Nadine was irritable. It was bad enough that she'd only managed two hours sleep, but what was worse was that those hours had been spent on her office sofa and her dreams would definitely not have received a PG rating. They'd involved a surreal combination of Amelia, Paris and Elizabeth McCord. She'd found herself naked in the Paris apartment she'd shared with Amelia, making love to an equally naked Secretary of State. It wasn't until she'd woken up, aroused and frustrated that she'd realised just how similar Amelia and Elizabeth were; not just physically, but emotionally as people too.
If her dreams were telling her nothing else, they were putting her on notice that she had a type after all: Strong, powerful, devastatingly attractive women who weren't afraid to show emotion or vulnerability. Then there were the hands. Amelia had strong hands, as did Elizabeth. Strong and lean with long, powerful fingers that Nadine was sure would take control; be firm; demanding. Great, she thought, now I'm never going to be able to look at her hands again.
And yet, throughout the day, the Secretary's hands were all Nadine could focus on — to the point that in the middle of a meeting Nadine noticed the Secretary surreptitiously glancing at them. She'd given Nadine a questioning look and all Nadine could do was give a small shake of her head and pray that the burning of her cheeks wasn't accompanied by a corresponding blush.
"What?" the Secretary asked. "Have I got pen on them?" She held both hands up examining them for non-existent marks.
"No Ma'am, there's nothing, I just zoned out for a bit. Apologies for staring." It'd been years since she'd blushed as much as she had in the past twenty-four hours and she was mortified at doing so now and more so at having been caught staring, probably lasciviously, at Elizabeth's hands.
Unprofessional as it was, she avoided the Secretary for as much of the day as possible until she was able to compartmentalise the memories of her dream from the daily routine in the office. She couldn't continue to have thoughts like this about her boss — particularly her straight, married, boss — and continue to do her job. So, over the next few days, she pushed all those thoughts aside, making sure she worked long and hard so in what little downtime she did have, she was too tired to think about Elizabeth. It was only in her dreams that her will betrayed her, and her sleeping mind ran wild with images that she craved but was simultaneously tormented by.
It was with relief that Nadine welcomed Amelia into her office the following Monday morning with a hug. She'd known Amelia for over thirty years; she was godmother to Roman and they knew each other inside out. Nadine craved the contact with her friend — the emotional as well as the physical. She and Amelia had always been tactile with each other; even before they'd been lovers. She missed having someone in her life who knew her, who would call her on any bullshit and who she could sit in silence with and yet know exactly what the other was thinking.
"Amelia, it's so good to see you." Nadine said gently. Amelia excelled at all encompassing hugs which, without fail, had always succeeded in relieving Nadine's tension. She could feel herself relaxing in her friends arms and the familiar comfort that this brought her soothed her. Amelia broke the hug first, holding Nadine at arms length and studying her. Nadine knew Amelia would have sensed her tension and now, no doubt, she'd want to know the reason for it.
"Nadine darling, is everything alright my sweet?"
"I'm fine," Nadine said, dismissing Amelia's concern with a shake of her head. "Come and sit with me — tell me everything." Nadine took her friend's hand and led her to the couch where they sat, fingers intertwined, and talked.
"So how is it, working for such a spectacular woman?" Amelia said grinning. Nadine gave her friend a wry smile. It was so typical of Amelia to get straight to the point.
"She's exceptional. Intelligent, strong, but with a gentleness, an empathy that still surprises me in a woman in her position."
'You're fond of her." It wasn't a question, but a statement, and Nadine found that she couldn't deny the fact to her friend as she would have to anyone else; to them she'd have passed it off as nothing but professional regard.
"Yes, I am." Amelia squeezed her hand as she admitted the fact quietly to Amelia, and for the first time aloud to herself.
"Nadine?" Both heads swivelled towards the door to see the Secretary of State leaning through the doorway, her hand steadying her on the doorjamb. Nadine immediately stood up at the sight of her boss and she watched with interest as Elizabeth followed the connection from her chief-of-staff, through linked hands, to Amelia.
"I'm interrupting. Sorry Nadine." Elizabeth said, hand up in apology as she began to retreat, although it appeared to Nadine she was reluctant to do so.
"No problem Ma'am. What can I do for you?" Nadine said beckoning the Secretary back into her office, where she acknowledged Nadine's guest with an apologetic nod. "Madam Secretary, allow me to introduce you to an old friend of mine, Amelia Rostoff." Nadine gently pulled Amelia to her feet.
Elizabeth did a double take at Amelia and turned a surprised look to Nadine. "Amelia Rostoff the choreographer?" She stepped forward eagerly, her hand extended. Amelia released Nadine's hand to shake the Secretary's. "It's such a pleasure to meet you Ms Rostoff, I'm a huge admirer of your work."
"Please, call me Amelia, Madam Secretary and the honour is all mine. I've told Nadine so very often how much I admire you and how lucky she is to be working for you." Nadine stood watching the two women interact; both gracious to the other and talking as if Nadine wasn't in the room.
"I'm the lucky one. Without Nadine by my side I'd be lost." Elizabeth smiled at Nadine, enjoying the sensation that came with being able to speak so truthfully to someone who was clearly close to Nadine. There was a lull in the conversation as Nadine savoured the unexpected comment. "Of course," Elizabeth tapped her forehead, "you're dance company is performing at the Kennedy Centre this week. I had hoped to get tickets, but it sold out so quickly I missed out."
"Nadine will always be able to get you tickets Madam Secretary. How many would you like? Just say the word and I'll arrange some for you."
Elizabeth smiled the infectious smile Nadine loved. "Well, I'm sorry to say, I'm the only dance fan in the family, so it would just be the one."
"Mai oui! Parfait! You can join Nadine in the box on Wednesday. It will be lovely, as long as you don't mind the choreographer popping in now and again to enjoy a glass of champagne with you both."
"That would be wonderful, and an extra-special treat," Elizabeth hesitated, "but I wouldn't want to impose on Nadine. I very much doubt she'd want to spend a rare night out of the office with me — after all, she sees me all day."
"Nonsense." Amelia dismissed Elizabeth's comment and looked at Nadine.
"It would be a pleasure to share the evening with you Ma'am. It's rare these days to have company on such evenings and it'll be lovely to enjoy it with someone," Nadine said, part of her regretting her honesty until she saw the happiness her response elicited.
"Well, as long as you're sure."
"It's settled," Amelia said clapping her hands together signifying a decision had been made and no argument would be tolerated. "I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday evening Madam Secretary."
"Was there something you needed from me Ma'am?" Nadine reminded Elizabeth that she must have come to her office with a purpose.
Elizabeth looked a little sheepish at the question. "I came to make sure that you planned on going home tonight and that you weren't sleeping on the sofa again."
Nadine was touched that Elizabeth would think of her. "I am Ma'am. I'm taking Amelia for an early pre-performance dinner and then treating myself to an early night."
"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Have a lovely evening and Amelia, it was a pleasure to meet you. I'm looking forward to the performance on Wednesday and to seeing you again. I'll see you tomorrow Nadine."
"Woweee!" Amelia said as the door closed behind the Secretary. She threw herself back onto Nadine's sofa. "She's even sexier in person than on television. Just…wow."
"Amelia," Nadine warned, "I don't need you hitting on the Secretary of State of the United States of America." Amelia chuckled.
"Oh honey, I'm not planning on it. As sexy as she is she's not my type." Amelia beckoned Nadine to join her on the sofa. "You should though."
Nadine chocked on the mouthful of coffee she was in the middle of swallowing. Amelia playfully slapped her back. "What?" Nadine's voice appeared to have risen a couple of octaves from her usual low throaty tones.
"Well, from the way you looked at her, and from the way she was particularly intrigued by the fact I was holding your hand, I think you should. You never know, the Secretary may be ready for une petite walk on the wild side."
"Oh Amelia, some things never change. You think everyone's gay."
"Well honey, often times they are."
"The Secretary is a happily married woman with three children and a gorgeous husband."
"Nadine, you know as well as I do that's not worth the Treaty its written on. And I also notice you're not denying that you're attracted to her."
"Amelia, you'd have to be dead and buried not to be attracted to Elizabeth McCord. The woman is stunning, as well as ridiculously intelligent and full of warmth. But I work for her. So, no. Let's move on."
"Okay honey," Amelia said. "For the moment," she added — but not quietly enough to avoid a gentle swat on the leg from Nadine.
Elizabeth sat at her desk, tapping a pen repeatedly on its surface. She was distracted, verging on irritated, and she had a vague sense it had something to do with having walked into her Chief-of-Staff's office to find her cosy on her couch, holding the hand of a glamorous and famous choreographer.
Nadine was always able to keep her slightly off-kilter, and Elizabeth wasn't used to that. As a top level CIA analyst, then as a hard-ass college professor and now as Secretary of State, she was used to being in total control, completely aware of her surroundings, able to read those around her from top diplomats to recalcitrant college students begging for an extension on their assignment, and she knew exactly how to handle both. But Nadine — she had no grip on.
She'd been working with the woman for a year before she learned that she had a son, and that before going to law school, had travelled Europe as part of a dance company. Until then, the only personal detail she knew about the Chief-of-Staff she'd inherited with the office, was that she'd had an affair with its previous occupant. But even that she'd had to drag from her. When Secretary Marsh died, Nadine showed none of the heartache she must have felt. She was a woman who played her cards close to her chest, not wanting to let anyone in; used to being in control of her life and destiny; used to not having to rely on anyone for anything.
She'd succeeded at law school while single handedly raising her son. And she'd succeeded in a world dominated by men. She was an amazing woman. And now Elizabeth had found her holding hands with Amelia. Elizabeth allowed a small chuckle at the petulant way she'd just said the choreographer's name in her head. She was acting like a jealous teenager — more so than any of her children ever had — all because Nadine apparently had a close relationship with someone and Elizabeth was finding that she didn't like the fact that she didn't know the woman she spent the majority of her days with as much as she'd like to.
She decided then and there that she was going to rectify that and she was looking forward to starting the process at the Kennedy Centre on Wednesday night, courtesy of…Elizabeth halted her internal thought process and forced herself to say the name aloud. "Amelia." She smiled to herself. See, I can be mature when I want to be.