years since the battle, what happened five years ago was a wound that will never close.

That's what happens to people who break their promises.

Eventually, guilt will seep into their hearts like an infection to a wound. Only reconciliation will heal him now, but even that is impossible for him. Not after everything that happened. Deciding to bring out his sour mood to something else, he changed into his training clothes and went off to the training room.

When Thorin entered the training room, he found that he was not the only person letting off some steam. A lone archer stood there, aiming and pointing at a target, but failed to hit the center.

"Kili," Thorin said, and the young dwarf prince turned to see his uncle looking at him. He just glared at him and turned back to his practice. Thorin noticed how Kili's right hand wavered as he nocked the arrow in his bow and aimed at his target. In the Battle, his life was nearly taken, if not for a red-headed elf and a young man who was also a dear friend of theirs. But he didn't leave the battle unscathed, and a sword pierced his right palm, nicking nerves, veins, and arteries that weren't supposed to be nicked. Now, it was just a back to back scar, however, the damage inside was done, and Oin was afraid that his hand might never return to its full potential. "What are you doing this early?"

"Might ask you the same thing." Kili said, letting loose the arrow on his bow. It still did not hit the center.

"I couldn't sleep." Thorin said, and Kili didn't speak anymore. He only continued to nock and loose an arrow, but never hitting the center.

"How is your hand?" Thorin asked, standing beside his nephew. Rarely have they spoke, and Thorin wished that his nephew would stop being mad at him.

"You know damn well how my hand is," Kili suddenly said, looking at his uncle in the eye. "And it would have been worse, if not for Alvor." He followed, and Thorin suddenly felt his breath hitch. No one dared to utter his, his brother, or Helga's name in his presence -apparently, only Kili had the guts to do it.

"I know-"

"You know damn well how much we owe our lives to them! Amren saved Fili from that trap, Alvor saved not only me, but Tauriel, too! And do not get me started with Aunt Helga!" Kili exclaimed, and Thorin clenched his fists.

"Don't even start to-"

"Everything she did for us! She never asked for riches or anything in return! She just wanted the damned dragon gone for good! All she asked is for her body to be burnt when she dies! And you promised that you'd keep her safe, give her a home -you told her that you loved her, Throin! And now you act as if she never existed! As if you never loved her, and how she and her own nephews saved us! We should be honoring them like heroes, but you don't even bother to visit them, uncle!" Kili said, his outburst making their own fists clenched and their hearts beating with rage.

"You know nothing. You think that I did not even try to visit them! I tried to, countless of times, but I cannot bring myself to do it. They are in a better place now, Kili."

"And your promises? Would you not grant her at least that one promise?" Kili asked, and Thorin stood there, his brows furrowed from the pain that even just thinking about her brings.

"I can't." Was all Thorin had to say. Kili just threw his bow across the room and stormed off the fighting area. Enraged, Thorin brought out his sword and slashed it at the training dummy, cleaving it's head off in one swipe.

The memorial for the Battle of the Five Armies came, and both men and elves came to the city of Erebor to pay their respects to the dead. The usual hustling and bustling city life of Dale seemed to have died down, for the whole city was paying their respects along with their citizens. Meanwhile, in the royal quarters, Thorin stood in front of a mirror, lost in thought about the events five years ago. Every time he would think back on that day, he would remember how much he had failed Helga, and how she and her nephews would be here if it weren't for him. They would've had a home, and not roam around the world like nomads.

But there were some rifts that were too wide and too permanent to repair.

He felt small hands run through his shoulders, straightening the creases on his doublet. He looked to the right and saw his wife reaching for his crown and placing it on top of his head. She wrapped her arm around his, and looked at him through the mirror.

"I know that we do not know each other very well, and I know that you have been hurt in more ways than one 5 years ago, but one day we have to talk about what happened. It does not have to be today, or tomorrow. It can be in the far future or before we die, but as your wife, I need to know." She said, looking one last time into Thorin's eyes before attempting to leave. But Thorin grabbed her hand before she can leave. He wanted to tell her -he really did, but 5 years is too short a time for him. He needs more time.

"I'm sorry. I will someday, my queen, but not right now." He said, wrapping his other hand over hers. Tamara closed her hand over his and gave him a small smile. She gave him a reassuring smile and a small squeeze before pressing her lips to his knuckles. It was in that small gesture that Thorin knew that he was unfair to his wife. She had nothing to do with what happened in the past, and he had no reason to avoid her as he did. With her arm looped around his, they walked out of the royal chambers, heading towards the throne room.

"Today, we remember the men, women, dwarves, and elves that died for us. The battle had been costly, and took many things that we love from us," Thorin said, his voice echoing in the silence of the hall. " Do not let their deaths be in vain. Let us honor their deaths in this toast -in a promise of a better future. Hail the victorious dead!" Thorin raised his goblet as the crowd shouted a synchronized 'hail', before drinking the wine in their cups. What followed was feast, and merriment. Rows upon rows of different kinds of meat, desserts, and delicacies that are fit for the tastes of men, elves, and dwarves. Soon enough, after the dinner, barrels of ale, wine, and mead were brought out, along with musicians. All the sorrow was chased away by the laughter and music that filled the dining hall that night. But no matter how merry or how loud the music is, three dwarves from the royal family could not bring their smiles to reach their eyes, for they were remembering a debt that no amount of Gold could repay to a family that once joined the Company in their quest.

After a dance or two, Tamara retired to the royal chambers, and Thorin went out to the balcony, a goblet and pipe in hand. From the outside, he saw how Princess Sigrid and Tauriel can make his nephews so happy. He used to be like that once, before the battle, back in that night in Laketown. He was happy with her, and now, he can't seem to find peace and solace despite a satisfactory life. Taking a sip from his goblet and a drag from his pipe, he huffed out a heavy sigh, finally coming up to a decision. If he wanted to find peace, he had to go to her.

It was time to pay Helga Skyrunner a visit.

Hey!

I just want to let you know that I don't have an updating schedule, but I will be updating more often than I did with heart of Gold because my exams are done! All I have to worry about now are my projects, and student council stuff and I am done! But at least now, I have more time to write ^_^ Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter! A bit of a hint about the fate of this woman named Helga! ;) What happened five years ago, and Thorin can't just simply walk up to Helga and kiss her? Any guesses? Obviously, the issue between Thorin and Kili can be a hint ;) I'd like to hear your guesses before I reveal the events of the Battle in the next chapter! :) Don't be afraid to leave a review!

Sincerely,

Gabrielle 3