Sup guys! It's kbomb234, alive and kicking! Just a heads up on my updating strategy, I'll probably only be able to update weekly. But! I will do hopefully two chapters every update. And another thing, it really irritated me that Ed and Al lost their alchemy -_-#. So in this tale, Ed and Al still maintain their alchemy. And now, on to the story!
Chapter One: Bodyguards? Really, Dad?
"Why the hell does Brigadier General Mustang need us? I mean, we quit the military almost a week ago," Edward Elric complained, as he walked down those familiar halls to the General's office.
"Well, maybe he's having a problem, big brother," Alphonose replied, trying to pacify his pissed off brother.
"Already? That guy couldn't keep himself together if it was the last thing on earth he could do!" Ed shouted and began to rant about how much of an idiot Mustang was. Al sweatdropped and kept on walking. Somethimes his older brother could be such a pain. Running his hand through his hair, he stopped, seeing the office. Ed, still ranting and raving, bumped into Al.
"WHAT THE HELL, AL? DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S IMPOLITE TO STOP WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS BEHIND YOU?" he yelled.
"Ummm, brother? We are here."
"Oh. Well, looks like it's time to get this over with," Ed sighed. He pushed in the door and bumped into Colonel Riza Hawkeye.
"Hey, Riza." the boys chorused.
"Hey boys, you here to see the General?" Riza asked.
"Yeah. He asked us to come. Said he had one last assignment for-" Ed paused, as he looked down at his shoes, and then he gasped in horror. "My God, Riza, you're wearing a mini skirt." Riza sighed dejectedly
"When General Mustang went into office, he petitioned the Furher to make all the women wear miniskirts." All in all, it wasn't too bad. It was navy blue like the uniform top, about mid-thigh length, and it was pleated to make it easier to run. And instead of the ankle length boots that were customary, Riza wore black knee high combat boots. All of a sudden, a new transfer walked by and flipped Riza's skirt. Pissed, Riza spun around, drawing her gun from her thigh and clicking off the safety, she pressed the muzzle to the newbie's head.
"So, you think flipping a girl's skirt is tolerated here, huh? Well, it's not. I could have you court-martialed for sexual harassment, or I could shoot you where you stand for that insult. But I'm going to do do neither, but I warn you the next time it happens, I swear, I will shoot you where you stand. Do you understand Private?" She ground the muzzle menacingly into the back of his skull.
The private gulped in fear. "Y-yes sir."
"Now get the hell out of my sight." Col. Hawkeye didn't need to tell him twice. He ran as if the devil was after him. Turning back to the Elric brothers, she said,"Mustang is in th-" And then she realized they were hiding behid a sofa as if their lives were about to be crushed out like a bug.
"Boys, I'm not going to kill you. It's just something most of the women here have had to do since the uniform changes," Riza turned and began to walk away. "Muatang is in his office. Just knock."
After getting over his momentary panic attack, Ed walked into Mustang's office.
"Brother!' Al protested. "You should have knocked!" Ed delibrately ignored him.
"Ah, Fullmetal. We were just talking about you." Roy said, after getting over his irritation that Ed didn't knock.
"We?" Ed and Al said in unison. They turned to see a slender figure sitting in the sofa across from them. The figure wore a deep blue jacket that was quite similar to Ed's red one, but the symbol on the back was a black cat that had its head turned to the side. (A.N. Imagine the Baby Phat logo in black) The hood was drawn up over the eyes and nose, but a strong, yet feminine jaw was visible. The figure wore midnight blue pants that flared out at the knee. Black boots and bright blue fingerless gloves that had a transmutation circle sewn in black on them completed the outfit.
"Elric brothers, meet Shania Mustang, the Chimera Alchemest. Shania, meet the Elric brothers. Edward Elric, the former Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother, Alphonose Elric," Mustang introduced. The Elric brothers' jaws dropped simultaneously. Ed recovered first and began to rail into the Flame Alchemist.
"FIRST OF ALL, HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER? YOU NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING TO BEGIN WITH! SECONDLY, HOW THE HELL DID THIS GIRL BECOME A STATE ALCHEMIST?" Ed in his ranting failed to notice the girl's stiffening shoulders and tensed jaw. "AND THIRDLY, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE NAME CHIMERA?" That did it. Shania stood up and fiercely looked Ed in the eyes. Her bangs covered one blood red eye and the other one glared malevolently at him. Roy leaned back and watched amusedly. This was going to be a lot more interesting than he had first thought.
"WHAT THE BLOODY FRICK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She shouted back at him. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH A GIRL BECOMING AN STATE ALCHEMIST, YOU SEXIST BASTARD! YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE THE FAMOUS FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST YOURSELF! AND ANYWAYS MUSTANG ADOPTED ME YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLE. MY ALCHEMIST NAME IS CHIMERA IS BECAUSE I AM A CHIMERA, YOU STUPID, ANNOYING, PIPSQUEAK!"
"WHO YOU CALLING A- Wait, you're a chimera?" Ed stopped his rant. Shania rolled her eyes in irritation.
"No, I'm a homoculus. YES, I'm a freaking chimera." She took off the hood and two black cat ears popped up from her jet-black hair.
"Well, this is odd," Al said. He had been edging away while Ed and Shania were fighting. and had just now entered the conversation. "Are you part Ishvalen, Miss Shania?"
"Please, call me Shani." SHe said, flashing a bright smile in Al's direction. "And yes, my mother was Ishvalen, but my father was Amestrian. That is why my hair is black. And no, Dad is not my biological father." She glared at Ed, who had had his mouth open to ask that question. Roy cleared his throat.
"Shani's being a chimera is precisely the reason why I called you here. she was kidnapped three years ago and only managed to escape a month after being turned into a chimera and experimented on. I have decided that she needs to be kept in an out of the way area that is little known. That is when you come in. Your final task is to guard Shania for a while. Make sure no one of the military knows she is there," Roy explained.
"Bodyguards? Really, Dad?" Shani protested. "I'll be fine by myself, honest. The last time i was not proficient enough to kick those assholes' behinds. Now I can easily defeat them without even a second thought."
"Major Mustang, do not disobey. Follow your orders like a true soldier." Mustang barked in true military fashion. Shani's red eyes softened to a ruby color and she saluted, though the tears in her eyes betrayed her pain at being seperated from her father.
"Yes, sir." She said. Ed spoke up, clearly irritated at not being consulted about this.
"Hang on a moment here. What makes you think tha-"
"That we won't be happy to do this. We'll be sure to take care of her. Thanks, General!" Al butted in. He dragged Ed, who was violently thrashing to get away, out of the office. Slinging on her duffel bag, Shania turned to go, then stopped. She ran to Roy's side and hugged him tightly.
"Goodbye Dad, one more time," she said brokenly. Shani wiped her eyes, kissed him on the cheek, then smirked evilly. She walked away, calling behind her, "Be sure to tell Riza about your feelings for her."
"Wait, wha? How the hel-" Roy began, but she was gone. "Like father, like daughter," He muttered good-naturedly.
Shani walked over to the Elric brothers, who were having an intense argument.
"Oy, if you guys are done fighting, we have a train to catch," She called, folding her arms behind her head. Al looked pointedly at Ed, then smiled at Shani.
"Ok." He said. Shani walked with the brothers. Her instincts bubbled inside of her and she could not shake the feeling that something big was about to happen.
'Well, nothing to do now but enjoy the ride.' She thought as she drew up her hood. The three walked away, starting off the next biggest adventure of their lives
And that is chapter two of HTTOTCA! Please be sure to review! I live for reviews and please, PLEASE tell me if any characters are OOC. Thank you, my beloved readers! And remember, READ AND REVIEW! Bye!