Author's Note: Wow…been a long time since we've seen this story, huh? Lol.
I just decided to take a quick break from the other stories and write this one out FINALLY. It has been sitting around for so long it's shameful. Prepare for this to briefly go to some crack places.
Anyways on you go ;)
Previously: Letting out a growl, she raked her fingers through the metal. It wasn't true, what she had said to Suyin; but in order to move on, Kuvira needed her to believe she didn't love her.
Awakenings of Something Unspoken
171AG
"You're going to be here for a while..." Suyin said, already sensing Kuvira's presence as she heard the door to her office close. Turning from the shelf, she locked eyes with the guard now standing to the side of the room.
Passing in front of the guard, she gave a light knock to the metal chest plate of Kuvira's uniform with the knuckle of her free hand as she made her way to one of the other bookshelves. "So, if I were you, I'd take that off."
Kuvira ignored the slightly heightened pace of her heart, watching Suyin move away.
It had become a daily battle for her to fight against the inappropriate feelings she held for the older woman; and lately they had become even stronger after Zaofu was infiltrated by the Red Lotus. What that attack had reminded her was that Zaofu was not the impenetrable fortress it felt like it was.
The Red Lotus group had only come to kidnap the Avatar, but for Kuvira they had gotten too close to Suyin for her comfort. Just the fact that they were able to sneak past their security angered her enough.
The following day, she called a meeting with the night watchmen who had been on duty. The cordial meeting quickly turned into a heated debate over loyalties, and Kuvira could hear some latent resentment for her in the other guards' voices.
Being younger than a few of her colleagues and already promoted to such a high ranking didn't sit well with some of the other guards. Some even began to question what she was doing with Suyin in order to shoot through the ranks so quickly.
Kuvira looked down. "Don't worry I-" She looked up to see Suyin turning away from the bookshelf in silence before giving her a non-negotiable look.
The guard sighed, beginning to take off her armor as she watched Suyin turn back to the bookshelf with a smile on her face.
That was one of the things about her; Suyin was friendly and easy to talk to, but everyone who had known the matriarch for a while or at least had spent time with her more than once, knew that she was a force not to underestimate.
Being Suyin's "personal" guard for years, Kuvira witnessed how easily deceptive the matriarch's kindness could be to those who didn't know her well, and how quickly that kindness could turn into intimidation. But that was the mysterious beauty of Suyin Beifong that fascinated Kuvira, and continued to a little bit more each day.
Out of the corner of her eye, Suyin watched as the guard took the armor off piece by piece, placing them in a pile on the couch.
Seeing Kuvira take off the armor in a very tentative way, made Suyin feel as though she were watching the guard pull down the barriers she had up, protecting her from the outside world, until she slowly revealed the person inside. She smiled, not noticing that she had stopped to stare; her eyes beginning to wander over the body of the guard. Kuvira had a lean and powerful kind of strength to her that never failed to mesmerize Suyin.
'I wonder what she looks like un-' Suyin hastily shook her head, closing her eyes as she cleared her throat, blocking out the other thoughts threatening to invade her mind; thoughts not fit for a matriarch…or a mother of 5. Where had they even come from, or more importantly…where were they headed?
"Suyin, is something wrong?"
The deep husky voice of the guard sent a shudder through the matriarch, as she opened her eyes to see Kuvira looking back at her with an eyebrow raised.
It wasn't often that she got to see Kuvira out of her armor; the exception being with the dance team. And even now the guard was still an impressive sight to take in; if not even more so…
Suyin briefly closed her eyes once more. "No, I'm fine…just a little tired." She sighed as she ran a hand down her face and moved across the room.
True to her words Kuvira noticed how tired the older woman looked. Furrowing her brow, she took a couple steps closer to the matriarch moving towards the desk, before she realized what her feet were doing and stepped back into her previous position.
The past few days had been hectic for the both of them. Between publically trying to persuade people that Zaofu was still safe, and maintaining heightened security after the Red Lotus attack. It was enough to say that they were both worn out. The days right after the attack had been the worst. And for the first time in a while, Kuvira had seen Suyin lose her normally calm disposition; put on sudden edge by the infiltration of the city she had worked so hard to keep impenetrable.
But now a few weeks had gone by, and things had begun to slowly return to the state of normalcy they had been in before.
"I hope you aren't planning on standing the entire time." Kuvira listened to Suyin, watching the woman move to her desk, letting her fingers trail along the edge of the wood as she turned to the window. "You know, you remind me of Lin sometimes…standing there stoic and emotionless like you are now." Suyin chuckled at the comparison while she gazed down to her city below.
Lin was a large part of her life growing up. Although they never really got along perfectly, she still loved her. It took her years to realize and come to an appreciation for everything that Lin had done for her when they were younger. Lin had become the mother figure Toph didn't always have time to be, and Suyin still held some guilt for how badly she had treated her. To this day, she still had not apologized for the scars left on Lin's face; created by her own hands, albeit not on purpose.
Kuvira shifted her eyes down to the floor. After years of being called cold and emotionless she was used to hearing it; and the more she heard those words, the more true to her personality they became. But listening to them come from Suyin hurt. She had her reasons for shutting people out; ones that prevented her from gaining any close attachments to anybody.
But unknowingly, she had let herself get attached to the matriarch. And around Suyin, emotions that lied dormant -some she didn't even know she had- would begin to surface; breaking from the depths she had pushed them into.
In the moment of hearing Suyin call her emotionless, Kuvira wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around the older woman, drawing her in and proving that she did indeed have plenty of emotion. But for obvious reasons she suppressed urges like that, knowing that she never would act on them.
"I wonder sometimes…" Kuvira heard Suyin start as the rest of the matriarch's words faded away, while the guard unknowingly fazed her out, letting the questions she asked herself over and over again surface. 'What is it I feel for Suyin? Why do I even feel this way…and for a woman twice my age?
"Kuvira?"
'What makes me feel differently for her than anyone else? When-?'
"Kuvira?" Suyin said her name the second time with a little more force; enough to break the guard from her stupor.
"What?" Kuvira blinked, hastily looking up after she gave her head a light shake. "Oh, Sorry I wasn't paying attention." Her eyes darted around to find that Suyin had moved from her desk and now stood in front of her with a handful of maps.
The matriarch smirked. "I can see that." She walked over to the table placing the maps and schematics of Zaofu down on its smooth wooden top. It was odd for her to see Kuvira get so easily distracted; something she had never known the guard to do.
Looking up from the table, Suyin's eyes met Kuvira's. "Stay here, I'll be right back." The guard followed Suyin with her eyes, watching her open the door to step out into the hallway.
On instinct, Kuvira picked up a foot to move into the direction Suyin had left, after she had disappeared from her sight. The guard in her knew to follow the orders given to her, but also wanted to ensure the older woman's safety.
It was a crazy thought to think that Suyin would be harmed in her own home. But after the attack, thoughts like that began to seem more realistic in Kuvira's mind.
Lately she had noticed herself becoming more protective over Suyin, and it began to make her wonder if it was more than just her duty as a guard that made her want to keep Suyin safe. The very idea of the matriarch being harmed made Kuvira clench her jaw and lightly grind her teeth.
Her relationship with Suyin had always felt closer than an average connection between a Boss and employee. Over the years that bond had done nothing but grow stronger. And what was once a strictly professional relationship turned into a friendship based off of respect. But during the recent months, it became evident that time had blurred the lines between their friendship and something deeper that Kuvira couldn't yet explain.
She figured the changing feel of their relationship was mainly due to the fact that they had been spending a lot more time in each other's presence during the long days and nights of the week.
Zaofu was getting older; and realizing it was time to update things, Suyin had called on Kuvira to help her find the city's weakening spots and to make the needed adjustments to security. This brought them closer on the long nights that sometimes ran into the early morning hours after their conversations would stray from the tasks at hand.
It was here that Kuvira began to notice how Suyin's subtle touches to one of her arms or a shoulder drove her heart to the edge, beating as though it'd burst from her chest at any moment.
"Why do you look so tense?" Suyin's voice startled Kuvira from her trance staring at the ground. She looked up, shifting her eyes from the tray of tea that had been brought in and set on the table, to the matriarch walking toward her with a puzzled look on her face.
When Kuvira didn't answer her, Suyin stopped in front of the guard, sharing a gaze between them.
For a moment, she thought she could see Kuvira's eyes soften from the hardened look she typically wore. "Spirits, you really are a lot like Lin." She said letting a mischievous grin slowly spread across her face as she watched the guard's eyebrow rise in uncertainty. "Loosen up." She poked Kuvira in the abdomen; a gesture the guard was ill-prepared for as she smiled and let out a short laugh.
Realizing what she had done, Kuvira tried to quickly recompose herself, covering the laugh with a misplaced cough and grunt.
Suyin, with her finger still lifted in the space between them, grinned watching the guard's eyes shift away from her own. "Oh wow…I would have never imagined that you of all people would be ticklish…I didn't even think you'd be capable of that. " the matriarch laughed; turning her back to Kuvira as she walked to the table again, smiling as a thought crossed her mind. 'I think I want to have some fun with this.'
Suyin bit her lower lip before motioning with her fingers to the guard behind her. "Come on…we should probably get started anyways."
Kuvira carefully inched closer, swearing she heard a dangerously mischievous grin in the tone of Suyin's voice.
Continuing to move towards the couch her armor lay on, Kuvira kept an eyebrow raised in suspicion, narrowing her eyes at the matriarch's back. She remembered the stories Suyin used to tell of how she was a troublemaker and a prankster in her younger years.
Even though Suyin was in her 40s, Kuvira never really thought she showed or acted her age. The older woman had an eternal youthful vibrance to her personality that made it easy for the guard to forget that Suyin was actually twice her age.
The guard sighed, shifting her eyes away from Suyin's back.
She figured if the other woman hadn't done anything already with her being this close, then she was safe.
A sudden tug on her sleeve quickly changed her opinion; making Kuvira stop in her tracks with widened eyes.
"You really should learn to loosen up."
There it was again; that suggestive tone to Suyin's voice, challenging every ounce of will power Kuvira had built up.
She turned around to look at the matriarch; her face dropping, as she watched a wicked smirk slowly spread across Suyin's face. "Suyin, no." Kuvira started to back up, wedging into the space between the couch and the coffee table.
The woman advanced closer, jabbing the guard in the side. "That's not gonna stop me…" She paused, seeing the smile Kuvira tried so hard to keep from escaping, break through the stoic mask on the guard's face. 'So, she can smile.' Suyin thought before she continued to speak, getting closer to Kuvira's retreating form with each word. "…I'm having too much fun with this."
Suyin's fingers poked at Kuvira over and over again, as the guard put all of her focus on warding off the other woman's hands; paying less attention to where she placed her feet trailing backwards.
Catching the heel of her foot behind the edge of the table leg, Kuvira lost her balance; grabbing Suyin's hand which had reached out for her.
Pulling the matriarch down with her, they landed in a heap on the floor of the office.
Slightly dazed by the force of the impact on her back, Kuvira didn't immediately notice the weight of a body on top of her. The fingers of Suyin's hand began to move within her own, quickly bringing the guard back to reality. Opening her eyes, Kuvira stared at the light fixture hanging on the ceiling above with a mixture of shock and disbelief on her face. She sucked in a stifling breath, feeling a knee push into the spot between her legs.
Suyin slipped her hand out of Kuvira's grasp; Keeping her eyes closed as she lifted her head from the guard's chest. Placing her hands down, she pushed herself up, hearing a groan come from beneath her. Suyin's eyes shot open to see Kuvira's squeezed shut and her face twisted in discomfort. "What is it?"
"You're…pushing…on my stomach."
Suyin darted her eyes to the surface below her; her hands resting on the soft spot right under the guard's rib cage. With a glance, the matriarch spared a look into the small space left between their bodies, noticing the knee she had strewn in the middle of Kuvira's legs.
With a sudden intense heat washing over her, she quickly looked over to the door; only to be thankful to every force of life that it was closed. Their situation was already getting awkward enough. She didn't need things to be made worse, by finding the eyes of unwanted spectators upon them. The last thing she needed were rumors to be spread, about how the leader of Zaofu was caught lying on the floor, in a compromising position with a younger woman; who also happened to be the captain of her guard.
Turning her head back, Suyin's eyes connected with Kuvira's deep green ones.
They froze; staring at each other for the longest time, before the matriarch saw the guard's mouth stretch into a crooked smile; something she had seen more of in one evening, than in all of the years they had been working together. It made her want to melt and collapse against Kuvira's warm body, for reasons she didn't understand.
"You know…you're still on me."
Suyin was pulled from her thoughts, as her eyes focused back to guard's. "Oh s-sorry." She moved off of Kuvira, before she turned and landed on her back with a 'thud' against the floor.
Out of the corner of her eye, Kuvira watched Suyin lay down next to her; drawing an arm over her eyes as she exhaled a slow breath.
Neither of them made any immediate attempt to get up. In fact, there was an air of content between them as they laid side-by-side, listening to the room dissolve into silence; their soft breaths being the only thing heard.
Kuvira turned her head to look at Suyin; taken aback by the beauty of the sight she was greeted with. Basked in the glow of the evening sun filtering in from the windows above, Suyin looked more radiant than ever to the awestruck guard; even with the added shadows cast over her.
A small smile spread across Suyin's face, as Kuvira watched her mouth slightly part.
"I must really be tired, to pull something like I did earlier."
Without giving much thought to the matriarch's words, Kuvira let her body work before her mind; rolling over onto her knees until she hovered above Suyin.
The older woman could already sense what was happening, feeling the heat from Kuvira's body grow warmer and warmer against her skin and through the fabric of her clothing. She didn't want to move her arm, knowing that she'd find Kuvira above her, gazing back.
But a part of her did wonder what it was that held her back. Was it her morality? Or was it the fact that she knew if she lowered her arm, suppressed emotions would be let out; forcing her to give into feelings that were rapturous in the short term, but undoubtedly destructive in the long term.
Right now, her arm was the barrier between what she knew was right, and what she wanted.
There was a faint 'clink' as a hand reached up to move Suyin's arm away from her eyes; effectively breaking the barrier between them; The one that prevented Kuvira from seeing the matriarch's true desires set somewhere behind her jade colored eyes.
Suyin felt her arm resting in the guard's hand as she stared at Kuvira. And for the first time, she was able to see the guard as she had never seen her before; her eyes telling her more than she imagined Kuvira was capable of. In them she saw comfort, fidelity, protection…and something else she had never noticed before…love.
The glare of the sun on metal drew Suyin's attention to the necklace that had fallen out of Kuvira's uniform; now hanging in front of her. She never knew Kuvira to keep such things; and definitely never saw her as the type to wear jewelry. But from what Suyin could see, this wasn't just a random piece of jewelry. It was a piece of sentimental nostalgia that had its significance to her.
Suyin lifted her hands, gently breaking the one from the guard's grip in the process, to grasp the necklace before her mind could say no. At first touch she realized she couldn't feel the familiar sensation that she did with other bendable metals, telling her it was platinum. Turning the silver colored metal between her fingers, she noticed a worn engraving written in the old Earth Kingdom language.
If her days in school had taught her anything, what it said was "for my daughter."
"It's the only piece of my parents that I have." Kuvira said, her softened voice pulling Suyin from her trance.
"It's beautiful."
Smirking, Kuvira ran her thumb across the top of the matriarch's forehead; allowing some of her fingers to trail into the greying hair. "It's old is what it is."
"Well it obviously means something to you." Suyin said, as her hands slowly travelled upward from the necklace to clasp around Kuvira's neck.
"You know, I don't normally divulge family history…" Kuvira smiled. "So, I guess that means you're having an effect on me."
A lazy "hmm…" was all she got out of Suyin, as the guard felt herself being pulled down.
Their eyes met, leaving neither to speak the unspoken confessions that played out between them. And Kuvira gave a genuine smile to the woman below her, knowing that her once thought to be unrequited feelings, were returned.
But this was where the danger lied, in those moments just before committing that un-redeemable act of a kiss.
There were still thoughts of resistance that lingered in her mind as Kuvira stopped herself with an inch separating her from what she had always desired, and the point of no return. But temptation won as she felt their noses touching and the softness of Suyin's breath on her face, mingling with her own.
And, what was the point of life, if you couldn't ever have even a taste of what you longed for?
That was the question that rationalized all of the guard's thoughts as she connected her lips with Suyin's.
Their first kiss was mixed with uncertainty, as they learned the distinct feel of each other's mouths and the special characteristics of the other's kiss.
Kuvira moved down; off the palms of her hands and to the edges of her forearms, bringing herself closer to Suyin. What they were doing didn't just step on the blurred lines and boundaries between them; but crossed them entirely.
Breaking apart for air, they shared another look; both smiling passionate smiles that mimicked each other.
Suyin caressed the soft hair on the back of the guard's neck with her fingers, unknowingly sending chills through Kuvira's body with each touch. "Let's try that again…" she slowly started to bring the guard back down to her. "…and this time…do it right."
Giving a soft laugh, Kuvira did as instructed of her and let everything go; meshing their lips together for the second time.
Somewhere in the kiss, Suyin lost herself too; pulling on the guard by the green shirt of her uniform. The matriarch felt the weight on top of her increase slightly, as Kuvira relaxed against her; leading Suyin to catch a moan in her throat, keeping it from escaping as she felt the guard's belt grind into her hips.
Since they were lying right on the floor of her office, she couldn't let things go too far; but that didn't stop her from indulging herself for a few moments more.
Kuvira wrapped her arms around Suyin, feeling the older woman's fingers run across the skin behind her ears; gliding down to her face, as their kiss grew more desperate.
This was a twist to the monotonous sequences of her life that Kuvira hadn't been expecting. To think of herself ever kissing Suyin was originally just a fantasy hidden in the back of her mind; making what was happening feel all the less real.
Kuvira waited for the moment that she'd wake up from a daydream, finding Suyin sitting across the table from her with an odd look on her face as she stared back at her.
But just in case it was more real than she had yet to realize, Kuvira gripped the woman below her tighter, not wanting to lose the feeling of holding Suyin in her arms; something that she may never have the chance to experience again.
Moving from Suyin's lips, Kuvira placed a trail of kisses down the matriarch's neck as her ears picked up a muffled ring in the background.
Lost in their own world, the ringing around them went unnoticed long before Suyin opened her eyes in annoyance; narrowing them with a growl.
With her head resting against Kuvira's shoulder, she sighed. "I should probably get that."
The guard's eyes shot open hearing the whispered words in her ear. She hastily released Suyin from her grip and stood up from the floor; not even taking time to allow herself to fully process the situation.
Keeping her gaze down, Kuvira turned and walked over to the couch her armor lay on; wiping her mouth of any trace of Suyin's lipstick; she didn't need any questions from people asking who she had kissed, or any of the other suspicions that typically followed those questions.
"And, I should probably go." She began to put her armor back on, hearing the rustle of fabric behind her.
Suyin got up; walking over to her desk with a sigh as she pushed a hand through her hair.
Picking up the phone, the ringing ceased. "Suyin."
"Ma'am, just calling to tell you that it's all good down here; we're ready to close things up." The matriarch looked out the window. The horizon of the sun was just beginning to disappear, darkening the sky.
Night was approaching quickly, and the guard was making his routine call to her; the same one she got every night before they closed the domes. "Ok, go ahead and close it up."
"Yes ma'am." The guard said before the phone call was mutually ended without another word.
Suyin put the phone back on the hook; letting her hand linger on the handle as her thoughts wandered back to the memory of what occured moments ago.
She hadn't been kissed like that in a long time.
Kuvira made her feel needed again, while also bringing out the side of her younger self she thought was long gone. "Hey, Kuvira?"
The guard looked over her shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Better not get on my bad side."
Kuvira turned her body half way, to gaze at the woman with her back facing her. "Why is that?"
The matriarch grinned, looking down at the phone her hand still rested on. "Well, because now I can tell everyone that the tough captain of the guard is ticklish." She heard a soft laugh go through Kuvira's deep voice, and turned around to the other woman with an eyebrow raised.
"Blackmail, huh?" Kuvira smiled. "You know, I think they'd be more concerned as to how you found that out..."
Suyin smirked, shifting her eyes back down. "Ok, you win…well played."
Moving towards the door, Kuvira took in a deep breath; stopping with her hand on the door handle. "Let me know, if you need anything."
There was a subtle vocal inflection that Suyin's ears picked up, as she listened to the guard say "anything."
She gazed over to the maps; still sitting untouched where she had left them on the table, and to the tea which had probably gone cold.
The matriarch turned around, focusing on the chair behind her desk as she let her feet move in its direction. 'We can get it done tomorrow.' She thought, remembering why she had called Kuvira into her office in the first place.
Whatever it was that happened between them just a short while ago, had now undoubtedly changed the nature of their relationship forever. They would never look at each other the same way again.
Whether or not the change was good or bad, was something still worth being debated in the minds of both participants.
Kuvira opened the door ajar, hearing Opal and Wei's voices breaking through the stillness of the silence in Suyin's office. Sensing there was something else Suyin had left to say, she lingered behind a little longer than she should have.
"You know, we're gonna have to talk about it eventually…" The matriarch paused, sighing a little bit heavier as she sat down in the chair. "…But not tonight…go get some rest."
"Yeah, I will."
"Suyin?" Bataar's voice came around the door, leading Kuvira to step back, opening it wider so he could get it. Their eyes locked for a brief moment before she pushed past him with a light nod, escaping the room.
Suyin's face froze; her eyes slightly widening as she watched the awkward interaction play out in front of her.
Feeling a trace of guilt, she looked down at the family photos that sat on her desk. And for the first time that evening, the consequences of her actions were very clear in her head. "Yeah?"
Bataar stepped closer to his wife, glancing over to the maps on the table. "Are you going to come down for dinner?"
'It's dinner already?' Suyin put a hand over her eyes in an effort to hide her growing shame.
"Suyin, is something wrong?" the matriarch closed her eyes, hearing Bataar repeat Kuvira's exact words from earlier.
"Yeah, I will." Suyin said, bypassing the question she didn't really have an answer for.
"Well the kids are starting to wonder where their mother is..." Bataar said, moving over to his wife.
Suyin opened her eyes, keeping them trained on the wooden grains of her desk.
It was like the words Kids and mother were being used against her; serving to only increase her guilt. She tensed at the sudden feel of his hand on her shoulder. His touch wasn't like Kuvira's; it didn't have the same intensity, and part of her wondered why not.
"I love you, don't be too long." He squeezed her shoulder and made his way out of the office.
It wasn't until he left that Suyin could muster a soft "I love you too."
A.N.- So, good read? I hope so. lol. It was much longer than I expected it would be. Anyways, hope you liked it and you can always message me or just review, and tell me your thoughts about it. ;)