The sports channel was blaring from tebo as he fell down the cliff. every time he hit a rock the channel would change. It went from nick jr., to CNN, to naked ladies galore, to animal planet; to the history channel showing a bomb explode right before he smashed to the ground blowing out his screen. There he was, lying in the dark cold mud. Broken screen, soiled scuffed shoes.
Later into the evening, Bethany had found tebo after taking care of the cop Emily. She then called a tv repair man and 911. When they somehow managed to get to the bottom of the cliff without crashing and repaired the tv, Bethany tried to pay them with high heels. But, sense Bethany is invisible, all they heard was a voice and saw floating heels so they called a ghost buster out of fear. The cable guy says to the medic, "oh my god! Those heels are home shopping, and I think they like our rump real estate!" the medic screams like a little girl. The ghost buster shows up out of no where riding on the back of the state puff marshmallow man. He then sucks Bethany into his ghost vacuum and stomps away with the ghost buster theme song blaring and fading as he got farther and farther out of view.
The medic gives the cable guy a high five. They then begin rambling about how they were the ones who solved the murder case and were awesome for it. Tebo heard this and was outraged. His one true love is gone, forever. He then stormed over to the two aggressively and cornered them. After several moments of intensified awkward silence his screen popped on and turned to a sequence of strange unusual pornographic channels, consisting of a manly woman kissing a snake in a tub of tomato sauce naked. He made them watch until their eyes shriveled up and they fainted. then as it began to rain again he touched them with his shoe and shocked them to death. He then walked over to Bethany's heels and switched them with his bright white running shoes. Now it was official, tebo was a killer.
As tebo tapped his way back up the cliff in his heels, he began thinking he could not get back at the world alone with no hands. He decided he would have to seek out some help to accomplice his mission to take over the world... But who?
As Tebo continues his long journey upon the cliff, he begins feeling a deep sadness for the mere fact his invisible woman bit the big one. As his sadness grows his screen pops on and a Spanish soap opera begins blaring and echoing through the dense quiet of air heavy by death. As he nears the top, he twists his ankle from not knowing how to walk on heels, thus causing him to fall on his screen.
His insufficiencies causes tebo great frustration. He then starts throwing a tantrum and running towards the road as his heels' tapping echoes in the silence; only to be stopped dead in his tracks. Tebo saw a very disturbing site. On the ground before him laid the dead cop. She laid there with a baby doll rammed up her rear end with only the feet and tiny heel's on them visible. Surrounding Emily, were several business cards. Just as an eye doctor commercial goes on his screen he zooms in to the business cards to see what they say.
As he read there were a series of people enlisted on these cards. But a specific one tickled his fancy. It beheld: "spider Face" club loaning adviser 303-514-1495 0322 club st. wheatland ny
Sense tebo had no hands, he obviously couldn't dial the number on the card. He went for the best next thing; going to the address. As he entered this bizarre building with deafening music and blinding lights, he began scanning the room for anyone who would possibly be this so called spider. As he scanned, something darted across the floor startling him, causing his screen to pop on to a screaming woman on a horror film. He began pondering what it was. He saw the shadow glide by again. Curiosity killed the cat. But in this case, tebo wasn't scared of anything. The evil sensation from his heels were spreading threw his wiring.
The shadow on the floor had scurried over to this mass of very nerdy people who were more than likely forty who lived with their moms. Tebo barged threw the nerds in high hopes of finding this mystery spider. Within the nerd circle, a girl was standing there. She was extremely skinny with eight very hairy legs and arms and had small baby teeth. She seemed to fit her title, "spider face". She wore a hat with the letters "A.S.S" on it. Tebo went over and asked in a very fuzzy robotic voice such as those pre recordings for phone service. " spider face?" spider face replied " what do you want?" the tv replied " I need to know how you were connected to the cop, Emily royal, she tried to kill me." Spider face began a creepy laugh bearing her gross baby teeth and replied " what did she do, unplug you?" the tv began tapping his heel on the floor impatiently. An awkward silence started between the two. " just tell me!" shrieked tebo. " why should i!" chirped the spider.
Tebo wasn't in the mood for games. He lifted up his leg and hopped towards spider face's spider ish face with his heel toward it saying " you'll tell me or I'll crush you like the pest you are!" spiders beady eyes grew large as she said " ok! Ok! She called me up when there were some murders going on or something. She wanted to see if our mutant tea party was behind it because of its queer nature. So, she would meet me up at the club to talk. I don't have very much free time being the loan adviser for a.s.s ya know." The TV's screen when blank with confusion.
"what is a.s.s anyway?" tebo asked. Spider replied " Assorted slurping sluts. It's a business my boss started up." Tebo concurred "oh, why would officer royal come to you people for a strange murder case, besides your ugliness." Spider replied "my boss….. Is one twisted puppy" the tv like this statement. His screen popped on with a dentist commercial showing a lady smile greatly. " hmmmm can I meet this "tea party" possibly?" the spider started tapping her fingers on her head " ummm I spose so, meet me here next Tuesday at 7 pm. I will lead you to our next tea party for the weeks mission." The tv said "great now get away" then his screen popped on showing a raid spray commercial. The spider screamed and scurried into the nerds' cluster once more. Tebo strutted out with his heels to a near by radio shack to rest.
The following Tuesday tebo decided to head on down to the club around 6:45 pm. Spider was there Just like she had assured him. She signaled him to come closer. Tebo walked over with slight hesitation. Whait if it was a trick? She signaled him to be quite and to follow. Tebo's screen popped on with a mime instructional program. It was fairly quiet in the club as for people didn't really start showing up till around 8. Threw the silence, his heels tapping on the floor echoed as a door reading "personnel only" appeared before them.
It seemed to take hours to walk down this putrid stair case. It swirleld, twirled, twisted and turned. As they hit the bottom they seemed to be in the cellar of the club. As tebos screen switched to Sherlock holmes he began scanning the room decideing what he thought. What he saw as he scanned was a giant long table from the mid evil times zone, several people sitting around at the table with very strange name tags at their seats. The tags were names such as miss cotton, the stain, Alaska, gucomoli, the eye, the spider, mystery man, Sydney lady, licky chicky, Hannah Montana, tanna the banna, bi ry the fly, hippo lady, ear lobe, fish, roley poley, and doe boy. The people who sat around the table were not people at all, they fit their names well. Tebo liked this. As he continued scanning, he noticed they all ahd little cups of tea. It was a real tea party. On the walls were cob webs and some sort of goo. There was a picture of officer royal on the wall taped to a dart board. Tebo like this. He went over and sat down at the table. However, sense he was a giant walking television, he was much to heavy for the chair causing it to break.
As a crying baby appeared on his screen, a smell of smoke sausage entered the room. What was it? Then a series of fire truck siren sounds started echoing as it got closer and closer, louder and louder. It was a running man on fire. But as he ran closer from the passage way, it appeared to be a fat manly woman in a bikini, who was inflamed. The inflamed person sat down at the seat tagged "icky Vicky inflamed man kitty". The man on fire looked around and spoke her thoughts. "UGH!" in a very low voice.
All the mutants chattered at the table and sipped tea, the chattering simmered as a sound that sounded like suction cups began echoing from the same passage way. As the chilling silence spread threw out the party, the suction cup sounds began to get louder. The louder they got the more a strange formed shadow became visible on the side of the passage way. The form seemed to be a creature about five feet 3 inches tall. It had a very strange almost peanut shaped head anchored on top of a series of tentacles. A top the head, appeared to be a horn; on the wrong side of her skull.
She became visible now, and she was scarier than tebo had figured. Her skin color was, pale, almost dead looking but the gloomy texture of her skin was extinguished by her bright red pimple/ crab bite appearing beard going a crossed her well rounded chin. Her beady eyes pierced threw any who dared to look into them. She gracefully moved her tentacles towards the biggest, throned royalty appearing chair at the table. As she began to rest her tentacles on the chair, tebo noticed her name tag was extremely long. It was a series of letters. " BKKPUHPHDFMMPTHACS/SOITW"
Spider face was situated at her chair and she complied "horn, are we ready to initiate meeting number 3,679?" The squid creature glanced over to the spider and began a strange almost reptilish slurping sound. Tebo guessed that's how she talked. Spider then said "alright the meeting is now In session. We have a guest today as some of you may have noticed. Everyone meet Tebo, the giant walkling television from wheatland high." All the mutants stared in silence. "tebo let me introduce you to everyone". She scurried over to the first chair to the right which was licky chicky. She was a girl with a long frog like tongue who licked the unexpected. She wiggled her tongue as spider said "this is licky chicky." She went to the next chair and said "meet Alaska" Alaska was a small model of a mountain. Spider then introduces the rest of the mutants at the meeting including : miss cotton,a darker skinned girl with an afro who deeply enjoyed cotton and wore cotton clothing, the stain, who appeared to be nothing but a white t shirt with a stain on it, guacamole, who was a jumbo bowl of chip dip with a blue tortilla chip in it, mystery man, who appeared to be a giant hovering question mark with a detective hat on, Sydney lady, who simply seemed like a slut, Hannah Montana, a close resemblance of the Disney Hannah Montana but with a huge nose, tanna the banana, a banana who peeled in anger, bi ry the fly, who looked like just a common house fly, hippo lady, a almost hippo looking girl who had a fetish for death, ear lobe, who was a giant random ear who was there to keep everyone updated on what she hears, fish, a half man half fish creature, roley poley, a bug that enjoyed role play too much, silly doll, a girl who seemed almost plastic, and doe boy a chubby boy who closely resembled the philsbery doe boy.
Spider then pointed towards the entry way with one of her legs and said " oh yes, and here we have the eye. She is the look out for us." The eye was literally a giant eye wearing a trench coat. Spider then scurried over to the person on fire. "this is Icky Vicky inflamed man kitty, but she prefers to be called man on fire. She is horn's lover" the spider scurried over to the strange squid creature. " here we have backwards kyla katshit pie unihorn period head dog fishy mutated manikin pepto testicle hair ass clown shoe/ STD octopus inflatable tranny woman. But, for short we call her Horn. Horn cannot speak like the rest of us can, but I learned her language so I shall be the translator." Spider then went back to her chair. Horn shifted her beady eyes towards tebo and began slurping. When she stopped tebo said "what?" then spider said " she is asking what you want from us and why are you here." Tebo replied " tell horn that I am here because I know you guys hated that cop Emily royal, and she is the cop who tried to kill me. She is the reason my beloved Bethany is dead, and I thought sense you guys are full of hate too you could help me. Help me take out this world, help me finish what Bethany started." Spider began translating to horn. As she translated, Alaska brought over some tea for tebo.
Spider then replied with her answer to tebo " horn says that she has seen the work of your lover on the news, she has already taken out everyone we wanted to. You stole our work. But my question is, why?" tebo's screen showed an airplane for some reason as he began to speak. " well, it all began on may 14th at 8:30 am. I was brought to the wheatland high school by a man of the name frank culvokesky. He told me I was brought there to keep the school updated with the latest technology and news." The eye interrupts " ya ya ya this is really entertaining, NOT! What's this have to do with anything." The TV stands up aggressively and faces the eye, who in turn appeared to be one of the shortest. Around 3 feet tall. The tv said sneerly "why don't you take some eye drops and calm down!" then turned back to the table and continued with his story.
"as I was saying, he told me I had a grand purpose as he programmed my antenna to pick up the schools signal. But that's not exactly what happened when I started my first walk thru the school." "what happened!" yelled miss cotton. Horn took one of her tentacles and extended it four seats down t to miss cotton and gave her a hardy slap upon her face. She aggressively slurped. Spider then said "horn is saying that she wants to hear the tv, so pipe down." Silence begins. The tv breaks the silent streak by saying " well my purpose was to walk a certain rout everyday around the school and Blair the news. I felt extremely confident about it because I had brand new bright white running shoes to make this job with. However, the job got lonely at times because no one ever talks to a tv. This all changed one early morning.
That early morning as I was resting by the soda machines in the commons, I heard a voice say "I love your shoes" I was confused and said "who's there? Where are you?" the voice said "right here, I'm invisible silly!" I said "oh my I like your see thoroughness." The voice giggled. It was love at first sound. She was invisible, I was a giant walking television. We were both freaks. Sense that day she began showing me how she could cause havoc with her see through talent. She would do stuff and the students would get blamed. If your wondering why she noticed my shoes, she has a shoe fetish, particularly heels. We both eventually decided that it was time to be recognized for something much more powerful than just the mere fact of are freaky appearances. She didn't care how it started, as long as she got to use her heels as the weapon. I suggested we start with who ever touched me first sense I noticed she got really angry and jealous about it anyway. She made her first move on frank because technically, he touched me first. She followed him from the school that day and waited for a time when they were alone which was at wal-mart.
Everything was falling into place. The kids were dropping like flies until some how officer royal got a hint of what was happening. Then last Friday when Bethany was taking an invisible crap I decided to go ahead and head down my rout without her and the next thing I know is I have a net over me I'm strapped to a car and shoved off a cliff. Then when I wake up I see Bethany being sucked away by the ghost busters. I found her heels however and put them on in her memory and eventually ended up here. Now, if I may ask, why do you all hate that cop so much?"
the mutants chatter amgounst themselves. The eye spoke above the chattering. "I'll tell ya why!" her eye was blood shot and a tear slipped away as she began " She tricked every one of us! She acted like she loved us, just until we admitted our crimes, then booked us!" tebo asks " what kind of crimes?" the eye responded " horn, got her restutraunt shut down for cruelty to animals and unsafe cooking, man on fire got charged with harming people with second hand smoke, I got charged with selling jamamincan eye drops, spider got in trouble for stalking people, Alaska got in trouble for stealing canned snow, the guocamoli got in trouble for cutting people with her chip, it goes on and on." Tebo looked alittle puzzled " well, how didn't you guys know she was a cop?"
The soap, one of the newest members who was a giant bar of ivory soap that had red eyes of hatrid, was located at the random sink next to the passage way began saying " she was in disguise pretty much." She jumped off the sink and wandered toward the table walking almost cat like with her thin black legs staring at tebo " she was really a pretty girl. She had long brown hair, hazel eyes that would make you melt, a rockin' body, and wore a tight leather outfit kinda like cat woman at times and had sexy red lip stick on and well," the soap began to giggle " she seduced us all then as we began trusting her to be bad like us we would tell her our illegal activity, she would arrest and charge us. Clever bitch." The eye began yelling " don't talk about her that way I love her!" silly doll then shrieked " I can't believe she's gone, I miss her insults!" man on fire began running around the table upset and all the mutants began crying like little children who didn't get their way. There was so much sudden chaos no one could think. The horn started launching crab like creatures threw her horn aimlessly around the room in rage and miss cotton's cotton hair inflated so large it drew everyone's attention. She began "look, as you can see we are pretty sensitive about it. She was so amazing we should have seen it coming. Why would she be with us? We're freaks." A silence begins once more until tebo thought of a pep talk to get everyone back on track. " this is what I mean." He began almost doing some sort of tap dance as he stood. "Aren't you tired of everyone seeing you as a freak and nothing more? Don't you want people to be under your mercy? Take that hate you have and use it for power." The horn begins grabbing mutants with her tentacles and placing them back in their seats. She walks over and hugs her inflamed lover. Her slime was nonflammable so she did not burn. She then looked up and began slurping rapidly " I believe this tv has a valid point. And plus, imagine the DRAMA we could cause, sounds like heaven." The mutants started giggling As spider continued to translate the slurps " but how on earth will we do this. Our plans always fail. Does anyone have any ideas?"
The mutants began scheming amongst themselves sounding like little gobblins. Bi ry the fly buzzed around in the air and went towards the giant semi-withered banana so she could get her to speak her idea. The banana began "bi ry thinks we should commence plan 80025." The fish began flopping in confusion "whats that again?" the stain responded "its where we try and mess up people's love lives so that the world is unhappy. You know the one where we make up stuff and say it to the person's significant other." The eye replied "no, no, that one failed along with making up dirty things about what people did with us." Man on fire tries saying her thoughts "UGH! UGH!" no one understood. Sydney lady spoke for the first time "how about we spread stds all over the country. That would be fun" she winks and then re positions her bra for her stripping outfit. Eye said sneerly "you do that on your own time, we don't have to." It seemed this tea party was going in a circle of nowhere fast.
Tebo looked down at his tea and his screen popped on showing a light bulb commercial. " I have an idea! " all the mutants look at him with anticipation. Tebo begins saying " well, what if we made some kind of tea, perhaps one that will put them under horn's control." He starts tapping his heel on the cracked cement floor. "you all could create it, I could advertise it so people will want to run and buy it." As spider translated the plan to horn, horn began grinning ear to ear. She began slurping. Spider began translating her slurps. "She says that we shall commence the plan ASAP. Meeting adjourned."
All the mutants began to stir from the table. Spider approaches tebo. "We shall come up with a formula for the tea and present it to you next week at the next tea party. Same time. Same place." She then makes her way towards the stairway. Tebo then decides to head to the local wal-mart to rest in the electronic section. In the mean time, the mutants began thinking of ingredients for this new tea. Horn put Alaska, man on fire, and the eye in charge of making the formula.