Chapter 2

Olivia sat down next to him and looked into the fire, neither saying a word. Elliot took another drink out the whisky bottle. He offered it to Olivia, she shook her head.

"No thanks one of us has to drive"

"How did you find me?"

"Maureen, she came to my apartment to look after the twins, whilst I came looking for you"

Elliot looked at Olivia "The twins…why are they with you?"

"They came to the station refusing to go back home unless you were there. They had snuck out the house after you left and came to find me"

Elliot dropped his head down. "Are they okay?"

"No. They're both upset and worried about you, and right now hate Kathy"

Olivia watched Elliot as he took in what she said and took another drink. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. Olivia had never seen him look so vulnerable in all the time she had known him. He had always been the strong one. They both sat in silence again. Olivia knew he would talk when he was ready. After he took another drink out the bottle, Olivia reached over and took the bottle out his hand and took a drink, before handing it back, the liquid burned her throat as it went down.

"You know I asked her if Eli was mine, after we got back together" he sniffed. "She lied to my face when she told me he was"

"I know El"

"Why Liv ….why would she do that" he sobbed the tears flowing freely from his eyes and down his face. "What did I do to make her hate me so much?"

Olivia reached over and took hold of his hand "I don't know El" she said wiping the tears away from her face. It was so hard to watch the heart of her best friend breaking like this, and apart from sitting with him there was nothing she could do to help the pain.

"When she came to the station to ask me to come home, and come back to her, I was going to say no. I knew I wasn't in love with her anymore; it wouldn't have been fair to go back and live a lie. She must have known what I was going to say cause it was then that she told me she was pregnant"

He took another drink "What a fucking joke" he laughed. "She knew I would go back to her if she told me she was pregnant, just like I married her when she fell pregnant with Maureen"

"Elliot that's cause you're a good man" Olivia said tightening her grip on his hand.

"No its because I'm and idiot…..Christ one stupid night after a bad case. I didn't even go for her I wanted to see the kids. I should of just left but no I had to ….. I just needed to be with someone, it wasn't even her I wanted, she was just there"

Olivia looked at the bottle in his hand he was close to half way through it. She reached over and took the bottle off him, picking up the cap and screwing it on. Elliot watched her a frown appearing on his face.

"Give me the bottle back Liv"

"I'm sorry but No" she said moving it away from her out of his reach "You getting drunk isn't going to change anything.

"Just give me the Damn bottle!" he snapped.

Olivia shook her head "No, I'm not gonna let you sit here and get drunk, getting drunk doesn't change anything El your problems will still be there in the morning"

"Just give me the fucking bottle Liv!" he shouted reaching across the front of her trying to grab the bottle. Olivia moved away quickly jumping up.

"El your kids need you" she said looking down at him.

"Yeah well right now I need that bottle" he said getting to his feet and standing in front of her glaring down at her "Now hand it over"

Olivia moved the bottle behind her back looking into his eyes seeing the hurt and pain he was feeling, and shook her head again. "I'm sorry El I can't" she told him her voice soft and gently.

"Please Liv" he begged the tears falling again "Just let me forget, just let me forget for one night that the little boy I love with all my heart isn't mine"

He dropped his head onto Olivia's shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist as he held her and cried. Olivia threw the bottle across the sand and put her arms around him stoking the back of his neck, her head falling into the crook of his neck.

"It's going to be okay El" she said her voice just above a whisper as she felt his tears soak through the shirt she had on. "I will be here with you no matter what happens" she told him as the sobs shook his body against her. As she stood holding her partner trying to comfort him she cried for the pain he was feeling.

After a few minutes he sniffed and pulled back. Their eyes made contact as the stood not talking. Elliot ran his fingers through her hair and brushed the stray strands behind her ear. Olivia swallowed; she could feel her hear beating against her chest as he looked at. They had never been this close in their 11 years together.

"Thank you Liv" he whispered. She could feel his breath on her as he talked and smell the whisky.

"Hey what are partners for" she whispered back at him never breaking away from his eyes. She knew she should pull away before things got out of hand. He was upset, and he had been drinking.

"El we should go" she said her voice low.

"I don't want to…..not yet" he moved his head even closer "Being here with you helps me forget" he said his lips gently brushing hers. Olivia felt Goosebumps over her body, she had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, but she knew this was wrong, he wasn't thinking straight.

"El we need to stop" she said without moving.

"Okay" he whispered as his lips pressed against hers so soft and tender, Olivia felt her legs go weak, but she knew she had to stop it. Against everything her heart was screaming at her, she pulled her head away, and raised her hands to either side of his face.

"I'm sorry El but I….we can't do this"

"I'm sorry" he sighed.

"Don't be sorry" she said "if you had tried that any other time I would have jumped your bones"

He gave her a slight smile"Yeah?"

"Yeah" she smiled back at him "Come on "she said moving away from him and kicking sand over the flames to put them out leaving them stood in the darkness "Let's get you back to your Kids they need you". She turned to walk away and he grabbed her arm pulling her back to him holding her tight. He left go and took hold of hand as they walked up the beach back to her car.

They sat in silence on the way back; every now and then she would catch him looking at her before he would turn away and look out the window. They had left his car at the beach Olivia would arrange for it to be picked up later. They pulled up outside her apartment and got out the car. Olivia walked up the steps and turned back to see Elliot just standing.

"El?"

"What do I say to them?" he asked.

She came back down the steps towards him "You have done nothing wrong; those kids in there love you and want to be there for you as a family. You don't need to say anything"

He nodded and reached for her hand which she took and they entered the building.

Olivia put the key in the door and quietly opened the door in case the kids were sleep. As they walked in they saw all three of the kids curled up together on the floor lying on cushions and blankets. As the door clicked shut Maureen opened her eyes and looked.

"Dad" she said sitting up

"Hey sweetheart" he whispered going towards them "are you all okay?" he asked trying hard not to cry.

Maureen nodded "How could she do this Daddy how could she tear the family apart like this?" she asked tears falling down her face. Elliot shook his head.

"I don't know" he said sitting down and taking his oldest daughter in his arms and holding her.

"Dad" said Lizzy sitting up and moving to her dads side "your back we were worried about" she said moving beside him so he could put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry Honey I just needed time alone, I didn't mean to worry you"

"Are you ok?" asked Dickie standing up and sitting on the couch next to his dad and sisters putting his hand on his dads shoulder.

"I will be son….Now why don't you all get some sleep; I need to get a shower"

"Yeah you do pong quite a bit" said Lizzie scrunching up her nose and sniffing. Elliot smiled at her.

"Come here" he said kissing both his daughters go to sleep. He stood up and faced Dickie pulling his son into his arms hugging him.

"I love you Dad" he said.

"Love you to son, I love all of you" he said, even Eli he thought to himself. "Now get some sleep".

He turned the tableside light out and walked towards Olivia who had come out the bedroom.

"I have put some clothes you left here and a towel in the bathroom so you can have a shower and change"

"Thanks Liv…..for everything" he said heading to the bathroom.

Whilst he was in the shower Olivia made 2 hot chocolates and took them into the bedroom, a few minutes later he came out and she handed him a cup.

"Thanks" he smiled at her taking a drink" I feel a lot better, where did you get these from?" he asked her about the sweats and t-shirt he had on.

"You must have left them here one night, I'm not sure actually" she said yawning.

Elliot took another drink "Listen you must be shattered, I will let you get some sleep" he said turning away.

Olivia grabbed his hand "Come on" she said leaving the bedroom door open and leading him to her bed. She took the chocolate off him and put it down, before she pulled the blankets back and climbed in lying on her side. She patted the bed next to her. Elliot lay down next to her his back flush to her and she pulled the blankets over them, putting her arm around him. Elliot took hold of her hand and kissed it gently, before placing it on his chest keeping a hold of it. He closed his eyes and felt sleepy straight away his breathing starting to relax. Olivia heard his breathing relax,

"I love you El" she whispered so quietly, thinking he was asleep.

"I love you too Liv" he whispered back "I have done for years".