Chapter Two: Things Happen
Part two of two; Prologue
In a small town like Munhai, people knew each and every other person or pet by name and face. Traveling strangers stood out like an elephant in a bathroom. If they looked like a decent sort, they'd soon get swamped in friendly greetings. If they looked like the kind that could cause a lot of trouble pedestrians gave them a wide berth, nobody talking to them until talked to.
The man wearing black robes, face covered in a dark mask, seemed like the sort that would cause more than a lot of trouble. They kept their distance the streets nearly empty as he and a small boy, dressed in an identical, smaller robe, walked through the center of town.
Kakuzu ambled down the street, trying and failing to deal with his headache. His cause of distress? It usually busied itself by running circles around him, chattering so fast he couldn't understand a damn thing it said.
"Woudalkfhgaklsldkghajl!" the boy screeched, attracting looks from bystanders.
If he had faster ears, Kakuzu would have heard something else, "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go-"
Right then and there, on a nearly deserted road in a town in the ass-end of nowhere that no-one knew about, Kakuzu almost broke down crying, 'Why couldn't he have been the silent type? Why? And I can't even get rid of him, after that episode with the pandas he won't let me out of his sight! But maybe...'
"Naruto!" Kakuzu yelled abruptly, causing said boy to stop running around, almost leaving skid-marks on the ground, and look at him with wide, attentive, blue eyes.
'Dammit! Now he's giving me the look and making me feel guilty! How does he do that?' unbidden, his thoughts strayed to more important matters, '…I still can't believe how much money we save getting most of our home-cooked meals like this, women can't resist feeding him when he breaks out 'the other look'.'
Naruto started bouncing up and down in place, "What is it what is it what is it what is-"
Kakuzu cut him off loudly, "I decided that, considering how well you did with ambushing the last bounty, to let you buy anything from whatever store you want."
"Yes!" Naruto screamed, making Kakuzu's ears ring.
"But only if I say you can buy it!" he yelled at the boy's retreating back, checking his ears for blood.
A moment later Kakuzu sighed, staring up into the sky, "You'd think after five years I'd get used to the brat's constant screaming." he said out loud, "The more days that go by, the more I wish I gave him to the wolves."
Lowering his gaze, a bright, vibrantly colored sign caught his eye. Kakuzu read the characters, mouth widening underneath his mask and eyes lighting up.
Falling to his knees, Kakuzu wept joyfully. "There is a god and I believe!" he screamed to the sky, "There is a god and I believe!"
The handful of bystanders gave him an even wider berth.
0o0o0o0o0o
After entering the store and buying some new... supplies... Kakuzu left, dancing down the street in the direction Naruto went and singing a jaunty tune, practically giddy, "Oh! I won't have to get rid of that brat. Yeah! I won't have to get rid of that brat! If he just gets on my nerves I'll just-" and went on like that, horribly off-key and stumbling here and there.
It didn't take long for a black, blonde topped blur to ram into him, sending him to the ground in a huge cloud of dust and knocking the breath out of him.
"Old man I found the best thing ever-you have to follow me! Get up get up get up get up get-"
You'd think an S-ranked Ninja would have caught a boy careening towards them, but then again Kakuzu let Naruto get away with a number of things that would have surprised his greatest friends, if he had any. Plus, Rule of Funny applies.
Kakuzu closed his eyes for a moment, his hand darting into his pocket. Using such speed Naruto couldn't hope to see, he slipped whatever he had in his hand into his ears. Then he opened his eyes.
He saw Naruto's mouth flapping around so fast you could have cut a tree with it. Spittle flew at him, landing on his mask and robe, but he paid no attention to it. He could hear only one thing thanks to his seal enhanced ear plugs; something he haven't heard in years: silence, blessed silence.
All that sleep he missed in the last five years had started creeping up on him, so Kakuzu, laying on a nearly deserted road in a town in the ass-end of nowhere that no-one knew about, decided to start catching up.
Naruto jumped off him, "Get up, I have to show you! It's just around the corner!" he screamed. He grabbed Kakuzu's arm and, using all the strength his little, five year old body could muster, pulled on it.
Kakuzu didn't budge, other than his arm. Too busy in his own, silent world, he didn't have the time to deal with the brat.
Naruto screamed in frustration, slapping his mentor's face.
Kakuzu twitched.
The little blonde boy leaped back up, huffing angrily. "Get up, stupid!" he yelled.
Kakuzu laid on the ground, drifting away on the hard ground made of clouds. The sharp rock jabbing into his side might has well have been a pea for all the good it did staving off dreamland.
Reaching the end of his five year old temper, Naruto started jumping around Kakuzu's body, kicking him savagely with all his strength every time he landed; but still his mentor slept. On and on Naruto went, his kicks traveling further down Kakuzu's body. Behind his mask Kakuzu yawned, adjusting his body for comfort.
Eventually Naruto gave up, stomping and fuming angrily around the deserted street. "Fine!" he yelled at the slumbering bounty hunter, "You'll just have to see when you wake up!"
Naruto gave him one last kick. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it landed in a very soft, vulnerable area.
The screams sent the few people outside scurrying into their houses.
0o0o0o0o0o
Kakuzu winced as he limped down the street, exhausted from lack of sleep and tormented by a horrible pain that no man or boy should ever feel. Naruto, pulling him down the road by his arm, chattered excitedly about this and that.
The boy had abused his sensei's parts thoroughly with his foot, and Kakuzu couldn't do anything to punish him. Why one might ask? He only had been punished once, at the age of three. Suffice to say, what he had been punished for doing involved a huge family of racoons, a couple of kunai, a frying pan, a bunch of bananas, and an ostrich.
That said, the panda incident made all that look like a day at the beach. The Sotu beach to be exact, a favorite vacation spot for newlywed couples.
Kakuzu punished him appropriately. When he finished, Naruto turned to look at him with such a sad look in his eyes, tears leaking out, mouth quivering, and a bunch of pitiful whimpers that Kakuzu felt like the biggest bastard in the world. He didn't feel like he kicked a puppy, he felt like he kicked a whole litter of puppies, burned down an orphanage, tossed said litter of puppies into the flames, and roasted marshmallows while he listened to the combined screams of said puppies and orphans.
That coming from the guy who once killed a priest for a couple of bills.
Eventually the odd pair came to a vibrantly colored building. Two stories tall, it loomed over all other structures in the area. Above the double door entrance an old sign hung, proudly declaring; 'The best pet store in Munhai, Yumi's Circus!'
Through his painful haze, Kakuzu cradled his wounded parts and wondered, 'Why the bloody hell does a town populated with less than a thousand people need a God-damn pet store?'
"Look sensei! Look!" Naruto yelled, running up to the store-front window.
"What?"growled Kakuzu, wincing when it sent a painful jolt through his body.
"Just look!" the boy retorted, stomping his foot angrily.
Limping a couple steps forward, Kakuzu leaned closer to the window. Through it, he made out a... litter of puppies with blonde fur, playing around with each other and rough-housing.
Naruto pressed himself against the window with such force Kakuzu thought he'd go through it. Tapping on the glass, he called, "Come here boy, come here!"
As one, all the puppies turned to look at the odd noise's origin, one cocking it's head to the side.
"Come here boy!" Naruto called.
The one that cocked it's head to the side trotted up to the window, it's brown eye and blue eye latched onto Naruto.
"How you doing Nataki, how you doing?" Naruto cooed.
The puppy leaped up and started clawing at the glass, making Kakuzu raise an eyebrow.
"You've already named it?" he queried incredulously.
Naruto didn't hear him.
Kakuzu cleared his throat, "Naruto, we can't get him."
That time he heard him.
"What?" he demanded, a look of complete betrayal crossing his face, "Why?"
"Because we're always on the move. That dog will slow us down and we can't afford that."
"But-but!" tears welled up in Naruto's eyes.
"Um, excuse me." said a polite voice.
Kakuzu, thankful for the interruption, turned to the side and saw a long, brown-haired woman with rather plain features. She wore a V neck dress that teased the eye, at odds with her demeanor.
"I..." she took a deep breath, "I was wondering if you could escort me to the next town over. This region is infamous for bandits."
Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, taking in all her features without moving his eyes, 'A slight bulge in her left underarm...'
"Why should I?" he demanded, crossing his arms, "I'm pressed for time as it is, I have business in this region."
"Well-um... because you look really strong... and I'm willing to pay." the woman proffered, wincing as his eyes bored straight into her's.
'Another, smaller bulge on her right side.' Kakuzu noted, 'Didn't think I'd notice that, did you?'
"How much?" Kakuzu growled, annoyed.
"I-I don't have much on me, but there's a bank in the next town. I can withdraw some money there." she all but mumbled.
Kakuzu almost snorted, 'Please, amateur. If you're playing the shy civilian I've seen better, wear something else than that skank-blouse and you might be spot on.'
"How much?" he repeated, harder this time.
"Um... about a thousand bills." she muttered.
"No." Kakuzu growled, turning to Naruto he declared, "We're leaving."
The woman swept past him, "Oh my god, he's so cute!" she cooed. Hunching down on her knees, looking Naruto straight in the eye, she asked him, "What's your name little guy?"
'Giving up on the shy act and going for the weakest link in the chain in hopes of breaking it...' Kakuzu noted.
Naruto discreetly looked over to his mentor, Kakuzu nodded slightly.
Clearing his throat, he said clearly, "Naruto, ma'am."
"Awwwww!" she cooed, "Such nice manners you have! My name's Yuka." Leaning closer, she gave him a nice view of something that would have held his attention if he didn't still think girls had cooties. Instead he noticed she had pretty green eyes.
"Naruto, we're leaving." Kakuzu repeated impatiently.
Yuka whipped around, "But what about me?" she demanded, tears shining in her eyes, "The bandits will rip me apart!"
'Subtle as a kick in the-' Kakuzu started, wincing at the end when a certain area of his body flared in pain.
"Bandits?" Naruto demanded abruptly, "We can't let her get hurt sensei, we've got to help her!"
His sensei gave him a cool look, even after years of teaching Kakuzu hadn't managed to beat out that naïve innocence Naruto had shooting out of his ears like colorful rainbows. Maybe if he...
Kakuzu stood silent for a moment, weighing out what could happen.
"How much did you say you were going to pay?" he demanded suddenly.
"Um, one thousand." Yuka said.
"...fine."
Naruto whooped in joy, not noticing the odd smile on their new client's face.
"You guys should get a head start while the sun's still up." Kakuzu grumbled, turning and walking away, "A day wasted with idleness is a day gone forever."
"Wait, what do you mean 'you guys'?" Yuka ordered.
"Like I said before, I have business to take care of around here. Naruto you're taking this one solo."
"Bu-but what if something happens!" said boy asked shrilly, he hated going around on his own; especially after what happened with the pandas.
Kakuzu stopped, sighing and turning around, "I'm not going to be too far away, remember that lead I got a bit ago?"
Naruto nodded, his hair bouncing around like a mop.
"Besides," Kakuzu added, a smile forming under his mask, "you're a tough little brat. I'm sure you can handle any number of bandits."
Grinning, Naruto chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head.
"And once we meet up again I'm going to teach you how to blow stuff up."
For many years Yumi's Circus would keep a single red parrot in their facilities. No one would ever buy it, for the moment it heard someone enter the store, it would scream at the top of its lungs, "Yes!"
The shop owner didn't care though, as long as it couldn't shatter every window within a five mile radius like the kid that taught it.
0o0o0o0o0o
"Say again, target has eluded you? Over."
"I just said that!" she whispered furiously into a small, black device, "He stuck me with his brat when I-"
Angry thumping on the bathroom door stopped her mid-sentence, "When are you getting out of there!? Sensei said women took a long time to use the bathroom but I never knew you'd take foreeever!" the voice whined.
Yuka growled, "I've been in here for two minutes!"
"Forever!" Naruto repeated shrilly.
"I'll be out in a minute just let me finish!"
"For-ever!"
0o0o0o0o0o
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