Chapter 1: Hermione

May 21, 1998

The Burrow, once a lively welcoming home filled with laughter and warmth, felt cold and empty. Sure, the Weasleys were present, but they weren't really there with one of their own missing. Everything in the house had come to a halting stop while the family took their time to grieve. It was quiet, too quiet. Gone were the laughs and good natured pranks. The playful and sometimes heated fights between siblings had ceased. Even the aroma was different; no longer did the house carry the scent of a welcoming meal prepared with love by the formidable matriarch. The Burrow, along with the family in it, was irrevocably damaged.

Hermione left the kitchen, where everybody had congregated, to give the grief-stricken family some much needed time alone together. As she walked up the stairs to his room, she thought of Ron. She was tremendously proud that he had found it in himself to be a source of strength for his grieving family, the Ron she had previously known was frequently too wrapped up in his own goings on to be in any position to help others. Ron had grown up immensely in the aftermath of the war, he was everything Hermione had always dreamed him to be; strong, courageous, sensitive, and loyal. Unfortunately, she couldn't muster anything more than a brotherly affection for him. She tried, she really, really tried, but being with him didn't give her any of the feelings she's always imagined it would and her schoolgirl crush would no longer be enough for a relationship between the two friends. She felt nothing for him, at least not anything even remotely romantic. After their heat of the moment kiss, the two had unwisely jumped head first into a relationship. It had quickly fizzled after the excitement of first being together. Despite their many differences they were great at consoling each other, so that's what their relationship had turned into; mutual comfort devoid of any real heat or spark. Had it not been for the turmoil surrounding them, she would have realized her mistake and broken up with him long ago, but he needed a friend right now. Hermione couldn't bear to break his heart while he was mourning his brother; the Weasley family was in enough pain. She would just have to stick it out for a little while longer, and hopefully when everything settled down he would understand why they couldn't be together.

Hermione glumly considered the changed atmosphere as she took a seat atop Ron's bed. This is it, she thought; the world they had fought for, the world that many had died to bring about. Who could have known that the new world ushered in with the fall of Lord Voldemort would be one filled with sorrow, emptiness, and death? They had won, their world was safe. So why was there still so much pain? It was truly ironic, she thought, that she had attended more funerals in the last three weeks than she had in her entire life, most of which was spent during the reign of the most powerful dark wizard the world had ever known. She personally ached for every person who was unfortunate enough to lose a loved one in the war, and in her weaker moments she deeply regretted every step that led the fight to the sacred grounds of Hogwarts and around so many young children. Somewhere in the back of Hermione's mind she knew that all of those who stayed and fought at the battle would have willingly given up their lives for the cause they believed in. She also knew that their sacrifices weren't for naught and one day their world would once more be safe and calm. One day they may again feel pure, unburdened, relaxation. One day they could be happy. Today, however, was definitely not that day. Today the Weasley family had buried Fred.

One might think that every funeral attended would be easier to sit through than the last, and in some ways it was true; nothing is quite as traumatic as one's first funeral. Hermione thought absently of her Grandmother Anne, the two were very close and losing her shortly before the fourth year had left a significant hole in Hermione's life, one she knew would never be filled. Her grandmother's funeral had been a devastating event but she had at least been able to take some solace in the comfortable routine of preparing for another year at Hogwarts and her life had quickly returned to normal. Now, it seemed as though she wore nothing but black. There was no routine; their world was broken. Their world now was a never-ending cycle of mourning, and this was her new normal. With so many funerals occurring within quick succession of one another, the effect was simply overwhelming. The grief and sadness from each poured directly into the next. This last funeral had been practically unbearable. Hermione had thought that the worst would be the combined Tonks-Lupin service. She'd always shared a special bond with her beloved former professor, and she loved Tonks and her fellow muggleborn father. Seeing the look of complete and utter despair on Andromeda's face while she held the orphaned Teddy that day had been excruciating, a harrowing sight she didn't think she would ever be able to forget. She was wrong though, Fred's funeral affected Hermione in a way she'd never be able to fully describe, and it was easily one of the worst days of her life. Seeing the anguish clear on George and Molly's faces, like the memory of Andromeda's grief, would never leave her. Seeing them mourn Fred had been as uncomfortable to watch as it had been heartbreaking. George, so full of life, was now overcome with grief and a shell of the man he used to be without his other half. Their poor mother had it just as bad; nobody loved like Molly did, and losing one of her babies was almost more than she could handle. Molly, the best mother Hermione had ever known, simply didn't deserve this.

Hermione once more gave into the tears she had been holding at bay, not wanting to burden the Weasleys with her tears when they had plenty of their own. Their family, which had been in many ways her surrogate family, would never be the same without Fred's presence. Hermione couldn't even comprehend what it would feel like to lose a twin or a son. The closest she came to that feeling was when Hagrid had brought Harry's body from the forest, and though it was brief it was the single darkest moment in her life. She didn't know what she would have done if that nightmare was a permanent reality. Now, for many people the nightmares were reality and that knowledge ate away at her. So much had changed; her world was a far cry from the exciting and magical world she'd been so eager to join as a precocious eleven year-old.

As she finally stifled the sobs of what felt like her hundredth outburst today, she noticed a figure entering the room and taking the seat beside her before wrapping his arms around her in a soothing gesture. "Sorry," she said as she wiped the tears from her face and saw that he was alone, "where's Harry?"

"With Ginny," Ron responded solemnly, "she's having a really rough time of it, so they went for a walk."

Hermione immediately felt horrible for indulging her herself when one of her best friends was so broken up. "Poor Ginny. How is the rest of the family holding up?

"Oh, you know, about as expected," he shrugged. At her gesture to continue, he explained further, "Mum's still a wreck. George is so far gone, it doesn't seem like he even sees or hears any of us and when he does he just hugs and cries. Percy is almost just as bad, I think he blames himself for what happened. Dad, Bill, and Charlie are trying their best to keep everybody else's spirits up, but I know it weighs on them too. Dad's really worried about mum though, everyone's said to give her some space and be there for her if she needs us, but it's hard for him to step back. He's got this idea that if there's some sort of normalness around us it'll help, so he's basically transformed himself into mum. Fleur and him are running about cooking and cleaning everything. He even made the family breakfast this morning. It would be scary if it weren't so sad."

"That's very sweet of him, I'm sure she appreciates it. How are you?" she pressed further, hoping he wasn't putting on a brave face for the benefit of others.

"Um… okay, I think. I mean, obviously it's hard to accept that he's really gone, but someone has to be the strong one, right?" he laughed mirthlessly.

"Are you sure you're really okay though? It's understandable if you're still upset." Regardless of their romantic entanglement, they would always be best friends and she wanted him to feel comfortable enough to talk to her about how he really felt.

"I am upset," he clarified, "but I also know that Fred wouldn't want people moping about after him, so I figure I'll pay my tribute to him by keeping the mood somewhat light and being there for everyone. But it's kind of weird, I'd always thought I'd be a mess if anything happened to my family, but I think I'm handling this surprisingly well for having the emotional range of a teaspoon." Hermione laughed lightly at his reminder of what she thought was one of her better insults.

"See, there you go! Finally some laughter, it really does help, doesn't it?" Ron asked, seemingly relieved at the brief moment of levity.

"It does, actually." She agreed with a faint smile.

"We'll all get through this." His voice took on a surprisingly serious quality that she didn't know he was capable of. "Our family is strong enough, we'll pull through. The only one I'm really worried about is George."

They sat together silently for a while, lost in their own thoughts. Ron's shift in demeanor did not go unnoticed by Hermione. She looked at him, he seemed uncharacteristically somber and more than a little nervous. Hermione was about to ask if everything was okay when Ron finally spoke up, "Can we talk?"

"Aren't we talking now?" She asked, trying feebly to lighten the foreboding mood.

"I mean like really talk. About the future." Not knowing where the conversation was heading only knowing that Ron really wanted to say something, Hermione could only nod for Ron to continue.

"It's a couple of things really. First, I wanted to tell you that I'm not going back to Hogwarts in September. I've decided, with Lee, that I'll work at the joke shop if George needs me to. I can't leave, my family needs me. It's bad enough with Fred gone and Ginny will be going back to school too, I think I can be more useful where I am now." Hermione was stunned by his admission, she had always assumed that everyone would return for a proper seventh year when Professor McGonagall had informed them of her plans for the students unable to gain suitable education in the terrible year leading up to the battle. She knew that Ron, and Harry, were having doubts about their futures as aurors, but she thought they'd at least sit their NEWTs just in case.

"Wow," was all she could say "are you sure about this? Have you told your mother?"

"I'm sure. I need to be here. I haven't told mum, but dad, Bill, and Charlie all agree with me. Charlie's even thinking of moving back closer to home. Mum's strong, but she can't lose four kids in one year. Plus, Ginny will feel guilty about leaving if no one else is home with mum. Ginny deserves to go back; I can't take that away from her."

"Well, if you're sure... So you definitely don't want to pursue being an auror?"

"Nah, I think I've seen enough action lately. I could use the break." Hermione could definitely agree with that. She was so looking forward to the start of term, in truth the familiar world of academia couldn't return quickly enough.

"It won't be the same without you, but for what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision." She offered, knowing that this probably was the right path for Ron. Academia had never been his strong suit and his family needed him, his choice was clear and she could hardly blame him.

"Thanks for understanding. And listen, 'Mione, about us –"

"– its fine." Hermione rushed to finish his sentence; she really didn't want him feeling guilty about staying home when she was just earlier contemplating when to breakup with him. "I'm sure we'll figure something out." Ron seemed, somehow, even more nervous. Hermione was beginning to understand the source of his discomfort.

"Well, that's kind of the second part of what I wanted to talk about. I think it's possible that maybe before, we built this up to be something more than it is, and it's not really what either of us really want anymore." Hermione was surprised for the second time by Ron's confession. Had he really felt the same way as she did this whole time? Seeing Ron's sheepish grin, she thought that might be the case.

"I think you're right." He visibly relaxed at her admission; the topic had clearly been weighing on him. For the briefest of moments she was happy that he was the one to end things, but then she felt guilt for it. Trying to ease the awkward tension in the room, Hermione asked, "It was a little bit bizarre between us, right?"

"Yeah, completely. You know, I really do appreciate how much you've been here for me. I don't want you to think that I was just using you, I really do love you. You and Harry are my best friends and I would never want to threaten that."

"I understand," Hermione said, she didn't want him to feel bad about breaking up with her; this was the best decision for them. "I'm actually relieved to be completely honest. Is that awful of me?"

"Well don't spare my feelings," Ron joked, "it's not bad, we're just too good of friends and I want us to stay that way. Let's be honest, if we were together for a long time we'd end up killing each other. Probably, you'd kill me."

"Definitely. Sorry, but I would." Hermione joked.

"I knew it. So, we're fine? No hard feelings?" Ron asked, still nervous but slowly turning back to normal.

"None at all. Friends?" she offered her hand in a conciliatory handshake which he accepted. "Now tell me the truth, did the more 'intimate' aspects of our relationship become incredibly awkward or was that just me?" Ron scoffed in jesting offence to her question.

"So I'm not as good as Krum?" Ron asked.

Hermione was happy they could joke around again and she almost couldn't believe how quickly the atmosphere between them had gone back to normal; it gave her hope that perhaps there really was a light at the end of the tunnel. Glad to have her friend back but unwilling to let his implications besmirch her good name; Hermione cuffed the back of Ron's head.

"Bloody hell! What was that for?"

Hermione merely laughed in response as Ron rubbed the back of his head, trying to alleviate the pain from her brutal assault.

Ron sighed, "So what's next?"

"I need to go to Australia." She had no idea how to go about finding her parents, and she didn't know if their memories would come back, but she needed to find them.

"You know, I can come along for a little bit if you need some friendly company, I'm sure Harry will go too." Ron suggested. Hermione was grateful for his offer but she knew that she couldn't take Ron away from his family, and truth be told she could use some space.

"I think this is something I have to do alone." She said. Ron simply nodded in understanding. "I should get going, please give the family my best and will you let Harry know that I've gone home?"

"Sure, come here." Ron held his arms open for Hermione to step into his embrace, "If I don't see you before you leave please be safe. I love you."

Hermione smiled at his admission before disengaging from the hug and apparating to her temporary home of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

A/N: I'm not completely happy about this chapter, but it will have to do because I don't feel like rewriting it fifteen times. I hope I didn't make Ron look like a jerk, it always bugs me when I see hardcore Ron bashing. He's not my favorite character, but I don't think he's a monster. Breaking up with someone after a funeral isn't really the nicest thing but it had to be done. I really don't think that Hermione and Ron would have a satisfying relationship in any scenario, there's too much history between the pair and ultimately I don't see them as being terribly compatible. I hope this, or at least their reasons, came through in the chapter.

Thanks for reading and please don't hesitate to leave a review; all questions, comments, and complaints (within reason) are welcome! I'm worried that I've read this fic too many times and it's been in my head for so long, that the things I think are clear might not be so clear to fresh eyes. I'd like to improve my writing, so feedback would be wonderful!