The look on my mother's face when Sasuke-kun cut my hair was priceless. It wasn't Sasuke-kun she angry with; it was me. She never glared at me with such malice. I had touched a weapon. To her, it was a taboo. She forbade me to even look at one.
My punishment was to be locked up in a room in the north wing. Shin wouldn't be able to sneak away to see me. No one was to see me. I was to have no food for a week. And I didn't from the moment I got home. She immediately rushed me to see the family hair dresser.
The hair dresser took a look at my hair. He stated that it would take a year or two for my hair to grow back unless I used a special formula that would double the original length in a year. It would take him two days to make this potion. My mother demanded he start now. Before he left, she asked him to give me extensions.
Now, here I am sitting, staring at nothing with fake hair. Today is the third day.
People walking by talked about different matters. I found out that the Uchiha were coming on the fifth day. I suspected they would request my presence. It would mean contact with someone and perhaps a meal to keep me from fainting.
Everything was uneventful until mother came in. She opened the door swiftly and stepped in. She was holding a bin. She immediately called me to her. Setting the bin filled with water down, a vile of red liquid was carefully measured into it. The water turned the color of red.
"Put your head in there…" I looked at her with questionable eyes. "Quickly Now!..." That was the potion Kira-san made. "Insolent child," I took too much time trying to figure out what was going on. So my mother dragged me to the bin and dumped my head in. There was no caution or care for me. My head was under water until she decided I needed to breathe which was a minute later.
I gasped for air as she again put my head in the bin. Struggling for a bit, I relaxed my body. The water entering my nose left me disgusted. I wanted to vomit, spit, anything to get it out. I clutched the sides of the container, trying to hold myself properly. Pressure was building up in my lungs before I was lifted up again.
Gasping and gorging filled the air. Was anyone near? Could they hear me? Was my mother going to drown me? Was I ever going to stop being afraid of her?
Before I could get a word out, she pushed my head forward into the red water. This time she held my head in longer. I could feel my limps twitch uncontrollably. The lungs I had were small and could not inhale enough oxygen. My movements were becoming light and soft. I no longer thrashed around. My mother had won. She was much stronger, more powerful.
She decides whether I died or lived. Today it just so happened to be the latter. After she washed my hair, she walked out with the bin and vile. Leaving me wrapped up in a towel on the floor.
My eyes stung from the chemicals in the vile. The last things I remembered were my nostrils and throat flaming and my lungs ablaze. My little pants filled the room. Exhaustion filled my whole being as the scent of roses surrounded me. Everything went black with bittersweet smells.
The fifth day came and left. Mikoto-san and Sasuke-kun were the only ones who paid me a visit. Apparently Itachi-senpai was on a mission and her husband was meeting with another clan. Mikoto-san told me they came here to see just me. Handing me a gift, Sasuke-kun apologized again. I took it.
"Open it!" said Sasuke-kun, after I set it down beside me. He either didn't know the rules of receiving gifts or wanted me to know he was truly sorry.
Picking up the small box, I carefully pulled the wrapping apart. There was a hair comb sitting inside. It was childish. A tomato lay in the middle of the brown comb surrounded by vines. It was the size of my palm.
Smiling, I thanked them. At that moment my mother interrupted us, saying I needed to start my lessons. I waved goodbye and returned to the north wing, continuing my sentence. At least I had a bowl of rice.
The next two days passed with a breeze. My sentence was finished with a bonus: my mother was invited for a week to visit my aunt in a neighboring village. This meant no shopping or banquets for seven days. I could spend my days watching my brother and his team.
Shin and his friends were still in the Ninja Academy. In the self-proclaimed Team 26 was Nyoko; the blonde girl, Kisho; the weak boy, and Shin; the strongest. They met during lunch and after school to train.
-thunk-
A boy no older than ten stared at the result of his new move. All of his weapons hit the targets but there was still one he gazed at.
Off center by one millimeter to the left.
He hadn't perfected it. Something was wrong. All his calculations were correct. The velocity of the wind was taken in to thought.
…I need to be an inch higher in the air.
He kicked up and twisted his body but something caught his eye.
Who is that?
There was someone sitting on a tree. From the person's form, it was a girl. His eyes narrowed déjà vu.
Utsuku Zetsumei has stopped by every Thursday to watch her brother and his friends play shinobi...Ridiculous…Today is Monday.
People are predictable. This is what Itachi hated about himself. Nothing surprised him saved for a year ago when someone fell from a tree. Now that same someone had an air about them that left his father troubled. This was something new not something interesting nevertheless, hardly anything was new to Itachi.
Although this girl did not interest him didn't mean that he would let her out of his sight. She had fallen from that tree before.
It didn't take long until the children to stopped playing and left. Dusk was arriving, yet the girl still remained.
There is something wrong with the way I am turning…didn't her brother leave already?
Itachi couldn't help but stare up at the girl. She is five years old, along, sitting on a tree that is more than 15 feet in the air. Something is wrong with this picture. Where is her brother?
She didn't learn her lesson the first time. If it wasn't for me, she would have di—I'm spending too much time on this. I should be focusing on my training. Ignore her.
Somewhere in the skies lightening struck out, illuminating the forest. The boy signed and started up the tree.
Itachi
The rain is coming and it is a thunderstorm. I quickly made it up the tree within seconds. I jumped on the same branch that the girl was on. She looked up, unstartled. I felt the full force of her gaze. It was strong. It was startling. I did my best to keep my composure.
"It is going to rain soon," I stated
She turned her head. I secretly felt relieved.
"I know…" she looked back at me. I could feel apart of myself tense.
"It will be a thunderstorm. It'll be dangerous out here." She must think it is her idea to go home. Remember younglings don't like being told what to do and do the opposite. Sasuke is like this with strangers.
"…" She wants to say something…This is useless talk. I inwardly sign.
"You need to go home…" she is an ally of the Uchiha clan, it will be wrong of me to let her go home by herself, "I'll take you home."
She looks at me. Her face shows nothing. She stands up. It is a swift and graceful movement. She smiles and says, "Alright."
I had seen her get down the tree so I gesture her to go. She leaps to the next branch. She is wearing kimono.
We are on the streets in no time. She walks one step behind. It is beginning to get annoying. The streets are dark and the street lights are on. No one but shinobi are around. They are patrolling. It has been like this for a week now. There is a serial killer on the loose.
I see a few chuunin look at us and do a double take. An Uchiha and Utsuku walking side by side, it makes me uncomfortable too. I glance at her. She is a rare child. She isn't like Sasuke. She does nothing needlessly. There is no swinging of the arms or skipping or throwing around smiles like nothing. She is nothing like the girls her age or any girl. She walks confidently and gracefully. She doesn't look at me and blush. She seems too mature for her age. I think this is not as uncomfortable as I thought.
The Utsuku estate is on the other side of Konoha. It will be a long walk. I hope she does not feel the need to interrupt the silence. Ten minutes pass. She says nothing.
We are half way there when we hear a scream. We look at each other. It was a lady's voice. She turns to her right and runs toward the noise. My eyes narrow, stupid girl. I catch up with her in a second. Her face shows nothing but her eyes burn. My mother was right. Her eyes are very intense.
I look ahead. There is a lady on the ground and a man standing over her with a kunai. I jump up and attack him. My eyes narrow. That was too easy. He turns into a log; I look around and see the girl bending over the lady. And the man is standing behind them. Before he moved I knocked him unconscious. The girl turns around and stares at me. She has an apologetic look. She parts her lips and is about to say something when a jounin arrives. He assesses the situation. I ignore him and offer the girl my hand. She takes it, still looking sorry. The jounin catches my eye and he nods, understanding. He radios others. They arrive within seconds. They take the man away and a medic checks the lady. The jounin thanks me. "Hn" I turn and guide the girl back to the street. She follows. I am still holding her hand. I stop and ask her not to say anything to anyone. She doesn't respond. I turn around and look her in the eye. She is questioning me. "I don't want your clan to think that you are in my dept." She nods understanding.
I start to walk again but she pulls my hand. "Itachi-senpai, I…" I can feel her hand trembling, "I-I'm sorry." That is the first time I heard her stutter. I finally look at her. She has a guilty look.
"…"
She wants to say more. And for some reason and the first time in my life I ask, "Why?" I asked her to continue even though I prefer she stay quiet.
She looks up at me with intensity. I already know what she is going to say. I don't like this. "I should…" 'have been able to' "I should have been able to…" I don't like this at all. "…I"
My eyes narrow and say, "No." Her eyes widen.
"You shouldn't have to."
"But—"
"But nothing."
Her hand tightens around my own. "Thank you." I nod and continue walking with her hand in mine. For some reason I don't let go. For some reason I knew what she was going to say. And I really do not like this.
We are at the Utsuku estate. She pauses and says, "Itachi-senpai, thank you."
"Hn"
She goes inside. I turn my heel and start walking home. I know what she wants. I know what she craves to do. Just by looking her in the eye. She wanted to be able to know that that man was behind her and fight him. Zetsumei-chan wants to be a ninja
I passed the doors. The guards slightly bowed to me. It was quiet. Everyone was on the north side of the estate. It was Michiyo's birthday. Michiyo was the daughter of an advisor to my father. She had light blue eyes and black hair. She dislikes me. She is four years my senior. It is like this with all my cousins. I feel…no…I don't feel.
I walk down the empty halls toward the party. I wonder what time it is. Am I late? Do my clothes look fine? I check my reflection in the windows as I pass them. I look fine. I am wearing a green kimono with white dotted flowers. The noise grows louder as I draw nearer. The doors are in front of me. The servant is about to open the door when I stop her. She looks at me with questioning eyes.
"Am I late?"
"No, the party just started five minutes ago."
I nod at her and open the door myself. This surprises her. I walk in as she catches the door and closes it.
The ladies are surrounding Michiyo while the men talk among themselves. The girls sit by their mothers, trying to learn art of conversation. The boys listen to their fathers, standing. There is talk. No laughter or yelling. I spot Shin beside our father. He looks busy. So I walk toward the ladies. This will be uncomfortable for me. But Shin is the only one I talk to at parties or any time.
I sit beside some girls my age. They look at me warily. I ask one what I missed. She tells me that Michiyo made a grand entrance and everyone is complimenting her. I thank her. She lightly smiles. She is pretty, green eyes and black hair. I stand up. My mother would know if I did not compliment Michiyo. She knows everything.
I make my way through the crowd. Everyone quickly moves out of the way. She has her back to me. I wait. It isn't until a few seconds later that she turns and I catch her eye. She looks at me, tense.
I smile and say, "You look lovely tonight, Michiyo. Especially the sapphire threads, they bring out your eyes."
She smiles but it looks a little strange, "Thank you."
She looks down at my clothing. Nothing appeals to her. I did not up stage her. Every birthday or celebration everyone is waiting for me to up stage someone else. I do not. That is the only reason Michiyo did what she did next.
She smiled without restraint and took my arm, "Utsuku-chan, how have you been lately. It has been awhile since we spoke. I hope everything is fine?"
I return her smile, "Yes, everything is fine. I was a little late coming in. I missed your performance. But you see, my mother was not here to help me dress. I apologize."
She giggles and forgives me. Maybe this won't be so uncomfortable after all. The rest of the night goes smoothly. Thankfully Shin wrote my name on the present he got for her. As she opened it, he winked at me. I smiled. It was a parasol.
I inwardly thanked my father's sister for taking my mother away this week. I have six days left.
The party is over and Michiyo walks toward me. She has a genuine smile on her face. It makes me warily. How long will she be happy with me? I shun away my negative attitude and smile. When my mother comes back and squashes her renewed feelings for me, Michiyo will stop talking to me again. I have no need for useless friendships. She hugs me. I return it and say, "Goodnight." She says something, but I couldn't understand her. I feel light headed…
I walked back to my room. I fell asleep that is what my brother told me. This morning I woke up in my room with a fever. A servant checked on me when I didn't show up for breakfast with my father and brother. I was always there. Shin said that she had a worried look on her face when she returned from my room. She had already sent for the family doctor. Ren questioned her when she replied, "Utsuku-chan has a fever and her eyes are unfocused." They continued to eat. "I wanted to burst and see you!" said Shin. He didn't and I knew why. Ren would be unpleased. The doctor would send word if anything was serious. There was no need to worry.
Ren and Shin showed up just as the doctor was finished. He told them it would go away as long as I stayed in bed and rested. Ren nodded and glanced at me before leaving. Shin ran toward me after he left. He looked so worried. I hated that look on his face. I wanted him to smile. But I was too tired to do anything but just let him hold me. I was going to miss his practice. I wanted to tear up my pillow and scream. My mother is gone and yet I can't see Shin train.
It has been exactly two hours since Shin left. The servants have come in once in a while to check on me. Right about now would Shin and the rest of his class would have break. He would be eating out of his black bento. I wonder what he learned today. I want to get up. I want to be there when he is released from class. He'll tell me everything that happened…We'll walk to his training grounds and… Itachi-senpai…Who are you?
It is noon. I feel a little better. My fever came down. I still feel tired. I fall in and out of sleep. Shin is at school. He'll miss his team practice today for me. I could tell by just looking into his eyes.
It is evening. Shin is exploring my jewelry box. He doesn't like any of my necklaces, bracelets, or earrings. I roll my eyes. The servant sent in two bowls of soup; one for shin and one for me. His has actually food whereas I have just broth. I'm still tired. I fall in and out of sleep. I'm not hungry. Shin will eat my food. I fall asleep again. Shin is gone. It is night. Everyone is asleep. I close my eyes again.
It is morning. I get up, I feel better. I'll watch Shin again today.
Shin is done with practice; a little too early. Itachi-senpai wasn't here. I wonder where he is.
I stand up on my tree. I should leave.
-thunk-
It missed me by a few inches. I look to where it was thrown from. Itachi-senpai is walking toward me.
"Sorry," Itachi-senpai looks at me.
"It's okay."
He takes a step closer. I look at his feet. It was intentional.
"You come to see your brother train. Every Thursday you sit on that tree, watching him."
Something is different about him. I wonder what?
I feel tired.
"Zetsumei-chan, why do you come here to watch your brother?"
His face shows nothing just like yesterday. But still he feels uncomfortable. I can sense it. A part of him is tense. What is he thinking?
"I have an idea of why you come. You confirmed this yesterday."
My eyes widen; my mistake. He knows. I have to leave. I can't watch my brother anymore. I could feel my insides squirm at the thought.
"An Utsuku girl wishes to be a shinobi. Strange."
No, I don't want this. My head hurts. I don't need this. I can leave. But my body hurts.
"Every Thursday you won't be on that tree watching your brother anymore," is he threatening me, "you will be here in this spot learning jutsu."
My eyes widen more, he means it.
"Come dress for swiftness and the ability to move. No kimono."
Can this be real?
"I'll walk you home again. It is getting dark."
He starts walking in the direction of my house. I turn and follow.
When was the last time I didn't wear a kimono? I can't remember. I feel free. Free from my mother and all the clan's expeditions. I can move easily. I don't have to worry about any elegance or…I can't take the Utsuku out of me. I am still walking formally. I am thinking formally. I should...I wanna walk but slouch. I wanna…I should say wanna like the rest of the children out there. Does my brother ever feel this way?
I'm wearing my brother's old clothes. He only wore them for a month. It is a plain shirt no secret designs or extra anything. The pants just land below my knees. I like it. My legs soak in the sun light. I feel right. My short sleeves don't cover my whole body and my arms also take in the sun. It is crazy. Is this how shin feels?
I arrive at the tree. Itachi will be teaching me jutsu. Breathe. Uchiha Itachi the heir and pride of the Uchiha clan will teach me to be a shinobi. Breathe.
"Zetsumei-chan," I turn Itachi is here. He looks at me and surveys my clothes. He says nothing and motions me to come nearer
I look at him. He is uncomfortable again. I can sense it.
"For the next two months, you will be conditioning and learning the basics of chakra and jutsu."
I nodded. He looked at me with stoic eyes, nothing escaping them. I wanted to see pass them.
But he looked away to take out some weapons.
"You'll not use these; only clean them."
I furred my brows.
"You need to get used to the feel of the metal on your hands."
What does he mean?