There has to be some sort of logical explanation for her ignoring me like that. I plop my tray off food down onto the typical lunch table.
"Hey Arnold, what's eating you?" Harold shoots me a concerned look. For a guy who grew up an overweight bully he really found his own in high school football. Harold was the state champ quarterback.
"Nothing, nothing. Just thinking, ya know? It was weird seeing Helga again though that's for sure."
My table nods in agreement. I take a moment to realize how lucky I have it, my group from fourth grade is still all together. Besides Harold, Gerald, and I there's still Eugene, Sid, and Stinky. I look up from my friends discouraged, how could she not say anything to me? I've been craning my neck all day just to get a glance at her again, I can't stop she magnetic. I look down at my food as Gerald approaches and then I see her.
She's walking with Phoebe toward an empty table in the back.
"Why isn't your girlfriend sitting with us, man? She always does and we have an extra seat for Helga," Harold jabs him in the ribs.
"They want some 'girl time', Helga's been freaking out about coming back for months now. She probably needs to be talked down again." My stomach lurches forward.
"You mean you knew she was coming back? Did you know she looked like that," Stinky draws out with his accent that never went away.
"Yea man, she ain't got nothing on my girl though."
"I don't know, she's looking like a cool glass of water to me," Eugene says while checking her out. There's a murmur of agreement from the table, which makes me blood pump. These guys shouldn't be talking about her like that she's still Helga. I look over at her table for the first time since they sat down.
She's sitting straight, eyes bright with laughter, confidence brimming. Whatever Phoebe is telling her is working. She looks over at me and blushes slightly while biting her lip. I can't help but wonder if their as soft as they look. I have to go talk to her.
Today is never going to end is it? I walk with Phoebe and Gerald to lunch, it seems they are going to be my only friends and he is only included because of her. Gerald doesn't hold anything against me from all those years ago but he was suspicious at first. With all of the Skyping Phoebe and I logged he learned how much I really changed and accepted me as a new person. I'm just scared no one else will.
We walk into the cafeteria and for the 3rd time today everyone stares at me. This time I keep my head up though, I can't retreat back to my old ways, its not who I am anymore. While the lovebirds chit chat I grab my lunch from the line, granted I cant imagine stomaching anything right now. We pay for our food and they begin to lead me to a table, I almost follow until I look up and see who it is. Arnold, Harold, Eugene, Stinky, and Sid… the boys I bullied most in my youth. I stop dead in my tracks and squeeze Phoebe's arm, I can't handle that yet.
"Gerald, I think I'm going to eat alone with Helga today is that alright?" she asks for me, knowing he can never deny her. He nods his head and smiles, kissing her briefly before bounding over to his boys.
"Helga, you are going to have to face them eventually and I promise it's not as bad as you think." She shakes her head at me smiling.
"I know Phoebs but not yet. I'm not ready to face him yet, not after how we left things off…" She nodded her head and led me to a table in the corner.
For the hundredth time she tells me about how much every grew up. I laugh in the right places and try my hardest to look as confident as I can. This is my home, where I grew up and I've changed just like everyone else. Arnold was always a sweet guy I doubt if he'll hold what happened between us over my head. I don't know why I care so much anyway, I've dated other guys. Once I grew out of my awkward phases I had a never ending stream of boys to choose from. I'm not scared of these boys, not after Tommy back in Arizona. He was the one who took it all from me without giving me a chance to say no, if I can get through him I should have no problem with these guys, no one here would ever do that. I was strong enough for that, for mom passing, for everything that made me who I am I can handle this.
I glance over at Gerald's table; the boys here did grow up nice. Gerald is a big basketball star, he's tall, well built, and a personality that stole my best friend's heart. Harold thinned out a lot, I think he plays football. Stinky is still tall and lanky but slightly more muscular than he was as a kid, he also cut his hair real short. Sid grew into a kind of bad boy, short, skinny, tattoos down his arms. Eugene, however, hasn't changed a bit. Arnold though, he grew into the kind of guy who makes my pulse race. His head rounded out, his hair long and pushed back. He had strong arms and Phoebe told me he worked part time as a mechanic in some garage around here. My pulse starts to race as he glances over me; I feel my face flush and look down. I bite my lip whenever I'm nervous. I hear a chair scuffle back and look to the sound. Arnold is walking toward my table. He smiles widely at Phoebe and takes a seat by her. Before he can get a word out I'm standing up and walking off.
"Sorry Phoebe, I have to run to the office before my next class starts. They need some paperwork dropped off."
With that she was gone again. I slam my hands onto the table. Phoebe looks up at me thoughtfully as Gerald comes over and puts an arm around her.
"Why won't she talk to me?" I cry out, finally letting the built emotion overflow. I never hurt her, never left her standing dazed and confused. She had to answer some questions for me, it goes beyond how beautiful she is, she stirred up emotions in me I don't know how to handle.
"Give her a few days Arnold. She has a lot on her plate you know. She just moved across the country, began a new school and dance school, lost her mother, has to face demons she buried years ago. Maybe stop trying to talk to her until she has time to settle." Phoebe has always been the voice of reason but I'm not sure if I can wait.
The rest of my day goes in a blur of trying to pay attention and thinking of her. The more I remember her kissing me, the more the story changes in my head. Maybe as a kid I did like her, just not realizing it because I was young and dumb. She was always so passionate, determined, and wickedly smart. My brain hurts as I round the corner to my house.
The boarding house is the same as it ever was, except under new management and some new tenets. Grandma and Grandpa still live here; they just couldn't keep up on it anymore so my parents took over. I sit on the front steps, letting the day settle over me. My head fills with memories of years past, of Helga. I think about the way she bullied me, how she always wore a dress and threw a punch, how she acted so cold but often helped me when I needed it most, how she was the most vulnerable when she dance… she is vulnerable when she dances! If I can figure out what school she dances at I can get her to talk to me.
Hello everyone! Thank you so much for reading this and enjoying it. This is my first fanfiction so it is a little rough but I promise if you stick with me I'll get better. Arnold and Helga always fascinated me as a kid so I decided to rebuild their relationship to fit how I think it should have ended. The story is slow, I'm huge on detail, but I promise it's worth it…