Well, I am extremely happy and grateful for the immediate feedback I've received for this story. My specialty is serious fictions and horror fictions, and while I love to write humor, I hadn't really tried a long-term project such as this. Here's some individual responses:
1KamZ: Thank you very much :) I loved writing the part with Luigi's diary.
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: It is an honor to have my story followed by one of the board's top writers. Thank you so much for reading, and also thank you for mentioning that you were reading everything in actual Hotel Mario voices. I reread what I had written like that and I couldn't breathe.
Stuffwell359: Um...wow. Thanks O_O I hope that on average I'm able to keep up with that level of entertainment for even one person.
Chapter 2: Luigi Cleans Up
Luigi was having something of a bad dream.
"WEEGEEEEEE! HELP-A ME! THE BOOS ARE TAKING ME AGAIN!"
"No…not again…" Luigi tried to go after his brother, but the big boo that was carrying him away was too fast. "No…I…I can't bother…going through that stupid mansion again…"
"WEEGEE! I'M GOING TO PEE MYSELF THIS IS SO SCARY!" Mario screamed. Luigi stretched his arm out as if to reach Mario, but the boo disappeared with him.
"Not again…dang it." Luigi dropped his outstretched arm. Then he shrugged. "Oh well. Whatever. HEY, YOU CAN KEEP HIM THIS TIME!" Luigi called. Then he turned around and walked out of the mansion.
Luigi was awakened by several loud crashing sounds.
"Thank Eldstar…it was just a dream." Luigi started to slip out of the moldy bed he had been forced to sleep in for the previous night. "Say…where's Mario?"
"WEEEEEEEGEEEEEEE! HELP-A ME!"
"Oh my god this can't be happening." Luigi tried to slap himself awake.
"THE BOOS ARE TAKING ME! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Mario, damn it all!" Luigi ran for the door of the room he was in. He twisted and jerked at the doorknob, but it was locked. "No!"
"OH NO MY UNDERWEAR!" Mario screamed from somewhere.
Luigi futilely jerked at the doorknob for a few more seconds before looking for another way out. The room was dark, so Luigi was forced to slowly stumble around with his hands out in front of him. Something rolled out from under the bed and right into his way. Luigi tripped spectacularly.
"Ouch!" He yelped. He fumbled around in the darkness to find what had tripped him and found a Boo Ball. "Oh great." Luigi muttered. Boos were definitely back in the mansion. "Mario?" Luigi called out. Dead silence. Awesome.
Luigi stood up and began walking around slowly again. His eyes had now adjusted somewhat to the darkness and he was able to make his way to the only other way out of the room: a window overlooking a creepy graveyard. The glass was still broken, same as it was when Luigi had used it to reveal a ghost named Lydia that been hiding in the room. "No wonder it was so cold last night…" Luigi muttered. He punched out the rest of the glass that was in the window and then started climbing through.
"Maybe if I stretch I can grab the balcony…" Luigi told himself. He reached out to grab it and missed, instead falling and landing on his stomach ten feet below with a painful WHUMP. "W-Why…did…I…come…back here?"
When Luigi could breathe sufficiently again he went into the nearest door and found himself inside the Kitchen.
"Gahh…how am I going to take on the ghosts again without the Poltergust 3000?" Luigi wondered to himself. He had lost the thing shortly after clearing the mansion before.
"Hey'd…'ja hear that guys? He said he doesn't have the Poltergust!" A spooky voice said nearby.
"Let's get 'im!" Another said.
"Oh no." Luigi said.
Three boos burst out of the room's oven, flying straight for Luigi. Luigi screamed like a girl and ran for the nearest door, which led into the Dining Room. Ten more boos were at the table, eating some kind of unidentified meat.
"So I say to Boonie, I say, 'Gurrlllllll boo need some serious tan work, you are as white as a SHEET!'" A boo with way too much lipstick said to another. "But then she was like 'Mmmm Boonita you don't know me, I happen to get some boodacious offers looking like I do, know what I'm sayin', mmmm?' and then I'm like…"
"MAKE WAY!" Luigi yelled. Panicking, he jumped onto the dining table and ran into the main course, accidently kicking plates of spaghetti and weird meat into the eating boo's faces.
"MY MAKEUP!" Boonita screamed as a plateful of hot pasta with sauce smothered her face.
"I'm sorry!" Luigi called back. His mind was running to fast to connect who he was actually yelling to. He slipped through the door and emerged into a cold, dark, but safe hallway. He slammed the door shut behind him and rested his body against it. "Okay, time to catch my breath."
"Boo are kidding, right?" The three original boos and seven new angry ones emerged out of the wall.
"Oh no." Luigi said.
"You ruined my makeup...YOU ARE SO BOOED!" Boonita screamed, with strings of spaghetti still stuck to her face.
Luigi ran and the boos followed, Boonita with her fierce blue eye liner now leading the charge.
"This is really, really bad…" Luigi muttered to himself. "And I still have no idea where Mario is…wait! Maybe he's…" A creepy underground chamber appeared in Luigi's mind. "I bet Mario is back in the Altar…where he was the last time I was here." Luigi headed for a door up ahead leading to the basement.
"Please, please nothing else be locked." It wasn't. Luigi ran down the stone steps into the basement, the boos still following after him. One of them took out a cell phone.
"Hey, Boo-rad? You boosy right now? We're chasing that dumb plumber Luigi…boo should bring your gang to come help us."
"Oh COME ON!" Luigi yelled.
"That's bood to hear! We're heading for the basement." The boo hung up.
By the time he had made it to the basement hallway Luigi was being chased by a mob of twenty boos.
"Once we catch im', let's serve him up with tomato sauce." One of the boos suggested to another.
"Nah, I'd rather have him with garlic sauce." The other boo suggested back.
Luigi was too terrified to listen to the vaguely racist chatter. He made it through the Altar door and slammed it shut behind him. Unlike outside the kitchen, however, the boos didn't come after him.
"He went inside the evil room!" A boo said from outside.
"The room King Boo told us to never go into…?"
"What~ever, it doesn't matter! There's no way out of that room- he'll have to come out eventually, and we can just sit and wait until he comes out!" Boonita said haughtily.
"You mean float and wait."
"Shut up!" Boonita screeched. She had been having a terrible horrible no good very bad day.
Luigi breathed out a large amount of air and sat down against the door. After a short moment he opened his eyes and looked around the Altar where Mario's painting had once been stored. The chandeliers were there as well as the stone pillars and creepy lion statues, although the room was now devoid of any paintings. Being in the room reminded Luigi of the jewel he had found in one of the chandeliers, a jewel which had turned out to be fake, like literally every other jewel Luigi had found in the mansion.
Once it had all been over Luigi had had one hard night of drinking.
"BOOOO…"
Luigi jumped five feet. There was someone, no, something else in the room with him- something was hiding behind one of the room's stone pillars.
"W-w-who are you?" Luigi called. He felt himself shaking. No! I have to be brave!
"Who, me?" Some boo replied from behind the door.
"No, shut up!" Luigi snapped back.
"I AM THE NEW MASTER OF THIS MANSION." A short white form emerged from behind the pillar. "BOOOOOO!"
"No!" Luigi squeaked. "Don't come any closer!"
"Um, we can't come in…" Said a boo through the door.
"Nooooooo!" Luigi screamed as the thing jerked nearer and nearer to him.
Mario whipped off the blanket and started laughing uncontrollably at Luigi. "BWA HA HA WEEGEE YOU'RE SO GULLIBLE!"
"M-Mario?" Luigi gasped.
"Oh Weegee, what's-a that smell?" Mario sniffed. "Did you pee yourself? HA HA HA, I should call you-a Peegee!"
"If he peed himself I'm not eating him." An irritated voice said from behind the door.
"Mario, what the hell?!" Luigi wiped the tears off of his face. "What are you…what are you doing?! Did you get away from the boos?"
"Boos?! Ha ha ha Luigi there aren't any boos in this mansion anymore! You-a cleared them out! I was just-a having fun!" Mario put the sheet back on and started drifting around, hands out at his sides. "Booooo I am very scary!"
"Mario!" Luigi growled. "There are definitely boos still in this mansion, and because of you, we're now trapped by a bunch of them!"
"Ha ha ha really?!" Mario walked into one of the pillars and fell over. "Ouch!"
"Omigosh guys, I think Mario is in there boo!" Boonita told the other boos. "I think we're looking at a full course!"
"Yummy!" Said another boo.
"I said I'm not eating Luigi if he peed himself!"
"Ughhh we are so screwed." Luigi clutched the sides of his head and tried to think.
"Mmmm honey I already said and would say you are booed." Boonita said through the door. "Do you get it?"
"Shut up!" Luigi slammed a fist against the door.
"What if we-a crawl through the statue?" Mario offered, referring to the lion head statue on the left side of the room. On the other side was a ladder leading up to the Courtyard.
"We'd never fit." Luigi replied morosely.
"HMMMM…" Mario tapped his foot on the ground. "I-a know! We can destroy it with this weird thing I found!" Mario ran behind the pillar on the left side of the room and pulled out a red vacuum cleaner. He began whacking the lion's head statue with the device's nozzle. "Take-a that!" Mario yelled.
"Mario!" Luigi ran over and ripped the Poltergust 3000 out of Mario's grip. "The Poltergust 3000…was this where it was the whole time?"
"Poultry lust?" Mario said confusedly.
"No! Mario, this is what I used to save you last time we were here!" Mario stared at him with total incomprehension. "This is the vacuum I sucked those ghosts up with!" Luigi added this quietly. He didn't want to have the boos overhear- he wanted to give them a nasty surprise.
"OH BOY!" Yelled Mario. "WOOPEE!"
"Mario-!" Luigi whispered desperately.
"Hey-a boos! Luigi's gonna come out there and suck-a you up with his vaccum!" Mario yelled. The boos hadn't been paying attention any more.
"What did he say?" A boo asked.
"I think he said Luigi is going to suck us." Another boo said tentatively.
"Stupid stupid stupid!" Luigi growled to himself. "All-a right! Enough of this nonsense! I'm-a back, baby!" Luigi kicked the door open like a badass, smacking a boo that had been sitting nearby.
"Ow!" The boo whined.
"Now you're the ones who are booed!" Luigi shouted. He grinned and pointed the vacuum at the resting and caught-off-guard boos.
"Oh boop." Boonita gasped.
Luigi switched the Poltergust on. Immediately a tremendous amount of air began to suck at the boos, foremost Boonita who was straight ahead and closest. "Son of a bootch!" She screamed.
"Enough with the boo puns!" Luigi roared. He increased the power of the suction, and Boonita began to disappear into the nozzle.
"Yah, go Weegee, yah yah, go Weegee!" Mario called from behind, doing a celebratory dance.
"Yeah yeah yeah!" Luigi grinned, enjoying the utter bood-lust that was about to occur. Maybe coming back to the mansion wasn't so bad after all. He felt really alive again.
Then the Poltergust made some coughing sounds and shut off, with Boonita halfway into it. Luigi's moustache drooped.
"What the hell?!" Boonita crowed. She looked around and then began wiggling her tiny boo arms in an attempt to get free.
"Honey, your booty is stuck." Laughed another boo.
"Gurl, I'm going to boot the crap out of boo once I get out of here." Boonita wiggled fiercely.
"Weegee, what happened?!" Mario asked.
"I think it's out of batteries." Luigi said quietly.
"You mean booteries." Offered a rather large sized boo nearby.
"I'd say it's got plenty of that right now." His boo buddie whispered to him.
"Ya'll are SO dead." Boonita approximately doubled the rate of her wiggling.
Luigi slowly backed away from the Poltergust 3000. There was really no hope now, unless Boonita planned on beating up all of her brethren.
"Weegee, what are you-a doing?" Mario asked. He walked towards the boos. "The Poltergust 3000 doesn't take-a batteries."
"Wha…" Wait…no, it doesn't. Luigi's brain jumped. How had Mario remembered that?
Mario ripped open the back of the Poltergust 3000 and reached inside. It appeared that a large amount of the wiring was missing. The small army of boos stalled their attack out of curiosity.
"If you touch me I WILL boo-reak you." Boonita warned.
"Here we-a go!" Mario pulled out an odd black costume. Luigi squinted at it: it was strangely familiar…
Mario whipped it on and took on the appearance of a Hammer Bro, complete with two hammers already held in both hands. A Hammer Suit! Luigi hadn't seen one in years.
"I stored my-a Hammer Suit in the vacuum cleaner in case I ever-a needed it again." Mario took on a battle stance. "So…boos…you know what-a time it is?"
"7:36 AM." A boo with glasses peered down at his watch.
"NO! It's a HAMMER TIME!"
"Ugh." Luigi facepalmed.
"WHOA OH WHOA OH WHOA OH" Mario started tossing the hammers at high speed. As he threw, new ones popped into existence in his hands. "WEEGEE! Support-a me!"
"Wha…?" Luigi glanced at the broken Poltergust. It wouldn't have worked taking on all of the boos alone, but if he was acting as support…
Luigi grabbed the Poltergust's nozzle, swinging the still stuck Boonita in the air.
"BOO-OY YOU BETTER PUT ME DOWN!" Boonita screamed.
"No more boo puns!" Luigi shouted again, full of adrenaline. He began furiously swinging the Poltergust nozzle, smacking the panicking boos with it and Boonita.
"AAAAAAAA!" Boonita screamed.
"YAAAAAAA!" Yelled Mario and Luigi in symphony. They were in fighting harmony- if there was one thing Mario was good at, it was beating the crap out of enemies, and Luigi loved to help. Luigi was able to stun a boo with a hard smack, at which point Mario would take it down with a hard-hitting hammer throw.
It was barely a minute before the room was almost completely clear of boos, all having fled the mansion for some safer place- with the exception of Boonita, who was entirely knocked out by that point. Luigi dropped the vacuum with a clatter and breathed. Dang he had needed a rush like that!
"YEAH! GET OUT OF OUR HOTEL YOU STINKY BOOS!" Mario yelled at no one, except for possibly Boonita who couldn't hear anything at the moment.
"Mario." Luigi said seriously. Mario looked over worriedly.
"Brofist." Luigi grinned, raising a fist. Mario's jaw dropped with joy and he slammed his fist into Luigi's fist.
Luigi picked up the half-clogged vacuum. Mario followed him up and outside where Luigi placed the Poltergust down and pressed the release button. Boonita went flying out and into a well-placed mud hole. The splash of mud woke her up.
"See ya later, boo-yotch!" Mario called. Luigi laughed and the two headed back for the mansion.
Boonita floated up slowly and tried to brush some of the mud off of her body.
"Those boostards," She thought furiously, floating into the nearby forest. "They will be SO sorry!" She literally shook with anger. "Once I find King Daddy…they will be BOOBERRY FREAKIN' TOAST!"
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Author's Note: I freely admit there are way too many boo puns.