Author's Notes: Now that the strange behaviors have been discovered, what will the students do? Yeah, whatever.
The power totally failed while I wrote this last wee so a lot was deleted against my will. That made me really discouraged so I didn't work on it much after that. Good thing I got it done, though!
Chapter Two
Making Plans
Team 7
Kakashi stood there, too shocked to speak. The three intruders froze in a panic,
also unable to speak.
A small dog barked and popped out of the collar of Kakashi's jacket.
Naruto began frantically looking around the room hoping to get an idea. Finally he looked at Kakashi.
"How'd the hell did I end up here?!" he cried.
Kakashi still stood frozen, unable to move. Sakura and Sasuke, however, turned back to their teammate with panicked, unmoving smiles on their faces.
Naruto began winking at his confused friends furiously. "Sakura, Sasuke," he said, his voice strained. "I didn't know you guys sleep walk like I do!"
Still frozen, Sasuke managed to say, "Oh, yes we do."
"Wow!" Naruto grinned nervously at Kakashi. "I even dressed myself, too! I gotta stop doing that! Kakashi, where are we?!"
Sakura blurted, "I've never seen this place in my life!"
"Let's get back home and change those locks on our doors so we don't ever end up in mysterious places again." Naruto said quickly. "See you tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei!" The three nodded and dashed past the still frozen teacher that stood there. They grabbed the door handle and leaped into the streets, running madly until they reached the park several streets down. Once there, they doubled over in exhaustion.
The three, without another word, walked home separately in awkward silence.
Team 10
The three came together the next morning with their pockets filled with Asuma's cigarettes that they had…ahem…stolen. They had decided the night before that they'd find every cigarette that Asuma owned and, being that it was still early, they figured Asuma would be still asleep for a while and not notice them missing.
"We're bringing a happier, healthier lifestyle to our good sensei." Choji said. "There is no guilt in what we've done."
"You know," Shikamaru began. "We have got to be the unhealthiest team in Konoha."
"That's not true!" Ino snapped, emptying her pockets into a small box Shikamaru had brought with him.
"Face it; we have a kid, me, who doesn't do anything, a kid who eats too much, and a girl who doesn't eat at all. Plus we have a heavy smoking teacher. Look at Neji's team; they have Lee, who is in top shape." The three paused as dark thoughts about Lee's future demise circled in their thoughts. "Kakashi's team has Sasuke and Naruto, who's fitter than I am. Even Kiba's team is better in shape than we are."
The other two looked at each other sadly. Shikamaru, like always, was right. They continued to empty Asuma's cigarettes into the box for a while longer. They had just finished when they heard a voice from behind.
"Guys!" Asuma cried in a fearful voice. "Someone robbed me!" He stopped when he saw the box in Shikamaru's hands.
Quickly, Shikamaru slammed down the lid and locked it. Asuma began to run forward but stopped at the sound of the lock clicking. Shikamaru's face darkened as he held the box over the bridge railing.
"You wouldn't!" Asuma snarled.
"I would." Shikamaru said. "And I will."
"I'd just go fish them out." Asuma shot back.
"This box isn't waterproof." Shikamaru said. "They'd be all destroyed."
"There's about twenty-six packs in there." Choji added. Asuma froze.
"We won't drop them unless you do something." Ino informed him. Asuma looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Quit." Shikamaru said.
"What?!" Asuma snapped. "I don't have to take this!"
"But these do?" Shikamaru said, shaking the box slightly. "If you promise to quit I won't drop them." Asuma looked up, hopeful. "But I'd have to give them away." he added, making Asuma's face fall again.
"Come on," Ino pleaded. "You could die with this lifestyle you have!"
"And in return," Shikamaru suddenly said. "We'll do the same."
Asuma blinked, confused. "You'll stop smoking, too?" he asked. "Wait…what?"
"No." Shikamaru said. "We'll start becoming healthier, too."
"What are you doing?!" Ino whispered.
"Ino will start eating again."
"I'll what!?"
"Choji will lose a few pounds."
"What's wrong with the ones I have?!"
"And I'll start exercising." Shikamaru ended. "We'll all make a change."
As Choji and Ino gaped at the traitor, Asuma gasped with shock.
"You seriously mean it!?" he gasped.
"Yep." Shikamaru nodded. "We promise."
Asuma began to think about this…and really hard, too. For the past few months he had gotten complaints about his team being not "physically" well. Even after Shikamaru had become a chuunin, the complaints had continued. Was this a way out of it?
He cringed but nodded. "Fine." he agreed. "I'll do it."
Team Gai
Neji and Tenten had asked Gai to come see them in the park that afternoon. As Gai sat there, face to face with his two students and smiling, Lee was pacing nearby with a worried look on his face. He had known about their plans and was worried sick about them, but something made him hesitant about stopping them.
"So, my kind, loving student," Gai grinned. "What are we hear for? You want to learn some of my moves? Comment on my good looks?"
Neji blinked. "No." he said slowly.
"We need to talk to you about your…problem." Tenten said suddenly. Slowly, she reached for an envelope and held it out for Gai to take.
Smiling, Gai opened it and took out a fancy looking piece of paper. He read it silently, then, when he was done, looked up at them, confused.
"What's a…'restraining order?'" he read aloud.
"It means you can't come near us." Neji said. "Or an ANBU squad will come to our aid." Tenten and Neji moved a few feet away, looking satisfied.
"And beat you." Tenten added.
Gai looked utterly crushed. "I can't see you again?!" he gasped.
"Chill out, Gai." Tenten said. "The order only lasts a week."
It seems that when the three presented the idea to the Hokage and his staff, they were more than happy to give them a restraining order. It seems that they…don't like Gai very much. But because Gai WAS their teacher, they could only give them one with a limited time lapse. Therefore, it only lasted seven days.
"It's only long enough for you to learn your lesson." Tenten explained.
"My…lesson?" Gai sniffed. "What lesson?"
"TO GET OUT OF OUR FREAK'N BUISNESS!" Neji suddenly exploded. The burst of unusual, out-of-character behavior clearly showed Neji's…passion about the subject. "I spend my nights thinking I'm seeing you staring at me over my bed in my nightmares." He stuttered.
"I am standing over you." Gai said casually. Tenten and Neji went pale.
"That's why we need you to keep a distance." Tenten mumbled.
"Or we'll renew that!" Neji threatened, pointing to the papers.
"You people are so mean to sensei!" Lee sobbed, unable to keep silent for much longer. "I won't leave you, Gai-sensei!"
"Lee," Tenten sighed. "We put your name on the order, too."
As Gai franticly looked over the order again to make sure it wasn't right, Lee burst into tears. "Is it true, Gai-sensei!?" he wailed.
Sadly, Gai nodded, looking crushed.
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Dear lord, not this again." Neji grumbled. "Come ON, Lee!"
Tenten quickly grabbed Lee around the waist and, being as strong as she was, lifted him onto her shoulder and began to walk away from a very broken-hearted Gai. He sat there, watching them leave with the papers clenched in his hands.
"No law will ever stop me from protecting my students from the horrors of the universe!" he vowed. "I will not let this stop me!"
Team 8
The three rookies sat there in the sun all day, not quite sure what to do. They had been sitting in silence for three hours until Shino began to scratch fiercely at his head.
"I…can't take the silence anymore!" he gasped. Hinata jumped in terror at his outburst and grabbed Kiba's arm.
"What's happening to him!?" she screamed. Shino's magic bug flew out from his sleeves and began flying in clumps around his ears, making a strange, loud buzzing sound that made Shino relax. Hinata began breathing fast again.
"Don't scare Hinata like that!" Kiba snapped at Shino while trying his best to claw Hinata off.
"We have no ideas!" Shino stammered. The trauma from the day earlier had made him strangely more, how you say, fidgety. In an awkward way, too. Shino had never been this jumpy. As he sat, twitching, Kiba sighed.
"I weep for you, man." he mumbled.
"What are we going to do!?" Shino cried. "I don't wanna go back to that place again!"
"Victoria's Secret?" Kiba asked.
"Don't speak it!" Shino hissed.
"I don't know why you think it was so bad." Kiba grinned. "I went with you…it wasn't that bad."
"Shut-up, Kiba!" Shino gasped. "YOU didn't have to ask a lady what a thong was!"
"You could have asked me, ya' know." Kiba sighed. "I kinda known what they are. It's no secret."
He stopped because Shino was staring at him, mouth-opened. "You sicken me, Kiba." he snapped.
"Shino is right though…" Hinata mumbled but panicked suddenly. "I WASN"T TALKING ABOUT THONGS!" she cried. The two shushed her, looking embarrassed. Several people walking by stared oddly at Hinata, who went red in the face.
"Why was I right?" Shino said, suddenly serious. He sophisticating-ly adjusted his glasses.
"I meant we needed to find out a way to stop Kurenai from spending." she whispered.
"Oh, yeah!" Kiba cried. Akamaru popped his head out of Kiba's jacket and barked.
"Wait, guys!" he suddenly cried. "Akamaru says he has an idea!"
Hinata and Shino stared as Kiba awkwardly began "conversing" with Akamaru in a series of barks, howls, and other dog-like noises. After he was done, he turned back to them.
"He says we should take her…what was that again?"
The two began barking…again. When they were done and Hinata was practically hidden in her shirt with embarrassment, he spoke again.
"He says we should take her credit cards away." he said.
"Her what?!" Shino coughed. "That's…!"
There was the sound of a thump besides them; Hinata had fainted.
After the two managed to bring Hinata "back", she began shaking violently.
"We can't do that!" she stammered. "That's st-st-st-stealing!"
"We have no other choice," Kiba said. "Akamaru's right. We have to go with that."
"But we…" Shino began.
"Look, do you have a better idea?" Kiba snapped. The two turned red and looked away.
"Fine." Shino mumbled, trying to look dignified. "We'll go with that." The three shuddered as they began to leave for Kurenai's house.
Team 7 (Later that evening)
The team had discussed their plans but walked back to Kakashi's house with heavy hearts. When they arrived, they fought over who was and who wasn't going to knock on the door.
"I say Naruto does it." Sasuke said.
"No way!" Naruto snapped. "I saved us last night! If I hadn't played dumb who knows what would have happened! Sasuke can do it."
"Hey!" Sakura snapped. "We want YOU to do it!"
"I don't wanna do it!" Naruto whined. "I really…REALLY don't wanna!" He glared at them. "Besides! You two made me into a battering ram yesterday! We broke his front door!"
"He got a new one!" Sasuke snapped.
"But I don't deserve to do something like this again. You owe me!"
"Fine." Sasuke sighed. "We won't let you knock on the door."
"Thank you." Naruto smiled, satisfied.
"So we'll use your head to knock it." Sasuke finished. The two grabbed Naruto once more and pounded his head (slightly more lightly this time).
After few minutes of no one answering, Sasuke grabbed a sad and hurt Naruto again and knocked his head into the door. "Hello!?" he bellowed, angrily. "Kakashi-sensei! Come out now!"
"No!" came a sad sounding voice inside. Howls and barks followed Kakashi's wails.
"Kakashi, we need to talk." Sakura sighed. "Please come out."
"I'm not home!" Kakashi snapped.
"Yes you are!" Naruto cried. "Now get out here before my forehead splits open!"
For some reason after he said that, Kakashi poked his head out from the door. He looked at the door again and began crying again. "You made my new door bloody!" he winced.
"Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke sighed. "You have too many dogs."
"I do not!" Kakashi snapped.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried. "You have TOO MANY dogs! You can't take care of this many! The law could take them away!"
"You can't own this many in your house." Sasuke sighed. "They could arrest you."
Kakashi gaped at him. "I'm a good owner!" he gasped. "I'm not…I'm…"
"You need to give them up for adoption." Sakura said sadly. Naruto looked down sadly, too. After all, Naruto was an animal lover, too.
"I'd take one!" he said suddenly. "Or two! I'll help you bring your dogs to a new, good, loving home! We'll find them good families!"
"He's right." Sakura smiled.
"I can't…!" Kakashi gasped. "I…I love them all! I could never give them away!" He suddenly disappeared inside his house for a moment and came back out with a small puppy in his hands. He held it out to Naruto, who winced at its cuteness.
"This is my newest little guy!" he stammered. "I love him! How could I let him go!?"
Naruto began crying too. "I…he's really cute!" he stammered and hugged the little dog. "If you want…I'll take this one!"
"Good lord…" Sasuke groaned. "This is ridiculous!"
"Look at him, Sakura!" Naruto whimpered. "He's so cute!"
"Do you understand my problem!?" Kakashi cried.
"Yes!" Naruto sobbed. "I do, I really do!"
"Stop that!" Sasuke hissed. "You're not helping, Naruto!"
"I…I'm just trying to solve this problem with compassion!" he snapped. He turned back to Kakashi and nodded sadly. "You do need to give them up. I'm sorry…"
Kakashi's mouth dropped. "Traitors!" he snapped. "How could my own students betray me!?"
"We'll find them loving families!" Sakura cried. "We'll hold an adoption party in the park! People can come and look at them and take them home!"
"Not to my home!" Kakashi snapped. "Where they should be!"
"Kakashi…" Naruto whimpered. He held up the little puppy. "Think about it…it's the best thing you could do for the little guys. They'll go to families who can actually afford food for them! In places where they won't be so cramped with other dogs! With a family who loves them!"
"You can still keep two or three." Sakura said. Kakashi was silent. He was still looking at the puppy Naruto held.
"You…" he began. "…you really think it's for the best…?"
"Yeah." Naruto said. Kakashi looked crushed.
"Al…alright…" he said at last. Sakura put her arm around his shoulder. "I'll…do it. For my little guys…"
Team 8 (That night)
Hinata sat about three feet away from her teammates who sat looking at the thousands of credit cards they had found. They were alone in the dark, empty park, looking at their prizes.
"She…has so many!" Kiba gasped. Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Did we miss any?" Shino asked. Hinata whimpered fearfully. She wanted no part in this horror.
"I'm going home…" she mumbled. "I'll…see you tomorrow…"
"Night, Hinata." Kiba called after her. He looked back at her. She had stopped walking.
"You okay, Hinata?" Shino asked. Hinata said nothing and remained turned away from them.
"Oy! Hinata!" Kiba called. "You okay?"
"You won't be for long!" came a murderous voice as Kurenai shoved her way past Hinata in rage. "Give me back my credit cards…!"
Author's Notes: One of the cutest moments Naruto has ever had (in my opinion) is the episode with Haku's bunny rabbit. I loved the concept of him being a sweet little animal lover. Poor Naruto, he wants to let Kakashi keep them all but he just can't. And good lord poor Kakashi! I'm so sorry for doing this to you, Kakashi! Really, I am!
Asuma is just creepy with this whole thing…
Ever watched Animal Cops, that show on Animal Planet? Ever seen those crazy people with 1,000,000,000 dogs on that show? That's how I think Kakashi's house looks like.