Notes: It's like one in the morning and I'm supposed to be writing an essay but I'm not doing that because I'm a Responsible Adult! Anyways here you go, here's Nicky! Also, I want to be clear, since I wasn't before, but anything that's left you kinda like "lol what?" will absolutely be elaborated on as the story progresses! And all chapters from here on out will not be in Joe's point of view because I've discovered I hate writing from his point of view. And to the guest who left a review: That's the plan when this is all said and done! Thank you for taking the time to review!
Trigger warnings: suicide attempt, overdosing, canonical character death, language, discussions of hallucinations (nothing too bad but it's there!)
When Nicky wakes up and sees her Uncle Joe's face, her first thought is that she's dead. Which she can't really comprehend at this point, because her head feels fuzzy and last time she checked, she'd been with Uncle Jamie. She blinks not fully understanding where she is or what the hell she's seeing. "Uncle Joe?" She manages to get out, before realizing she's in a hospital and she's drugged up. Oh, she thinks, I must be hallucinating then.
She closes her eyes, for a brief moment before opening them again. When she does Uncle Joe is gone, and she thinks that makes sense. She could already feel her head clearing and she's already more aware of her surroundings, as the last bits of exhaustion have left her. It's then she notices the pain in her abdomen.
Memories of her day come flying back to her, specifically the altercation that had happened while her and Uncle Jamie had been out. Even more specifically she remembers she was stabbed, and vaguely she remembers Uncle Jamie being hurt. The moment the thought enters her mind, she tries to sit up, heart racing with fear.
The moment she gets herself to a sitting position, however, the door opens, and she's faced with her mother, who immediately comes over and has her lay back down. "You don't want to tear those stitches, sweetie." Her mother says, softly.
"U-uncle Jamie?" She manages to stutter out, looking at her mother with wide eyes.
"He's alright," Her mother says, soothingly. "Shaken up, but he's alright."
She relaxes, with a sigh of relief. Her mother fiddles with Nicky's blankets and she knows that somethings wrong. "Mom, what's wrong?" Her mother isn't exactly an open book, but she can just tell something isn't right.
"You scared us today, you know?" She immediately feels guilt creep up on her. "It's not your fault, but you did. I was so scared I was going to lose you."
"But you didn't." Nicky says, eliciting a small smile from her mother.
"You're right," Her mothers whispers, with a slight nod. "And thank God for that."
The next time she sees Uncle Joe, she's in another hospital, but this time it's not her in a hospital bed, it's her Uncle Jamie. Her mother says he overdosed and that he'll live. But Nicky can't help but wonder if he'll be fine. She's glad he'll live, of course, but she worries about how he'll be when he wakes up.
She wrestles with these thoughts safely behind the doors of the hospital restroom, where she doesn't feel like she has to pretend she isn't crying. She looks in the mirror and her eyes are rimmed with red and her cheeks are red. She rubs vigorously at her face, hoping in vain that she'll be able to erase the evidence that she was crying. When that fails, she turns the sink on and splashes her face with cold water.
When she looks back in the mirror, she almost jumps out of her skin. Standing just behind her is her Uncle Joe. Her Uncle Joe who is supposed to be dead. She stares, mouth agape at his reflection, not daring to turn around, lest he disappear. She's certain he's not a hallucination and she's not dreaming (though she wishes she was, maybe then Uncle Jamie would be okay).
"Uncle Joe?" Her voice sounds awful from her crying, and she cringes at the sound of it. A smile graces her uncle's features and he nods. "Why are you…?" A horrible thought enters her mind, that her Uncle Jamie is dead and that's why Uncle Joe is here. Her eyes widen. "You can't take him Uncle Joe; I can't lose another uncle."
Her uncle raises an eyebrow, looking confused. She wonders why he isn't speaking and realizes he probably can't. It's strange how she's rationalizing seeing her dead uncle in a hospital restroom. It's then that she realizes this is the women's restroom and that her Uncle Joe is absolutely not supposed to be in here. "Uncle Joe, this is the women's restroom!" She sounds so scandalized when she says it that it catches her off guard.
Her uncle takes it in stride; a soundless laugh leaves his lips, and Nicky can almost pretend that she can hear him laughing. A smile graces her lips, and when she blinks, Uncle Joe is gone. She realizes that he must have been here to cheer her up and that leaves her with a warm feeling in her chest.
Next, it's at Uncle Jamie's apartment, after he'd been released from the hospital. Nicky was spending the night there, as her mother thought it might help lift Uncle Jamie's spirits. They're sitting on the couch talking, Uncle Jamie's smiling and laughing and she's happy to see him doing better. "You want to ask, don't you?" He says, suddenly.
She's surprised that he asks directly like that, because she does but she'd been worried about upsetting him. She casts her gaze down to her lap. "Yeah…" Her voice is soft. "I didn't want to upset you but I just…"
"Don't understand?" He supplies, not sounding even remotely bothered. He smiles at her, with a soft expression. "It makes sense, your confusion, I'm sure you've only been getting bits and pieces."
"I…" She begins, before clamping her mouth shut, considering her words. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell anyone!" She finally blurts out. "You just suffered in silence and didn't tell anyone about it or that you were taking medication for it!" She's not angry, just confused.
"I…" He begins, much like her, before pausing. "I didn't know how you all would take it… I didn't want anyone to look at me differently, is all."
She gets that, she does, but it still hurts. "I just wish you had trusted us, is all."
"I understand." He says, simply.
She pauses, before asking hesitantly. "Can I ask about it?"
"Sure." He says.
"What do you see, when you… you know?"
"Hallucinate?" It sounds harsh, being put so simply.
"Yeah…"
"Honestly, I… don't really see things, mostly just hear things that no one else does," He says, expression growing serious. "I never really thought much of it until it started getting bad."
She remains silent for a moment. "Is that when you started going to therapy?"
"Yeah… Especially after Joe," He laughs, mirthlessly. "It's funny, past few months I swear I've been seeing him."
She looks up at him, surprised. "Uncle Jamie I…" She hesitates. "I've been seeing Uncle Joe too…"
Uncle Jamie looks surprised this time. "…Really?"
She doesn't get to answer, before she nearly jumps out of her skin, seeing her Uncle Joe standing across from them with an odd expression on her face. Uncle Jamie looks up as well, glancing at her to make sure she was seeing him too. When he looks back, she assumes he's figured out she does.
"Joe?" Uncle Jamie seems hesitant. A flash of emotions crosses his face, before settling on an unexpected one: embarrassment. Uncle Joe has an amused grin on his face.
She looks between the two, confused. "What?"
"Well, um," Uncle Jamie clears his throat, clearly turning red. "when I first saw your Uncle Joe I… assumed I was hallucinating so I… told him to fuck off."
She stares at him for a moment, half surprised by his honesty and half surprised that her Uncle Jamie had said fuck. She can't stop the laughter that slips past her lips at his confession.
"It's not that funny." He tries to sound annoyed, but he just sounds even more embarrassed. She looks at her Uncle Joe, and he looks amused with the two of them. Uncle Jamie also looks at him, a sorrowful look on his face. "It's good to see you."
Uncle Joe says nothing, much like he had in the restroom that one day. She stares for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction and figure out why he isn't saying anything. "You can't talk." It's not a question, but he nods anyways.
Uncle Jamie swallows. "That's not fair." She shares the sentiment. A look of longing is on Uncle Joe's face as he studies them from across the room. He wants to talk to them, she can tell.
They both cast their gaze at their hands, not sure what to do now and when they look back up, he's gone again. The mood doesn't sour afterwards, but there's still a hint of sadness left in his wake.
When it happens again, she doesn't actually see him so much as feel his presence. Her Uncle Danny is over, talking to her mother in the kitchen in hushed voices. She can hear Uncle Danny's voice steadily rising. "You know what we saw Erin," His voice is loud enough for her to hear, not that she's all that far away, pressed against the wall adjacent to the kitchen. "That was Joe, we saw Joe."
She isn't able to stop herself, the words just fall out of her mouth, as she steps into view of her mother and uncle. "You saw him too?" Both heads whip over to her and she can tell they're shocked.
"Too…?" Her mother says, softly.
"You've seen him?" Uncle Danny's voice is softer than she's ever heard it. "When?"
She falters. "Well at the hospital and… at Uncle Jamie's apartment the other day."
They both blink. "You and Jamie both saw him?" Her mother doesn't sound like she disbelieves her, just surprised by the turn of events.
"Yeah," A sly smile forms on her face. "In fact, Uncle Jamie told me something interesting."
Uncle Danny's eyebrow cocks. "Oh?"
"He said when he first saw Uncle Joe, he thought he was hallucinating," She remembers Uncle Joe's amused look. "And he told him to eff off."
Her mother looks surprised and Uncle Danny laughs. "Jamie said fu…?" Her mother cuts off, gazing sternly at Nicky. "Did he actually say that in front of you?"
She grins, suddenly feeling Uncle Joe's presence at her side. She assumes her mother and Uncle Danny feel it too, because their postures change. "Yup!"
Her mother gets a look on her face that says Uncle Jamie will be getting a lecture and Uncle Danny has a mournful look on his face. Uncle Joe's presence disappears, and she assumes it's because the mood lightened. She's beginning to think Uncle Joe is trying to cheer them up, and the thought makes her smile broadly.
When she sees him again, she's at Uncle Danny's, curled up with Aunt Linda on the couch. They're watching a movie that's, if she's being honest, absolutely terrible. She remembers the conversation that her mom and Uncle Danny were having, and how Uncle Danny had said Aunt Linda had also seen Uncle Joe. She wants to ask, but she's not sure how to breach the topic. After all you don't really ask people outright if they've also seen the ghost of your dead uncle.
"You want to ask me something." It's not a question. "Go ahead, I won't bite."
She takes a deep breath. "Is it true you also saw Uncle Joe?"
Aunt Linda tenses for a brief moment, before relaxing with a sigh. "I did."
"Me and Uncle Jamie saw him too, you know?" Nicky smiles at the memory. "He got us to laugh…"
Her aunt laughs. "Is that so?" She's smiling. "He always had a way of brightening up the room."
"Seems he still does."
The mood seems to drop a bit, and like clockwork, she sees him. Aunt Linda doesn't seem too surprised at his presence, so Nicky assumes he's been visiting her too. "Hey Uncle Joe." She keeps her voice quiet, worried she might wake her little cousins. He smiles at her.
"Hey Joe." Aunt Linda says, also keeping her voice down.
Nicky surveys her uncle, cocking her head to the side and humming. He raises an eyebrow, looking amused. "I think I've figured out why you keep coming to see us."
He mouths "oh?" and she nods vigorously.
"Every time you show up, we're sad and when you leave, we aren't anymore," She widens her smile. "You don't want us to feel sad, so you come to cheer us up." Next to her, Aunt Linda nods with a gentle smile on her face.
Uncle Joe returns the smile, expression soft and nods. She didn't think it was possible for her smile to broaden any further, but it does. And when Uncle Joe disappears again, there's a feeling of warmth in her chest knowing that even from beyond the grave, Uncle Joe is still looking out for them.
End notes: This is longer than the first chapter and I think it's… a lot better too! Let me know what you guys think! Also I know I posted this chapter like… almost immediately after the first but don't expect frequent updates like this, I'm taking summer classes so I am technically busy!