Sins of the mother: Chapter 2:

Zenya watched out of their family's window, pushing the furs strung over the wooden banners above the square shaped hole carved into the stone wall aside, seeing Lin and Kya holding each of their mother's hands, leading her through the garden, Ruaz walking next to her and smiling and talking. Tanku was jumping along the grass at their heels. Lapbu was drinking from the pond outside, his body obscured by the tall yellow grass and his large, long antlers were the only indicator that he was there. Zenya nodded in affirmation and turned back to where the remaining matriarchs of the house were seated at the kitchen table. Toph was ripping into a porkchicken roll, chomping at it, her face more or less neutral, and Katara was carefully slicing up peaches and porkchicken slabs.

Zenya exhaled, trying to calm herself down. She walked over to her two mothers and sat down at the end of the table so that she would be facing both the waterbender and the earthbender equally, though she knew her mama couldn't actually see.

"Mama? Mommy?" Zenya started, the insides of her stomach feeling cold, "I'd like to ask something."

Toph's head lifted and while she was still chewing mumbled, "Whu-? Zenya?"

Katara just smiled at the firebending child. "Yes, Zenya," she started, "What is it?"

Zenya's cheeks started to flush and she allowed herself to stumble out, "Um…..it's about mother. Please don't get angry but, Ruaz, Kya, Lin and I were all wondering what made mother like this? Please…..we just want to help."

Toph stopped her chewing and froze. Katara stared.

Before she had to hear their scolding, Zenya cut in, "I know you've both told me not to ask many times and I'm sorry for asking now, but I'm old enough to know. I know you said that mother having bad memories was because of the bad things that happened to her in the past. I have the right to know. I'm her daughter by blood." Zenya glared at Toph, though she knew the earthbender couldn't see her, "And yours by blood too, mama."

Toph put her food down and Katara halted her cutting her food up. The waterbender looked stricken and started, "Zenya, you know that all three your mama, your mother and I were all in the war, right?"

Zenya nodded. "Yes, I know," She offered, "And so were uncle Zuzu and uncle Aang and uncle Sokka, right?"

"That's right." Katara said gently, blue eyes avoiding her child and narrowing in thought, "The Fire Nation started a war. Your uncle Aang was trapped in that iceberg that your uncle Sokka and I found him and Appa in."

"Appa?" Zenya repeated, cocking her eyebrows curiously. Who was Appa?

"Twinkle-Toes's sky bison," Toph answered offhandedly, "You wouldn't remember him. He died of old age when you were two."

"Oh." The young firebender responded, realizing she had been a little foolish. Okay, she had always known about the sky bison, but had never learned the creature's name till now. Uncle Aang didn't like talking about his sky bison. It was clearly too personal.

Katara continued, seeing that Zenya was ready to hear more, "As I'm sure you know, the Fire Nation, for a terribly long time was dominated with a ruthless and unforgiving hand and discipline was taught without mercy."

Zenya tried not to gulp at all. She had heard the stories of what the Fire Nation had been like before uncle Aang had been brought out of the iceberg from his hundred year sleep. Everyone in the world had been afraid of the Fire Nation and feared reprisals from it, should they ever dare to rebel.

Katara continued, knowing she had Zenya's attention, "Things were very different then than they are now. Back then, residents of the Fire Nation were still expected to treat their children and bring them up without any mercy. Fire Lord Sozin was the start of this belief. You know who he was, right?"

Zenya tried not to feel the swell of anger. She knew who Sozin was alright. True, he was her great-great grandfather, but so what? He was also the man that ordered the genocide of a whole race of people.

"Easy, Zen," Toph chuckled, "Your blood pressure just increased. I'm guessing that's a 'yeah, I know about Sozin.' It feels like you're about ready to pop."

"Toph," Katara chastised, "In any case. Yes, Sozin is your great-great grandfather as I'm sure you know. And that's actually important. Sozin, we believe, was abusive to his son, Azulon. Azulon carried on the abuse to the next generation…to his son Ozai."

Zenya lifted her head, now very interested. She knew who Ozai was. No one liked to talk about him. He was a subject that rarely came up, but his reign before 'The Avatar and his group stopped the Fire Lord' was a story that everyone in the world knew. And everyone in the world knew that Zuko and Azula were by blood his children. She knew that this was where things got important.

"Zuko was exiled from his home by Ozai," Katara added, face grim. Zenya nodded. She had heard that story too. She didn't know why it happened but she knew somewhere along the line, her grandfather (all three of her mothers refused to acknowledge that she, Ruaz, Kya and Lin were in any way related to the former Fire Lord) had sent her uncle away with her great uncle Iroh to find the Avatar.

Katara carried on, placing her silverware down on the table, face serious as she sat in concentration, "That is only an example of what the Fire Nation taught its civilians about raising children. Ozai believed that Zuko was "speaking out of turn" and so he scarred your uncle permanently and exiled him for years. That was considered normal for that family, at least when it came to your uncle."

Zenya tried not to feel sick at the thought. She had always known that Fire Lord Ozai had been responsible for her uncle Zuzu's scar and the very thought of either her uncle or her beloved mother growing up living with that monster for years was almost unimaginable.

Katara spoke softly, hoping to get the young woman to understand, "Abuse was a regular thing for the Fire Nation palace. One generation abused the next and so on. Your mother and uncle were next in line. Now, here's where things get complicated. Before Zuko's exile, when he and Azula were small and Azulon was still alive and still Fire Lord and your great uncle Iroh was off at war fighting against Ba Sing se, Ozai plotted."

Zenya prepared for what was to happen next. It was strange enough to hear that great uncle Iroh was once a general and once tried to conquer the city that she and her family currently lived in. Her mommy continued, "Ozai got Ursa to kill Fire Lord Azulon to protect your uncle Zuzu."

This time, Zenya tried not to growl. Ursa. She hated that name. True, she had never met the woman but the very name made Zenya want to incinerate something. She didn't know what exactly Ozai had done to her mother, but she did know that her mother abhorred Zenya and her sisters' grandmother. Something or other about Ursa calling Azula a monster. The very thought made Zenya wish she could track that woman down and murder her herself. And Zenya was usually not a very violent girl.

"Easy, Sugar queen," Toph cut in, facing Zenya, "Zen's heart rate just went up," Toph pressed her foot harder against the stone floor, "And it feels like her blood's boiling. I don't think you should have said you know…..the 'U' name."

Katara lowered her eyes to her food, picking at it absentmindedly, "Well she needs to know. She asked. She should know that Ursa was part of the reason Azula's the way she is. When Ozai was plotting to take the throne, Azulon tried to have Zuko killed. Azula told Ursa, and Ursa thought she was only trying to play a prank on her "precious Zuko," so she called your mother a monster."

Zenya's teeth clenched, and her hand tightened around the fork, hard. Anger flooded her senses and she felt herself starting to exude heat. The fork in her hand began to bend as its small metal form was permeated with molten heat from the one holding it.

"Zenya," Katara said, voice firm as she picked up her waterskin from where it lay to her side and holding it near the table, "Calm down. You're firebending right now. I know you're angry, but you can't do anything right now. Getting upset won't help your mother."

"Hey well," Toph remarked, smirking, though Zenya could tell from her mama's tone that the earthbender wasn't feeling as cocky as usual, "At least she's doing one of us proud and following in my footsteps in metalbending." The earthbender gave Zenya a joking smile and Zenya felt her anger begin to fade. She stopped firebending and let the fork go, ignoring the loud 'clang' the now misshapen piece of metal made when it hit the table.

Zenya controlled her fire, making sure it went back into herself and leveled her gaze with Katara. "Well?" She said, "I'm ready. You can keep talking. I'm interested."

Katara appeared apprehensive but spoke carefully, "Ursa left, after putting Ozai in power; that left Zuko and Azula alone with him. He abused your mother and uncle for years. He verbally abused Zuko and physically hurt Azula constantly, claiming it was part of her "training." It wasn't, it was just to keep her in line. He brutalized her almost every single day. In her eyes, she was never good enough for Ozai, but Ozai was just keeping her under his control."

Almost as soon as Katara was done saying this, she glanced up and saw that Zenya was starting to generate heat again and her nails were digging into the cloth covering the table. Thankfully, Toph acted and placed a hand gently on Zenya's shoulder. Zenya glanced at Toph but thankfully lowered her shoulders and her heat lessened, though it was still evidently there.

Katara started again cautiously, "Your mother felt like she needed to be perfect. She believed that she had to do everything that Ozai wanted and excel beyond it," Katara took a glance at the door, making sure she didn't hear Azula approach, "Azula built herself up in hopes that she'd gain Ozai's love. Ursa hadn't helped. Because Ursa favored Zuko over Azula, and never treated Azula the way she treated Zuko, there was a void in your mother that she wanted to fill. Azula needed love and she never got it from either of her parents. Zuko didn't help because he was too absorbed with his own problems to protect his sister from Ozai. So this left your mother feeling like she was completely and utterly unloved."

Zenya tried to ignore the sting of tears. She couldn't even fathom what that was like. She and her sisters grew up in a household where all four of them were shown love and affection equally. She couldn't even imagine what kind of life her mother had to have experienced. But then, perhaps that was why their mother was so attentive. She didn't want to make the same mistakes that her own mother and father made. She didn't want to treat her children the same way they treated her.

And Zuko…

Zenya shivered at the thought of her uncle Zuzu not protecting her mother. The uncle Zuzu Zenya knew now was incredibly protective of his baby sister and did everything in his power to help her get better. She knew that one parent favoring one child over the other was a terrible thing to do and that uncle Zuzu had just been a child himself, but still, she couldn't even imagine not ever trying to protect her little sisters, ever.

"You understand, right?" Katara offered, voice somber, "Many of the mental problems your mother has now stems from being overstressed and constant insecurities about not being what her parents wanted her to be, and because Zuko had his own problems, he left her alone too." She smiled sadly, "That's why she's such a good mother. She doesn't want to be like Ozai or Ursa. So while all of Azula's emotional problems were stirring up, Zuko, exiled found out about Aang coming out of the iceberg and went to get him."

Zenya stiffened again. "To kill him, right?" She ventured, knowing the answer already. Everyone knew that story.

Katara hesitated. "Well…." She managed out but her voice was strained.

"No," Toph spoke up, voice blunt as always, "Fire Lord Hothead didn't go to the South Pole to kill Twinkle-toes, he went there to give her uncle Aang a welcome back party! Of course she knows that Lord Hothead was there to kill Aang, Sugar queen."

"Toph." Katara snapped, glaring at her friend.

"What?" The earthbender asked indignantly, "Don't insult Zenya's intelligence. She knows."

Yeah, that was another thing about uncle Zuzu that Zenya couldn't quite believe; him trying to kill her uncle Aang, and the thought of him hunting her mommy and mama and uncle Sokka for a year. Still, it was a war. It was realistic to understand that those on different sides would probably try to kill each other. She knew that her mother and uncle Zuzu had been on the side opposing the rest of her and her sisters' family, she had found that out when she had turned eight and first found out about the war and who exactly fought in it.

"It's okay." Zenya quickly answered, hoping they could carry on with the story and glanced at Katara for more.

"You know what happened from there, right?" Katara asked, now looking at Zenya curiously.

The firebender walked through the bits and pieces she had heard, "Uncle Zuko captured Aang, Aang escaped and then all three of you left the South Pole together to teach Aang the other elements so he could defeat Fire Lord Ozai."

"That's right." Katara confirmed, smiling, "we were on the run for some time but it was actually great; being out in the world, traveling, being with the Avatar and my brother. At least, as long as I forgot that Zuko was on our trail. After a long journey, Aang mastered waterbending and then we needed to find an earthbending master for him."

Toph sat back in her seat, smirking in satisfaction. "Who better to teach Twinkle-toes except for the greatest earthbender in the world?" She boasted. Zenya smiled, feeling a swell of pride rise up at her mama's prowess in battle and earthbending.

"Anyway," Katara said, smirking at Toph with a lifted eyebrow; a sign of her chagrin-though masked, "After all four of us were together, Aang had a waterbending teacher and an earthbending teacher. We just needed a firebending teacher and Zuko didn't join us until later. But, before Toph started accompanying us, your mother and her two friends Mai and Ty Lee were sent after us."

Zenya held her breath; ready for whatever it was that was coming. She knew part of this too. She knew her mother and aunt Mai and aunt Ty Lee were sent after uncle Aang and the others; that was also a very well-known story.

Seeing that her daughter was paying close attention, Katara spoke carefully as she thought about the past events, "Your mother was quite frightening to us. We had never run into another firebender like her before. She had blue fire and used lightning. Zuko certainly couldn't do that."

Zenya couldn't help but smirk. She loved her uncle Zuzu, but really, when it came down to it, her mother was the best firebender the world had ever seen.

"Get that smirk off your face, young lady." Katara said, voice low but amused, indicating that she wasn't really serious, "It wasn't funny at the time. Your mother was terrifying. You know the story they tell here in Ba Sing Se, don't you?"

Zenya shivered and nodded. She knew how loyal the people of Ba Sing Se were to her family and especially to her mother-not to mention how devoted the Dai Li, the secret police of Ba Sing Se were to her mother, but still, even though Zenya always knew her mother was a strong, proud warrior and general, the very idea that the firebending princess had dominated the city they now lived in completely and shot uncle Aang through the back with lightning while he had been in his Avatar state never failed to send chills down her young spine.

Actually, the thought that her mother had quite clearly been ready to kill all of the people that were basically her, Ruaz, Kya and Lin's family in general was a fairly terrifying thought.

Katara watched Zenya's reaction and grimaced.

Toph lifted her head. "Judging by how fast your heartbeat just went," The earthbender stated, "Obviously you do."

Zenya looked down at the table, studying the splinters of wood, "Mother used that big drill to get through Ba Sing Se's walls. And she temporarily killed uncle Aang. Then she took control of the city and the Dai Li."

"Yeah," Toph injected, "And as it turned out it was really good for Ba Sing Se. Your mother's the reason why almost everyone in Ba Sing Se are fed and housed and paid equally. None of this 'Lower Ring,' 'Middle Ring,' or 'Upper Ring' bullhorse shi-"

"Toph!" Katara hissed, and Zenya chuckled, not even having to lift her head to know that her mommy was glaring at Toph.

"Well," Katara sighed, still glaring at Toph, "What your mama says is right. Because of Azula, the cast system in Ba Sing Se was practically abolished. The people of the Lower Ring and the Middle Ring were a great deal more than they had previously when compared with the Upper Ring. They were fed better and their lives were easier now than it had been before your mother came to power. And I know you've heard the stories of Long Feng."

Zenya froze. She didn't move. Oh yes. She had heard of Long Feng alright. The stories were terrible. They were almost ghost stories nowadays in the small towns of Ba Sing Se. A cautionary tale for children to listen to their parents.

The people in town would tell their children, "Don't run off and don't stay out past dark, or else the ghost of Long Feng will take you underground, brainwash you and make you his slave." Even after eight years of first hearing that tale, she would still feel the cold fingers of fear dig into her. She also knew her mother had killed Long Feng. That story all by itself was grim. She heard how her mother had sliced his body…..vertically in half with one swipe of a line of blue fire. Supposedly that had been when Zenya had only been two.

The whole thing was scary to think about. Katara started speaking again, "Yes, Ba Sing Se is in your mother's debt, but at the time it just meant that the Fire Nation had an advantage in the war since it had control of one of the previously free Earth Kingdom cities. Now, this is where your mother's issues need to be paid attention to," The waterbender looked tense as she continued and as Zenya looked at her two bender parents, she dreaded what she was about to hear, "Azula became victorious and was praised by Ozai…but as established the reason why Azula was always so efficient and did everything that Ozai told her was because she wanted his approval. She wanted his love."

Zenya narrowed her eyes. She knew the previous Fire Lord had been a terrible man, but had he truly not loved his own children? Seeing her daughter's confusion, Katara chortled quietly, "Ozai…..be happy you've never met him. He never loved either Zuko or Azula. They were just tools to him. Ozai pushed Azula to be…..well, to be "perfect." She wasn't allowed to make mistakes or not be the best. She had to do exactly what he wanted or else he would have done to her what he did to Zuko." Katara inhaled and began again, "And I'm sorry to say that your grandmother was no better when Azula was a child. This all escalated in Azula's mind. Finally, when your uncle Aang fully recovered and woke up, Zuko eventually joined us and taught him firebending. But because Zuko left, Azula's…problems got more severe."

Zenya tensed. She knew the stories, she knew what was coming. It didn't make it any better. In fact, this anticipation just made it worse.

"When your uncle Zuko and uncle Sokka went to Boiling Rock to rescue your grandfather Hakoda," her mommy began, "your mother, and aunt Mai and aunt Ty Lee went there. When your uncles and grandfather made their escape with the Fire Nation guards coming after them, Mai stopped them, betraying your mother for love. And when your mother finally showed signs of her mental breakdown, willing to kill her own friend for betraying her, Ty Lee stopped her. Azula thought that they both betrayed her so she had them locked up."

Katara inhaled and Zenya lowered her head. It was hard to picture. Her mother was fierce, dangerous, militant, and yes, incredibly mentally troubled, but she was also loyal and protective of those she cared about, and Zenya knew that her mother cared about Mai and Ty Lee. It was strange, and admittedly a little horrifying to think that her mother would ever lock her two dear old friends up in the Boiling Rock.

"For Azula," Katara added, "This I think was hard for her. Not hard for her to lock them up, but it was hard to deal with her brother leaving and for her friends to try to protect what she saw at the time as a "traitor." It felt like one rejection after another. Your mother was unraveling. And that's when we went through with our big plan after Ozai declared himself Phoenix King. Sokka, your mama and your aunt Suki took down the battalion of blimps, your uncle Aang took on Ozai…..and your uncle Zuzu and I fought your mother in an Agni Kai."

Zenya's hands wrapped around the edge of the table, knuckles becoming white. She knew the story…..she knew….oh Agni, this was going to be painful to hear.

Katara smiled sadly at Zenya's mortified expression. "Yes, Zen," She said, voice almost choking, "I know you know what happened. It's terrible to think about it now. I love your mother very much, more than I can ever describe. It was horrible to watch even before we got into a relationship, so I really can't stomach thinking about it now. I'm only glad that Fire Lord Zuko let me take care of her. That's how she was allowed out of the asylum."

"And after you two and mama got into a relationship, you decided to live here in Ba Sing Se, where at least mother was praised by the people for the equality they had now." Zenya finished, figuring out the rest. "That's right." Katara nodded.

Zenya swallowed hard. It was a legend that was renown, but now that she knew the details, knew what made Azula's psychology work, or…fail, however one looked at it, it was so malignant….so chaotic and malevolent that it made her stomach clench in pain and sickness just imagining it all happening.

She opened her hands from around the table and said, voice nearly sounding desperate, "But she's a lot better than she used to be, right? I mean, I haven't seen her get like that in years. I mean, she hasn't had an episode that bad in two or three years, right?"

Katara and Toph didn't say anything. Finally, after an incredibly awkward pregnant pause, the earthbender spoke, "Well, yeah, sure, but…..you've seen her…she still talks to the air, she can't be near mirrors. Crap, she can't even be near water since it reflects stuff."

Zenya lifted an eyebrow at Toph. "How would you know, mama?" She teased the earthbender. Toph scowled. "Watch it, kid," She remarked dryly, "I can't see a reflection but I know people can see themselves in the water. Sugar queen once told me when we were taking steps to make sure your mother didn't lose it."

Zenya knew there was a joke in there that she could use about "watching it," but she held her tongue. Right now she needed to help her mother, not antagonize her mama. She put the conversation back on track, "I know. I've seen how she tenses up too. Like she's hearing someone talk that she really doesn't want to hear, even when I can't hear anything." Zenya almost shuddered at the thought. She hated thinking of all the voices in her mother's head. What hell it must be to have the life that her mother had.

Zenya grit her teeth and felt tears prickling her eyes again. Before she could stop herself, she sniffled, hot liquid streaming down her face.

As the firebender brought her right hand to her face, trying to hide her crying, she heard two chairs scraping along the floor and two people walk over to her. A pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders, a chin against Zenya's scalp.

"Shh, Zenya," Katara whispered lovingly to her child, "Shh. Your mother has had a very difficult life, but there isn't a moment when she regrets having you and your sisters. She wouldn't trade it for anything."

Zenya whimpered into Katara's shoulder, "But she went through so much pain…I, she…"

"Shut it, Zen," Toph put in, voice harsh, but her hand was gentle when it landed on the back of the firebender's head, "You, Ruaz, Kya and Lin? You four mean everything to your mother. Yeah, her life sucked but if the outcome is that she has the four of you, I'm pretty sure she sees it as worth it all. So don't let her ever hear you say that she deserves better."

Zenya dried her tears, but managed out, "But I wish I could have done something."

"You already have." Katara said soothingly to Zenya, kissing the girl's forehead, "Do you know how happy your mother was when she first held you in her arms after giving birth to you? She looked like the happiest woman in the world. It was like you completely lit up her life the moment she saw and held you."

Zenya smiled at that visual. She knew how much her mother loved and adored her children. Her mama spoke up, "Sugar queen, Zen, easy, I hear Zula, Ru, Kya and Lin's vibrations. They're coming back. Zen, don't let your mother know what we've been talking about. Don't upset her." The young firebender chuckled at the protective edge in her mama's voice. Toph was so caring and attentive when it came to Azula. Woe to whomever or whatever tried to harm her wife ever. Zenya wasn't fool enough to believe that the earthbender would allow anyone, even one of Azula's own children to harm the Fire Nation princess.

Toph added a second later, "We'll explain things later. Don't let her hear a thing though." She went quiet when there were footsteps heard on the wood of the porch outside.

The wooden door to their home slid open and Kya and Lin's giggling announced the other half of their family's entrance into the structure. Azula was led into the house, Kya and Lin bringing her in with Ruaz at their mother's heels, Tanku hissing and jumping next to them as the servalfox came in with them.

Okay, I hope you liked that chapter. I felt it was a bit rushed and muddled, but what do you think? (No flames, please)