Chapter 2 (CrimsonIceGoddess)

Inertia

Edward

When I first arrived in Rio, my compulsion to return to Bella hadn't been as strong. My need to destroy Victoria was fresher. I was able to focus on that goal. On sunny days I sat in my rental home located just outside of the Tijuca National Park. The neighborhood was nice enough that my recently leased, deeply tinted window, Mercedes did not stand out. Every day, I spent my mornings listening. I listened for tales of a pale, red headed woman. I listened for stories of mysterious murders or disappearances. I listened for others of my kind in the area. On cloud covered days I drove around with my windows down, listening and trying to discern Victoria's scent. It had been over two months since I picked up her trail. She had eluded me that day just as she had in Texas, months earlier. I had not caught her scent since.

Evenings I reserved for running in the forest. I told myself that I was still searching for Victoria, but I was really running to distract myself from thinking about Bella. Old habits were hard to break. My life took a turn the night I happened upon a peaceful meadow. I decided to lie back, relax and actually enjoy some memories, since they were all I had left of my Bella. But when I looked at the stars, my vision was clouded- not with the old vision of Bella- her deep chocolate eyes looking at me perplexed, but with my last true memory of Bella- her eyes full of despair and heartbreak. I had betrayed her. But, how could she have believed me? It had been so easy, the easiest part of my departure from Forks. It had taken me days to prepare my family to move, to convince them it was for the best, to find the ideal location to resettle. It had only taken minutes to unravel the hold I had on Bella. I had left her in the woods, so close to her home. She would mend. She would remain human, and she would live. And one day, she would be happy again. Her hold on me, however, could never unravel. I was, am completely bound to her.

The next morning, upon returning to the rental house, I realized I had not checked my phone messages in awhile. My family knew I wouldn't answer, but were loyal with weekly messages of love and requests for me to return to them. That day my battery was uncharged and I had to plug it in. After examining the phone to confirm I had no text messages from Alice-the only reason I really kept the phone- I resumed my state of inertia. My outings became fewer, my depression grew.

My relationship with Alice was strained. She was very angry with me for leaving Bella. The night of Bella's birthday, she had followed Jasper. As much as she loved Bella, Jasper was her main concern. It was easy to convince her to take him to Denali. She was so caught up in Jasper's future that she couldn't see what I was planning, resolving. After leaving Bella, I headed for Denali and extracted her promise not to interfere in Bella's future. THAT argument went as I expected. It took hours and influence from Jasper to convince her. She saw it as a defection. Even without looking, she knew what her removal from Bella's life would do to Bella. But I could see in her mind that she still held hope, still believed my willpower was not strong enough to keep me from Bella forever. So she decided to wait and she made her promise to me. She only text messaged me when she thought I needed to know something important, either about the family, or about my mission to destroy Victoria.

In Denali, I had learned that Laurent was spending time there, though he was not present during my visit. He had confided in the sisters that Victoria went to Phoenix, to mourn James's death. After that, he wasn't sure. Alice saw Victoria headed toward Houston. I had been depending on these infrequent texts from Alice. With my tracking abilities limited to following someone's mind or very recent scent, I would've been blind in my search without Alice. The last text I had had from Alice simply stated Brazil, Rio de Janeiro. And that had been months ago.

My life in Rio de Janeiro had become unbearable. I was on a downward spiral. I lay down upon the floor of my sparsely furnished rental house reliving every moment I had spent with Bella. Not only my personal memories, but every memory of Bella I had seen through the eyes of others, consumed me. My mind had chosen to slowly fill every spacious compartment with her since the day I left. As I lay, I clenched her shirt, the blood stained reminder she had shed before leaving my house on her birthday. I had hidden it from the others, not wanting to alert them to my depravity. The shirt served as a reminder of why I needed to set her free, but selfishly, it also held the scent of her, and her most precious blood. Eating, breathing, tracking- they had all ceased to matter to me. Like a captain going down with his ship, I tied myself to this existence rather than let myself try to survive. For survival, I would have to follow my instincts, and currently, my only instinct was to run northwest as fast as possible and beg her forgiveness, beg her to take me back.

The only thing that could rouse me from my current tormentwas the unmistakable chime of a text message from Alice. I see Victoria, CALL ME! This was a new development. Alice had never asked me to call her. Honestly, I was a little worried. I checked my other voice mail messages first, all were from Esme. I had several weeks' worth of messages- just how long had I ignored my phone? The house in Ithaca was coming along nicely; Carlisle and Jasper were doing well; Rosalie and Emmet had returned from another honeymoon; Alice was researching her family background; everyone was in Denali for Spring Break but heading back to Ithaca soon, etc… Nothing alarming. I dialed Alice.

"Edward, thank God," she said. "I saw Victoria, she wasn't in Brazil. Edward, I'm… having trouble seeing her. I really think you need to come to Ithaca. I think we need to discuss this as a family. You've been gone too long and it hasn't done any of us, especially you, any good. I don't see you accomplishing anything staying there, Edward. I CAN see you and you look like Hell. I need you too. I'm having some trouble. Laurent has gone missing. Irina asked me to look for him, and I can't see him either. I'm getting kind of freaked out. Maybe he's dead. I don't know, Edward, we just need you, at least for a visit. Esme is devastated. Please, please, please!"

"Alice." I let her name hang there for a moment, a plea, for what, I do not know. "I only see two paths for you right now, Edward. You either come to Ithaca, or you go to Forks. And if you go to Forks, I want you to know, I'll be meeting you there. I miss her too. So much."

By evening the next day, I was presentable. I had fed, had my first shower in quite a while, and was wearing clean clothes. All my loose ends in Rio had been tied. Alice had reminded me of my purpose and I was going to enlist the aid of my family in finding Victoria. The Prodigal Son was returning, again.

Esme and Carlisle met me at the airport. After the constricting embraces, Esme held my hand with both of hers, as if I were going to bolt at any moment. Esme wasn't able to give me too much information. She and Carlisle did tell me that Irina and Laurent had bonded. Apparently, Laurent was prone to disappearing for weeks at a time and was having trouble adhering to the "vegetarian" lifestyle expected in Denali. He had been missing for several weeks without contacting Irina and Alice had been unable to see his future. As for Victoria, Alice hadn't shared much information. Neither Carlisle nor Esme supported my plans for revenge. Carlisle tried to talk me into enrolling at Cornell with Jasper. In his mind, I could see that he thought Jasper would keep me calm, help me regain some composure. As if I hadn't given them enough to worry about in the past nine decades, I was actually more unstable now than I had ever been. I hated for them to see me like this. I had never hated what I had become more than at that moment. Carlisle was suffering too, blaming himself for turning me, for encouraging my love for Bella, for the way we left Forks, for letting me leave alone. I could tell from his mindset that I wouldn't get very far again without a babysitter.

When we returned to the house- a classic Craftsman home built before I was born- Esme lit up like a Christmas tree. It was located in the Cornell Heights historic district and had once been used for student housing. This was exactly what she needed to keep her mind occupied-one of the reasons I bought it years ago and encouraged the move here last Fall. It was rumored that the house was haunted. Well, with 6-now 7- vampires in residence, it surely was now. Carlisle drove around to the back of the house where Alice was waiting for me, sitting on a tree swing. I had missed that little pixie. Esme let up on my hand so I could jump out of the car and grab Alice in a big bear hug. She immediately started telling me and showing me her thoughts. Victoria was in the water, an ocean. The weather was stormy and gray. Then she saw Victoria in a snowy forest, not unlike Denali. Perhaps she was looking for Laurent. Maybe Carlisle was right. If Alice hadn't seen Victoria planning to hurt Bella or return to Forks, then maybe my vengeance was misguided. When Alice looked into my own future, it was chaotic. Apparently, I was at yet another crossroad. No matter which future she saw, however briefly, I was with one of my brothers or sisters. They were not planning to let me leave alone again. The vision I both desired and dreaded, the vision of myself in Forks, did not have Bella in it. What could that mean?

I spent several days setting up my room and getting acquainted with the area. After a week, Alice came to me and announced that my package had arrived at the post office. She looked at me curiously. I could see that she knew what was in it, the item I had been hiding from my family-Bella's shirt. "No judging," I pleaded. Then she smiled and asked to take me to pick it up. She knew of a perfect hiding spot for my treasure. All she asked was to have access to it too. This would be our little demented keepsake of the girl we both loved. We told the others we were going hunting. Alice knew of a geo cache site in the forest that our family tended to veer away from, so as not to harm any human pursuing their hobby. The geo cache was located in a hollow space in an old oak tree. Alice and I climbed up and found another hollow and used a box, similar to the one further down the tree, to hide our own treasure. After we had both had our fill of Bella's scent, Alice begged me to let her peek at Bella's future. She caught me at a weak moment and I consented. What she saw staggered us both, for she saw nothing.