I never cared for Pip so this will be an interesting one-shot for me to write.. :)
Just something about...irks me so...*shivers*
Also, I just HAD to put Sparky in this. No one ever writes about Sparky anymore :(
Requested by: Kari the Robot Bunny
Word: Play date
Pairing: Pip x Wendy x Stan
Rating: T (Language because of Pip and his filthy "arse" :3 and slight OOC-ness)
Summary: Wendy has a secret, she's Pip's friend. Pip has a secret; he has a secret crush on Wendy. When Pip invites Wendy over to his foster home to play and have tea & crumpets, things get out of control when Pip trying to confess his love. And Stan follows the two, becoming jealous about this innocent friendship
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"Are you sure no one will see us?"
"I'm absolutely positive! It'll just be you and me!"
"Well then the whole thing sounds absolutely lovely! I'll be there by 5:00 o'clock sharp!"
"Splendid!"
Wendy snapped her cell phone shut with a beaming grin on her face. Tea and crumpets, tea and crumpets, oh how she loved tea and crumpets~
Just saying the word crumpet made her feel like she was a character in a Harry Potter book! She sighed and stepped out of the Marsh's restroom, checking herself in the mirror before she did so, and walked right back into her lovely boyfriend's room that was just a complete mess. Her nose scrunched up as the foul odors of sweat and dirt bombarded the insides of her nose and nearly brought her to tears. Why oh why did her boyfriend have to be a football player she would never figure out but she got used to it that's for sure.
He laid there; reading a sports magazine and listening to his I-Pod without a care in the world, wearing the same clothes he wore to school today and messing up his bed sheets with his gross dirt covered body. Boys were just so...ugh. But she preferred him like this than him turning metro again, that's for sure.
"STAN!" she yelled nearly giving the poor guy a heart attack. He plugged the ear bud out of one ear and had an angry pouty face on.
"Jesus Christ, Wendy what is it?" she held back a laugh.
"My mom just called, I have to get home soon." her fingernails drummed on the cover of her cellphone that she gripped in one hand. Stan stared at her, blinked, and plugged his ear bud back in his ear.
"That's too bad. See yah, Wendy." She huffed out an annoyed sigh before turning her heels and started to leave the bedroom until she heard a creaking and arms choking her back into a hug. Stan nuzzled his head into the back of her neck and gave a toothy grin.
"Just kidding~" he laughed. "I'll miss ya, sport." She giggled and turned around in his arms giving him a quick peck on the check.
"I'll miss ya too, sport" she mimicked his deep voice making his grin even wider when she failed and ended up sounding like one of the Muppets. His hand cradled her face as he looked deep into her eyes.
"Your cute ya know." He kissed on the nose. She rolled her eyes.
"I knew I was something of the sort." She tried to push her way out of his arms. ""Now unhand me you brute, my mother will have a fit if I don't hurry home." Stan's lips melted into a tight smile as he loosened his grip on Wendy and released her from his barricade like arms.
"Alright." he started to walk back into his bedroom until Wendy raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior.
"Alright? No fight, no tickle war, or anything to convince me to stay?" she shook her head. "My word what has happened to you Mr. Marsh. Are you whipped now?" he barked out a laugh.
"Pfft I ain't whipped. I just don't want to piss your mom out again. I have a feeling she doesn't like it when I hold back her only daughter." He raised his hands in arm for dramatics. "So leave! Before she comes over here and has me castrated...again." she rolled her eyes, amused.
"Yes sir, Mr. Marsh, sir." She turned on her heels again and started leaving again. "Whatever you say!" she heard another laugh right before she started walking down the stairs to the first floor of his house.
"Who's whipped now!"
"It's still you, Stan!"
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Wendy was nearly skipping down the sidewalk towards Pip's place. That's right; Wendy Testaburger was secret friends with Philip Pirrup and out of fear of him being beaten up for it she never told a soul. He was a real sweet boy and she never understood why people hated him so much; maybe he could be a little odd at times but he had a good heart and that was all that mattered. That's what always mattered.
Little did she know that she was being followed.
Stan Marsh followed close behind, trying hard not to be seen.
"She's been acting weird lately." He told this to his dog, Sparky, squatting behind a bush. "Talking like she's from some kind of different country and saying words like 'brute' and 'righto', I know something's going on..." he looked down at his dog who barely blinked back. "Don't look at me like that." He hissed. "I was going to bring Kyle instead but he's busy studying for a math test so get mad at me, okay? Get mad at Kyle for being a fucking nerd. Jesus..." The dog yawned. Sparky was getting to old for this stuff. Stan directed his attention back to the girl who was getting further away from sight.
"C'mon Sparky. She's heading to ol' Boner Street!" he whispered to his canine sidekick. Stan stood back up and cautiously followed after Wendy, careful not to make a sound. Sparky dog grumbled and loyally followed his master. They followed her until she reached the house she was looking for and Stan's eyes widened.
"This isn't her house...she did lie to me." He looked down at his dog. "What a bitch, huh Sparky!" If Sparky could roll his eyes he would do so. Stan hid behind the fence of the neighbors of the house Wendy was now at. Wendy knocked on the door and rocked on her heels with her arms behind her back, humming a song in her head as she waited for someone to let her in.
That didn't take long.
"Wendy! How lovely it is to see you!" Pip nearly squealed taking her in right away. "Please make yourself at home!" The girl smiled and thanked him before taking her place inside the house. Stan's jealously was too much for him to handle.
"What the actual fuck!" he cursed, his grip on the fence got tighter. "Can you believe this! See's cheating on me with that French piece of shit!"
Isn't he British? , the dog thought, cocking his head to the side. Stan growled before he let go of the fence that had left red marks burning on the underside of his palms and finger from gripping it too hard. He didn't care about the pain though, he was too angry. With another mumbled "the fuck?", he stormed his way onto Pip's property and hid himself on the side of his house, peering into the window to get a good look of what exactly going on. Sparky yawned again and curled himself by Stan's side. From what Stan saw, Pip had set up his dining table like a little tea party, with crumpets stacked high on a silver platter and tea kettle sat on a little doily. The two sat side by side, munching on the snacks and talking avidly about whatever.
"I can't believe we have to do another report for Garrison!" Wendy ranted. "This is like the third one we've done this week! I mean how on Earth are supposed to find out what Matthew McConaughey does with his weekends? I swear the man is so strange!" she took a sip of her chamomile. Pip smiled at the girl.
"I know! He keeps calling me the "f" word every time I try and raise my to answer a question!" he sipped his Earl Grey. "If you ask me that man is nothing but an arse..." Wendy gasped and lightly punched Pip on the shoulder.
"Oh Philip your bad!" she laughed. He smiled again but his eyes grew dim as he lightly placed his teacup back on the table.
"Wendy, there is a reason why I asked of your presence today..." Wendy blinked as she did the same with her own teacup.
"Oh?" she asked. "What is it?" he paused and looked down at his hands nervously as he fiddled with his fingers. Wendy saw this and lightly placed her hand over his own fiddling ones to try and calm him. "You can tell me anything, Philip!" she assured him, cheerfully. Philip looked at their touching hands and a pink hue tinted his cheeks.
"Wendy, you're ever so nice to me." he rubbed her hand. "Why are you so nice to me, may I ask?" she frowned at the sad look on his face.
"Because you're a sweet fellow, inside and out. It's rare to find someone as nice as you! Especially in South Park." She squeezed his hands. "I wish everyone could see that!" Pip smiled weakly and looked at Wendy who smiled when their eyes meet.
"Wendy I need to confess to you something and I hope I don't seem rude in anyway by telling you this." He paused. "I've grown quite fond of you, Miss Testaburger." Wendy blinked before smiling her cheesy smile again.
"How would that seem rude? I'm fond of you as well, Philip!" Philip sighed and shook his head.
"No, Wendy. I'm saying I've taken a very strong liking to you" Wendy froze. "More than an acquaintance, I'm afraid." Wendy sat back in her seat and looked down at her tea.
"Oh."
Pip coughed feeling the uncomfortable awkwardness start to fill the atmosphere.
"I'm sorry, Philip. I just don't see you like that." She spoke softly. "Your more of a friend to me. Besides I'm with Stan and I'm really happy with him." Pip bit his lip but nodded softly.
"I though you would feel that way." He mumbled. "But it's quite alright! As long as we can stay friends than I'm perfectly delighted with that." She smiled.
"That's very mature of you, Philip. Of course we can still be friends!" she looked down at her tea. "Now let's finish this up before it gets cold!" Philip beamed and took a sip out of his teacup, glad that he was able to have the courage to confess his love but still able to keep his friend.
But on the otherhand...
Stan fumed as he stared daggers at the poor British chap.
"That asshole!" he thinks he can try and take my girl! I'll show him different!" and left his spot in front of the window and immediately went over to the front door. He was about to pound down the door until Sparky let out a bark, stopping him in his tracks. Stan looked down at Sparky with his eyebrows furrowed and his face growing red.
"What Sparky!" Sparky let out a couple of barks and whines but Stan just crossed his arms.
"He was trying to put the moves on Wendy! I just can't let him get away with that!" Sparky barked and Stan bit his lip.
"Yeah I know she rejected him but that still doesn't mean he can get-" Sparky interrupted him with a couple more barks and whines. Stan grimaced.
"Yeah I know he doesn't have that many friends in the first place but still..." Sparky whined. "Well...he still shouldn't hav-" Sparky gave him the old puppy eye's trick. Stan was weak against that.
"Oh...alright. I guess I shouldn't be a jerk and wreck their little gay tea party." He rubbed his neck. "And Pip deserves at least one friend." Sparky barked happily and Stan couldn't help but smile.
"Thanks, Sparky! Maybe I should hang out with you more than Kyle." He laughed. "C'mon let's go home! There's a bacon strip at home with your name on it!" Sparky barked happily again and followed Stan back to their home.
Then after that he was going to take a well-deserved nap.
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AH I'M SORRY! ;A; I meant to have the chapter out sooner but I literally passed out on my keyboard (I hadn't slept all day) and I didn't wake up till now. Gah, I feel horrible TT^TT
Sorry if Pip is a little off, I haven't seen the Pip episode since I was a kid so my Pip character memory bank is blank except from what I know about him in all the other episodes he appears in like "Conjoined Fetus Lady", "Damien", etc.
Sorry if there are any spelling errors, I wrote this all dazed out and I'm too lazy to read it over :P
Up next is punkXrockXkid's request for a Damien x Kenny! Now Damien is someone I CAN write :D Can't wait, can't wait~