Here's a fic based off of the MIB animated series, for the most part. Not much happened this chapter, but it's still a pretty good idea of the tone, and we do have an idea what will happen in future.
Random Unnamed MIB Fic.
"You gotta be kidding me." a black man in a dark suit said as he sat in a hard backed plastic chair in a meeting room, scraping something vaguely offensive and green off of one shoulder. "Another mission this soon? We just got finished with the Bartulons, and I think I've still got some of that green stuff down my..."
"Button it, Ace," a taller, lighter skinned man said where he reclined next to his partner, seemingly immaculate. "What do we have, chief?"
At the front of the room, an old, rather large man with steel grey hair stood straightening his tie, before stepping to a console at the desk and pressing a button. The dark skinned guy whistled when a huge, circular crater flashed into existence on the screen, the sides showing evidence of what had once been trees. "Mount Horai,Japan," the older man said in a gravelly voice. Tapping the button again, this time it showed another mountain, this one with a decent sized chunk blown out of it, as viewed from the side. "Jusendo Mountain,China."
"So what, we got someone blowin up mountains instead of drawing crop circles?" the youngest agent in the room asked, leaning forward and giving up on his suit's shoulder as a lost cause.
"No, actually, just some rowdy neighbors that we thought we had under control until now. Either of you heard of the Juraians?"
The dark skinned man shook his head, but his partner spoke up instantly. "Powerful humanoid race, have a non-interference treaty with Earth, prince's vacationing somewhere inJapan, if I recall. They'd be a class 1 threat, but they all seem to want to carrot farm and maintain a shrine out inOkayama."
"Carrot farm?" the other asked, but was only shrugged at.
"Well, apparently they've taken to defacing parts of our geology now," the older man said, clicking another slide to reveal a dark haired man, almost entirely human. Actually, if it weren't for the huge crackling ball of blue energy, he would have passed completely as an Asian boy in his late teens. "This one in particular has been seen at the sites of both of the disturbances I showed you, and in one case, assaulted a member of thePhoenixnamed Saffron."
"The other guy all right?" the youngest agent asked.
"He died," the man at the front of the room responded, and at the other's horrified look, he shrugged. "Happens all the time, don't worry about it."
"So we're supposed to catch this guy, right Zed?" the dark skinned man asked, pumping his fist.
"You're supposed to go to the Juraian's home and question him, check his permits, that sort of thing," the older man, now identified as Zed, informed, giving his top agents a half-lidded stare. He knew that things tended to blow up when they got involved, but he really didn't want to send anyone else into an alien infested warzone likeJapan.
"All right K, we can do that, right?" the green goop covered agent said, standing quickly.
"Calm down Slick, we'll do some research first, let's go." K said, standing as well.
"Sounds cool, I need to change my shirt anyhow," Slick said, as the door swung closed behind the two and Zed slumped down in his desk.
"Now, I wait for stuff to blow up," the old man said, and then looked over to the coffee maker that was perched in the corner of the room, intent on having a cup. When he saw that it was empty, the bellow of "WORMS?" could be heard half way through the MIB'sNew Yorkcomplex.
HR.
A brown haired woman hummed merrily to herself as she swept the front walk of her family's home. It was, she decided, a beautiful day. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and Ranma was falling through the air on a ballistic arc that had apparently started in Happosai's room. This was a rather normal part of Kasumi Tendo's life, and she added one more item to her checklist of chores, as the roof above the old master's bedroom was probably shattered.
Most people would get annoyed over having to repair roofs as part of their weekly regime, but Kasumi, as a proud member of the Tendo Branch of Indiscriminate Housewifery, founded by her mother, welcomed the challenges as Ranma did eight foot tall tentacle monsters with bull horns. For a moment, she pondered testing out a new method of driving nails into wood with her bare hands, before a man clearing his throat distracted her from her thoughts.
When she looked up, Kasumi saw two foreign men, both wearing identical dark suits with white dress-shirts. "Can I help you?" she asked, bowing politely and wishing that she'd remembered to close the front gate. She supposed that the Americans couldn't be blamed for not waiting in front of an open gate.
"Hello, I'm agent Kimura, and this is agent Jiro, Department of Culture, Division 6," one of the men said, taking a badge out of his jacket and showing it quickly. "We're looking for Ranma Saotome."
"Oh, Ranma-kun's not here right now," the oldest Tendo said, looking at the men quizzically. "You wouldn't happen to be engaged, or have any relatives who are engaged to him, would you?"
The two men exchanged glances, before the younger said "No, we just need to talk to him about some paperwork he needs to file with us, that's all."
Kasumi wanted to ask what on earth Ranma could want with the Department of Culture, but knew that it wouldn't be good for a polite host to do. "He should be back soon, why don't you come in for tea?" She offered.
Both men nodded and stepped into the house, studying everything about the place as the young girl lead them into the main room. "Is that..." one of them asked, pointing shakily at Mr. Saotome, who was playing Shogi with Mr. Tendo.
"What are you looking at?" the panda said, by way of a sign it pulled out of nowhere.
"Oh, that's just Mr. Saotome, Ranma's father," Kasumi said cheerfully. "These men are here to see Ranma, Saotome-san."
Genma slowly nodded, then, as he took in the dark suited forms, so obviously government agents that even he got it, his eyes bulged. "Gotta go, Soun ol' buddy!" was quickly scribbled on a sign, which was dropped to the game board as the animal scampered out the porch door and over the compound wall.
This apparently got a reaction, as agent Kimura was standing with a small, shiny looking pistol drawn, but hadn't had a chance to fire. Seeing the weapon, Soun's eyes narrowed. "Put that away, sir," he said, in a much more stern voice than was usual for him.
The dark clad man reluctantly obliged, slipping the gun below his jacket, and the strained atmosphere was broken as Nabiki sauntered into the room from the hall. Her eyebrow rose as she saw the two agents, but she didn't say anything as she moved over to the low table, sitting there and waiting with her arms crossed for what was about to happen.
After a few minutes of silence, which Kasumi used to bring in the tea, Nabiki finally spoke. "All right, which Saotome did what?" she asked, pulling a small notebook from apparently nowhere.
"No one has done anything," Agent Kimura said, quickly.
"Yeah, we're just here to talk to this Ranma guy," Jiro continued.
"All right, so it's Ranma. FBI, CIA, NSA, JSDF, MI5, NERV, Interpole or KGB?" the middle Tendo continued, looking down a list. "Hmm, he's black, so probably not..." She crossed several things off of her paper.
Both agents looked at each other again. "This happen often?" Jiro finally decided to ask.
"We haven't had Men in Black show up yet, but similar, yes." Nabiki said, getting a noticeable flinch from both men. "So, what? Did he accidentally hit one of your secret bases when he was fighting Ryoga?"
"You ask a lot of questions," Kimura observed, deadpan.
"It pays well," Nabiki replied, before getting a look from Kasumi. The two sisters stared into each-other's eyes for a moment, before the former finally looked away. "I'll just let the idiot deal with it," she decided.
Just as she said that, the front door opened and the sound of footsteps could be heard tromping through it. "Look, I told you he attacked me!" arather irritated female voice said.
"And that's why you were beating him up so badly," another said. "He was down and you kept on punching."
"Akane, it's Ryoga, he didn't even feel most of..." The first voice trailed off as the two girls entered the house's main room to see the guests. One of them, with dark blue-black hair looked slightly embarrassed, while the other, a short redhead fell into a stance in front of the first, her actions obviously defensive.
"All right, what's goin on here?" the redhead demanded, her eyes flickering from one person to the next, noting with relief that both Nabiki and Kasumi seemed relaxed.
"These had better not be more fiances," the blue-black haired girl said, tossing a glance over to the Shogi board, but finding no panda there to glare at.
"I broke all the old man's bones... twice... last time he engaged me to a guy, doubt he's that stupid this time," the redhead said, casually.
"Ranma, Akane, these are agents Kimura and Jiro of the Department of Culture, they're here to speak to you, Ranma-kun," Kasumi interrupted smoothly, giving both her sister and the younger girl's fiance very slightly disapproving looks.
"Wait, I thought this Ranma was a guy," Jiro said, blinking in confusion.
"I am, just a sec," Ranma said, hoping that the curse would maybe scare these two suited goons off, if they wanted something to do with her father. "Kasumi, ya mind?" she asked, gesturing to the tea pot in the middle of the table.
The eldest Tendo nodded obligingly, and the young martial artist scooped up the pot, dumping it over her head. As she shot up in height, red hair was replaced by black, and soft curves gave way to well-defined muscle, both of the guests had different reactions.
"Oh man," Jiro said, looking slightly green, as he sat down on the opposite side of the low table from a smirking Nabiki. "Nothin about this job should bother me, but it does..."
"Definitely not Juraiyan," Kimura muttered to himself, scratching his chin. Looking around, he decided that these people had already been exposed to alien culture, and doing a little more exposition before he called in a clean-up team really wouldn't hurt them. "Ranma Saotome, on behalf of the Men in Black, Earth's extra-terrestrial policing agency, I and my partner are here to bring you in for questioning in regards to several unexplained breaches of secrecy protocol, as well as your lack of registration. You will come with us immediately."
"Extra-terrestrial?" Akane asked, blinking slowly.
Nearby, Nabiki was gaping like a fish out of water. "A... aliens?" she stuttered, shocked. "Saotome, what's this about you being an alien?"
"That's a joke, right?" Ranma asked, after taking several seconds to process what he'd just been told. "I know my ol' man's a real piece o' work, but it'd really surprise me if he were a tentacle monster, and I'm damned sure I'm human. Then again, Mom is kinda weird."
"Maybe he's another Earth born whose parents forgot to tell him?" Jiro offered.
"Possible, I suppose," Kimura mumbled, and pulled a small computer out of his pocket. "We could run a search on anyone who could have..." He shook his head. "Regardless, you have breached secrecy, and there's a lot of paperwork we need you to fill out."
Ranma paused and thought for a moment. This was a rarity for him, but then, all he could see in the way of weapons on the two were shoulder holsters under their jackets, so he didn't feel too threatened. "Lemme guess, I don't do this and you guys start blowin stuff up?"
"We would be required to use as much force as necessary, yes," Kimura confirmed.
"Well, I ain't an alien, what happens when we go and ya find that out?" Ranma countered.
"We let you leave," Kimura returned reassuringly, and as his partner was about to speak up, he shot him a warning glance. "We have no desire to hurt or inconvenience humans."
"Fine, so long as this ain't gunna take too long, I'll go," Ranma grumbled. If these guys had been martial artists, he would have put up a fight, but it was generally not a good idea to screw with government agencies, especially if you were in one place for a long period of time.
"Jiro, take him out to the car, I'll handle things here," Kimura ordered, as Akane and Soun both burst out of their shocked states at what had just been said.
"Ranma, wait!" Akane said, catching the martial artist at the door, and the two started talking quietly.
Soun wasn't nearly as subdued, bursting into tears for a moment before recomposing himself. "You will not take my son-in-law away to wherever you are going!" he boomed.
"Mr. Tendo, are you aware of the average viability rate of human-alien offspring?" Kimura said, deadpan. "Also, have you heard of an animal called a liger?"
Mr. Tendo looked confused, but then Nabiki started to snicker. "Wait, you mean Saotome could be.." she started, and then burst into laughter. She didn't really believe this alien thing, it was sort of like the time last month when a prince from Uzbecastan had come claiming that Ranma was his long lost lady love, but the concept that everyone in Nerima had been wasting their time to acquire a dud was too priceless not to laugh at. She looked at her father, who had a dark look on his face, and composed herself. "He means that, due to genetic incompatibilities, if Ranma IS half human, or even if he's a full alien and manages to have children, there would be sterility within a generation."
"What?" Soun asked, blinking.
"Sterility means you can't have children, daddy," Kasumi chipped in, before picking up the tea service and walking into the kitchen.
Soun processed this for a moment, and then started crying his eyes out. Kimura was honestly surprised that one person could produce so many tears. When Akane came back into the room, her eyes downcast slightly, the black clad man cleared his throat, took out a pair of sun glasses and put them on before removing a ball point pen from his pocket.
He fiddled around with the pen for a moment, as Nabiki peered closely at it, before it made several soft beeping noises and flashed brightly. "Ranma has gone on a student exchange trip to the United States. He also has a chance at a job offer there."
"Oh, how nice," Kasumi said, from the kitchen door. "I hope he enjoys his trip."
Agent K slipped his neuralizer back into his pocket, a little disconcerted that the oldest Tendo had recovered from the device's trance so quickly, but shrugged it off. If it hadn't taken, the clean-up crews would get her later.
HR.
"So, saw ya whispering to your girlfriend, she's pretty cute," Agent J commented off-hand, as he sat in the front seat of a large black car, Ranma slumped casually in the back.
"Just don't try 'n kidnap her, and we'll get along fine," the Japanese youth commented, as he gazed out the window.
"That happen a lot?" the American asked, a little bemused by his current charge's behavior. To tell the truth, he'd been absolutely positive that something was going to go wrong with this mission. Things had seemed way too easily wrapped up. That was, of course, when the car rocked, and an enraged face appeared at the rear window.
"You'd be surprised," Ranma returned, before turning to the window and sighing. "Aw, crap," he muttered, as he saw the face of Ryoga Hibiki, his mouth contorted with rage and showing one fang. He was bellowing something, but apparently the car's materials kept sound out unusually well, because the young martial artist couldn't hear any of it. "I should probably get out 'n deal with the pig," he grumbled.
"Oh no, you're stayin right here," Jay objected, opening the passenger door and stepping out. "Yo, you, stop scratching the paint!"
Ryoga turned towards him, and he only belatedly noticed that there was a dent in the supposedly ultra-tough alloy of the car door where the younger man had apparently used an umbrella to try and smash it in. "Ranma, you coward, get out here and fight me like a man!" the lost boy bellowed, banging on the door with his fists this time. Ranma said something, and Jay caught something about idiotic pigs, but felt that it would be a bad idea to relay that comment.
"Sorry, but you ain't gunna get to play with your friend right now, we need him," the black clad agent said, vaguely wondering how big an assault force MIB headquarters was going to have to muster when they finally took in every alien in this region. Ryoga didn't respond, only picking up his umbrella again and preparing to bash the car. Ranma was also moving, and the last thing Jay needed was for the two of them to start to fight right now. "Sorry, pal," he said, drawing the Noisy Cricket, and dialing the silencer open to a wider shot. Pulling the trigger, he barely managed to keep himself from flying backwards by anchoring to the car with one hand, but his opponent wasn't so lucky, as he was picked up, launched straight over the Tendo Compound's wall.
Seconds later, a tremendous splash was heard, and K exited the compound, his uniform's shirt dripping, and a small black pig in his hand. "This yours, slick?" he asked, and Jay could have sworn that one eyebrow was twitching.
In the car, Ranma was shaking his head, unsure whether to laugh or feel worried for Ryoga. When the two agents entered the car, and settled the drenched and unconscious pig in between the seats, he settled on being a little worried. "You ain't gunna hurt Ryoga for damaging this thing, are ya?" the martial artist asked.
"Don't worry, the only one I'd kill for scratching the paint is slick here," K said, as the group started out of the Nerima district.
HR.