Some deny and search for things that never come around

Do I feel like a fool?

Jonathan sighed in frustration.

"Argh. It's not sounding like it…erm..should."

Munky and Fieldy looked up at him, while placing their guitars down. David, rested his drumsticks down and glanced towards the lead singer's direction.

"Man give it a rest, maybe all of this practicing is getting to you." Fieldy said.

He walked over to the desk where he had a bottle of water placed. Jonathan looked at the paper and then at the previous four recordings they did.

Something's not right and I can't figure it out. Is it the lyrics? The music? What? Damn it.

He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder and he lost his train of thought.

"Jon, relax man. Get some fresh air. Maybe when you come back, something will click."

He sighed again and suddenly quickly relaxed when Munky put his other hand on his other shoulder. He blushed when he looked up to see the other man smile at him calmly. Jonathan, started to feel something he hadn't ever really experienced before…He felt…safe.

The places I have ran to all my life have disappeared

And I owe this all to you

He sunk back into the chair and closed his eyes and inhaled the scent and enjoyed the soft touch of the other man.

"Hey you guys!" Fieldy called out ruining the moment for Jonathan.

"I'm going with David to get some grocery. We'll be back." Fieldy and David exited the studio and headed off to the car.

"Alright!" Munky cheerfully called after. Jonathan stood up and stretched.

"Why didn't you go with him?" He asked while yawning.

"Ah well since David is going with him I figured he'd be okay anyway. Besides, someone has to keep an eye on you." he replied grinning.

Jonathan blushed and turned his attention over to the recordings again and pouted slightly.

"I'm not a kid. I don't have to be baby sitted you know…"

"Well…Fine. I stayed to keep you company then." Munky smiled making Jonathan blush again.

Munky noticed and moved closer to the unsuspecting man. "So…How are you?" Jonathan turned into the direction of the voice and was met by Munky's face in line with his own.

I'm feeling like I'm sinking

And nothing's there to catch me, keep me breathing

He stared into the dark brown eyes tat seemed to draw him in more. But suddenly he realized he was staring too much and awkwardly, he looked away and replied softly.

"I'm okay."

Munky narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"Liar!" He cried out.

Jonathan's eyes widened a bit at the comment.

"What are you talking about Munk?"

Munky chuckled lightly.

"Come on man. I know you already. You've been to quiet, lost in thought, frustrated. Something's bugging you. Tell me! You know you can tell me anything."

Jonathan bit his lip slightly and looked at the ground.

"Alright, thanks. But I'm telling you, I'm okay." He smiled.

Smile Jon and it'll be fine.

Munky pouted and protested at Jonathan's smile.

"What?" Jonathan asked confused. Munky placed his hands to both sides of Jonathan's face and turned his face to his own.

"Don't hide behind that fake smile. Jon, man, you don't have to pretend around me. I'm always here for you."

Jonathan nodded lightly and felt his face get flustered and his eyes water up a bit. Suddenly he couldn't hold back any longer, the tears started to stream down his face and his body started to tremble while he tried to hold back his cries.

What do I have to do?

Why can't this hurt be through?

I'm going head-on to something

I know I will fail

"Jon? Jon. What's the matter?" Munky pulled Jonathan close to his body and held him tightly while he coaxed him gently.

Why can't this kiss be true?

Why won't you please let me through?

I don't understand why you always push me away

"Jon."

Jonathan tried to catch his breath and slow his tears. He inhaled sharply and sat up from the other man.

"I don't know."

He looked around at the ground and tried to inch away from Munky but Munky gripped tighter to the other's small frame.

"No you will tell me." The man sighed and wiped his face with his sleeve.

"I don't know. I just…Haven't felt this way…before." Munky searched Jonathan's face and frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?"

I feel the blood drip off my body

As it pours right there

On the Ground

What am I now?

He hesitated for a second before answering.

"Safe? Warm? Like I belong somewhere? I don't know. Anyways, whenever I'm near you. Whenever I'm around you, I don't have to be someone else. I can be…myself. And I feel like…Well I don't know what I feel." Jonathan coldly laughed. "you just understand and can accept me for me. Which no one really has done…"

Munky stared at Jonathan who seemed to be trembling again. He held him tighter and embraced him comfortingly while softly rubbing his back.

What am I now?

"I never thought through out my life that everything's that happened…would happen. I never did imagine being in a band as amazing as this and singing. Singing my heart out, everyone playing their hearts and souls out. The fans connecting with us, the music, the feelings, the noise, everything. This is a dream I never would of thought could be possible but right now, its not a dream it's a reality. I never thought that I could ever have friends. Let alone someone as great as you. Someone who gets me. All my life I was missing those kinds of comforts. It feels nice. I feel loved. And…I…Don't…know. You make happy, Munk. Thanks a lot man. I care about you a lot…"

Munky's eyes softened and he smiled happily at Jonathan. He pulled him close to him and breathed in Jonathan's scent. He enjoyed his smell and loved every second that he spent this close to the other man. Jonathan blushed deeply and closed his eyes.

I love this. Don't stop Munky...

Jonathan rested his head against his chest and emerged himself in the tender moment. Munky, suddenly moved back a bit catching Jonathan off guard.

"Something wrong?" Jonathan asked. Munky's gaze was focused elsewhere as he moved his face closer to Jonathan's. His eyes locked unto Jonathan's mouth.

"Munk?"

Munky moved his hands towards his face and tilted Jonathan's face upward and moved in even closer pressing his lips against Jonathan's. Munky remained cautionate just in case Jonathan rejected but to his surprise he didn't. Instead he tugged at Munky's shirt pulling him closer and deeper into the kiss.

What do I have to do?
Why can't this hurt be through?

Both were tasting each other and enjoying the moment. Munky placed a hand behind Jonathan's head interlacing his fingers with his hair. Jonathan gasped as he felt Munky try to penetrate his mouth with his tongue and suddenly inhaled sharply and let out a small moan as he felt Munky's tongue part his lips and enter. Munky felt himself get flustered and hot as he was pulled each time deeper and deeper in to Jonathan's mouth. Suddenly the two separated quickly. Gasping for air and faces painted with a blush. Munky stood up awkwardly and walked towards the mini fridge to grab something to drink.

Jonathan sat still on the bench, thoughts flooding his mind, still in a bit of shock at what happened. The way he and Munky kissed. Passionately.

I'm going head-on to something
I know I will fail

Something he had never felt for anything or anyone else except for the music and the band. He closed his eyes and could still taste Munky lingering around the corners of his mouth and his smell clouding him. He loved every second of it. He had no regret or remorse for his actions but a bit of guilt. Fearing a little that maybe Munky didn't share the same feelings or couldn't return them…

Why can't this kiss be true?

That's silly Jon. Of course he does. After all, he's the one that decided to kiss you first. He made the first move…

Munky walked over with a can of soda in hand and stared down at Jonathan before rubbing the back of his head abscent mindedly and chuckling.

"So…yeah. How about that song, eh?"Jonathan looked up at the taller man.

"I'm sorry Munk. If you didn't like-" Munky cut him off.

"Nonsense man! It was…amazing."

Jonathan stared up wide eyed. "You mean, you didn't mind at all? You liked it too?" Perhaps there was even more hope then he saw.

Why won't you please let me through?
I don't understand why you always push me away

Munky smiled back at the other one. "Of course. It's been awhile so sorry if I'm a bit rusty on things." He laughed. Jonathan giggled at the comment.

"Nah, you're perfect. I'm the one that needs practice…Or something." Jonathan sighed lightly.

Munky walked over and patted his head. "You're fine too Jon." And kept patting his head. Jonathan's eye brow twitched and he inhaled deeply and pouted.

"Do I look like a puppy to you?!"

"Mmm, maybe. Well, you would if you were to-" Munky stopped midway in his sentence as his lips were silenced by Jonathan's. He felt his arms encircle his waist and pull him in. Munky returned the surprise back and tightly embrace the other one.

Why you always push me away?

"Jon. I'm always here for you know that. You can tell me anything and everything. The little things the big things it doesn't matter I'm here to listen."

Jonathan nodded silently and pressed himself against him closer feeling the warmth soak him up.

Why you always push me away?
Why you always push me away?
Why you always push me away?

"Remember, I'm not here to judge you. So there's no need to keep it to yourself and no need to try to distance yourself." He embraced him tighter then let go when they suddenly heard the main door to the studio open.

"HEY GUYS!" David called out with a bag of grocery and a bottle of tea in hand. Fieldy sighed in frustration and looked at the two who had a look of annoyance on their face.

"Is that tea David?" Jonathan asked walking towards him. "Can I have a sip?"

David grinned widely and belched.

"Sure!"

"Wait Jon that's not-!" Fieldy called out but it was too late.

Jonathan took the bottle from David and began to drink some. He suddenly put down the bottle and had a disguisted look on his face as he painfully swallowed the "tea".

"What the fuck man?!! What the hell is in there?" Jonathan cried out spitting out the drink.

"Tea man it's tea!"

"Liar!" Jonathan replied back. He walked over in haste to the mini fridge but saw nothing in there so he went to the counter where they had placed the grocery bags. "Damnit I need something to kill the taste! Fieldly you have anything?"

Fieldy handed him some peppermint gum and laughed. Munky stood from the bench area and laughed while David rolled around on the floor.

"What the hell is he on? And what the fuck was that shit he was drinking?!" Jonathan demanded again.

Fieldy placed his face in his palm.

"Man its liquor."

Jonathan narrowed his eyes at the guy and then at the man rolling around on the floor and sighed. "Hey, I thought he'd be okay going to the grocery store with you. Damn Fieldy, that's the last time you take anyone with you anywhere." Munky said. Fieldy huffed in disapproval. "Please, he's grown, I told him not to drink anything but did he listen to me? No. So now he's going to be up all night throwing up and with a hangover tomorrow. That is not my fault. It's his to deal with." He bluntly stated. Munky eyed the man and laughed. Jonathan's eyes shifted to Fieldy.

"Man, you're going to deal with him and baby sit him to make sure he doesn't do anything dumb or get into trouble."

"Isn't that what he always does?" Munky asked. Jonathan twitched.

"Well, make sure he doesn't do anything MORE dumb or get into MORE trouble than normal."

Fieldy banged his head a couple times against the wall.

"Fuck. Damn it David your ass owns me."

David screeched happily and rolled around the studio floor with the bottle of tea liquor. The other three men sighed in annoyance.

"There goes practice." Munky said.

Jonathan nodded in agreement and then turned his attention to Fieldy who was pulling a recording camera from a bag.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Fiedly evily grinned as he replied. "Well, damn if I have to sit here and baby sit his ass I might as well enjoy myself. I'm going to record him for our amusement and his too. That way the next time he picks up a bottle and mouths off to me that he doesn't get stupid when he's drunk, I'll show him the video. Evidence he cannot deny! Bahahaha." Fieldy rattled on. Jonathan slowly moved away from the man and found more comfort being near Munky. Munky glared around at the men in the studio and chuckled. Jonathan opened up the grocery bag and pulled out another bottle.

"Hey what are you doing man?" Munky asked.

Jonathan gave him a look of innocence then smiled.

"Well if you can't beat him, then join him." He said prying off the cap and began drinking. Munky and Fieldy sighed.
"there goes another one." Fieldy said bringing the camera to focus on Jonathan who then started to sing and join David on the floor.

"We need better friends." Fiedly sighed.

Munky laughed and grabbed a bottle.

"Not you too?!"

"Hey, just like Jon said." He winked. Fieldy sighed. "FML. I'm designated babysitter. Joy." He sighed happily then grabbed the camera and went back to filming the three.

"Blackmail…" He hummed to himself.