If Chapter 2

Strength was a tool, to protect the people who I cared and loved. It was power to not lose them again; I would never ever forgive those who tried to hurt them. That was the courage I was bent on obtaining, one that allows friendship of fears and guilt.

I was no longer a scruffy little boy who had black haired and dark piercing eyes.

I was an alchemist who had power, an unlimited key that opens many doors.

Two years had gone away, and my parents' death was buried seven inches deep within my mind.

Nightmares had stopped; just as what I expected. However, fear and guilt was growing, the fear of losing my new family was haunting me now.

Power, I need strength to fight against those who bring evil and darkness to my world.

Is this what I truly need?

Kcarl rushed ahead, towards the source of her screams while I tried to keep up alongside him. Every bone in my body was shaking furiously, with fear and apprehensiveness. We came to a forest clearing soon enough, and what we saw forced us to skid to a hurried stop.

It was a group of teenage boys patrolling the clearing, some of them sat while other stood around, we stepped out from the hedges and trees which covered our tracks. They seemed to have been waiting for our arrival as they peered in our direction without any sign of surprise or twitch. Kcarl was a few steps ahead of me; he glared at the boys while I scanned the area for her.

She was sitting or crouching, I had no idea. I could not see her face, but I could tell she had been crying. Thankfully, she did not seem to be hurt, though visibility shaken.

Kcarl shouted across the clearing, he sounded furious and forceful as he insisted on knowing what was going on and why she was being targeted. In that one minute I did not expect to hear a reply, however a sharp voice spoke out.

"Do you think you are strong enough to defeat all of us, Ignis…?"

His voice ran through the veins of my body like ice, a sharp head throbbing memory hit the back of my head as quickly as the sentence had finished. I had said that once, before; it was around three weeks ago… Finally I realized where I had seen that boy.

They were the bullies around the area, and I was there to witness their brutality. Picking on someone smaller sized then they were, I would not ever stood against this type of injustice if I had not have alchemy on my side. Being courageous, I saved that little boy who lived in the alley. At the same time, I tried to frighten off the pair of bullies with words which rose like a snake rising to strike deep within me.

"I am strong enough to defeat the two of you! You have three seconds to leave!" The pair of bullies ran away just like how scared puppies do, with their tails between their legs. I was victorious, that was courage then, and now; that was stupidity.

Reality hit strongly into my own consciousness, this happened because I had tried to protect the little kid and I had provoked the enemy.

I felt my legs drawing away, there was no way we could fight them now. We were outnumbered by a dozen, and they had a hostage. No words ever left my mouth, Kcarl on the other hand had already moved in front of me; behaving like a shield extending his arms out.

"Hey, there is no need to behave this way…" he said drawn out and slow, he peered back and at that moment I caught his eyes. He nodded slightly, I understood his signal; and this was not a time to space out either. I waited battled breathe for his move.

Kcarl was drawing something on to the soft sand below, and it was a simple alchemic circle. At that point, I knew that we were fighting our way out; in order to save ourselves. Isn't that what power was for? Not to back down from a fight but pull through all odds and come in victorious?

"Now!" I heard Kcarl shout out and as planned I dodged out from behind him, without giving second thought; I dashed with all the might I could pull out towards to the short stumpy boy which was watching over the captive. Everything happened quickly, the ground cracked as it shot towards the leader of the group. Blue blots of crackling electricity could be heard; I turned back for a second just in time to see mounts of earth and dirt racing towards the ground of boys.

It was a feat which I could not pull; Kcarl was much skilled in practical alchemy compared to my mere talents. Loud thuds could be heard as mounts slammed into nearby trees, causing their roots to be pulled from the ground.

We ran frantically towards where Kcarl was; I refused to let my grip on her arms go before reaching to safety.

I ran passed Kcarl who was still busy, sending attacks across the clearing. Most of the boys had scattered and ran into the forest to hide while some unfortunate ones were trapped by fallen trees and branches. It was their plight which caused me to halt, Kcarl was unrelenting but if he pushed more trees over; the weight might harm those boys seriously.

"Kcarl! Enough already! We should go now!" I hissed, only when I met his eyes when I realized something was terribly wrong…

"Stop!" I insisted, with all the strength available I pushed Kcarl aside, stopping the transmutation. "You will kill them!" I added in, truthful opinions and horrified thoughts.

He was on the ground, while I stood next to him; stunned for a second what I had done.

A loud crack pulled me away from thoughts and words to immediate horror, a large and seemingly old pine tree stood crocked to a side; tilted fast in an angle which bolds no good.

There was four boys and one girl trapped, courage found me at that right moment.

My own bolts of blue light raced towards to the trapped, and a small earth dome rose from the ground; it was a shelter. It formed quickly over them, just in time before the tree had collapsed.

I heard her terrified scream echo throughout the forest…that was the last sound I would hear of that fateful evening.

I saved the people who were trying to hurt us, was it strength which saved me? Power as a tool, in order not to lose anyone else again; I believed in that. But I stopped, I did not go all out to hurt the people who wanted to harm us; and because of that move I might have let them go free to bully others. Why couldn't I do it? Why did I save them? What is that feeling I felt at the last moment…?

The kids of the Hawkeye house returned safety home, thanks to a group of hikers of the same forest that day. They rescued the kids who were trapped by trees and called 'help' to bring both Kcarl and me to the nearby hospital. We suffered scratches and bruises and twisted ankles, nothing big that boys like us could not handle. We might have escaped with our lives, but even that could not bring back the fact that we caused Riza, to suffer…

It was shock which sealed her memories about that day, she could not remember what that had happened; and we did not want to tell her about it. Such things would be better being kept as secrets; Master Hawkeye on the other hand showed little concern to our injuries or to her memory lost. It did not stop him from retreating even deeper to the depths of his labs in the basement.

The bullies were caught and they had confessed to their mischief and bullying ways; they were in reformative school. Most of them were, but not all. Some came looking for revenge, though we always seem to manage their threats pretty well. Kcarl and I settled business outside of town, usually in the nearby ravine or streams.

For those few months, I was caught up in my beliefs. My confused thoughts might have disappeared, and was being replaced by the constant hunger for power. I needed more power in order to beat down fear and guilt; it was my way of securing my soul to my body. I could not think of any other reason why I needed strength…even though I wished there was…

And it was in that particular ravine where I had my first conversation with Riza, that made me think once again.

The incident had not passed, and it would not ever leave me; it was a reminder of my reckless behavior – provoking the enemy. I was filled with strength and yet, that moment in the clearing I felt like running away and get 'help' instead of fighting… Why…?

"It is also courage, to be able to leave from a fight."

"…"

"Strength does not mean power."

"Power will give me strength to fight for the people I wish to protect…"

"And yet, you hesitated… Strength is not to be used to fight but it is to protect."

"I need to fight to protect."

"No, you don't… If protection meant not using violence, it is a much greater strength and is the strongest power one can ever get."

"I don't understand…"

"Fights are not to be fought blindly but with strategy… someone used to tell me that… but I have already forgotten who it was…"

Stomach grumbles a little and I blushed considerably; she gave a small grin before pulling herself up from the rocky ground.

"Let's go home, before it turns too dark, okay?"

I would never forget that talk we had, her words to protect instead of fighting to win; opening my eyes to fight instead of hurting other blindly. Even though she had no idea what I was referring to that day as her memories had been sealed within darkness; she had given a path of light for me to follow.

Maybe my beliefs weren't everything I thought it would be, strength and power were probably two different things I was searching for.