Jax was still pissed at work the next morning. Pissed at himself for grabbing the goddam box he had hidden all his old porn in. Pissed at Gemma who had asked all kinds of questions he did not want to answer. Even pissed at Abel who had woken him in the goddam middle of the night for apparently no reason at all. But most of all he was pissed at Tara. The fucking nerve of this woman! He fucking opened up to her and she threw it back in his face! Did their relationship mean so little to her? He had fucking killed for this woman – well, kinda, Kohn had pissed him off so much it would have been hard not to kill the guy – and she turned tail and ran when he admitted he was into dick as well? It was ridiculous! He could have understood her reaction if he was just into other guys – the whole setup wouldn't have made any sense then – but this way it didn't affect her at all. What did she care if he had fucked guys in the past? He could have had the whole club in his goddam ass every Friday night and it would not change a thing when it came to their relationship. Jax had not cheated on her and he certainly did not suffer from dick withdrawal. Maybe it was the whole 'bisexuals are sluts' stereotype at work. As far was stereotypes went it was a pretty tame one – and Jax had to admit that the shoe at least somewhat fit him – but it was annoying nevertheless. He probably had to make clear to Tara that he wanted her and just her. But he thought their fuck yesterday had proven that.

It might be easier to just end it now – or were they already broken up? – and go back to a woman who did not know the truth but Jax did not have the heart to do that. He cared about Tara, just like he had deeply cared for her all those years ago – and at least some of the time in between. He could not walk away from this. This weakness made him angry again, this time at himself. He was the goddam SAMCRO VP! He could not pine after some girl like a goddam teenager! In his anger he did not focus on what he was doing with the engine in front of him and painfully bumped his hand at a protruding metal part. "Shit," he cursed, jumping back and examining his hand. No serious damage but it hurt like hell anyway.

Opie walked over to him. "You okay?"

Jax nodded. "Just a small bump."

"That's not what I meant," his best friend, his face serious.

Shit, of course Ope would notice his bad mood. Jax was tempted to just shrug the question off but then reconsidered. Maybe Opie could give him some input. "Let's walk for a bit."

They walked away from the others and sat down on one of the benches. Jax pulled out a smoke and lit up, needing the nicotine before he poured his heart out. He never had been good at this feeling shit. Opie was watching him shrewdly. "What's going on?"

"It is stupid, really," Jax said. "You shouldn't worry with all the shit you are going through."

"Jax, you are my best friend, your problems are mine. Now spill it."

Jax sighed. Alright, then. "I brought some boxes home from storage this weekend – more stuff for Abel. I didn't have time to sort them, so I put them in the house. I told Tara she could look them through, if she got bored, though I didn't expect her to actually do it."

"Okay, this doesn't sound too bad yet."

"Do you remember Mars magazine?" Jax asked.

This took Opie off guard. "The porn mag?"

"The very same."

"Yeah, I remember you having a sizeable collection but I don't see how...wait are you saying that you still have them? And that Tara found them?"

Jax nodded. "I put them into storage some time ago. I didn't want them lying round the house when Wendy moved in with me. I had completely forgotten about them and must have grabbed the wrong box by mistake. Tara found them when she was looking for baby stuff."

"Shit," Opie said. "What did she say?"

"I was barely inside when she was in my face, wanting to know if I was gay and just dating her for appearances. I tell you, Ope, this is not a conversation you want to have."

"I fully believe that," Opie said. "What did you do? Deny everything?"

"What was I supposed to say? That they are Gemma's?" Come to think of it, this might have been a good idea. It certainly would have been hilarious to let Tara think Gemma was into hardcore gay porn on the side. The resulting conversations would have been priceless. "I told her the truth. That I was also into dick."

"Jesus," Opie said, now grabbing a smoke as well. "How did she take it?"

"Not well. She started to ask all kinds of very intimate questions. Wanted to know what I had done, who knew about this, all this stuff. She even asked if I had been with anyone she knew."

"Did you tell her about you and me?"

Jax shook his head. "Wouldn't want you to get dragged in this fight. It was just teenage shit anyway."

It had been more than that for him but only pain could come from admitting that. Opie had been his first. It had been just jerking off and a bit making out a few times but it had had a profound impact on the young and impressionable Jax. If Ope had been willing, Jax would have done a lot more with him, maybe even bottomed for the guy, but Ope had blocked each of his attempts to escalate. Still, they had spent quite some time as teenagers this way, jerking off each other and making out, which in Jax's mind was as homoerotic as a blowjob even if Opie had not seen it that way. This was all way in the past, though, as Opie had eventually moved on to women only. Jax hadn't been that lucky – or had he been the lucky one? – his desire for dick was here to stay.

Opie paused and looked over the yard to the other members. "Does she know about you and...?"

"Of course not, she was freaking out already. I dodged her question and tried to get back in control. I was afraid it was over already but when I kissed her to show her I love her, she kissed me back. We had sex on the kitchen table and I thought everything was fine. But then she said she had to think things through, grabbed her stuff and left. She said she will call me."

"Ouch," Opie said.

"This it total bullshit, Ope. I fucking open up to her and she blames me for it. It doesn't even matter, I fuck only her. Who cares if I am into dick as well?"

"You can't blame her for being shocked," Opie pointed out. "You would be surprised too, if she told you she was into pussy."

"Yeah for maybe ten seconds then I would be fucking thrilled," Jax said.

Ope chuckled. "Maybe this was a bad example. What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Wait for her to resurface, I guess. If she doesn't, I know someone who will take my mind of her."

Opie looked at him thoughtfully and Jax was certain his best friend was mulling things over. Probably trying to figure out a way to help him. Jax doubted he could, unless he wanted to throw in a blowjob. Still, letting it out had helped. But now it was time for other things. "Let's get back to work before Clay chews us out for slacking off."

After a mostly sleepless night, Tara postponed going to work and headed to TM instead, feeling that this issue did not tolerate any delays. After the first shock had worn off, she had at least somewhat wrapped her head around Jax getting busy with another guy – partly thanks to Mars magazine which actually was pretty good as far as porn rags went. Not that that made the reveal any less shocking. It might not make an immediate difference in their daily lives but to her it was a huge secret that had no place in a relationship. Tara knew of course that Jax probably kept a lot things from her – mostly related to the club – but this one seemed so personal that Tara felt betrayed by the secret keeping. But she had to admit that Jax had had good reasons to keep quiet and was willing to extend an olive branch, if he promised to be honest with her in the future. She would pull Jax aside and talk this out.

When she arrived at the garage, she saw Opie working on a car. Jax was nowhere to be seen. "Hey, Tara," Ope said.

"Hey, I am looking for Jax. Is he somewhere?"

"Working in the back with Juice," Opie said, wiping sweat off his face. It was a stifling hot day and the mechanic seemed soaked already. Tara was a bit surprised that he had not ditched his shirt yet, Jax certainly would have.

"Thanks," Tara said and started to walk on.

Opie stopped her. "Can I talk to you before you go to him?"

"Sure, what about?" Tara said, surprised by this request. Opie and she weren't really close despite the strong bond between him and Jax.

The big man gave her a small smile. "You and Jax, obviously."

"He told you what happened?" Tara asked, incredulous.

"Of course he did. He was pretty pissed when he came in today. Feels like you held his honesty against him."

"That's not what happened! I was just surprised. I felt like I did not know him at all."

Opie held up a hand and stopped her. "Relax, you don't have to justify yourself to me. I complete understand you reaction." He sighed. "I gotta be honest here, Tara, this could be a make or break situation. Jax keeps this stuff really bottled up and that he told you the truth shows that he cares about you. If you give him shit for that, I don't think things will work out between the two of you. He will probably drop you, if you can't deal with it."

This was a gut punch. In her mind, Tara had been the wounded party here, hurt by the lack of trust Jax had shown her. That he might break it off had not entered her mind yet. "It's not about, you know..."

"The cock-sucking?" Opie suggested with a grin.

Her eyes went wide. "Jax does that?"

"Would that be a problem for you?"

"No, of course not," she quickly said, "I, well, just..."

Opie laughed. "I knew it would be. That's the real problem here, isn't it? You think he isn't the man you thought he was. He isn't the big bad biker anymore but rather the guy who kept getting frisky with his best friend."

This was too much at once for Tara. Her mind spun and she latched onto the last piece of information. "You and Jax?"

"As teenagers," Opie said freely. "Not much, just seeing each other's dick, jerking off, this kind of stuff. You know, teenage experimentation."

Tara didn't, not really at least. She definitely hadn't done anything with another girl. Maybe this was a guy thing. They were pretty interested in each other's penises, after all.

"I moved on from dick, Jax didn't," Opie continued. "But no, he doesn't really suck dick, if that makes it any easier. Not that I know of, at least."

This brought her back to what Opie had implied earlier. "What is that supposed to mean, I don't think he is the same man now that I know the truth?"

"You think he is less of a man, this is why you get all awkward and twisted-up about this. Trust is just the excuse."

"Nonsense. I don't have a problem with Jax being into guys. Or anyone being into other guys."

"Oh really?" Opie said, clearly unconvinced. "I hope you are right about that because Jax will likely catch up when you do and then things could get ugly."

"It is really none of your business, Opie," Tara said brusquely. She felt forced into the defensive by him and did not appreciate that at all. Especially since he had a point. Why else would she have felt relieved by knowing that Jax did not suck dick? This added another problem to her growing relationship issues list and clashed badly with her self-image as an open-minded and tolerant person.

"Jax is my best friend, I don't want to see him hurt," Ope said. "If I didn't think you two were right for each other I would have told him to ditch you already and find someone else. Just keep what I told you in mind when you talk to him."

Tara nodded, left Opie where he was and walked deeper into the garage. As promised, she found Jax and Juice there, both busy tinkering with a Harley engine. Both had ditched their shirts due to the heat and the sight made Tara uncomfortable. Just yesterday she wouldn't have minded – both were easy on the eye and this behavior was to be expected in the club – but things had changed a lot in the last twenty-four hours. She knew now that Jax had gotten cozy with Opie as a teenager – which she really should have seen coming with the touchy feeliness between the two – but that did not mean this was all the same-sex action the VP had gotten. In fact, Jax had said he had 'done pretty much all she could imagine' and she now could imagine a lot more than mutual masturbation. And here Jax was, working with a young, buff guy while neither of them was wearing anything from the waist up. She couldn't help but wonder if the VP found Juice attractive. Jealousy spread inside of her at the thought, it was like seeing him with a Crow Eater with her tits hanging out. Jax looked up from his work when she entered. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we should talk," Tara said. "Could you give us a minute, Juice?"

Juice actually glanced at Jax and only left when the VP nodded which further fueled Tara's paranoia. Jax wiped his hands with a rag and flopped down on a chair. "Talk then. I said all I had to say yesterday."

Tara guessed Opie was right about Jax being pissed at her. Which in return pissed her off. "Oh, so now I am the problem?"

"Seems like it to me. After all, you are the one who gets all bent out of shape by me being into dick as well."

"That's not what this is about. If you had trusted me..."

"Oh, knock it off, Tara," Jax said, exasperated. "We both know this isn't what this is about. Look, if you can't handle it, I completely understand. Just don't waste both of our time. We call it quits and move on with our lives. You probably have other options, I know I do."

Now the jealousy was maddening and Tara would be dammed if she would just waste this relationship. It might be strange but Jax did not do normal anyway. And she would not give Gemma the satisfaction of dropping out now. "You are right. This isn't about trust. I don't know why but I felt uncomfortable with you being into other guys – I guess I still do. But I won't let it ruin the good thing we have, Jax. I am here and I promise you I will get over it."

Jax's face softened. "Come here, babe."

Tara moved closer and Jax pulled her into his lap, kissing her. She eagerly responded – the jealousy still lingering in her mind – and stared to get really into it. It was really not appropriate here but she would be dammed if this would stop her.

Footsteps sounded and Tara heard a muffled "Sorry, thought you were done" just when Jax wanted to slip a hand beneath her shirt.

She turned her head and saw the flustered looking Juice. Jax seemed unfazed. "You can enjoy the show for all I care, Juice. What do you think, babe?"

Juice actually flushed at the proposal which surprised Tara. She had thought the club was used to all kinds of crudeness. But regardless of what Juice decided, she would not fuck Jax with all of the club to see. She could only imagine what Gemma would say to that. "Not a chance, Teller. I guess you have to wait for tonight."

"You coming over then?" Jax asked.

"I might. If I decide you are worth my time."

Jax gave her a playful smile. "Oh really? Well, you better decide soon otherwise my bed will already be full."

"Not with anyone of quality," Tara said. She got up, kissed Jax goodbye and left, pretty sure that they had started to piece things together.

Later this night, Jax pushed her onto his bed chest first. Before Tara could turn around to face him, Jax was on top of her, pushing her down and attacking her neck with his mouth. Both of them were completely naked and she could feel Jax's dick on her backside. Tara tried to turn around again but Jax stopped her. "No babe. This is the way I want it."

Tara had planned to ride him tonight – partly because it was the least gay position she could think of – but knew it was pointless to argue with Jax once he had his mind made up, especially if it involved doggy style. Originally she had thought that all men liked the position but now that she knew the truth about Jax's sexuality it seemed a bit, well, gay to her. But these not at all sexy thoughts were driven from her mind when Jax pulled her to her hands and knees and roughly pushed into her. Without hesitation he started moving, pushing her into the mattress with every thrust. Tara moaned in pleasure. It was a bit rough but she could appreciate a good pounding from time to time.

Jax seemed to have the same idea. He set a rough and merciless pace that had her thrashing beneath him in no time. She felt getting close and was unable to keep the embarrassing moans from flowing out. "You like that, baby?" Jax whispered to her.

"Yeah," she gasped.

Jax chuckled. "Knew you would. How about you come for me then?"

He gave her another hard thrust, bent closer to her back and cupped her breasts. The new angle and additional contact was enough to send her over the edge. Tara arched in pleasure and for a moment every thought was pushed out of her head. When she came back from her high, she felt Jax give a few more thrusts and felt him spill himself deep inside of her. The VP pulled out of her and lay on his back next to her. "You okay, babe?" he said, giving her a lazy grin.

"Great," Tara said. She could have said more but did not want to fuel Jax's ego. The guy seemed to think himself as a sex god already – maybe because he kinda was – and while she found his cockiness more attractive than she liked to admit she did not want to inflate his head even further. Instead she just cuddled into him.

"Not bad for a gay guy, hm?" Jax asked, giving her a shit-eating grin. Apparently, he felt like he had won the argument – thought Tara wasn't sure which argument that would be.

"Don't sound so dammed pleased, Teller. I already knew your could use that dick of yours."

"Well, you know my dick. He is a handsome fellow but he needs constants reassurance. Don't you, Little Jax?"

Now Tara had to laugh besides herself. "He was very good. Not sure about his owner, though. He seems to have a few issues."

"Yeah, one of them being that one of my porn mags is missing. You know anything about that?"

Tara hadn't expected him to notice that. It made her wonder how much gay porn Jax was consuming at the side – none since they were back together, she hoped. "I may have taken one of them for research reasons."

One of the biggest smiles she had ever seen spread on Jax's face and she knew she was in trouble. When Jax looked at you like that you could expect merciless teasing for days straight. "You are a very dirty woman, Dr. Knowles. What did you do with it? Bring it work to spice up your lunch break?"

"I would never do that," Tara said, feeling herself blushing. "It's in my house. And I did not use it for that."

Jax raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that porn had another use than getting off."

"I wanted to find out how I feel about you being with other guys. I thought looking at porn might help."

Now the VP was looking at her with something like hunger in the eyes. "And did you like it?"

"Some of it," Tara admitted. "Probably as much as regular porn, I would say. One shooting was pretty good. Simon and Juan."

"A classic," Jax said, looking nostalgic for a moment. "It was hot back then already and now it always reminds me of...never mind."

Now Tara was interested. "What does it remind you of?"

Jax looked pained. "One of my hookups. Probably the most important one. Well, besides Ope since he was the first."

Oh. "Tell me more."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I want to know this side of you. I could deal with the outlaw, I am pretty sure I can deal with the bisexual."

Doubt was written on Jax's face but he nodded. "Alright. There was this little Latino guy that caught my eye when Wendy and I had split up. Great head, young and soft and eager. I had a lot of fun with him for a while. Ended it when you came back into my life."

He stopped, apparently unsure if he should continue. "It's okay," Tara said and actually meant it. She was surprisingly okay with the idea. It wasn't much of a stretch to imagine Jax dominating a smaller guy like he had just done with her.

"You want to know his name?" Jax asked, actually avoiding her eyes.

"I guess?" Tara said, a bit surprised by this.

"Juice."