Author's Note: Here's another chapter for you! It's a little bit angsty, so bring a few tissues. ;) I hope ya'll enjoy!
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I do not own the Hunger Games series or any of the character.
Hiraeth
Chapter 2
All I heard was the faint hum of the train speeding on the tracks towards the Capitol and it just wasn't loud enough to keep away unwelcome thoughts.
Haymitch was sitting in the corner of the room nursing a bottle of liquor as he had been doing ever since we had gotten onto the train.
Peeta, however, was sitting in the chair across from me avoiding my unrelenting stare at all costs. He was watching the world fly by out of the train's window, his eyes dark and red-rimmed. There must've been a couple hours of this before I'd had enough.
"Peeta, you can't just ignore me forever." I stated, trying to keep my tone rational and understanding, soft, but annoyance found a way to creep in as well.
Peeta turned towards me, his arms crossed, and he took a deep, shaky breath. I wasn't used to that look he was giving me, so hurt, so cold. He knew it was my fault that Haymitch volunteered, he knew me too well.
"I was supposed to go in there with you, okay?"
"Peeta, we were trying to keep you safe."
"Well, did you ever think about how I feel?" Peeta stood up, nearly shouting the words.
"Katniss, you go in there and I might lose you forever, I can't stand that. If I were to go in there with you, I could at least have a chance to try to protect you. Now, I'm just… I'm helpless." Peeta crashed back into the seat.
He watched me for a few moments and when it was apparent that I had nothing to say, he stood back up. I almost thought I saw a shimmer of a tear on his cheek in the orange sunlight that was bursting in through the windows, but he began to walk away quickly before I could tell for sure.
"You would've done the same if you could've." I called out, he froze.
"That's different, because you could live without me." Peeta spoke coldly then he left.
His words were biting and they hurt, just like he'd intended them to.
Part of me wanted to chase him, scream, make him see that I was just doing everything I could to protect him. Because I loved him, maybe not in the way that he loved me, maybe not even as much, but surely enough I did.
Another part of me just wanted to curl up and cry.
In the end I just settled on joining Haymitch over in the corner. He swayed noticeably on his seat and a few empty bottles were littered around him. He gave me a small nod and he hiccuped before turning back down to his bottle. I'd never seen him in such rough shape before.
"Do you wish you hadn't volunteered?" I asked him quietly.
At first, I thought he didn't hear me, then he responded in a voice equally as quiet.
"What do you want me to say, Sweetheart?"
I didn't know, maybe just reassurance that we had done the right thing.
I just sighed in response and took the one last unopened bottle from beside him and took a swig from it myself, praying that maybe, just maybe, it'd make me forget.
Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for reading! Any reviews/comments will be greatly appreciated! I'll have another chapter up as soon as I can! :)