ACT 2
EXT. DISTRICT 1100 JUSTICE BUILDING
INT. DISTRICT 1100 JUSTICE BUILDING
Fry, Bender, and Leela stand in a nicely-decorated room with velvet furniture and paintings on the walls.
BENDER
(placing his hands on Fry and Leela's shoulders)
Well, meatbags, I guess this is goodbye. Tell the professor to check behind the filing cabinet for that spare hip I stole from him two months ago.
LEELA
I really wish you hadn't volunteered, Bender. From what I've been told, it's impossible for Fry and me to rescue you while the games are going on.
BENDER
Give it to me straight, guys. Do you think I have a chance at winning this thing?
Fry and Leela briefly look at each other with hesitation.
FRY
Well, it's not like this is the first time you've been put in a situation like this.
LEELA
And as long as you're alive, we'll be able to send you supplies.
BENDER
Like a machine gun so I can shoot all my enemies?
LEELA
No... more like a tent in case it rains on you.
Bender groans in frustration.
LEELA
One last thing: the amount of help you get depends on how much the citizens in the capital like you. So... try not to do anything stupid, okay?
A Peacekeeper walks into the room.
PEACEKEEPER
Hey, did any of you happen to see where we put those wine bottles?
Fry, Bender and Leela shake their heads. When the Peacekeeper walks out of the room, Bender opens his chest plate and reveals he had the wine all along. He giggles.
BENDER
The Capital is colorful and extravagant compared to the slums in District 1100.
INT. PAN-FM CAPITAL STABLE
Bender and Katniss stand next to a chariot and two robot horses. Tributes from the other districts can be seen in the background, preparing to ride out into the Capital crowd.
FEMALE VOICE
(offscreen)
Well, lookie here!
Bender and Katniss turn to see two robots, male and female. The female robot is slim and athletic, while the male robot is bulky and strong.
FEMALE ROBOT
Aren't you that robot who volunteered for the games just to impress your lady friend here?
BENDER
No!
(sheepishly)
Well... yes...
MALE ROBOT
(monotone)
HA, HA. WHEN WE ARE IN THE ARENA, I, KILLTRON 5000, WILL BE THE ONE TO DESTROY YOU.
FEMALE ROBOT
Don't hog all the fun, Killtron! Give me a chance to tear him limb from limb!
The two robots walk away, laughing. Bender frowns. Katniss puts her hand on his shoulder.
KATNISS
Hey, don't let them get to you. They're just trying to unnerve you. Now, c'mon, let's get in the chariot. We're about to head out.
Bender and Katniss step into the chariot and close the side door. The robot horses begin walking, following the other chariots as they ride out into the crowd. Katniss leans over and places a red cloth on Bender's back. He reaches behind him and futilely tries to grab it.
BENDER
Hey! What'd you just put on me?
KATNISS
It's a special cloth that continuously burns without harming us. It'll make us stand out to the capital.
Katniss lights his cloth on fire, as well as the one she's wearing. A small flame erupts from them.
BENDER
Aaah! What's going on?!
ANNOUNCER'S ROOM
A robot version of Caesar Flickerman, whose body is painted like a dark blue suit, narrates into the camera as if he was a commentator for the Olympics.
ROBOT CAESAR
Would you look at the tributes we have this year? They're magnificent! Surely these games are going to be some of the best we've had in a long time. Oh! Here comes the final district!
The capital television displays an overhead view of the District 1100 Chariot. Bender is waving him arms frantically and trying to put out the flame on his back. Katniss stands next to him with her palm on her face.
BENDER
Help! Help! I'm on fire! I can't put it out! Someone help me!
ROBOT CAESAR!
Oh! That must be Bender, the volunteer from planet Earth! Looks like he intends to really heat things up this year, if I do say so myself.
KATNISS
(aside to Bender)
Stop panicking! The fire is supposed to make us stand out!
BENDER
But I don't like being on fire!
(downbeat)
Oh, these games are ruining my life!
INT. SCORING ROOM
Bender walks into a large, gray, metal room full of weapons and supplies. Several Capital Gamemakers are sitting up on a balcony filled with food and drinks.
BENDER
Uh, hi, I'm Bender? I was told I'm supposed to show off to you guys so you can tell everybody how great I am?
The gamemakers nod and watch him in silence. Bender looks around the room at the various weapons.
BENDER
Hm...
He picks up a spear.
BENDER
Alright! Ladies and gentlemen, I call this one the "Bender Twirl!"
Bender tries to spin the spear around him, but he loses his grip and hurls it in the air.
GAMEMAKER
Augh!
A gamemaker is pierced by the spear in the eye. The other gamemakers glare at Bender.
BENDER
Man, tough crowd.
INT. PAN-FM STAGE
The tributes are in a large auditorium filled with capital citizens. Brightly-colored lights illuminate a stage in front. Caesar sits on the stage while Katniss walks away as the audience applauds.
ROBOT CAESAR
And now, our final tribute: Bender!
The audience cheers as Bender approaches the interview seat.
ROBOT CAESAR
Now Bender, I have to say, it must be quite an honor being the first volunteer from another planet. Care to tell us why you volunteered?
BENDER
Well, you know how it is. You see a cute girl, you try to impress her, you wind up fighting to the death on national TV...
The audience laughs.
ROBOT CAESAR
Haha, well, she is quite a catch. Do you think it'll all be worth it if you manage to protect her in the arena?
BENDER
Hell yes! I'm not scared of dying! I don't know about you, but life's been pretty crappy enough as is!
Another round of laughter.
ROBOT CAESAR
Hard to argue with that! So, let's talk strategy. What's your plan in the arena?
BENDER
I have no idea! Some of those robots look like they're ready to have me for dinner!
Bender glances at the tributes who look skilled and deadly. They give him menacing glares.
BENDER
(looking at Caesar, raising an eyebrow)
How do you expect me to compete with that?
The audience laughs even harder.
ROBOT CAESAR
An honest answer? I like it!
A buzzer sounds.
ROBOT CAESAR
Well, looks like we're out of time. Good luck, Bender! And good luck to the rest of the tributes. Tomorrow, the 74th annual Robot Games will begin!
The crowd cheers.
EXT. ROOFTOP - EVENING
Bender and Katniss look out at the city. A blimp is seen overhead that reads, "TUESDAY: ROBOT GAMES BEGIN. WEDNESDAY: BIG SALE ON REPLACEMENT PARTS"
KATNISS
You know, you don't have to protect me when we're in there tomorrow.
BENDER
Don't worry, baby! Bender's got your back!
KATNISS
No really, stay away from me. I don't want to feel like I owe you. Once the games start, it's every robot for themselves.
BENDER
Alright, alright, I get it! Sheesh. But just to let you know, if I see you in danger, I'm not gonna just sit back and watch.
KATNISS
Thanks, Bender. I appreciate it.
BENDER
(putting his arm around Katniss)
So, since this might be our last night alive and all...
KATNISS
Not a chance.
EXT. PAN-FM CAPITAL - NIGHT
The sun rises over the capital. 24 ships rise out of the city and fly off to the arena.
INT. LAUNCH PAD
Bender is led forward by two Peacekeepers into a cylindrical tube. The door on the tube closes and Bender slowly begins rising to the surface.
BENDER
(crouching and looking at the Peacekeepers)
Hey, uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I was thinking maybe I could do this some other time?
He rises completely out of the room.
BENDER
No? You're sure? Okay, then.
EXT. ARENA
Bender rises out of the ground and sees that he's in a plain surrounded by a forest. He and the other tributes are arranged in a circle around a large statue of a flash drive. Surrounding the flash drive are various supplies and weapons.
ANNOUNCER
Let the 74th Annual Robot games begin!
Bender looks around him at the other tributes. Some of them are inspecting their surroundings. Others are eyeing each other, preparing for the kill.
Just in front of the flash drive, Bender spots a bow. He scans the other tributes until he finds Katniss, who is also looking at it. When she turns her head to look at him, he gives her a "thumbs up".
The gong goes off, and all the tributes run toward the flash drive. As Bender runs, he observes all sorts of horrors. A tribute with a sword slashes another tribute in the chest, spilling oil on the ground. Killtron 5000 grabs and pulls the head off of a weaker tribute, whose loose circuits spew sparks.
A small, frail tribute falls down and tries to back away from a stronger tribute. The stronger tribute grins and holds up a sign.
"THE BELOW STATEMENT IS TRUE.
THE ABOVE STATEMENT IS FALSE."
The weaker tribute reads it, and his head explodes.
A giant robot with machine guns for arms fires mercilessly into the crowd. A small, female robot that resembles Rue walks up to the robots and flips a switch on his back that says "ON/OFF". The tribute's eyes dim and he slumps over, dead.
Bender snatches a backpack and makes eye contact with the female robot who taunted him earlier. She grins and brandishes some throwing knives. Bender starts running the other direction, and looks over his shoulder. He sees her about to throw a knife. He holds up his backpack to block the it, but the knife lodges itself in his ass instead.
BENDER
Owowowowowowowow!
Bender runs into the forest, away from the carnage. Once he's safe, he pulls the knife out and starts jogging.
EXT. ARENA - EVENING
Bender's jogging has slowed to a walk. He stumbles, barely able to stand.
BENDER
So... thirsty. Can't... move...
The faint sound of rushing water can be heard.
BENDER
(perking up)
Wait! What's that?
Bender starts moving quickly again toward the noise. Within moments, he comes across a beautiful pond full of pristine water.
BENDER
Water?! I don't need water! What the hell is water gonna do for me?!
He slumps down onto the forest floor.
BENDER
I'm so thirsty. I'm gonna die in here. There's nothing I can do...
A package floats down from the sky.
BENDER
Eh?
He opens the package to find a beer bottle inside, along with a note.
I WANTED TO SEND YOU A PORNO MAG, BUT LEELA WOULDN'T LET ME
BENDER
Ah, Fry. Always thinking of me!
Bender opens the beer bottle and leans against the trunk of a tree.
BENDER
Don't worry, guys. I've survived this long. I still might have a chance.
He takes a sip of the beer and closes his eyes.
A few hours later, Bender opens his eyes and sees Killtron 5000 and the other tributes looking at him from a few yards away. Killtron 5000 is aiming a rocket launcher at Bender.
BENDER
Oh, crap.