A/N; I know I said oneshot, but Corey YoungBlood requested it from Arthur's POV as well. So here we go :)

Its not that good, I know. But It was just a filler so that I could have enough stories to be a Beta, in the first place :)

He knew it was inappropriate, or course. He knew it would never work. He knew that it would never be allowed. But most importantly, Arthur knew that Merlin would never feel the same.

Or so he thought.

That day when Merlin woke him up, for the second time, that is, and called him 'dearest'

He knew that Merlin was teasing, he knew that Merlin couldn't possibly even have considered the idea...

Arthur seemed to know a lot of things.

What he didn't know was that he was wrong. Completely and totally wrong.

The day that Merlin kissed Arthur, he felt as if every dream he had ever had was happening right in front of him. He was so shocked that he didn't respond at first, and when he did begin to respond, he thought he saw someone walking past.

There wasn't anyone, of course.

But it was done now.

Arthur began to shout at Merlin.

He wasn't sure if he was doing it because he was angry or because he was in disbelief at what he had done. Probably the latter.

When Merlin told him that he had quit his job, Arthur felt as if his heart had had a tight fist close around it and squeeze. He'd heard of a broken heart, but this seemed ten times worse.

As Merlin walked away, Arthur could only stare, unresponsive.

Little did he know that this would be the last memory he would ever have of Merlin.

Arthur hated himself. And he only hated himself more an hour later when Guias came running to Arthur saying that Merlin was gone.

It was his fault.

He sent out searched, to no avail.

Arthur was now in his thirties.

He had married a beautiful woman, taken the throne upon his father's demise, and had 3 children. 2 boys and 1 girl.

Yet he was not happy.

Every year, Arthur sent out men to search for Merlin. He knew it was pointless, yet he could not stop.

Every year, the report was the same. No sightings. But he still could not stop himself from hoping. Every time he felt that hand grip his heart a little tighter. He told himself he deserved it.

He expected the same thing every time, so when the head knight came to him with a strange look on his face, Arthur knew what to expect.

'Your highness, sir. Merlin... Merlin was found, sir.'

Arthur nearly choked.

'Really? Is he here?'

'No, Arthur, I'm sorry, but... he says...'

'What does he say? TELL ME.'

'He says that he does not know an Arthur.'

Arthur dismissed the knight.

Merlin has moved on, he thought. He should be happy. Why couldn't Arthur bring himself to be happy?

Arthur knew the reason.

He loved him.

He always had and always, always would.