Michonne is having a little difficulty coming to terms with her feelings for Rick.
The room is quiet save for the rustling of clothes, the low key moans, and the slight smacking noises coming from the two people on the bed. Rick and Michonne are in his bedroom, making out like horny teenagers. It is late at night and Carl and Judith are fast asleep, so they decide to take advantage of the situation.
Michonne gets lost in the sensation, but is desperate to keep her wits about herself. She can't let this go too far. She has to coach herself just to maintain control. Oh, he feels so good, so right in my arms. Oh no, he's touching the girls, please don't touch the girls. Her breathing quickens with the excitement she feels. Her heart is racing, her head is swimming and her body temperature is at an all-time high.
Rick continues to caress her breasts softly as he moves from her lips to her neck, nibbling and sucking. He smiles as she angles her neck to give him better access. Damn, let tonight be the night. I can't take much more of this torture. She has to know what she does to me.
Michonne runs her fingers through his hair as he lingers at her neck. Oh I need to get out of here before I rip his clothes off and start sucking his dick. He is kissing me just right, he is touching me just right, and he smells so damn good. Unexpectedly, her breath hitches when she feels his hand palm her womanhood. She jerks away from him, trying to catch her breath.
With a frown, Rick pulls back to look at her, inquiring with his eyes if she is okay. She shifts to a sitting position, bringing her knees to her chest as she wraps her arms around them. She avoids his eyes as she doesn't want to explain what is making her so hesitant to take the next step, why she is almost afraid of intimacy with him. She rests her chin on her knees and cautiously looks at him. The questions are there in his eyes, the passion, the lust, the love….. She shifts her focus to anything but him and says, "I should go."
Rick closes his eyes, trying to muster up some patience. He runs a hand through his hair, exhibiting slight irritation and asks, "Are you sure?"
Michonne doesn't think, she acts as she forces her body to stand. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night." She rushes out the door, closing it softly behind her, then leans back against it, trying to curb her emotions and her hormones. Before she can take another breath, she is falling back into Rick's room as he opens the door. Sprawled on the floor awkwardly, she looks up at him as he tries to hide a smile while helping her up. Trying to avoid his gaze, she mumbles and attempts to move past him.
Rick blocks her exit, stretching an arm in front of her, resting a hand on the doorframe. "We need to talk about this."
Still averting her eyes, she answers, "I'd rather not."
He moves closer to her, lifting her chin with a finger, willing her eyes to meet his. When she finally relents, he speaks softly, "I thought this was what you wanted. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Have you changed your mind about me…about us?"
She steps forward to give him a reassuring hug. "No, I haven't changed my mind about you. It's just…when we're together like that, you take all of my control. I can't think straight when you're touching me and…it's scary. I've always been in control, but with you….it's…different." Her heart feels like it's going to beat right out of her chest as she waits for Rick to respond.
"You can let go with me, Michonne. I'm not going to hurt you. I lo…" he stops as she presses a finger against his lips with a shake of her head.
She blinks several times, trying to comprehend what she knows Rick was just about to confess to her. She knows that she is supposed to repeat his declaration because she does love him, but she can't. She moves out of his arms and whispers, "Good night, Rick" as she crosses the hallway and disappears into her bedroom.
He watches her leave with confusion etched on his face. Slowly, he walks over to stand at her door, wondering if he should pursue the issue. He raises his hand to knock, then quickly changes his mind, resting his palm flat against the door.
Unbeknownst to him, Michonne is on the other side of the door, telling herself to go back to him, to make everything right between them. For some reason, she can't force herself to do it.
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The next week is painfully awkward for them. They manage to keep up appearances in front of Carl and the others, but continue to avoid the conversation they really need to have. It feels like their relationship has ended before it could begin and Michonne realizes she is the cause of it.
It's Saturday night and Deana has decided to throw a dinner party in honor of her son Spencer's birthday. The Atlanta Group has been invited and they've all decided to meet up at Rick and Michonne's place to walk over together.
Abe looks around anxiously and says, "I didn't want to go through this in the first place, but can we please get a move on? The sooner we get there, the sooner it will be over."
Carl chimes in with, "Everyone's here except Michonne. I'll get her."
Right as Carl approaches the staircase, Michonne appears at the top of the stairs. She smiles as she takes in Carl's gasp which draws the attention of his father.
Rick takes one look at her and his heart goes into overdrive. He knows they're not on the best terms right now, but he can't help but appreciate her beauty. In that moment, he couldn't look away if he tried as she descends the steps slowly. Her hair is pulled up, revealing her long, slender neck. The dress is purple, form fitting and strapless, hitting her just above the knee. He is jarred into action as Daryl clears his throat loudly and deliberately. He steps in just as she arrives at the bottom step and offers his arm to escort her.
She accepts with a smile, but doesn't acknowledge him with her eyes. She knows they can read each other with just a look and she is determined not to give him that chance.
The party is in full swing and everyone in the group is surprisingly enjoying themselves far more than they expected. Everyone except Rick, that is. He watches Michonne like a hawk as she flits from person to person, taking in the compliments and just being herself. She wanted a life and now, she has one….without me he thinks to himself. He had made up his mind not to indulge tonight, but gave in if only to dull the ache in his chest.
Almost an hour later, he is nursing his fourth or fifth drink. He has lost count at this point. He hasn't had any liquor in his system for months now, so it didn't take long for him to get tipsy and start to feel a little bold. Daryl and Glenn are talking to him and he's trying to pay attention, but they distract him from his main purpose which is keeping an eye on Michonne. He looks around to find her and feels a light touch on his arm. It's Cynthia….again. She is saying something, but Rick can't comprehend what she is saying because he is too busy looking for Michonne.
He is unaware that Michonne is close by, taking in the picture of Cynthia at his side, clearly enamored by him. She knows Rick could care less about that woman, but it still bothers her. She has to come to terms with her feelings and she has to do it sooner rather than later. She moves over to a side door and steps out onto the porch to get some much needed fresh air.
Moments later, she detects Rick's approach. "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same thang, but I have another question I need to ask you first," Rick tells her.
Michonne looks at him more closely and observes, "You've been drinking."
"Yep, you told me to try, right? To give this place a chance. You wanted a life, friends, family..." Rick trails off as Michonne shakes her head.
"We are not doing this here," she states adamantly.
"Where then and when? I can't keep this up. I miss you. I..." he stops abruptly as Michonne darts past him to the door to go back inside.
"Don't...don't walk away from me, Michonne," Rick warns her.
"Rick, you're half way drunk and I'm not going to have any type of conversation with you right now." She turns her back to him and walks inside.
He follows her immediately. It's like he has tunnel vision and he can't see anyone or anything but her. "Michonne! Stop! Damn it! I love you! Do you hear me? I love you!"
She freezes as she realizes what he said and the fact that he said it in front of a room full of people, including their immediate family. Turning to confront him, she slowly looks around at the bewildered looks on the faces of the people she has come to care about and love. She locks in on Carl first. His face is a mixture of emotions. He's not sure if he should be happy with his Dad's declaration or scared because of it. Next, she looks at Carol (holding Judith) whose face clearly reads, "Girl, what are you gonna do?" She turns to Maggie and Sasha, both with looks of hope, nodding their heads as if they are instructing her. Beth's eyes are wide as she covers her mouth with her hands. Rosita and Tara continue to nurse their drinks, but smirk with knowing glances. All of the guys (Abe, Tyreese, Glenn, Daryl, Bob, Noah, Eugene, and even Father Gabriel) seem to rally around Rick with their chests puffed out, expecting some kind of showdown. She quickly plasters an awkward smile on her face and says, "Excuse us" as she marches to Rick, grabs his hand, and pulls him with her to exit the house.
Abraham's voice is loud and clear as he announces jovially, "And I almost didn't come tonight."