Chapter Two: Edmund's Bathroom Talk

AN: Dear god this SUCKS! My computer crashed when I was 90 done with this chapter, and I lost it all! Man I hate technology sometimes. pats laptop lovingly Not you my precious, nope, I love you plenty, it's just the crashing... You gotta stop that! Mommy's busy writing and there you go and make her loose all her work!

So I'm sorry this is late, but I had to try and retype it from memory. sighs.

Also if you have not read I Believe, then I think this story in general won't make a lick of sense. So go do that first if you haven't already - you won't regret it. But I am told you'll need a drool bucket and something to wipe the steam from your screens. That's the word on the street.

"Su?" Edmund checked in a last time on his older sister. "Can I get you anything?"

Shaking her head, "No I'm fine Ed, I just need to be alone."

Frowning as he watched Susan brush her teeth, her skin pasty and covered in a fine sheen of sweat, he came into the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. "Su, you're always alone. I'm here you know? We're all here, but..."

"Look I don't want to talk about it Ed, I'm sorry," as she spit the foamy toothpaste from her mouth, the squeak of the faucet as she turned the water on to rinse it down the drain.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Edmund leaned against the door watching her. Studying how slow and careful her movements were. He knew that something was off, way off, and couldn't quite place his finger on what. Susan wasn't simply pining, he was sure of it. Rubbing his chin with a forefinger Edmund waited in silence trying to wait Susan out, to see if he could force her to tell him what else was wrong.

"You know you'll have to talk about it at some point," once he realized that no response was forthcoming.

Susan's hands smoothed her hair down, while she studiously didn't look at him, then with a sigh, "All I ever see is his face. And every time I see a dark-haired man, I expect him to turn around and have it be... Caspian."

Edmund perked up careful to listen to not just the words, but the inflection, and the things left unsaid.

"It must happen alot then," offering his sympathy.

Two fingers went to her mouth, touching them lightly as she spoke, "It does. And... I still feel his hands Ed, I can still hear his voice."

Nodding he understood more than she was aware, for the faraway look in her tired blue eyes, as though she were seeing some far off vista, visiting a tender painful memory. Sometimes it was like that for him when he thought of Narnia in general, but he knew his heart wasn't there the same way as Susan's was. Times like this he found himself fearing for her, like the only thing that kept Susan going was sheer willpower and the knowledge that Caspian wouldn't want her to give up on life. Sitting on the edge of the tub, he wrapped an arm around her narrow shoulders, making her lean into him. With a wrenching sob, Susan's hands tangled in his shirt as she started to sob, great heaving things that left her panting for each breath. It was all Edmund could do to not join in her tears, because her pain was his pain, and all he could do was try his best to comfort her.

"C'mon Luce, hurry up," Edmund was tired, he'd had a rough night trying to make Susan feel better.

"I'm coming!" as she ran up to catch hold of his hand, her hair in pigtails. "So where are we going today?!"

A small smile graced his face as he looked at his little sister, "I thought we may go to the museum today, they have some paintings up you might like."

"Really? Oh that's wonderful Ed," her sunny exuberance refreshing and a balm on his weary soul. "Ed," she sounded hesitant then apparently came to a decision and forged ahead, "when we finally get to go back to Narnia, we have to talk to Aslan."

Glancing at her in surprise, for the gravity of her tone indicated a more than casual talk with Him, "What makes you say that?"

She didn't speak, but just continued walking with him, swinging their joined hands back and forth. From the corner of his eye, Edmund watched her staring at her shiny little black shoes deep in thought. It wasn't that he thought Lucy wasn't a deep thinker, just that her bearing was far more serious than the usual. Hoping that nothing was wrong with her, because he didn't think he could help at all at this point if there was, Edmund just squeezed her small hand and waited her out. With a little bit of time Lucy would come to whatever conclusion she needed to and would tell him. Minutes passed as he bypassed the occasional pothole or fellow pedestrian, and he held in a sigh of resignation. If even Lucy who was normally sweetness and light could be brought low by their last trip to Narnia, then he was at a loss for what to do. He was only one man... well.. man-boy.. and there was only so much he could do to help his beloved siblings.

"I - I think Aslan made a mistake," and she sounded truly frightened. Her belief must have been soundly rocked to the foundation if she was able to say that.

Swallowing down his dread, "Aslan doesn't make mistakes."

Lucy pulled him to a stop, looking up at him, head tilted back so far her hat almost flew off, "Everyone does."

"True," patting the top of her hat down so it would stay more firmly, "but it's not His nature I don't think, Luce."

Her mouth worked as her eyebrows went up and down in thought then with a nod, "He did with us. We shouldn't have come back here Edmund. We don't belong."

"I know Luce, I know," urging her to come along with him once again, as they headed for the art museum.

And he couldn't help the fear that sat heavy in his stomach, because even Lucy now felt that Aslan was wrong, and if that was the case... What hope did they have of fixing it?

The water was dragging him down, choking him. Frantically he searched through the waves, bobbing about madly trying to find sign of Lucy, for she couldn't really swim at all. Not that he was such a fine swimmer himself, but he managed. Just as he was starting to loose hope, a figure was cutting through the waves, heading straight for the flailing form of his baby sister. A feeling of relief washed over him - along with a particularly vicious swell - once he saw that Lucy was in good hands, and focused on staying afloat himself. What seemed like only tortuously long seconds passed, but must have been minutes, and their saviour bobbed up next to him.

"Do not fight, I am here to help!" the voice was familiar, with it's heavy accent, though at the moment Edmund couldn't focus on more than that, as a strong arm wrapped around his middle.

Going limp so as to not hinder the man as he was dragged towards a beautiful ship. A rope was lowered down to him, and taking hold of it gratefully, Edmund hung on for dear life as he was pulled up to the deck. Collapsing on the wood, coughing and sputtering he looked around for Lucy.

Choking out, "Lucy?"

"The Queen is safe," a hand patted his back firmly, an attempt to help him clear his lungs of the sour saltwater as a blanket was thrown over him in hopes of stilling his shaking.

Nodding even as his eyes teared from the stinging, Edmund managed to gather himself enough to look around. Caspian was drenched, panting tiredly as he shucked his sopping wet shirt. Getting a good look at him, Edmund was shocked. The young king looked ragged, as though he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in ages, his face thinner than he remembered. Frowning while Caspian flopped next to him, staring up at the sky, his dusky skin peeling in places from sunburn, Edmund tried to figure out how long it had been for Narnia.

"You look like shit," his usual tact was absent, but Edmund felt no need to pussyfoot around with his friend.

Nostrils flared in irritation and his hardened eyes glittered, "Good to see you too King Edmund."

Before Edmund could ask why in the name of all that was holy why the swordsman looked so terrible, Lucy interrupted by tackling Caspian with a happy squeal.

"Caspian!" hugging him as though her life depended on it, "Oh it is ever so good to see you!"

Laughing, "Haha, and it is good to see you as well my little Queen." With what Edmund suspected was the first genuine smile Caspian's face had born in ages, "My, have you grown my little Valiant One?"

Lucy sat back shaking her head, her cheeks rosy and pinched up her smile was so wide, "Nooo! It's only been three months! You don't grow fast in three months!"

Rolling his eys, "Don't you remember how you had to get new uniforms last year because you got taller over the summer? That was only two months Luce."

"Thhpt!"

"Three months you say? Three months... maybe... maybe she still..." Caspian's gaze went distant, his arms flexing hard around Lucy in a bear hug.

Tugging his blanket around him, "How long has it been for Narnia?"

His dark head whipped around, wet locks lashing as Caspian's wild eyes narrowed on him, "Three years."

And Edmund had his answer as to why his friend looked like hell, as his own heart broke for Caspian knowing that he'd been suffering for far longer than Susan. All alone.

AN: Well I had intended to make this longer but I felt it was a good place to leave it. That and the whole having the 'puter crash put a damper on it sorta. Comments? Questions? Ideas? Ben Barnes? Feel free to give me any of these things, just go clickyclickyclicky on the wittle button down dere. points . Encouragement helps me get through the whole stalling of my brain. Think of it like when you put petrol in your car - this is petrol for my brain. And thanks again to all who've reviewed, I'm eternally grateful and would hand out tons of Ben Barnes and Caspian's if I could just figure out how to make my cloning machine work...