I don't own Naruto…. Probably just as well….
Show and Tell
Iruka's New Idea
Gathering a large number of the shinobi together, Iruka had divided the village into groups. This was the first group.
"Okay! Roll-call!"
"Asumo."
"Yo!"
"Anko."
"YA!"
Iruka winced. Everybody winced.
"Chouji."
"chompchompchompherechompchompchomp."
"Obviously here," Iruka sighed at the sound of the continual crackling of chip bags.
"Ebisu."
"Here."
"Gai."
"HERE!" Gai posed, causing EVERYBODY to cringe. His flashing teeth blinded even Tsunade.
"Somebody, take away his toothpaste," she grumbled.
She had no desire to be there, but part of the whole kage business was setting a good example.
"Genma."
"Tch."
"Hinata."
"h-h-h-here…."
"Eh?" asked Iruka, not seeing Hinata since she was sitting behind Asumo. "Did I hear something?"
"She's here, Iruka," Kurenai said, seeing that Hinata was fainting from embarrassment.
"Ooookay….Ibiki."
Ibiki grunted. Iruka looked at his scary face and didn't press the issue. Whenever that guy entered a room, a black cloud came with him…. Iruka was still nervous around him after his Chuunin Exam…
'Ino.'
"Pre-sent, I-ruka-sen-sei!" Ino smiled and waved at her teacher.
Iruka grinned back.
"Izumo."
"Here."
"Jiraiya."
"Yo! Children! Open your peepers! The Toad-Sannin is HERE!"
"Shut up, Jiraiya, you're slowing us down," Tsunade growled, whacking the Sannin as he clog-danced on the desk. "If you don't stop it this minute, I'll charge you for the damage done to the desks."
Jiraiya stopped immediately.
"His entrance was even better than mine," fumed Gai.
"Kakashi."
Silence.
"Kakashi?"
Silence.
"He's always late!" Sakura said.
"I thought I saw him…" murmured Jiraiya.
"I told you to drag him in here on time," gritted Tsunade, glaring at Jiraiya.
Hinata squeaked.
Everybody turned to look back – for sure, Kakashi was there… on time – but obviously out to lunch since his nose was buried deeply in his perennial romance.
Iruka's eye twitched and in two bounds, landed on the large desk before Kakashi, causing the Jounin to look up slowly.
"Ehhhh? What do we have here? Reading while I'm talking!" Iruka was going a warm red. "Hand it over."
"What?" asked Kakashi, wondering who was pulling a prank on him. This could not be the Iruka he knew.
"You heard me. Hand. It. Over."
Kakashi instinctively gripped his book tighter.
"Are you Iruka-sensei?"
"Of course I'm IRUKA-SENSEI AND I'M TELLING YOU TO GIVE ME THE BOOK!"
"Do what he says, Kakashi," Tsunade glared at the silver-haired Jounin. "He'll give it back to you at the end of class."
Iruka nodded.
What did they do to Iruka-sensei in the west? Wondered Kakashi as he slipped the book oh so reluctantly into the chuunin's hand. Did they brainwash him?
"By the way, Iruka," the Jounin's grey eye turned hard and deadly. His hand pressed Iruka's wrist hard onto the desk. "Anything happen to that, and you're D.E.A.D. Got it?"
Iruka sweatdropped as extreme death threatening feelings swamped him.
He nodded and backed away.
Back at the relatively safety of his desk, Iruka dropped the book distastefully into his drawer and locked it.
"It's not like I'd want anybody else to get a taste for those anyway. Now… back to the roll call…. Kiba."
"Here."
"Yip! Yip!"
"He can have his dog and I can't have my book?" Grumbled Kakashi.
Hinata sighed.
"He-he-he never goes anywhere…. Without…. Akamaru…."
"I never go anywhere without my romances."
Hinata didn't reply. The fact that the famous Copy Ninja spoke to her, stunned her enough.
"Kotetsu."
"Hey."
"Kurenai."
"Here… hehehe…"
"Eh?"
"Nothing, nothing."
She glared at Asumo who was playing footsie with her.
"If you guys don't stop that, you two will be separated." Iruka wagged his finger.
Kurenai and Asumo looked stricken.
Asumo: What the heck! He's like the teacher from HELL!
Kurenai: And I thought MY teacher was bad! No wonder the Rookie Nine are so intelligent and messed up!
"Lee."
"YOSH! BRING IT ON!"
Iruka winced. Everybody else winced, except for Gai who gave his student a thumbs up.
"Naruto."
"I'M HERE! EVERYBODY GET A LOOK AT THE FUTURE HOKAGE!"
Everybody banged their heads on the desks.
"Neji."
"Humph."
"Raido."
"Heeerreeeee….zzzzz….."
Genma whacked him on the head.
"Sakura."
"Present, Iruka-sensei!"
"Sasuke."
"Here."
"Shikamaru."
Chouji nudged him.
"zzzzzzzz…….. eh? What? Oh…. Uh… here… I guess… man! This is too troublesome!"
Iruka looked put out.
"Shino."
"Present."
"Shizune."
"Here, babes." She winked at him and he blushed red as he checked her name off.
"Tenten."
"About time, here."
"Tsunade."
"I agree with you… move it along…."
"Right, well, at the conference they spent a whole day on presentation skills and how in the West, classrooms for young kids always spend some time doing 'Show and Tell' and I realized that Konoha could really use this – for young and old trainees and for the shinobi as well – since it would enhance our skills in presentation."
"Presentation?" asked Naruto. "What's that?"
Everybody rolled their eyes.
But they were also glad somebody was stupid enough to ask.
"Well, it brought to mind that horrible presentation Asumo did awhile back on Sound-nin movement. It was so badly done, too much time was spent asking questions to get things straight…."
Everybody turned and glared at Asumo.
It was the smoker's fault.
Asumo shrugged.
"Sooo…. Asumo. Put out that cigarette, there's not supposed to be any smoking within school grounds. Except in designated smoking areas. Anyway, what was I saying?"
"Asumo's bad presentation," prompted Sakura, helpfully.
"That's right. So. I thought, I'd give you all a chance to do show and tell, allowing me to be able to ascertain how well-developed your presentation skills are."
"This is soooo dumb," grumbled Naruto. "Does he honestly think we're going to beat Sound with this boring crap?"
"It'll send them to sleep," Kiba drawled.
Sasuke silently agreed.
What a waste of time, he thought. I should be practicing the chidori and expanding my chakra – not wasting it with this dumb show-and-tell shit.
Iruka gave everybody a death glare.
Everybody's murmuring silenced.
"I'm going to be handing out two sheets per person, which you will complete here. It will only take an hour or so…. It basically will help you get an idea of what to do and will help you decide what steps you should take for the perfect presentation. I've put on it all the things I will be looking for – and what each thing is worth…. I've given you two – one for me and one for yourself, to aid you in your progress….Ummm… Sakura, Ino, can you help me hand them out?"
The girls cheerfully handed out the white sheets and accompanying pens.
Kakashi with a jaundiced eye stared at the white sheets.
SHOW AND TELL
Name:
Topic:
WHAT I NEED:
WHAT I NEED TO DO:
Presentation:
Topic Choice:………………………………../20
Artistry:…………………………………….../10
Clearness:……………………………………/10
Well-researched:……………………………./10
Speaker's Knowledge:………………………/10
Interesting:…………………………………../10
Display:……………………………………../10
Conciseness:……………………………….../10
Originality:…………………………………./10
TOTAL /100
"You can begin now…." Iruka said. He stepped back, seated himself in his chair and started to mark some papers.
Kakashi noticed he 'x'ed more things than checked.
Geez! This man is a monster! It's a good thing he never hooked up with Orochimaru….
Everybody finally picked up their pens and started to write. Some looked excited. Some looked blasé. Some looked resigned. And a few had wicked grins on their faces.
Kakashi smirked. So the man took away his book. Well. He was damned if he was going to lift a finger.
Kakashi spent the rest of the session doodling and drawing pictures of Yukie Fujikaze as the heroine of Makeout Paradise on the back of his papers.
Hinata made the mistake of glancing to her left. She blushed as she watched a scantily clad female being sketched out on the white prep sheet. Suddenly, she focused on her sheet and sighed.
What WAS she going to do? And could she even go up front and do something like that? Sure, she said she was going to change and never give up – but did that mean she would have the courage to do such a big thing as a presentation?
"RAIDO! I caught that! Give it to me!"
Hinata jumped, startled and gave a squeak.
Kakashi gazed around slowly, landing his eyes on the Hyuuga heir.
What a bundle of nerves she is! And I thought Sakura's whiny weakness was bad!
How does Kurenai cope? Well… she does have Asumo….
He turned his eye on the melodrama a few rows down and a section to the right.
Iruka was waving a note triumphantly.
Shit. Iruka. Don't. Read. It. There's something's in life you are NOT prepared for, mini monster though you be….
Kakashi's mental exhortations didn't reach Iruka.
Iruka decided to read the note out loud. A successful technique which created fear and respect among most students.
Raido already looked frightened.
Genma raised his eyebrows..
How the – did he DO that?
"Genma and Raido are losing their skills if they got caught by HIM," Shizune murmured.
Tsunade sighed.
"Drat. This IS a bother…."
"Yo, Genma. What do you think? After this dumb class, how about a nice long evening together at your place? That way, the nightmare named Iruka…. Will be long forgotten…. You know you want to be….."
Iruka stuttered to a stop and turned red with anger and embarrassment.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WRITING SUCH PERVERTED THINGS IN FRONT OF THE KIDS?"
Genma glared. "I didn't write anything and stop being so abusive."
Raido cringed.
"Detention for the both of you! An hour after class."
Genma jumped up, eyes cold.
"Don't f--- with me, bastard!"
Raido, Ebisu and Ibiki managed to wrestle Genma back into place.
"Iruka…." Tsunade said sweetly. "Let's just leave it for now…"
"But, Hokage-sama!"
"Iruka."
"Ummm… okay… I'll leave it for now…"
Genma relaxed.
As he watched Iruka sit down, Kakashi realized he couldn't just blow the small guy off. Much as he hated the whole presentation thing, he realized in his heart of hearts that it WAS a crucial ability – helpful in warfare and necessary for those time when you wanted to get your point across clearly to stupid Chuunins.
But still….
Iruka took his novel. HIS novel. His NOVEL!
Kakashi didn't think he would ever get over it.
Out of boredom he filled one of the sheets out. As a joke of course.
Everything settled into a relative peace and when the time expired, everyone had to go to the front, to hand in one of their sheets.
Realizing with awful certainty that his time, in many senses, was up, Kakashi sighed and plopped his sheet down, hoping nobody saw what was on the back.
The heroine (Yukie-san) and himself lying together under a tree.
He wondered vaguely whether he'd get himself 'expelled' for it.
Oh well….
Time would tell.
Later on that evening, with a sigh (somewhere between happy and tired), Iruka opened his case on his couch and pulled out the thick sheaf of papers. He was excited to see what kind of ideas people had.
Some made him laugh. Some made him nod proudly. Some made him wide-eyed. Some made him frown.
Only one made him come.
Kakashi's page was one of the ones that made him sigh. It was obvious the Jounin was getting back at him for taking his book away and had scribbled nonsense on the page about the literary qualities of the Icha Icha series.
Turning the page over with a shake of the head, Iruka gasped at the sight of a charmingly nude woman and male posing under a tree. The guy had a scar over his left eye with a Sharingan.
Reeling back with a massive nosebleed at the very shocking image, Iruka howled, "KAKASHIIIII!"