Hello!

No, unfortunately I haven't died.

I understand I haven't touched any of my stories for a strange amount of time. It's not that I don't have any motivation, it's just that I'll be taking a potentially very long hiatus to write conpletely on Archive of Our Own.

I don't understand why, but I think it's because I find it a lot easier to write on that site. Ideas flow from my mind easier, and to be honest, I've been getting more positive support.

Because I don't choose to talk about my mental health a lot, people often don't know the whole story, and I figured it was about time I told some actual human beings.

I know some people receive help abd support because they pour out their feelings through their work, and while I do love angst, I don't write it full-time.

I prefer to bottle emotions, not let then out.

PMs and DMs are private, but people have said some hurtful things about my work, and I want to remind them that if you don't like it, it's your fault, not mine, and if you hate it so much don't read it!

There is something called Preferred Personal Writing Style, you know. My opinions and how I choose to write shouldn't affect you to the point of calling my work useless trash.

Even if I were as bad at writing as you say, which I could be and maybe I'm just not seeing it, I can still be a great person, even if I'm not the best in the world at writing.

I don't know how you tracked down my Ao3 account, perhaps I told you in a story and forgot, but please don't leave negative comments. It doesn't feel very good.

It feels even worse when you get a bookmark and are excited only to find out the Additional Notes section says ONLY BOOKMARKED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHOW MY FRIENDS THAT STORIES THIS BAD DO EXIST AFTER ALL.

Things like this are what causes depression.

I have insomnia, and I used to be able to relax because I felt happy that people were giving me such awesome support. Now that's not really happening and even though it's gotten better, lack of sleep is still looming behind me.

And I want to say to user AnonymousForPrivateReasons, what you think about me doesn't matter.

You want me to be more open about my life? Fine. I'll be more open.

I'm a fifteen year old kid with depression, anxiety and PTSD, only recently recovering from insomnia. I live under a constant pressure from so-called "Parents" to be perfect and just stop my mental health problems. I have friends, but I can't trust them with any secrets because oh I so want to, but I don't know whether they'll turn on me and stab me in the back or not.

So, all you internet warriors, don't throw away your shot to actually be a good person. After all, you're just like your comments: young, scrappy abd hungry for drama.

Shoutout to whoever caught the reference.

If you want to check me out, NOT bring me down any further, my Ao3 account name is ninehundredthousandfinalwords and my Wattpad is superchrisevans.

My Instagram is 900000wordslefttosay. NOT ninehundredthousandfinalwords. Someone already took that name.

A pat on the back to anyone who goes through what I'm going through, and to those who hate me for being me, well, if you feel like joining the fight against depression anytime soon, I'm willing to wait for it. *wink*

Bye!

Love,

Lizzy