Well, here is the explanation of how I came up with this fanfic. Please read and enjoy...and don't forget to comment!

Any1there4me

Disclaimer: Sigh...I don't own it!

How 'War of the Straws and Sandwiches' Came To Be

So, long ago one night, a girl named Jenn—or The Jenn—was born…Haha, but no. Definitely not going to go there; but it was definitely a very unusual way to catch you off guard.

Okay, the point of this atrociously long Author's Note is to tell how this fanfic came to be. Let's see…it includes: how the idea even got imprinted in my mind; how the names—"straws" and "sandwiches"—were created; and some truths between my life and the fanfic (people have been quite curious about whether or not this has happened to me…will be explained). Now, to enlighten all of you, faithful readers!

How the idea even got imprinted in my mind:

If you've read my profile you already know that I do guard (and am the captain…but I think I forgot to mention that). Well, I had this very interesting conversation with my coach one time, and she is probably one of the funniest people I have met or associated with and can make a joke out of almost anything. In this particular conversation we happened to get on the topic of that-time-of-month—I think she asked if I had any straws, but that may not be accurate. On and on our conversation went until her daughter and another guard member joined the chat, then it got really hilarious. We started telling embarrassing stories in which we either were humiliated beyond belief or nearly died laughing. Now, this was her story:

I came home one day after grocery shopping and was about done putting all the food away when I noticed my husband was asleep. I walked over to him and woke him up because I wanted to know where my stepson Bobby was. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: she loves him very much…not at all like an evil stepmother.) "Where's Bobby?" I asked. He just sort of stared for a second as if he had no idea what I was talking about, then it clicked and he replied, "He's in his room." Leaving the rest of the groceries where they were I went to his room to check on him since his father had been sleeping. I got there and opened the door and met a sight I never expected to see in my entire life. He was sitting on the floor playing with his little army figurines using my tampons as canons. On and on he slammed his small hand against the tampons, shooting them at the "bad" figurines in his little make-believe war. Immediately I started taking them away saying, "No honey, those aren't toys," while trying not to bust out laughing.

Hmm…I'm guessing that got you laughing a little (yeah, I know…not so much…but it's a cute story).

How the names—"straws" and "sandwiches"—were created:

The story of how these got named is a tad embarrassing and happened only about two weeks ago. My friend Almighty Finksy was there…you may know her here as Rosalie-hater-emmett-lover and she is pretty new, but her fanfic is awesome. I promise!

It had been like any other day—boring beyond belief, with Algebra III at its most grueling time, and students practically begging to be fed lunch—and my class was working on some awful theory of "imaginary" numbers. Now, if you were to ask me what those are, my response would be, "Something I'm never going to use, ever." (I tried explaining it to my parents and all they came up with is, "There is such a thing as 'imaginary' numbers?") Every single last one of us were tired and wanted a nice thirty minute break from the dreadful math, so when the bell rang we literally ran from the room.

My friends—Hocus Pocus, Almighty Finksy, Alice-Cullen-look-alike, and Polyester—and I set out to lunch like we always do. We would walk slowly, talking of unimportant things, laughing and making a bunch of noise all along the way. Well, we finally get to where we eat lunch in the hallway about five to ten minutes after the lunch bell rang and start quenching our ravenous hungers. Hocus Pocus and Alice-Cullen-look-alike would go to buy lunch from the horrid lunch line—hopefully coming back with fries though! - I sit there and socialize a bit with Almighty Finksy, Polyester, and Breezy (she's in a class in a different hallway and meets up with us at lunch). Breezy yet again succeeded in making me laugh hysterically with an original joke of hers (she has a lot). Well, Almighty Finksy decides to go through her purse in search of her lunch so she can heat it up. As she did that I also did the same—except I did my blindly.

I punched my hand deep into my bottomless-pit of a purse in search of my sandwich, drink, et cetera, and felt something promising. Thinking that what was in my hand was my sandwich—it felt like my sandwich, was the same shape as my sandwich, so thus it must be my sandwich—I pulled it out. Now, I didn't look down at my hands immediately after I pulled whatever it was out of my purse because I was still chatting with Almighty Finksy, Breezy, and Polyester. When I went to go open the bag my sandwich was in I saw that what I had was most definitely not my sandwich—it was a pad! And I'd been holding it in my lap for more than five minutes! So, quickly shoving my so-called "sandwich" into my purse as fast as my hand could possibly move, I said rather loudly out of nervousness, "Well, that's not my sandwich!"

Hocus Pocus and Alice-Cullen-look-alike had at that point come back from the lunch line—with fries! -—and gave me questioning looks. However, Breezy, Polyester, and Almighty Finksy were cracking up because they had figured out what I had meant. Almighty Finksy, the first to recuperate from the laughing fit, said, "Oh-Em-See, Jenn! I am so calling pads 'sandwiches' from now on!" And after a few more giggles she went to warm up her food.

The next five minutes or so was spent with the rest of them teasing me about it. Then, Party-pooper-Taylor came and sat down next to our spot in the hall like usual. Now, I like to joke around a lot and suddenly a chance was given to me. "Hey, Taylor," I called trying to get his attention. "Want a sandwich?"

Not knowing what I meant he asked, "What kind is it? I only like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." Well, Breezy, Polyester, Hocus Pocus, Alice-Cullen-look-alike, and I busted out laughing at that comment.

My response to him was, "IT COULD POSSIBLY BE THAT KIND!" That just made the rest of us laugh even harder. Taylor, however, was so confused and asked, "These aren't sandwiches I'd want to eat, are they?" Once again, we laughed even harder and he started to ignore us.

Next thing I knew, Almighty Finksy is back and bouncing up and down. "Jenn, I have this AWESOME idea!!" she literally screamed.

"What is it?" I was worried for her sanity…but I worry about my own too, so it wasn't much use worrying about hers too.

"Tampons can be called 'straws'!" And, yet again, the whole gang busted out laughing and the name actually stuck.

For instance, this past week, it was Hocus Pocus's time-of-month and she went to the bathroom during a quiz we had in second block. Well, all of us in our little clique in the back left corner knew what she went to the bathroom to do, so basically I told them I was going to ask her, 'So how were those sandwiches, Hocus Pocus?' They totally didn't believe I would do it. When Hocus Pocus got back, I whispered loud enough so she could hear, "Psst, Hocus Pocus!"

"What?" she asked.

"How were those sandwiches?" She just stared for a moment or two, remembered what I meant, then busted out laughing in the middle of the quiet classroom. Yeah, I don't think my friends will doubt me the next time I say I'm going to do something.

And that's how the names were created. Pretty wicked, and a bunch of laughing…Yeah, my stomach still hurts a little.

Some truths between my life and the fanfic:

Okay, I've been sent a few messages asking certain questions like, "Has this ever happened to you?" and I'm going to try and answer as many question right now.

Q: Have I ever witnessed someone getting into my stash and using them as weapons?

--Nope. That I imagined. I basically thought of what I'd most likely feel and how Bella would most likely react to it. That's about it.

Q: Have I ever been in a war with tampons as weapons?

--Yes. I started the war and was the one who not only ended up with tampons stuck up both nostrils but with pads stuck literally all over my body. I was also a 'prisoner of war'…that's how I ended up with all that stuff on me.

Q: Have I ever been in a war with pads?

--Nope. I made that all up. However, I did test it! - It was really fun, especially when I used my models and threw them at m brother. Oh, and the pad mask really does make your face feel weird, but that may because the adhesive isn't meant to go on skin…Hmm…

Q: Have I ever shot a tampon?

--Yes. Otherwise how would I get in a mock war with them?

Q: Are some guys really this oblivious?

--Sadly, yes. Not all of them really care that much until they see a pad or tampon. Then they are like, 'What is that?'

Q: Is it hard to shoot a tampon?

--No, not really. It's pretty self-explanatory after you—Ahem—have used one.

Q: Do tampons hurt when they are shoved up your nose?

--Depends on the size of your nose I guess. Mine didn't hurt until I tried to breathe through my nose…but that had to do with the tampons blocking all my oxygen supply.

So, I hope you enjoyed reading how this fanfic was thought up. Pretty hilarious stuff right there! Please Review! It's greatly appreciated!

Any1there4me