Chapter 2
Zeb accompanied Jessica into the department store, sulking. Not against her. Against the world that allowed such things as Barnabas Collins and George Brant to flourish.
But he was doing something about it, even if he had told Jessica nothing about it. She would not believe him. Worse, she might actually side with those... creatures.. Even after she had found out that it was all true.
No one understood him or cared for him. No one, except his new found friends. Even Sandy, who had been so vocal once, was no Barnabas' side. Iris... forget it. The way she sounded, it was all his fault.
He felt his face flush. He could not think about it without getting flustered...what Barnabas and George did. It made him sick. It was unnatural. It was vicious, it was...
From behind the sting of laughter reached him. He turned angrily. Was somebody laughing at him?
But they had not seen him. It was a man and a woman, sharing a joke. Frank and Buffy Torrance.
He stared at Buffy. Stared at her hard.
The light was warm and welcoming. The figures inside seemed friendly. Somewhere between apes and babies. Even cute. He greeted them and they greeted him.
He glided towards them. He felt himself coming closer, but no muscles of his were involved, only his desire to be closer... Must be a mechanism of some kind. He wished to be there, and he was there. Strange... if he could think of such words as strange. but he could not. It was wonderful, magnificent, a dream...
... It was a dream. Xavier got up from the grass where he had fallen asleep, waiting for the U.F.O. to show up.
A dream. A stupid dream of the friendly, cute, playful space people. Him, of all people! Was he lost in fantasies already? He was a serious researcher, for God' sake, not a dewy eyed dreamer, like many he could mention. Those were not aliens. They were cute Disney creatures! Whatever aliens could be, they certainly would not be cute.
"You cannot let it go, can you?' George asked him. He knew the answer to this. Barnabas could not let go of Robert Loomis, and how he had died under his roof.
"It is hard." Barnabas admitted.
"You tried."
"I did not try enough. I had bitten him. I could have made sure that he did not smoke in bed. But I was careless. I did not realize how ingrained that was in him, and how much more pressure I needed to put in him. I thought that I could get away with simple commands, instead of taking over his will enough that he would be unable to."
"It was bound to happen, sooner or later. I know that it is cruel to say this, but he had been at the edge for a long time. Winos do not have a long life expectancy. And from what Willie tells me about him, I do not think that it was a great waste.'
"I know how he mistreated Willie. No worse than I did. And he was a victim, too. Maybe of himself, but still a victim. I wanted to make it easy for him in his last years."
"Barnabas, you can't save everybody. You can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"But when I see the pictures of those who sleep on the streets I want to do something."
"Then try to set up a proper homeless shelter here. Donate to the ones that already exist. And stop beating yourself for what you cannot change."
"Still, it was under my roof."
"Yes, it was."
"Just like Pansy Faye. Under my roof..."
'He worries me." Jessica confided to Julia "He is obsessed. He just can't let go. I hoped that after that fiasco with Yolanda he would see reason. But he just shuts me out, and locks himself in his study for hours."
"Have you tried discussing it with him?"
"He just accuses me of being on Barnabas's the sheriff's side."
"And are you?"
"Yes. Not at first. I was quite shocked to find that it was true. The sheriff doesn't look the type. And Barnabas... well, anything is possible with him."
"But now you accept it."
"There are far worse things going in this town. Homosexuality is so... pedestrian, given what happens. But how can I get Zeb to see it that way?"
"I don't like asking you favors", Roger told Barnabas, without preamble. In fact, I do not like you much."
Barnabas thought that it was an understatement. After all, a couple of years ago Roger had tried to kill him. But he did not say it aloud. Instead he was quietly supportive. "And how can I help you?"
"Not me. Carolyn. She's drinking and I can't convince her to stop. I try to tell her that Adam is not worth it, but it is no use."
"She can be quite stubborn." Barnabas commented.
'Yes. And she is more upset about this business aboutt he women protesting at the cannery, they take offense because men find them attractive, can you imagine? And they call her names.."
Barnabas decided that it was not the time to enlighten Roger about sexual harassment. It would go over his head, anyway.
But if Carolyn's drinking was out of control, that needed attending to.
"I will see what I can do." he said.
Poor Roger. He was a headache most of the time. But he did not doubt the devotion that he had for Carolyn, a devotion made stronger by his estrangement from David.
"Thanks." Roger said. And Barnabas knew what it had cost Roger to say that much.
"I finally got the money" Derek announced proudly to George "I can now make plans for the expedition."
"And I'd better not ask you how you got the money. Not if I want to keep my sanity, right?"
Derek made a face that confirmed George's suspicions.
"It is a bit cold now to go diving." he told Derek. "If you manage not to lose on horses, you should be able to do it this spring."
"I will not lose it." Derek said. "I will hold on to it. And I will find the jewels."
"You know, Derek, the way you talk about them, sometimes I believe that they exist."
"But they do!"
"Forgive me, but I just can't believe it."
Joe and Tammy faced each other. There was tension between them. Not as there had once been, and with each day, it was less and less. But there was tension and would be there for quite a while.
"I know that it is not your fault." Tammy said. 'Neither what Yolanda forced you to do, nor what Delia and Violet did. Yet something in me blames you."
"Do you blame me, or does Jake?"
Anger flared in her eyes, then died down. "Jake has been putting pressure on me. I became dependent on him while I was in Wyncliffe and he uses it."
"I could talk to him."
"No. She shook her head. "This is something that I have to settle by myself. No outsiders."
'Outsiders?" Joe was hurt. Is that what you call me?"
"That's what Jake calls you."
"Is that what you call me? What you consider me to be?"
"Joe, please..."
"What you and Jake mean is that I am a honkie. Damn it, Tammy, say it. Is that what everybody else is? Is that what Barnabas is? You know that it is nonsense. Don't tell me that it is not."
"Joe I know that you are right. Don't you think that I have nor reproached myself the same way that you are doing? I just can't keep Jake out of my thoughts. You have no idea of the strength of the bond between a therapist and a patient."
"And he abused it. He should be reported to Barnabas."
"I... I can't.:"
"Well, I can."
Kenneth just shook his head.
"Well," Xavier asked. "What I got?"
"A fever. I will run some tests. But considering that you slept outside, on the grass, as you told me, that time you went hunting for U.F.O.s I can figure out what happened. The question is how to keep it from turning into a pneumonia."
"I also keep having these dreams."
"Well, if they do not go away, you may have to talk to my wife about them. Although it does not surprise me that you have them. You are full of anxiety. You have problems at your business. Your children have disappointed you. And on top of that, you have this anxiety about proving the existence of U.F.O.s You should try to relax more.
"But I think that there is more to the dreams."
"Again, talk to Julia about them. She is the expert. As for now I am prescribing bed rest. Dink plenty of fluids, Keep warm, and do not worry more than it is absolutely necessary."