No One Heals Me Like You
Chapter Two
November 2009
Derek groaned when a cell phone ringing incessantly woke him up a few hours later, around seven pm. Penelope lay clinging to him, still asleep. He gently rolled her away and went to search for the phone. He got it out of her purse and looked at the screen. Kevin Bear is what it said. Derek shook his head at the nickname and took it back to the bedroom.
Before he could even get there he heard Penelope whimper in her sleep and whip awake "Morgan?"
She looked all around.
He hurried back through the beads that separated the rooms.
"I'm right here." He sat on the bed. Reaching out he brushed her hair out of her eyes. Then he passed her the phone. "Lynch keeps calling."
"Oh. Okay. I better call him back before he gets worried and comes over. I can't deal with seeing anyone tonight."
Derek stood up. "You hungry?"
"I don't think I can eat anything."
"The next few days are going to feel endless. We've got to take care of ourselves and each other, baby girl. I'm going to go out and get some take-out soup from the diner and some rolls. And pick up a quart of ice cream." Comfort food. "Will you be okay for half an hour?"
She looked into his eyes for a long moment. "Give me five minutes and I'll go with you, okay?"
He nodded and left the room, going into the bathroom. He knew just how she felt. Even the five minutes she needed alone to talk to her boyfriend would be painful to get through. Penelope and Derek needed to be right next to each other as much as possible right now because otherwise it would feel like the world that was caving in around them would consume them.
Their strength was in being together.
XXXXXXXXXX
Almost two hours later they were back on her couch. They had went to get the food, picked up Clooney and some clothes for Derek, then rented a few movies, even though they both knew their minds wouldn't be able to focus on the plot.
After they got done eating Penelope took the empty containers and dishes to the kitchen. Derek stood up to help her and she waved him off. "I've got it, my love."
When she came back into the room his eyes moved from looking all around at it, and she could tell he was once again lost in memories. He asked "Why do you stay here, baby? I would have thought you'd move out and start fresh."
"Something horrible happened here but some amazing things happened too. This is my home. I don't see him when I'm here….I see all the good things. Like when JJ helped me paint it purple in here and when Henry took his first steps after pulling himself up on that coffee table right there and when you stayed here with me and I knew you'd always be my best friend. This apartment isn't haunted for me. I like it here."
Hearing that seemed to relieve Derek. He patted the spot next to him on the couch and put his arm over the back of it. "I saved you a spot."
Not ashamed to show him just how much she needed him, right now nothing else mattered but being held by him and easing the pain, Penelope went over and sat down. She wrapped one arm around his mid-section and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you for coming over. You're the only one I want when life sucks this bad."
"You know I'd do anything to stop you from suffering or getting hurt ever again…but it don't work that way. All I can say is I'm here for you, no matter what happens."
For a few minutes they held each other while he stroked her hair. She pulled back a little and looked up into his eyes. The moment was fraught with emotion. Penelope placed a kiss on Derek's cheek.
She whispered "How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing hero be my best friend?"
He gave her a small grin. "Baby, I'm no prize."
A sad smile curved her lips. "Says who? Cause from where I'm sitting it feels like I hit the jackpot."
"Yeah, well, as long as you think so."
"I more than think so. I know so. I know you're the man who will always stick by me and always make the pain less, never more. I know I need you more than anyone else. I know that everything that happened in my life before the day I met you happened to let me meet my noir hero....I know my life would suck if I ever lost you from it...and, most of all and this is the really good part, I know you love me just as much as I love you and that's forever."
His voice was deep and husky when he asked "Oh, yeah, Garcia? You just figure all that out?"
"Your hotness had me in a daze till just this moment. I'm finally starting to think straight again."
"You're such a silly girl."
Their tender moment turned teary for her at those words, as the memories of him telling her that he loved her for the first time struck her just then. She had thought, for just a moment, that maybe they would get together after that but then she went to sleep and when she woke up the world was falling apart around her again and she had convinced herself that Derek didn't mean it that way.
Now she buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried for them and for Hotch and Haley, and all their friends that were suffering, and for little Jack, who had lost his mother. She sobbed and sobbed while Derek cried too.
(Come to me now
and lay your hands over me.
-
Even if its a lie
say it will be all right
and I shall believe
-
I'm broken in two
and I know that you're on to me
that I only come home
when I'm so alone.
-
But I do believe.
-
That not everything is
going to be the way you think it ought to be.
-
Seems every time I try to make it right
it all comes down on me.
-
Please say honestly
you won't give up on me
and I shall believe
-
I shall believe) (Sheryl Crow)
Finally he carried her to the bedroom and he told her "Change into something more comfortable, baby girl. Time for this day to be over for us."
"Finally."
"Yeah, finally."
She went into the bathroom to change and he changed right there, yanking on sweats and an FBI t-shirt. She put on her pajama pants and a sweat shirt. He pulled back her comforter and guided her into bed.
Derek crouched next to the bed and said "I will get you through this. I swear that to you."
"Handsome, we'll get each other through this together….Are you going to stay in here with me?"
"You want me to?"
She moved back on the bed and he took that to mean yes. He got in bed with her and she moved straight into his arms. Her heart was full of pain and her mind was swimming with memories of that day and memories of the last two painful and scary years. Penelope hadn't woken up this morning thinking there was any way she could get Derek this close to her. She woke up still pissed off about Tamara Barnes, like she had been for a month.
Worried and sick over that woman. A sixth sense telling her that Derek could be lost to her forever if she didn't do something to stop what was developing between them. That Tamara would bring Derek nothing but pain and Penelope nothing but grief.
Now Tamara was a distant thought because she didn't truly matter when it came to their world. She had no place in their lives. Truth be told either did Kevin.
What mattered was their family and, even if it hurt the outsiders, this was a time when Penelope planned to be as selfish as she could and cling to her family as hard as they would let her. Not caring about the hurt feelings or wounded pride of others.
She needed her family now and she needed Derek the most. As long as he felt the same they were going to just keep holding on till the sun shone again in their dark, dark part of the world. If anyone could get her through this she knew it would be him. Because he was the strongest person she knew and he was the one who made her smile and laugh the most.
He was also the first man she ever fell in love with and the only one she couldn't stop loving or give up. The only one she couldn't walk away from. The only one she could forgive anything. The only one who she needed tonight or any night.
She clung to him and prayed that they could make it through the heartbreak and get to a good place again. It seemed far off but she believed in Derek. He wouldn't let her down. All she had to do was give him her trust and now she was ready to do that with all she had. No more walls and no more worries. She would just hold him and not let go.
(Open the door
and show me your face tonight
-
I know its true.
No one heals me like you
and you hold the key.
-
Never again will I turn away from you.
-
I'm so heavy tonight
but you're love is all right
and I do believe
-
that not everything is gonna be
the way it ought to be.
Every time I try to make it right
it all comes down on me.
-
Please say honestly you won't
give up on me
and I shall believe.
I shall believe)